


Family life

by AniZH



Series: Young parents [3]
Category: Victorious (TV)
Genre: F/M, Family, Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-24
Updated: 2019-01-04
Packaged: 2019-04-07 15:08:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 19
Words: 102,267
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14083626
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AniZH/pseuds/AniZH
Summary: Beck and Jade had their first child with 16. It was hard, but they made it work. They still make it work, over time with even more children and still very much in love. [sequel to Their son and How they got there; probably also readable without having to read those stories though]





	1. Mornings

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome!  
> I don’t know if anyone (still) waited for this, but this is finally the sequel to Their son (and How they got there). You can expect... at least ten chapters, I think.  
> I don’t get around to write much at the moment, but I’ve written a few very small scenes for this by now and thought I could upload the first chapter. I plan to only upload about once a month – if I manage to write the next chapter quicker, I of course will also upload quicker.  
> I’m talking about ‘chapters’ but it will again be more like one shots, like How they got there. They also are spread over a lot of years.  
> There are two wholly different scenes in this chapter. The second one mentions Beck having dropped out of college; in the next chapter I will actually show how that happened, so all the talks etc.  
> Yeah, okay. I hope you’ll like this! :) Have fun reading!

Beck and Jade have graduated from high school, are 18 years old, will start college very soon and Beck’s parents actually are paying for a three room apartment for them. It’s not big. Each room is quite small, so there’s not much room to move around. But it’s better than the RV or Jade’s room in her mother’s house. And they do have three rooms.  
They’ve searched for a two room apartment at first but Beck’s parents then said that that little rent more wouldn’t hurt and that they should get a room on their own too. So, they now have an own bedroom for themselves, a room with the kitchen and for living and then of course a bedroom for their son.  
Benjamin is almost two and a half years old now and has been really proud to get his very first own room, not counting his room in Beck’s parents’ house where he has never slept until now. They allowed him to pick out everything by himself (of course only giving him options, but he insists on deciding on his own by now which is why they let him choose between their options). Jade’s mother pretty much payed for all the new furniture in the house, as she said she and Beck’s parents have agreed for her not to have to pay for the rent at all, which is why she at least wants to pay for the new furniture and alike.  
She and Jade’s father also pay for Jade’s living costs and half of Benji’s (excluding the rent) and for Jade’s college tuition. Beck’s parents of course pay for his tuition and his and the rest of Benji’s living cost.  
Beck and Jade tried not to buy too many things for the new home. Of course they had to get a few things they didn’t need before like appliances for the kitchen. But they had couches and a chair for example from Jade’s old room and Beck’s RV and took those with them though they don’t fit perfectly together.  
Mainly, they bought a new bed for the both of them as they loved the thought of officially having a bed that actually fits both of them, instead of always having to press into each other. And in this apartment, they have the room for that.  
Otherwise, they bought a lot of new stuff for Benji, just because his room was supposed to look perfect. It does now.  
With the move, he changed out of the crib into a big boy bed. That also made him very proud.  
Jade and Beck aren’t kidding themselves though. They guess it’s very possible that Benji won’t be able to sleep in that bed for some time. It will be the very first time, he sleeps alone in a room at all. Until now, he always slept in a room with Beck and/or Jade – or the very few times their parents gave them a whole night off, he stayed with them in a room as the situation was unclear enough for him then, so nobody wanted him to have to sleep in a room alone in those situations.  
Now, everything also is a little unclear. They have just moved and he doesn’t feel at home here yet. To now have him sleep in his very own room... as he’s already a bad sleeper (though he does sleep most nights through by now)... Not to mention that Jade and Beck also love to sleep closely to each other and they could understand if their child, especially still so young, would feel the same.  
They have always counted on him coming into their bed throughout the nights during the first weeks. He’s supposed to at least fall asleep in his new bed though, which is why they lied there with him for a long time yesterday. He was exhausted after that day full of moving, but psyched about it all the same, which is why it still took some time for him to fall asleep. Beck and Jade stayed with him, sang for him softly and then talked between each other while Benji drifted off to sleep.  
They still unpacked a little afterwards, before they went to bed themselves.  
Now, Beck wakes up and is mildly surprised that it’s already morning, which means that Benji didn’t wake him once during night. And the little boy also doesn’t lie in bed with them now.  
Instead, it’s only Beck and Jade, in the middle of the bed, pressed closely together, as if they don’t have that much more room in the bed.  
He’s spooning Jade and just now feels her fingers softly stroking his hand. So, she’s awake already, but is still enjoying the quiet morning, instead of getting up and seeing if Benji’s okay or anything else.  
Well, they did get used to enjoy every quiet moment. But Beck guesses Jade has to feel a little anxious about Benji still being okay. Beck does too. He apparently is ready to sleep in his own room now. But it’s weird to not directly see him, first thing in the morning – or to know that their parents or the other one is taking care of him at that very moment.  
Beck moves his own hand to take Jade’s into his, which makes her realize that he woke up. She turns around in his arms, onto her back. Their eyes meet, and somewhere is a content smile, then Beck leans over her and they kiss.  
“Good morning,” he whispers while she puts one of her hands in his neck, to pull him into another kiss.  
“Mh,” she just answers into the kiss.  
They keep kissing for a while, then they softly break apart once more and he quietly says: “This is perfect. Finally waking up in our own home.”  
“Mhm. Finally living without our parents,” she agrees.  
“Having so much room just for us...” he adds though yes, they apparently have slept tonight closely pressed together so that even each their old beds would have been enough. They wouldn’t have needed more room in any sense.  
But as they kiss again, there is suddenly a voice anyway: “Mommy? Daddy?”  
Benji has walked into the room, which door was open for him to definitely be able to get to them throughout the night. Now, he walks up to the bed as they both turn into his direction, Beck fully sitting up, while Jade remains lying.  
“And for him,” Jade says with a smirk.  
Beck also has to grin, as he leans over to the side of the bed and picks Benji up.  
“Yes, baby?” he asks while he puts him down between himself and Jade, Jade still lying down.  
“You’re awake,” the little boy notices.  
“Uhu,” Jade answers. “You are, too. Did you sleep well in your new room?”  
The boy nods earnestly in response, before Beck asks: “Wanna stay in our bed for a while and cuddle?”  
“Cuddle,” the boy repeats, obviously liking that idea.  
Beck and Jade help him to get under the blanket between them and he lies down and lets himself get pulled close by Jade.  
Beck undoubtedly would’ve liked some more time alone with Jade, enjoying waking up together, the warmth and the comfort between them, just the two of them.  
But he also loves Benji being with them now, him included in this calm moment in their new apartment. Him being able to enjoy this moment too. And him making it possibly even warmer and more comforting for Beck.  
Beck smiles as he first drops a kiss on Benji’s cheek, then leans further over him and Jade again to kiss her once more.

o  
O  
o

Beck has to film on location in Miami for the series, in which he’s a regular. Which is totally awesome. But which also means that he isn’t there when their group of friends all sleep over at Cat’s parents’ house. Cat’s parents are pretty much still gone with her brother most of the time, but they come back every now and then for a while. That makes Cat stay at her parents’ house with easy access to her grandmother and other relatives though – and her friends of course.  
Cat invited all of them to a sleepover tonight, from Friday to Saturday. Beck was supposed to come back Thursday evening but the filming schedule changed after his arrival in Miami last Sunday. He will only come back on Saturday around 11am. Which means that he will still join the group, but only at that time for some more hours. Robbie and Andre each planned something else for that Saturday evening, so they don’t have time all day. But at least for a little bit longer.  
Benji of course is invited as well; he’s as much part of their group as any of them.  
Benji’s four years old by now, most of the friends are twenty years old. Beck has dropped out of college recently while the rest of the friends are still going, with Tori and Andre also starting each their careers at the same time. In a few months time, Beck and Jade want to marry, after being engaged for two years.  
When Tori arrives that late Friday afternoon, after a meeting with her agent, Jade and Benji are already at Cat’s, as is Robbie.  
They are playing a game of pairs when Tori comes in. Jade and Robbie aren’t really invested and are more talking than playing, while Cat’s totally into it. Benji is too; of course he is as they otherwise wouldn’t have to play.  
They have to consider Benji more and more, the older he gets. It also happens more than in school that Jade and Beck don’t take him with them when they meet up with their friends. Benji has his own mind by now and needs to be entertained much more specific. He needs attention and not just with the friends smiling lots at him or alike, but by everyone of the group watching what he does if they are all there.  
Benji’s able to play on his own, but if they are all together he understands it more like a playdate and needs to be involved too, unlike when he wasn’t even two and they could sit him somewhere with a few toys and otherwise could play poker and talk about their own lives.  
It’s different, which doesn’t mean the friends aren’t always happy to have Benji with them as well. They do want to see him regularly, love him all so damn much.  
To keep Benji occupied this time, they decided, before meeting up, to watch Disney movies after dinner. Benji won’t seperate from the group to go to sleep, they know that. But he’s able to fall asleep while watching movies, so they will put on something harmless. Tori likes Disney movies very much, just like Cat, Robbie and Andre, so they don’t have a problem with watching those.  
And yeah, they will be able to talk, even if Benji will watch the movies. And they can talk even more, as soon as Benji’ll have fallen asleep.  
That’s how they do it. They cook dinner together after Andre has arrived as well and Tori already tells a little about her meeting with her agent.  
They also talk all through dinner, then they are still sitting together for a while, before they all get into their pajamas and set up on the floor of Cat’s living room.  
Benji also already brushes his teeth, before they all pick their spots for the night.  
“Lie next to me,” Cat begs the little boy, as she finally puts down her own sleeping bag in a comfortable distance to the TV.  
Benji scrunches up his face though and finally steps between Andre and Robbie, who have decided on spots first.  
Cat pouts. “Don’t you want to cuddle with me?”  
Well, yeah, if Benji lies or sits down next to Cat, he always gets cuddled. And lately, he hasn’t been too into it anymore. He has phases where he loves to hug and kiss all of them, but other days he’s not interested in it at all. Today, he hasn’t even hugged Tori or Andre in greeting, and Tori guesses Cat and Robbie neither. Which is kind of sad because he’s just huggable, but well... he’s growing up and he’s Jade’s son.  
Benji looks over to Cat, looks into her sad face, and Tori wonders if he will change his mind, will go to Cat and let her cuddle him if she wants to so badly.  
But then, there’s Jade, harshly: “Don’t guilt him into doing it.” She turns to her son: “Lie down whereever you want, Benji.”  
He nods and takes his place between the two men, where there’s still more than enough room for him. Which also leaves Jade alone. Jade who loves to cuddle with both Beck and Benji, even if she barely lets anyone else touch her. Tori wonders if she also doesn’t really like Benji becoming this... independent.  
Well... But Cat definitely seems to see that she has made a mistake. “Sorry,” she hastily says, to both Jade and Benji, but neither cares much.

Benji falls asleep when the second movie has just started. The rest of the group stays up a whole lot longer, talking and laughing with each other.  
When Tori wakes up again, it’s morning. She turns around and dozes off for another few minutes, before she opens her eyes to notice that everyone else is still in bed too, possibly even asleep. Except for Cat who comes back in that very moment. Probably, she was in the bathroom.  
Tori closes her eyes back up, only to hear some new noises and soft steps. And suddenly, Jade’s voice, quiet though: “Where’re you going?”  
Tori opens her eyes again and notices that Benji’s tiptoeing through the room. “Bathroom,” he whispers, not stopping, and Jade makes a small noise, then turns, her eyes closed.  
Tori doesn’t know why Jade has checked where her son was going. It’s not like she would notice at home when he would get up and use the bathroom or anything. But Tori guesses she doesn’t want Benji to just walk around in Cat’s house without anyone watching.  
Benji’s back two minutes later, before Tori has dozed off again.  
Tori opens her eyes just in time to see the boy lie down next to his mother instead of in his own bed. Jade doesn’t even open her eyes. She raises her blanket as soon as she feels him and lets him slide in with her. Tori can see how Benji snuggles his face into Jade’s chest and how she lies one of her hands on the back of his head, protectively, stroking through his hair. Her lips touch the top of his head in a silent, gentle kiss.  
With a smile, Tori closes her eyes again.  
It’s not too much later that there’s some yawning and one after another they decide that they can also stay awake now. There are open eyes meeting when you turn around, until Tori sees Robbie sitting up, also yawning.  
“Morning,” she says with a smile when their eyes meet and he repeats the greeting with Cat following up and then Andre too.  
Benji and Jade also make noises that sound surprisingly alike, before Benji’s the one to start the morning with a whole coherent sentence: “Is Daddy gonna be here soon?”  
Only that makes Jade open her eyes, looking at the boy that has pulled back slightly during the morning greetings. “I think it’s still gonna take a while. What time is it?”  
That question’s directed into the room and the time shoots out of Cat, which must mean she must’ve looked at her watch right before, as she definitely isn’t now: “9:05.”  
“Then he’ll be here in about two hours,” Jade says and like she always does, talking to Benji, she puts that time into perspective: “So we still can get ready for the day and eat something and maybe even play a little.”  
Tori can not really see Benji’s face but he must look somewhat sad about it, at least, Jade strokes through his hair, as she whispers: “I know you miss him. He’s gonna be home real soon.”  
Tori always likes hearing Jade talk to Benji like this, with such an unusual softness in her voice. But she gets shortly distracted. Cat, who has sat up by now, almost looks likes she has to bite her tongue while she listens to mother and son talking.  
Robbie and Andre have listened as well and Robbie now says: “It’s really cool that your dad is filming in Miami though.”  
It’s to cheer Benji up. The boy turns around to look at Robbie. Andre promptly agrees: “That’s awesome. I bet he will have a lot to tell when he comes back.”  
“Beck and a lot to tell?” Tori asks with a smile. No, obviously he will talk about it, especially when they ask. But he won’t blab on about it on his own. Unlike Cat would. Or Tori. Or Andre or Robbie.  
They start joking about it and phantasizing about what Beck might have to tell. After a while, Cat gets up and leaves, probably for the bathroom, taking her phone with her.  
She comes back only shortly later and Tori can barely believe her eyes: Beck is with her. Cat has her hands over her mouth as if she has to keep herself from screaming out of happiness, but her grin is still very visible behind her hands.  
Beck’s grinning just as much though. And Andre, Robbie and Tori have all seen him, while Jade and Benji are mostly turned to him with their backs. Beck promptly puts his finger on his lips as he notices the situation himself. It’s a damn good thing that they’re all good actors and are quick to not let it show in their faces that Beck has just walked in.  
Jade also is a little distracted as she’s just commenting on their conversation, looking at the back of Benji’s head as the comment was meant for him, smirking.  
The boy now also starts to answer, turns around to her, while Beck silently walks up to them. Benji immediately sees him as he turns.  
“Daddy!”  
He’s up and jumping over Jade. Beck has arrived right next to Jade by now and goes down on his knees. Benji’s in his arms before Jade can comprehend what’s going on.  
Then, she’s sitting up too and turning around in the same move and she doesn’t even get up some more in any sense, just slides over and also hugs Beck tight, just like her son.  
Even though Tori can only see her mostly from behind, she notices the big smile in Jade’s face, that Jade tries to hide in Beck’s neck.  
Tori has never seen these three reunite after a few days apart, but it makes her heart ache a little. It’s beautiful. Also when Jade breaks apart again from Beck for a little to then kiss him. Also when they kiss for too long with Benji still tight in Beck’s arms.  
Tori shares a short look with Andre, like they do sometimes when the couple in their group doesn’t seem to be able to stop kissing. It’s a little awkward at times, but their eye rolls about it are good-natured.  
Robbie and Cat meanwhile don’t look away at all, seem extremely happy to witness this reuinion. Well, Tori and Andre are too.  
Though not as happy as the small family itself.  
Benji’s the first to speak again: “Mommy said you wouldn’t come this early.”  
That’s also the thing that makes Beck’s and Jade’s lips finally break apart again. Jade even draws back a little more but her hand is still in Beck’s neck and his still in her back.  
With his other hand he strokes through Benji’s hair, after the boy now also draws back, both his hands in Beck’s shirt though.  
Beck looks a little gleeful. “I tricked your mommy. I only told Cat that I might make it this early to surprise you two.”  
So Cat knew and kept her mouth shut? Now, she bursts out: “And it was so hard not so say anything. I hope you’re not angry, Benji!”  
Benji looks over to her in all his innocence: “Why should I be?”  
“I am,” Jade dryly cuts through but she barely manages her usual harsh tone.  
Cat pouts. “Please, forgive me!”  
“No,” Jade decides, which makes Cat pout even more.  
While Beck smiles softly at Jade, suddenly saying: “I missed you.”  
She has to smile again and kisses him once more. And she murmurs something that resembles an “I missed you too”.  
“We both missed you so much, Daddy,” Benji knows to report.  
Beck and Jade still kiss for a moment longer but after that, Beck finally takes his hand from Jade to pull Benji in a new full hug, answering: “I did too. I’m so happy to see you again!”  
Only after that, he finally shares greetings with his friends and they all get up, start making breakfast, getting dressed, all the while asking Beck about his experience. He does tell a little but also asks about their evening and what else is going on in each their lives. For the first time, Tori isn’t too sure Beck is listening all that much to their answers whenever one of them gets into it. He seems way to focused on fiancée and son, who keep close to him for the rest of their get-together.


	2. Dropping out

They are twenty and in the middle of their second year of college. Jade of course gets outstanding grades. Beck also does reasonably good, but he thinks he could do much better.  
He doesn’t know at first why he has no energy at all for it. It’s not like he isn’t interested in what he’s learning.  
Then, he gets his first small role in a TV series and he feels so damn good working. He has a few exhausting days but has still so much fun. Unlike at college. Even if he has only one lecture a day, he feels unnerved afterwards.  
And how stupid is it to still go to college if he obviously doesn’t enjoy it, while he enjoys working?  
He knows he still shouldn’t drop out. Everybody wants him to graduate from college. His parents, his grandparents, his friends, but more importantly: Jade. He has to do good for her. For her and for their son.  
So, he keeps at it. It’s three years at best after all and he’s already half way through.  
But then, one and a half years out of high school, he gets a job as a series regular. He got cast for the pilot and the series got picked up. It’s an interesting concept of a series and Beck’s sure it will be successful. Either way: He will work at it for quite a while; they will at least have that one season.  
And working full time as a series regular while going to college? And then having Jade and Benji at home, fiancée and son? When will he ever get to spend time with them? He already had trouble with it while filming the pilot. He fell behind on his lectures.  
He knows he has to make a tough decision. A decision, Jade won’t like.

 

Jade has just come back from one of her lectures. She has to go back again for a late one that evening, but for now, she has some time at home. Beck has the day off, doesn’t take as many classes as she does and also only will start filming for his new series in three weeks.  
Jade’s so immensely proud of him. She herself has had a small spot in a movie, but has otherwise delved a little bit more into writing, instead of acting. She always was interested in writing, but her teachers barely went with it. In college, they do. There’s one teacher that reminds her very much of Sikowitz that somehow gets her writing and manages to inspire her to do better like Sikowitz always did with acting.  
She starts making connections, starts getting to know people in the business. It’s fun and she can imagine a career there, though she guesses she never wants to totally give up on acting. Either way, she learns about both acting and writing a lot and even still takes a singing class, because she also still loves music. And it’s great that she has this opportunity to learn so much.  
For now, she’s glad to have a few hours off though. A few hours off to spend with Beck and Benji. Benji is still in preschool right now, but they will pick him up soon.  
Beck’s meanwhile waiting for her at home at the kitchen table. He’s drinking a coffee and immediately offers her one as well, when she comes inside.  
She takes it, before she goes to the fridge to look inside and check if they (or rather one of them – in this case Beck, as she still has a lecture) should still go grocery shopping today or if they still have enough for at least one more day.  
Then, there’s Beck’s voice though: “Jade, can we talk?”  
Okay, something’s wrong. Maybe, she would’ve noticed it right away if her mind wasn’t still occupied with the lecture she was in, with when they have to pick up Benji, with the need to buy groceries soon and with thinking about how they could spend their time until she has to get out of the house again in the evening.  
Now, she clearly hears it in his voice and it sickens her a little. Nobody asks to talk with that sort of voice and has anything good to say. Nobody asks to talk and has anything good to say at all, she guesses.  
She tries to sound careless as she closes the fridge back up and sits down opposite of Beck: “What about?”  
“You know how I got that job?”  
Why do people always have trouble to get to the point right away? “Obviously.”  
Beck looks down onto his cup of coffee, running one of his fingers over the brim of the cup. “I thought about how much stress it will be with taking care of Benji and college and that job. And I decided to drop out of college.”  
Well, he has come to the point quickly there. Too quickly. Jade wasn’t prepared.  
“What?”  
For some reason, there’s an unnerved tone in Beck’s voice: “I’m earning money with the job while college only costs money. Giving up college will enable me to actually support us. It’s the smart choice.”  
It freezes inside of Jade. Somehow, she has always known that this would happen. Beck would decide to earn money. But what’s with her? If he does this... how can she still justify to herself to go to college?  
She has always felt guilty about the fact that they cost an incredible amount of money for their parents. But it was fine, because Beck did the same thing, they were in on it together. If he starts working now, if he doesn’t need his parents to help out anymore... How can she still have her mother pay for her education while not earning money next to it? How can she justify to herself to still waste all that money if you obviously can be successful in the business without college – which Beck will prove?  
She should work too. She knows it. She has always known it. But she loves her college classes, she wants to get her degree. Why can’t Beck just keep going into the same direction, so it’s okay for her to do it too?  
She feels like she can barely breathe and there’s only one thing she can always do when she feels like this: lash out.  
“How is that smart?”  
Something shifts in Beck’s expression. And he shoots back with anger in his voice: “What else am I supposed to do? I won’t give up the opportunity to do a job like that. How am I supposed to make it work?”  
Jade doesn’t expect him to give up on this job. But if he drops out of college... She knows she should too and she doesn’t want to and...  
“We have always made it work,” she says, not reassuringly, but angry herself, because she has seen this coming and has been scared for it for so long. “You can do all three if you want.”  
Beck looks pissed now. “Well, I don’t. I want to drop out of college.” Without discussing it with her. Though they’re a family. They might not be married yet, but they’re engaged and they have a son together. They are a family. And neither of them can make big life decision without the other because it will effect the other one and their son too. But here’s Beck, just deciding he will drop out of college. Because he’s the man of the family and he can just make decision like this without her.  
An irrational fear pulses through her and promptly, she accuses him: “And then what? You work fulltime and I’m gonna be the stay-at-home mother and wife?”  
Beck looks at her totally bewildered: “Why do you always have to take it in that direction? God, Jade! Can’t you just accept any decision?”  
“Not when it’s a stupid one!” she says and he spits out, without hesitation: “You are always so damn dramatic and difficult!”  
Yes, once more it’s her fault. Once more, she’s the dramatic and difficult one. Difficult, like her father always called her, which Beck god damn knows!  
“Fuck you, Beck!”  
And she leaves the room for their bedroom, slams the door shut and locks it behind her.  
What an ass!  
She throws herself on the bed, thinking about destroying something of Beck’s. She sometimes does that. Never anything he actually values, which is why he’s mostly fine with it, but it helps her let go of her anger.  
She’s still considering, when she hears Beck’s voice at the door, still a little unnerved: “I’m gonna go pick up Benji.”  
“Whatever,” she answers and then listens, how he leaves their apartment.  
Well... He’s a good guy. A good father. While she forgot momentarily that one of them still had to pick up Benji, he of course remembered despite their fight.  
It weirdly calms her down. Him thinking of their son. She’s such a sucker for him being a devoted father to their son.  
She sighs quietly. God, she loves him. And she only loves him because he’s a good person. A good person that would obviously never expect her to stay at home and be his little housewife. He never has expected that of her. He has always made sure she knew that she should go for her dreams, despite becoming a mother so young.  
But since she has become pregnant all those years back, yes, she has been afraid that people would expect her to stay home with her son. And while she doesn’t think there’s anything wrong with people staying home with children... that was never what she wanted. She always has had dreams in another direction. And whenever she and Beck fight and the topic gets even close to a scenerio alike, that irrational part of her starts to lash out. As if Beck suddenly could turn into some kind of macho and would want to take her independence and her dreams away from her.  
The thing is that Beck knows of that fear she has. Sometimes, he gets a little annoyed, but he always knows when she lashes out because of that fear of hers and can usually handle it. He doesn’t get so harsh about it.  
His reactions in general were... weird. He seemed scared himself, when he started the conversation. Why was he scared?  
She should have realized sooner that something was up with him. But she also has felt so guilty going to college, which costs way too much, with their parents having to pay for all of it and for Benji and... for everything. She was too caught up in her own fears and her own guilt that she couldn’t notice Beck being scared as well.  
She guesses she will have to suck it up and actually talk to him about this, though she always hates being the first one to give in.

 

Beck has put his soon to be four year old boy in the backseat behind the passenger’s seat and glances at him through the rearmirror every now and then, as he pulls out of the preschool’s parking lot on the street.  
“How was preschool?” he asks.  
“Fun,” Benji only shortly answers. He has been happy greeting him, now he seems a little... unenthusiastic, which isn’t all too normal for him. He’s always very energetic and talkative – unlike Beck and Jade themselves. That seems to skip a generation sometimes.  
Well, maybe he just needs some more prompting. “It was?”  
“Yeah”, Benji only says, looking into the rear mirror himself, catching Beck’s eye as he shortly glances there again. And then, suddenly: “What’s wrong?”  
Okay, that’s why he suddenly got a little more quiet. He always realizes if something is off about his parents. Beck was totally happy to see his little boy like always, but Jade and their fight of course were still in the back of his mind.  
He considers what to tell his son now. Jade and he both try to not outright lie to him. That doesn’t mean that he needs to know everything, but they want to be open with him. Beck knows he would’ve liked it much better like that with his own parents.  
But before he can say anything, Benji already asks: “Have you and mom fought again?”  
Of course he even knows that. He’s as perceptive as Jade is about those kind of things.  
“I’m sorry, baby,” he says earnestly.  
The boy shrugs. “I don’t care. Though Miss Jennings said fighting’s bad.”  
He sounds honest saying that he doesn’t care. Well, he never is too concerned when they fight.  
Miss Jennings’s Benji’s teacher, a nice woman. “She’s right,” Beck says because though he’s sure Jade and he himself both need not just the bickering but also the fighting in their relationship, Benji should learn that it’s better the other way, that it’s better not to fight. That for most people it’s healthier to not fight so much.  
Benji shrugs once more. “I told her you fight a lot and it’s fine. That’s just who you are.”  
Benji’s such a bright, bright boy. Beck feels an enormous warmth inside of him, hearing his son talk about his parents’ relationship with that simplicity. He doesn’t need to be taught that he shouldn’t fight in his own relationships. He knows the fighting between his parents is something that’s for them and which they do because they are who they are.  
Beck doesn’t even care what Miss Jennings might think about the young parents they are, now also knowing due to Benji that they fight a lot. (Though they bicker more, they rarely have really big fights anymore since they almost broke up about three years ago. But Benji is still young and probably all puts it in the ‘fighting’ category – and still doesn’t worry.)  
“It is, huh?” Beck gently gives back.  
And that’s that for Benji. He apparently only has been more quiet at first because he has wondered why his father seems off. He needed a few seconds to figure it out, needed to ask about it. Now that he knows, he’s fine again, and also promptly changes the topic, starting to tell something that he learned today in preschool: “Oh, do you know...”

 

As soon as they walk into their home, Benji calls out: “I’m back home!”  
Jade also awaits them in the living area. Benji runs up to her as she says: “Hi, baby!”  
She pulls him up into her arms and they hug. Before she can ask how preschool was or anything else, Benji wants to know: “Are you ready to make up?”  
For a second, it’s silent and Jade just looks at Benji. Then, she lets her eyes wander to Beck, who looks back and shrugs slightly to tell her that he didn’t tell Benji on purpose that they fought again.  
“I don’t know,” Jade finally says, gently, looking back at her son while she lets him out of her arms again. “Let’s see.”  
Benji nods and decides: “I’m gonna go play.”  
He runs off to his room, closing the door behind himself.  
Beck looks after him. “He’s too smart for his own good.”  
Then, he looks back to Jade, who also has her eyes on him. She actually seems like she wants to talk again. He doesn’t know if he wants to have this talk though, if he will be able to stand it. He knows what she will say.  
He takes a deep breath, before he walks further into the apartment, past Jade, trying to think of something else to do than to talk, to have an excuse ready as soon as she starts.  
But before he can think of anything, she already says: “I only got so angry because you saying you would drop out of college to work, to support us... it makes me feel like I should work instead too.”  
And that was why she was so harsh. God. He didn’t think of that but of course Jade’s mind went there. They both feel constantly guilty for spending so much of their parents’ money, and have felt guilty ever since Jade got pregnant. And she probably feels like she can’t justify going to college anymore, if he drops out. Especially as his parents have much more money than hers and they are the ones who theoretically wouldn’t have to pay anymore while hers still would have to.  
He turns back around to her and leans against the kitchen table while he honestly answers: “I don’t want you to drop out of college. I don’t, Jade.”  
They look at each other for a minute or so, then he continues: “You always wanted to go and you love it so much. But college never was... my dream or anything. I’m going because that’s what I should do. That’s what my parents and you want me to do. But if I can work as an actor right away and otherwise have time for you and Benji... I would love that.”  
Jade almost seems confused now. She comes a step closer to him. “I don’t want you to go to college. Like... If you want to do something else, I’m with you on that.”  
Does she really mean that? Does she really not care though a good education has always been the most important thing for her?  
With almost just a breath, he asks: “Don’t think of me as stupid now?” A fear so overwhelming and overtaking... He was always scared that Jade would one day notice he wasn’t good enough for her. That he was too boring, too neutral, too... stupid for the amazing and passionate and smart and perfect girl she was. He was always scared that she would start considering him stupid for real some day, which would definitely make her loose all respect and love for him, because she likes smartness.  
Beck can’t read Jade’s look this time and gently he admits: “That’s why I reacted so strongly. I’m so scared that you will think I’m an idiot.”  
For a while, it’s silent and he wishes he could see what Jade was thinking but her face is blank now. Until she finally steps up to him all the way and takes his hands in hers, saying intently: “You are not.”  
Relief floods him.  
“Do you think I could love an idiot? Beck, dropping out of college won’t change the person you are. I know that. And I know that you are smart.”  
It feels amazing to hear that, to hear those words from Jade, so reassuring.  
She continues: “You know what I hate? People who never try to evolve. You know, people who never try to learn more. But I know you are willing to learn. College might not be the right setting for you. Maybe only for now, maybe for forever. But you will always be open to learn new things.”  
She pulls her hands out of his again, but only to put him on his cheeks, taking his face in her hands. “That’s what I want in my boyfriend. And in my soon-to-be husband. That’s who you are, independent on your formal education.”  
He can’t help but smile. How does she always know to say all the right things? How does he deserve her?  
“I love you so much, Jade.”  
She smiles, too, before they kiss. Gently at first, then it grows more passionate with him wrapping his arms around her waist, and her wrapping her arms around his neck, pulling each other closer, their bodies, not only their lips, colliding.  
After their lips break apart again, them looking into each other’s eyes, Beck calls out: “We made up, Benji.”  
“Okay,” the little boy’s voice comes out of his room.  
“Want some food?” Jade asks him, also loud enough for him to hear.  
In an indifferent tone, he answers: “I’m playing.”  
Well, he probably still should eat something soon. They should get to cooking to then have time to eat, all together, and then to play, before Jade has to get back to college for her other lecture for the day. But if their son isn’t too hungry right now, they’ll have a little time. Just a few minutes to enjoy each other.  
With a smile, they get lost in another kiss.

 

Of course, they have to talk about it to their parents. Beck knows his parents won’t be impressed. Only Jade’s opinion matters to him in the end, but he still also doesn’t want to disappoint his parents. This will disappoint them. Their only son dropping out of college.  
He hates disappointing people, but well, he has to tell them.  
Sometimes, Beck and Jade invite their parents (or rather Beck’s parents and Jade’s mother and her brother) over for the same time for a meal or alike. They never meet up on their own, but Beck and Jade have realized by now that they have come to like each other over the years. With having to talk about how to handle the early pregnancy and the newborn child, being in constant contact over the money of it all and then spending Christmas and Benji’s birthdays together, they of course have gotten to know each other and have gotten used to each other. They also are family in a way.  
They’re coming again this Saturday for dinner. Beck wants to tell his parents there. Maybe, it’s good when Jade’s mother and her brother will be there too, so his parents won’t freak out too much. Not to mention, that this way they obviously can talk about money right away again. He would like to pay for all the living expenses of his little family from now on, when he doesn’t go to college anymore but is working. But it’s seems dumb if his parents don’t pay anything anymore then while Jade’s parents still have to pay for her college education – as her parents also don’t have as much money as his do. He doesn’t know how Jade will feel about it but he does think their parents should split the money for her tuition.  
Either way: Jade’s parents don’t have to pay for Jade’s living costs and half of Benji’s anymore and her mother should get to know that right away. She can talk to Jade’s father about it. Beck doesn’t care at all about him. Jade visits him and his wife regularly with Benji; Beck doesn’t see him too much and also doesn’t want to see him all that much because he has never been a good father to Jade and he can’t help but hate him for it.  
Jade and Beck have made a nice dinner. Jade had to cook at her mother’s too sometimes, all the way back, even before her pregnancy, when she was home alone after school – or with Jasper. Her mother often prepared something to warm up, but she quickly figured all of it out herself, started with easy dishes and is doing fine. Beck, who never had to cook before, at his parents’ house, also learned it fast enough though and actually even enjoys it. At least making meals like this, a little bigger. The small, every day meal gets kind of redundant, because you can’t go all out each day if you also have to go to college or work and don’t only want to cook and eat with your child in your time off.  
Benji also enjoys to help though and did for this dinner as he always does.  
Now, they’re all sitting together, talking and eating. Beck remembers too well how they told Jade’s grandparents from her mother’s side that she was pregnant while eating, how they all stopped and nobody was hungry anymore after all the comments made. He doesn’t want something alike to happen now, so he waits until they are all pretty much done, but before they get the idea to clean up and then to move over to the couch to be more comfortable.  
He turns to his parents: “I need to tell you something.”  
He gets not just his parents’ attention with that but everyone else’s too. He takes a deep breath but Jade interrupts him, before he can say anything more, adressing Benji: “Why don’t you take your uncle to play something with you in your room?”  
Okay, maybe it’s smart to not have Benji or Jasper there. Jasper is also only eleven years old by now and doesn’t need to witness this.  
Benji jumps up, more than willing to play and not too suspicious about being send out – he knows that his parents sometimes need to talk on their own, also with his grandparents, and he doesn’t care much.  
“Come on, Jasper,” he say and then is already gone for his room.  
Jasper stands up as well, looking to Jade though. And promptly, he makes a gesture with his hand over his own body, implying a pregnant belly.  
It’s a question and Jade rolls her eyes slightly as she shakes her head. As if Beck and Jade could only want to talk alone to their parents because Jade ‘s pregnant again.  
Their parents of course saw too (Jasper can have only done it instead of outright asking for Benji’s benefit, so he wouldn’t think for even one second that he would get a sibling if he didn’t). They seem relieved when they notice Jade shaking her head.  
Now, they wait for Jasper to finally follow Benji and then close the door of the boy’s room behind him, then Beck’s mother asks: “What’s going on?”  
Beck takes another deep breath as he directs his look to his parents, who look straight back. “I’m dropping out of college.”  
It’s silent. Maybe, time has stopped. Until his mother defiantely says: “You are not.”  
“You can’t be serious,” his father adds but without a doubt he knows that Beck isn’t joking.  
Caitlyn, Jade’s mother, must feel uncomfortable by the sudden change of mood and must feel like this isn’t anything of her business, at least she slowly raises from her chair. “Maybe, I should look after the boys.”  
“No, please, stay,” Beck hurries to say which does make her sit down again, though just as slowly as she stood up before. “We have to talk about money again.”  
“We don’t because you are not dropping out,” his mother says, crossing her arms in front of her chest.  
His father also won’t accept it. “It’s not because of that new job of yours, is it? If you feel like you can’t do both, drop that job.”  
Of course, he’s supposed to drop the job, though it’s everything he wants to do, he loves. “I want to do the job.”  
“Then try both,” his mother says in a careless tone. “You won’t have to film all year, do you?”  
He won’t have to. But he doesn’t want to go to college and it’s easy to drop out now, when he has a good job.  
But he feels speechless. He doesn’t know how to say any of that. He has always had trouble talking to his parents about what he really wants and needs.  
As always when he doesn’t know what to say, Jade easily takes over though, in total simplicity: “He isn’t happy at college.”  
Beck would’ve tried explaining it more if he felt able to. But for some reason, those words make his parents stop and think for a moment. They understand what it’s about without much more explanation.  
After a moment of silence, he still gently says: “I went because I thought that I was supposed to.”  
“You are supposed to,” his mother replies, but it doesn’t sound strict or dominant this time, more like a wish she makes.  
“But it’s not who I am,” he says.  
And again, Jade has something to add: “This doesn’t mean he will absolutely never go back. Maybe, he will notice some day that he wants to have a degree after all. He can still get it then.”  
They talked about it the night after he told her of his decision, when she was back from her last lecture for the day and Benji was in bed. They talked about what would happen if he wouldn’t find another job after the one he now has, how they would handle it if he would decide that he wants to go back to college after all, about how he should feel free to admit that he made a mistake if he ever thinks he wants to go back to college after all.  
“It won’t get easier,” Beck’s father says.  
They know what he means because they also talked about that. About the fact that it will be hard to go back to asking their parents for financial support again when they already haven’t gotten any, which might be necessary if Beck wants to go back to college in a year, when Jade isn’t already working. About the fact that they do want to have more than one child and as soon as they have a second, money will be tighter and it will be even more necessary that they earn money on their own – and Beck might feel even less able to ever go back to college, even if Jade already earns money on her own and can support the family.  
“We know that,” Beck says and Jade adds with a smirk: “But we never went for easy.”  
Light smiles go around the table, before Beck’s mother sighs. “God.”  
“I’m sorry,” Beck says because he is. He knows that his parents wanted him to get a college degree.  
“Are you going to finish up this semester?” Beck’s father asks.  
Beck shrugs. “I don’t think so.”  
“Okay,” his father says, turning to Jade’s mother. “You have to let us pay half of Jade’s tuition.”  
Jade’s mother looks at him in confusion. “What?”  
Meanwhile, Beck shares a relieved look with Jade. His parents will need more time to accept it, he knows, but they seem ready to try. They apparently won’t argue any more about it. Which means that he got off extremely easy.  
And he’s glad that his father is immediately thinking about the money of it all and offers Jade’s mother to split the cost on Jade’s tuition.  
His mother nods as well: “That’s true. We want to support the part of the family who’s making the smart choices.”  
She looks at Beck strictly, but he doesn’t care. He’s only glad that she thinks along the same lines and also wants to support Jade then.  
But Jade’s mother replies: “Her father and I can manage.”  
“We know,” Beck’s father simply answers. “We have no doubt about it. But please, we have the money ready for Beck. Let us spend it on Jade then instead. If Beck ever decides to go back to college, we can also split those costs if they can’t pay it on their own.”  
Beck knows that it will be hard for Jade’s mother to accept this, but she looks over to Jade, who looks back openly, and he’s pretty sure that Jade is telling her silently that it’s okay for Beck’s parents to help out, that she also knows that her mother doesn’t need help, that they all know that, but that it’s fine for her mother to keep money for herself, to save it up for Jasper or for an own vacation or alike.  
He’s sure there will be more talks about all of this, but for that to include everything, he still adds: “If we’re already on the topic of money... We did the math and neither of you have to pay for anything else than college costs from now on. At least as long as I have a job. I can pay for our living costs and the rent for the apartment with what I earn.”  
All three of their parents exchange glances, before Beck’s mother asks: “Are you sure?”  
“Yeah,” Beck answers and Jade assures: “We will ask for money again if and when we need it, obviously. So if Beck’s show doesn’t get picked up after the year and he won’t get cast anywhere else or whatever, we’ll talk to you about it.”  
Their parents need to hear that as they could otherwise worry that Beck and Jade could be too stubborn and proud to directly ask for help in such a big way again. It never has been easy for them to outright ask them for something and they have always hated to take and take and take. But with having Benji so young, they had to learn to ask for help.

 

Their parents are gone, as is Jasper.  
Jade has started bringing Benji to bed while Beck cleans up behind everyone.  
He now also walks into the boy’s room to at least still kiss him good night but maybe to also read him a story or sing him a song or alike, depending on how far Jade already is with tucking him in and what he wants tonight.  
He’s in the room with the two of them not noticing him yet when he just catches Benji say: “What did you have to talk to your parents about?”  
Oh, of course he noticed they needed to talk to their parents alone and send him and Jasper away for that.  
“We told them that your dad isn’t going to college anymore,” Jade simply answers. Obviously, they’ll answer that one truthfully. Benji also knows what they do to a day to day basis and should know that Beck isn’t a college student anymore.  
“Why isn’t he?” Benji questions.  
Beck isn’t interrupting. He does want to hear Jade answering that one.  
And she does, her voice as earnest and yet as soft as she so often talks to Benji and Benji alone: “Because he got an amazing opportunity with the spot in the show he got. And he otherwise wants to have time for us.”  
“I like that,” Benji promptly says. “Does he have time to take me to Disneyland?”  
That makes Jade laugh. They took him for the first time like... three months ago and he loved it and told them he wants to go again. They said that they might go once a year. It’s close by but quite expensive and they do need money to live.  
With a grin, Beck finally walks up to the bed in which Benji is already lying, Jade sitting on his bedside, turned to him. “I might have enough time but not enough money to just take you there.”  
Neither Benji nor Jade are surprised by the interruption.  
Benji scrunches up his face. “Too bad.”  
“But we can do other things. You, me and your mom,” Beck promises.  
“Like what?” Benji wants to know.  
Beck share a look with Jade who tilts her head and cocks an eyebrow with a smile. It’s almost like she’s teasingly asking: “Yeah, like what?” As if he wasn’t able to come up with something on the spot his son would love to do.  
He suggests: “How about we go to Venice beach tomorrow?”  
Immediately, Benji beams. “How about we go there every Sunday?”  
Beck chuckles. “You would get so bored.”  
After all, the beach isn’t that interesting. Of course, they’d spent time together, so they would have fun, but they could have just as much fun at home mostly. And both Jade and Benji aren’t too into the sand at the beach, don’t like how it gets everywhere after you lie down in it. Though Benji still forgets about it all the time, forgets how much he complains afterwards about the sand, and always is happy when they go to the beach. He won’t forget within a week.  
In any way... They could only swim in the ocean (which Jade doesn’t like too much) and build stuff in the sand. And of course visit the shops and watch the street performers nearby but that becomes boring quick.  
“I don’t think so,” the boy now claims and Jade dryly says: “I’m bored just thinking about it.”  
Benji sighs. “Oh, Mom.”  
Jade smirks. “What, huh?” And promptly, she starts to tickle Benji.  
He begins to screech and laugh, while trying to defend himself. And then: “Help. Help! Dad!”  
Yes, Beck has to help him. Without waiting a second longer, he himself starts to tickle Jade and through it manages to get her to stop tickling their son. Instead, she falls down on the bed next to him, also trying to defend herself. But it’s of no use, especially as now, Benji starts to tickle her too.  
“No! That’s unfair! You can’t both go against me. I’ll call the police!”  
Beck stops with a laugh and then, Jade can finally grab Benji and stop him too. She takes an exhausted breath, as does Benji, both with grins though.  
Beck can’t help but lean over and kiss Benji’s cheek and then Jade’s, only for Jade to pull him into a gentle and smiling kiss.


	3. Wedding and The truth

Cat’s gone to dress Benji.  
They all met in the hotel where they will hold the reception and where everyone coming into the town for the wedding is staying the night (which is pretty much Beck’s extended family and noone else). They decided that it’s the easiest for both Beck and Jade to get ready there. They don’t have enough room in their apartment for all the commotion before the wedding. Especially as they wanted to do this thing of not seeing each other right before the ceremony, especially Beck not seeing Jade in her dress.  
Of course, it would’ve been possible for one of them getting ready there (with their friends coming and everything) and the other one going to one of their friends’ houses to get dressed, but there was also their four year old son Benji and they both kind of wanted to see him before the ceremony, so they didn’t want to be too far apart. That’s why they decided on different rooms in the hotel.  
Jade’s about to get her makeup slightly corrected. They have people there to take care of all their hair and makeup. Cat, Tori, Jade’s mother and Benji have been in the room with her, all the women getting ready. Beck’s mother has also been with them shortly, but had gotten ready herself at home and is now taking care of her family.  
Right before Jade put on her dress, Cat left with Benji to finally get him dressed too. It’s not like he was in his pajamas before (or even naked). He wore some of his usual clothes. But not his clothes for the wedding, in which Cat dresses him now.  
She, Jade’s mother and Tori are already done otherwise, have hair and makeup done and wear their dresses.  
Jade now checks everything out in the full body mirror, and seeing the whole picture, explains slight changes to the woman having done her makeup. They’ve also done it before, so Jade could make sure that woman knew what to do, but hasn’t seen it in combination with her done hair and the dress before.  
They still have time, so she tells the woman what to change. It’s just before she wants to sit down that Cat comes back with Benji.  
The little boy is now wearing the suit that Cat made him herself. It fits perfectly and he looks way too cute.  
“I’m back,” he says as he walks in and Jade turns to him and the softest smile grows in her face: “Aren’t you looking handsome?”  
She picks him up and sits him down on top of the table, looking him up and down.  
He smiles proudly as she does so, without a doubt liking how happy his mother is.  
Cat meanwhile watches Jade in total awe and suddenly gushes: “You are so pretty!”  
She has seen her in her wedding dress before. Tori and Cat were both with Jade as she picked it out. But Tori also finds it very different thing with hair and makeup as well and knowing that Jade will get married like this in just a little time.  
Jade strokes through her son’s hair, while she turns to Cat, cocking an eyebrow. “That’s a surprise?”  
Ouch. Yeah, okay, you can’t tell Jade that she’s pretty because she takes that as saying she isn’t otherwise. Though... Wait. Tori’s sure she also thinks of Benji as handsome too, at all times. Well, handsome... At least as cute and everything. Still, she told him specifically that he’s looking handsome right now.  
Tori has to say something about it: “You just complimented Benji in the same way.”  
That makes Jade glare at her and tell her dryly: “You suck.” She doesn’t care about that kind of double-standard. Of course, she doesn’t.  
Tori raises her hands in surrender. Today, she won’t fight Jade at all. It’s her wedding day.  
Jade seems satisfied by Tori’s reaction and goes back to her chair to sit down there to get her makeup corrected.  
Her mother meanwhile steps in front of Benji, asking him: “Are you excited for your parents to get married?”  
The boy nods earnestly. “Yeah. It will be beautiful.”  
That’s what has been said around him constantly since his parents started to plan the wedding. By his grandparents of both sides, by his parents’ friends and quietly between soft kisses by his parents.  
“It will be,” Jade’s mother says and drops a kiss on his hair.  
Jade glances to them, as she asks her son: “How about you go check on your dad while we’re getting ready?”  
He’s supposed to go to the ceremony with Beck and the others and Jade guesses they could get going soon. There won’t be many guests for the ceremony itself, just their closest friends and their immediate families, including their grandparents though. And their grandparents will probably be there soon and Beck could already greet them.  
Not to mention that it won’t take long anymore for Jade to get ready too and for all of it to start.  
“Okay,” Benji says and has his grandmother put him from the table on the floor again.  
“Should I take him?” Tori asks, as Cat already has left to dress Benji and should get some time with Jade before the ceremony, and because Jade’s mother certainly doesn’t look ready to leave Jade’s side so close to the ceremony.  
“Yeah,” Jade says, before concentrating fully on the woman doing her makeup again.

Tori and Benji walk to the room, in which Beck gets ready. Tori knocks on the door, before Benji can just burst in. After all, someone could be in their underwear.  
But Beck calls for her to come inside and there she finds him, Robbie and Andre, all in their suits. Tori knows that Beck’s father’s taking care of the guests with Beck’s mother. While Beck obviously also wouldn’t have wanted Jade’s father here – he will lead her down the aisle though and has also already checked in with Jade, when the women started getting ready.  
“Hi,” Tori greets, hasn’t seen any of them yet today. “Just wanted to bring by another little man.”  
“Oh, hey, Benji,” Andre says to the boy. “Looking great.”  
Benji smiles at Andre proudly, like he smiled at his mother before. Beck’s the one who squats down and makes a gesture for Benji to come to him, as he says: “Hey, little baby. Is everything going okay with your mommy?”  
“She’s very happy,” Benji knows to report.  
Beck takes him in his arms and stands up, lifting him up as well. “I’m too.”  
“I know,” Benji says easily.  
Beck strokes with his hand through the boy’s hair before he turns toTori: “Is everything going okay?”  
“Yeah,” she answers. “Here as well?”  
“Yeah,” Beck replies and Tori nods: “Good. See you then.”  
She leaves, leaving the boys alone.  
Now, it’s finally Robbie’s turn to talk to the young boy, still sitting in Beck’s arms: “Did Cat make you a cute little suit?”  
“Uhu,” Benji answers, looking down on himself, playing with the button of his suit jacket. “Mom said I look handsome.”  
“You do. Very much,” Robbie confirms while Beck kisses his son’s temple with a soft smile.

They invited surprisingly many people to the party in the hotel after the ceremony, considering they wanted to keep it small. But of course, their group of friends from school is there, three college friends they made, their parents, including Jade’s stepmother, her brother, their grandparents, all of Beck’s cousins and aunts and uncles. They also invited Sikowitz and Lane with each their girlfriends. And Benji’s best friend Ricky, who’s a bit older than Benji, and his mother Juliett, who has become sort of a friend to Beck and Jade.  
They have a great time, also with lots of singing. By now, it has gotten late. Juliett has already gone home with Ricky, when Beck stands with a few cousins of his and Tori (who flirts with one of his cousins) and talks. He’s taking a look around the room as one of his cousins tells a story and finds Jade and Benji with his eyes.  
Jade, in her beautiful dress, sits on one of the chairs, Benji in her lap. The boy, like all the men, doesn’t wear the jacket anymore. And now, he has curled up in his mother’s lap and in her arms and seem to have fallen asleep.  
Well, it’s already way past his bedtime but after they talked to him and he begged for it, they allowed him to stay up as long as he can handle. He doesn’t have to be up early tomorrow and it is his parents getting married, so they thought it’d be fine. But as soon as he’s too sleepy, someone’s supposed to get him to bed and stay with him. They talked to their parents and their friends about it and they all agreed that someone probably will also feel ready to go to bed, when the boy decides he needs to sleep too. Someone will leave the party with him and take him home with them.  
Obviously, he won’t sleep in Beck and Jade’s room tonight (they have a hotel room for the night, because it’s easier for them), as it’s their wedding night.  
Anyway... Beck leaves the conversation he’s in, without saying a word. It’s his day; he doesn’t have to apologize about going to his gorgeous bride.  
That’s what he does: He walks over to wife and son.  
“My two favorite people in the world,” he says when he’s close enough for Jade to hear him.  
Jade looks up, has looked down on their son before. He truly is asleep. She now takes an arm away from holding him to reach out for Beck instead, easily pulling him into a kiss, for which he leans down.  
He remains leaning down afterwards, Jade’s hand in his neck, their foreheads touching.  
“Say you love me,” she whispers.  
“I love you like crazy,” he says. “And I’m so happy to be your husband. To have you as my wife.”  
They kiss again, slowly and for a long time. Only after that, Jade lets go of him. Beck still remains close when Jade says: “Go ask around, who’ll take our baby to bed.”  
Bed sounds good. Not just for Benji.  
Beck kisses Jade again, before he says: “Mh. I hope we can go to bed soon too.”  
Jade smirks, of course knows what he means and seems to feel the same. After such a long day of celebrating their love and their family with all these people, they both long to finally be alone, to finally celebrate their love, just the two of them. Finally married, finally having said that unconditional I do to each other.

o  
O  
o

Benji’s still four years old when Beck and Jade have a talk with him they might’ve not wanted to have this early with him. Both know that it’s all easier for children and that they rarely have a problem with things they grow up to know as a natural part of their life, which is why they both want to be as honest to him as possible. Also about the fact that they never planned to have him.  
They have played a board game with him, Benji sitting between his parents on the couch, now they are leaning back and Beck knows Jade hopes Benji won’t ask to play another round. Of course, she would play again, but she hates board games. Beck can’t blame her. He also isn’t in love with them. But for their son...  
Benji isn’t about to ask them for another round. He runs with two of his fingers over his mother’s leg and knee as if they were legs of a tiny human being walking, and seems in thought.  
Beck and Jade exchange a look. It’s late already. Maybe, they could put Benji to bed soon and still have a few minutes for just the two of them until they are too exhausted from the long day themselves and also need to go to bed.  
Silently, they decide together to try it with Benji, to try gently starting his bed time ritual.  
Then, Benji suddenly asks, watching his own fingers on his mother’s leg: “Do you love me?”  
A weird question for a four year old but Beck isn’t immediately concerned. Quite the opposite. After all, Benji is Jade’s son and hears her talk to Beck all the time. And sure enough, Jade usually demands from Beck to tell her he loves her. But sometimes, this question is easy to hear in the demand, too insecure for the great person Jade is.  
Beck’s sure their son must’ve picked the question up from his mother and therefore, easily answers, running his hand through his son’s hair: “You know we do.”  
“Did you want me?”  
Beck’s sure he must have misunderstood but when Jade’s and his eyes meet once more, he notices he hasn’t.  
“What do you mean?” Jade asks, touching the little boy’s arm.  
Finally, he looks up. “Jenny said you didn’t want me.”  
“What?” Beck asks. He can’t believe what he’s hearing. Jenny is another kid in Benji’s preschool. Why would a kid tell another that?  
She must’ve heard it somewhere. And there’s only one place where she could have. Benji confirms Beck thoughts: “Her sister told her that. That’s why you’re so young you could be my siblings.”  
Jenny’s older sister was in Beck and Jade’s year at Hollywood Arts. Beck knows that Jade always hated her because apparently that girl tried to flirt with Beck a lot. Suddenly, Beck hates her too.  
After all, he can barely imagine this topic coming up at random, little Jenny asking her big sister about Beck and Jade’s age, because maybe she wouldn’t even have noticed herself. And even if she did... why would that stupid girl ever say that Beck and Jade didn’t want Benji?  
“What a stupid little...” Jade also starts, undoubtedly not meaning Jenny, because it’s not the kid’s fault.  
She rises as she says so, which makes Benji’s hand drop from her leg to his own.  
And okay, no. Jade can’t insult anyone right now, because this is about Benji and they have to take care of him. That’s why Beck gently cuts in, before Jade’s can get a real good insult out: “Jade.”  
Jade presses her lips together as their eyes meet, and drops back on the couch with a hard face.  
He meanwhile turns back to Benji and asks gently: “You do know we love you, yes?”  
“Uhu,” Benji answers and Beck’s glad that the boy knows that despite the question about his parents wanting him.  
Well... Beck looks to Jade again, she looks back. And they have to say the truth, right?  
He takes a deep breath, rubs over Benji’s back, before he says: “You know, some moms and dads sit down and talk about having a child before they have it. They plan it. We didn’t.”  
“That doesn’t mean we didn’t want you,” Jade puts in with a rough voice. Which is true. If they wouldn’t have wanted him he wouldn’t be here. They could’ve aborted him or given him up for adoption. But he’ll figure that out himself when he’s old enough.  
Beck does want to explain, where Jenny was coming from though: “We are really young though and were even younger when we had you. So it’s not like we were immediately thrilled to have you. We are thrilled now.”  
Both of them don’t want to imagine their life without him. Next to each other, he’s the love of both their lives.  
Benji tilts his head. “When did it change?”  
Jade starts to answer before Beck can even start to think about a possible reply: “You know how babies grow in their mom’s bellies?” Benji nods. He has learned that last year when his teacher got pregnant and he asked his parents about it. “A doctor has special equipment to see the baby in there. You were just starting to form into a human being, were only a few weeks inside, when we saw you for the first time. That was the moment your daddy fell in love with you.”  
Beck wondered where Jade was going with this. And how can she be so... incredibly tuned in on Beck? How can she be such a wonderful woman?  
She must remember that moment like it was yesterday. He certainly does. How they were at the doctor’s office and saw Benji for the first time through the ultrasound. How they saw his little heart beating. Yes, Beck knew in that moment that he didn’t want Jade to abort that little baby inside of her. His little baby. Because Jade’s right: He fell in love with him that second. Not necessarily with the person Benji is today, because they didn’t know how he would turn out. But with the baby that could be. With the product out of Jade’s and his love.  
Benji seems to like that, smiles at his father and then curiously looks back to his mother: “What about you?”  
Jade shrugs slightly, looks into his eyes and she runs her fingers through his hair again. “You kind of wormed your way into my heart troughout the early pregnancy.”  
That isn’t really the truth. Beck remembers how he wasn’t able to read Jade’s thoughts back then, how he didn’t know what her decision about the baby would be. He remembers seeing how worried she was, how scared she was. He remembers the look in her eyes, full of fear about her future.  
But there’s a reason she decided positive after all. Despite her fear and worry, despite being scared about how her life would go after that decision.  
Gently, he says: “She loved you right away.”  
She meets his eyes and obviously doubts his answer. He smiles, as he continues talking to his son: “But you know how your mommy has trouble being true about her feelings. Even to herself.”  
That actually makes Jade smirk, but she still has to insult him: “Idiot.”  
Beck looks back to Benji, grinning and making sure: “Do you feel better now?”  
“Uhu,” the boy answers and promptly tries to wrap each of his arms around both his parents, which of course doesn’t work at all. But Beck and Jade both scoot closer and get him into a hug between them.  
Benji will never care about it. About the fact that he wasn’t planned. He doesn’t have to because he knows his parents love him anyway, as does the rest of the family. And with his parents being this honest with him, he never gets to the point of doing the math himself, realizing that his parents are way too young for it to be likely that they planned him and having to worry then how he even came to be and how his parents felt about having him, wondering if they lie about loving him if they lied about wanting to have him before.  
Right now, his mind is eased in any way, because his parents’ words made sense for him somehow.  
They all hug for a while and into the hug, Benji yawns.  
Beck and Jade share a look, breaking apart, smiling. Perfect timing for that yawn.  
“Looks like it’s time for bed,” Beck says, running his hand through his son’s hair.  
The boy sighs. “I guess.”


	4. Second child

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome back, you lovely people!  
> This chapter now starts after the epilogue of Their son. If you didn’t read it or don’t remember, I hope that the first sentence of this chapter sums it up well enough. xD  
> Enjoy the read!

They made the decision about having a second child in December, in front of their friends they still have from school, prompted by the six-year-old Benji who asked them when he will finally get the sibling they always talked about giving him some day.  
Now, it’s already the beginning of June, Benji having turned seven by now, Beck and Jade both 23 years old.  
Jade has stopped taking the pill from their decision on and they also haven’t used a condom anymore since the beginning of the year. But Jade’s body of course needs to recover from the pill. And she has a stressful time, writing her master thesis for college. Which means that her period isn’t on time anyway.  
As they also don’t pressure themselves about having that second child, she hasn’t thought too much about it. There’s also enough else going on in her life, with college and Benji and then still keeping in contact with her friends and of course having some nice time with Beck in between.  
Over the last few days, she has felt a little nauseous in the mornings. She also hasn’t thought too much about that, until she suddenly does today. And before picking up Benji from school, she gets a pregnancy test.

It’s late that same day. Beck’s home by now, they’ve all eaten dinner and Benji’s in bed.  
Jade and Beck are sitting on the couch, having a quiet end of the day. There, Jade suddenly demands: “Give me a massage.”  
She turns her back to him and he doesn’t hesitate and promptly puts his hands on her shoulder, starting to massage her the way she likes it best. He has done that so often before, loves doing it.  
“Sure,” he says. “Are you stressed out?”  
She has already talked about how she only slowly progessed on her thesis today. She’s in sort of a slump. He’s sure she will be over it soon.  
“Uhu,” she answers and makes a satisfied noise when he manages to move his hands just the right way. Then: “You will have to massage me much more over the next few months.”  
“I’d love to,” he honestly says, leaning down, dropping a kiss in her neck.  
He hasn’t done it often enough lately, he realizes. Sure, her saying he will have to do it much more over the next few months is a little weird. Her thesis should be done soon, won’t need a few more months. But... The stress won’t stop after that. There’s always something going on.  
Jade easily replies: “You should. It’s your baby that will make my back ache like crazy.”  
“My...” he starts, confused before his mind even realizes what she says. Then, it hits him. He stops massaging her and instead turns her around to him. “Are you pregnant?”  
Her only answer is a grin and he can’t help but grin back. It’s so different than the last time she shared these news. He felt like dropping into a hole the last time. This time, he feels deep and warm happiness.  
He charges forward, kisses her, before he asks, scolding amused: “Did you really just tell me you’re pregnant this way?” Casually mentioning a baby?  
Her hand lies in his neck by now and she looks at him with that smile that tells him every time that he must be the best person in the world to deserve to be looked at this way. And still, she speaks in that almost harsh tone of voice: “Should I have done something totally cheesy, like giving you a present with baby shoes? As if I should be the one giving you presents now.”  
He pushes a strand of hair out of her face as he says honestly: “You are giving me the greatest one.” Anotherbaby.  
“Cheesy,” she says and yes, that was cheesy, but she loves it, he knows.  
They kiss again, this time long and slow.  
Only then, Beck lies one of his hands on her stomach and asks: “Wow. How far along are you?”  
“I’m not sure,” she answers. “I made a doctor’s appointment for Monday the week after next.”  
Which means they still have to wait for one and a half weeks but... well, it won’t run away.  
“Can I come?” he makes sure. He wants to be there as they will be able to see their second child for the first time. He was there for Benji’s first ultrasound (and every one after that), all those years back, and he can’t imagine Jade being more private about it this time. She had every reason to not want him at her doctor’s with him back then, as they also weren’t all that long together that time. But now?  
He still wants to ask, doesn’t want to assume he can just go to Jade’s doctor’s appointments. Though it’s the moment he asks that he realizes he has a day off on Monday the week after next, unlike every other work day until then. It’s quite possible that Jade has already thought of his schedule before making this appointment.  
“Sure,” Jade says and pulls him into another soft kiss.  
“Did you tell Benji already?” Beck asks.  
“No,” Jade answers. “You had to be the first to know. And I thought, maybe we should wait until after that appointment, so we know for sure.”  
He nods. “Yeah, I like that.” Because it makes sense to know for sure before getting Benji excited. Though he assumes Jade made a pregnancy test and those are pretty accurate. Not to mention that she obviously is quite sure she’s truly pregnant; otherwise she would’ve lead with her doubts.  
“God,” he adds, turning to Jade’s belly, his hand still on top of it: “Hey, there. Have you heard my voice before? I’m your daddy.”  
The baby might’ve heard already. Beck and Jade have read up, when she was pregnant with Benji, how big the baby would be at which time and what part of his body would grow when. He remembers that most of it grows quite early.  
He looks back up her eyes and notices that she has listened to him with a gentle smile.  
“We’ll have another child,” she now whispers and he has to kiss her again.

 

Jade’s gynacologist, who’s still the same from years ago, still the first she ever went to and who cared for her through her first pregnancy is happy this time around, when Jade tells him with a smile that they think she’s pregnant.  
Promptly, Jade lies down and an ultrasound is getting made. He needs a while to get a good picture, then he turns the monitor for Beck and Jade to see: “Yes, there it is. Congratulations.”  
Beck takes Jade’s hand in his, with the gentlest smile. “And there’s the heart.”  
Jade can see it, too, beating inside that little thing that’s their second child.

They can’t wait to finally share the news with Benji. When the boy’s home, they sit down with him on the couch, before looking for food.  
“Can you keep a secret?” Jade asks him.  
He narrows his eyes on his mother. “Uhu,” he answers slowly and probably already has a million ideas with what kind of secret his parents could entrust him.  
Jade doesn’t beat around the bush: “I’m pregnant.”  
Now, Benji’s eyes widen. He looks from Jade to Beck, who sits on his other side, and back to Jade again. “I’m gonna have a sibling?”  
Jade only needs to nod, promptly he grins brightly and hugs her. “Awesome!”  
He also hugs Beck afterwards, while Jade takes the sonogram that they placed on the table upside down. When Benji breaks apart from Beck, Jade shows him the picture: “This is it.”  
Benji leans forward with a furrowed brow: “Where?”  
“This thing here,” Jade points out.  
Benji tilts his head and narrows his eyes as if he’s trying hard to decipher the picture. Then: “I don’t see a baby.”  
Jade smirks. She can totally see it but the new baby hasn’t shown itself as well as Benji for his first sonogram. No, it doesn’t look like a human being all that obvious. “Well, it’s not the best picture. And it isn’t a whole baby yet.”  
“It’ll still grow for many months,” Beck explains. “It’s due in January.”  
“So, no Christmas with the new baby?” Benji checks.  
Jade answers: “I bet it’ll celebrate in my belly.” Benji obviously likes that thought.

June slowly draws to a close and Beck and Jade invited their parents like they sometimes do. They don’t often invite Jade’s father and his wife as well. But that also happens, especially when Jade and Benji haven’t had much time to visit them for the weeks before a family dinner like this one. Then, they’ll tell them they can come by as well to also see them.  
This time isn’t one of those. They would have enough time to visit them otherwise, but they still invite them to the dinner. This way, all of their parents get to know about the pregnancy at the same time.  
If they don’t know already, which Jade checks with Benji a few days earlier: “Have you let my pregnancy spill?”  
She asks it quite harshly, almost posing it as an accusation. Not to mention that it comes out of the blue. Yes, Beck and Jade have talked about telling Benji that they’ll tell their parents about the pregnancy this Saturday and that that’s the reason they invited them. But not even Beck expected that right now, while Benji’s looking what he’s got for homework, Jade sitting at the table next to him working on some script idea she had and Beck preparing food for later.  
They weren’t talking about it at all just now, but Jade obviously must’ve been thinking about it.  
Beck’s close to telling Benji that they don’t blame him if he already told one of their parents – though he also guesses they would know anyway. Their parents couldn’t have kept it a secret as soon as they knew. Well... his parents couldn’t have. Hers might. So, she’ll want to know if they know already. And Benji’s the only one who could’ve told, as he also has seen her mother, her brother and both of Beck’s parents since he knows.  
Benji furrows his brow but answers completely calmly: “No.” He doesn’t care about his mother’s harsh voice and always knows how to take it. Well, Jade is his mother after all. Beck loves it somehow.  
“Good,” Jade says. “We wanna tell your grandparents on Saturday.”  
Benji’s eyes light up happily: “Can I?”  
Beck and Jade share a look. Beck doesn’t see where the harm in that would be. Why shouldn’t he tell everyone, as long as it’s at a time, they want him to?  
Jade also doesn’t have a problem with it and understands the look in Beck’s eyes the right way: She answers Benji with a shrug: “Sure.”  
Benji smiles brightly, looking between both his parents now, positively excited. “Can I make a game out of it? Have them guess?”  
Jade’s amused at that, as is Beck, who answers: “If you want to.” Why shouldn’t he make them guess?  
“What can I say for them to guess?” Benji wants to know.  
Jade promptly reaches over to shove her hand against his head. “We don’t know.” Obviously, he has to think of something on his own if he wants to do this in a special way. Yes, they can help him if he has a certain idea, but like this?  
Benji turns to his schoolwork with a thoughtful look. Beck and Jade share another look, now both smiling gently. Well, he’s going to think of something.  
Each of them also turn back to their things, when Benji suddenly asks: “They’ll be happy about the news, right?”  
“They will be,” Beck confirms, not thinking much about the question.  
Until Benji adds: “Were they when you told them about me?”  
Beck just looks at Benji for a moment. How can he ask a question like that? How can Beck not answer in a lie when the truth sounds so terrible? He can’t say that Benji’s grandparents will be happy about the new child but weren’t about him, right?  
Beck helplessly looks over to Jade, who seems speechless as well, which she never is. She certainly won’t lie though.  
Benji raises his voice again, when neither of his parents say anything: “Because you said you weren’t directly happy with it. They also weren’t then, were they?”  
Beck’s certain that he wouldn’t have made a connection like that at Benji’s age. This is all Jade comming through. Benji’s too smart for his own good. Beck wonders if Jade’s mother ever thought so about her too. She must have.  
It’s also Jade, who now reaches over to their son, gently stroking through his hair. Softly telling him the truth, because there’s nothing else to say: “They weren’t. Not at first. Though now, you’re the most precious thing they have in their lives.”  
That’s definitely the truth. Beck sometimes thinks that his own parents love Benji more than they love him. That thought doesn’t make him jealous. Benji’s the best thing in the whole world, so he should be loved like that by everyone. It only still makes him jealous sometimes with Jade.  
When Jade strokes Benji’s hair so lovingly, speaking soft words to him, showing her immense love for him so obviously... yes, that makes Beck jealous sometimes.  
But Benji weirdly doesn’t seem to care much about either the hand or the words right now. Instead, he suddenly grins again: “I know how to make them guess.”

 

It’s Saturday and everyone’s in the small apartment, sitting around the table. Beck and Jade have wanted their parents to settle down a little before telling them of the baby, so they told Benji he would have to wait at least until they all start eating.  
It’s the second, the first bite is swallowed by everyone that Benji suddenly tells, in a rather proud voice: “I have big news.”  
So, there it goes already. Jade shares a look with Beck, both surpressing a smile. They don’t want to ruin this for Benji after all.  
“You got a good grade in that project you worked on,” Jade’s mother directly guesses.  
“No,” Benji answers with a big grin. “Though... Yes, I got a B+.”  
“Congrats,” Beck’s mother says with a smile.  
Benji doesn’t say anything more about it; well, there’s something more important for him right now. “But I have other big news and you have to guess. I’ll give you a clue: You got these kind of news before and you weren’t really happy then. This time you totally will be.”  
Jade’s glad that she and Beck show their love to their little boy so obvious that he isn’t fazed by the fact that he wasn’t initially wanted.  
Immediately, everyone tries to think of what he might want them to guess. Jade’s sure to even see her father engage in the riddle and think about it.  
It’s Beck’s father who turns to Beck and Jade: “Do you know it?”  
“They do,” Benji answers, satisfied that noone has already guessed, but all of them try to.  
It still takes a moment, until Jade’s eyes meet those of her mother. It’s the second, they meet that her mother’s eyes widen. “Jade!”  
She knows. Right there and then, she knows.  
She jumps up and hurries around the table to hug Jade. Before she’s with her and while Jade gets up for the hug, Beck’s mother also understands, slapping her hands on her chest, immediately happy, just like Jade’s mother.  
And then, Benji finally says, prouder than he has ever been before: “I’m gonna be a big brother!”  
Jade’s mother is with her now and pulls her into a close hug. This is nothing like her reaction the last time. Well, Jade’s seven years older now, is about to get her master of arts, her partner’s earning money and she has already proven that she can raise a child.  
Beck’s mother’s up next and has pulled Beck up from his chair into a hug as well. Then, everyone else stands up too, to congratulate them.  
Jasper’s with Jade after their mother, hugging her with a big grin and the words: “I don’t know if I’m ready for that responsibility again.”  
He’s fifteen by now and a great uncle for Benji, just like he’ll be a great uncle to Jade’s second child, she knows.  
Now, she shoves him away after their hug, with a grin herself: “Idiot.”  
Stephanie, her stepmother, is the next to hug her, which is just as weird as every hug that woman has ever pulled her into. But Jade knows she means well and is truly happy for her as she says: “This is so great. Congrats.”  
Jade only nods as an answer but also hugs her back a little. Her father follows up, even with a fleeting hug as well and a brief and stiff: “Congratulations, Jade.”  
He only shakes Beck’s hand afterwards, while Stephanie hugs Beck, which she has also done on several occasions before, the few times they have seen each other after birthdays or alike.  
Jade’s mother and her brother of course have hugged him too, closely. Just like Beck’s parents now each hug Jade, lovingly.  
Benji has also taken part in the happy congratulating and now asks his parents with a big grin: “Can we do this with your friends too?”  
He knows that they’ll be the next people Beck and Jade specifically want to tell. And he loved how this went, so...  
Dryly, Jade notices: “They’ll directly know what’s going on.” They’ll probably know as soon as Benji tells them that he has big news. After all, they have been there when Benji asked Beck and Jade for a sibling and they decided to go for it. Jade’s sure they’re all waiting for these news, even though all of them have refrained from asking about it. Jade’s surprised that not even Cat has asked her about it – but Jade noticed her shortly checking out her belly, every time they have seen each other from then on.  
“Why would they?” Jade’s mother asks confused, after it took all of them a while to get it, and Beck explains: “They were kind of there when we decided we would have another child now.”  
“Long story,” Jade adds because it would be a long story to explain to their parents.  
Beck’s mother meanwhile turns to Benji: “I want to make sure you know that we might’ve not been this happy all those years back but we feel more than blessed that you’re with us.”  
“I know,” Benji easily answers, almost uninterested, as his grandmother pulls him into another half hug.  
Only then, Beck’s father suggests: “How about we get back to this food before it gets cold?”  
Jade’s father has somewhat gone back to his chair, while everyone else stood around in front of Beck and Jade’s chairs. Now, everyone gets back to their chairs and sits back down.  
Beck’s mother says though: “I’m not sure I can eat anymore. This is so exciting!”  
“I can eat,” Jade throws in, digging back into her food. “The baby makes me hungry. It’ll make me so fat.”  
The last few days she definitely felt hungrier than usual and ate much more.  
“You’ll look great like always,” Beck gently says and maybe it does make Jade feel good inside though Beck has no idea how she would look if she actually would grow fat.  
Now, her mother also raises her voice again: “The pregnancy’s already going different then, right? You weren’t too hungry back with Benji.”  
“I wasn’t,” Jade nods. She didn’t eat that much more than she usually did back then. But she could imagine that being out of stress. She’s much more relaxed about this pregnancy than about the last one and back then, the pregnancy literally made her sick for the first few weeks.  
But it might also be the difference between the pregnancies. There’re are definitely a few differences.

 

At the end of July, the original gang is together once more, without another partner. They’re all over at Beck and Jade’s and the two of them have allowed Benji to tell their friends there and then.  
Jade also can barely hide the pregnancy anymore. She’s 17 weeks pregnant now and the only reason, nobody has noticed is because she hasn’t allowed anyone of them to hug her in greeting. Which she sometimes doesn’t, so they probably don’t wonder about it too much.  
They’re celebrating Jade being done with her master thesis and Jade also tells everyone a whole lot about it, quite proud of it.  
Benji holds back this time, until there’s finally a little time where everyone takes a few sips from their drinks. There, he puts in: “Does none of you care if my wish gets fulfilled?”  
Even though Beck and Jade didn’t know how exactly he would tell their friends, they immediately understand that this is the way he’ll tell them.  
Their friends meanwhile exchange confused looks.  
Tori’s the one to slowly ask: “Which wish?”  
“Of getting a sibling soon,” Benji easily answers.  
Their friends still need a second to realize what’s going on, then Cat already gets excited: “Will you get one? Are you pregnant, Jade?”  
“I am,” Jade answers and hell breaks loose after that.  
Everyone’s up their feet and the word ‘congratulations’ gets called out many times while their friends hug both Beck and Jade but Benji as well.  
“Oh, can we already feel the baby bumb?” Tori asks as the last to hug Jade. A question Andre and Robbie probably didn’t dare to ask as if it could also imply Jade growing fat. And something, Cat can’t have noticed when she hugged Jade, jumping up and down.  
“Yeah,” Jade answers. “I’m already 17 weeks.”  
“Cool,” Robbie says and Andre wants to know: “When is it due?”  
“Eighth of January,” Beck answers. “But let’s see if it will be able to hold on during the excitement of Christmas and New Year’s Eve.”


	5. A second pregnancy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, guys!  
> Please enjoy this quite short new chapter! :)

Their second ultrasound is at the end of August. Jade’s 21 weeks pregnant now, so halfway through, and they’re going to find out the sex of the child.  
Beck’s excited for it. He can’t wait to know the sex of their child, to know a little bit more about that new life inside of Jade.  
At one point he thinks he’d like a girl more than a boy, if only because they already have a boy. And how wonderful would it be to have a small copy of Jade?  
Then, he realizes that maybe a boy would be better because he would struggle to not expect a girl to be like Jade – and he knows how awful life can be if your parents expect you to be a certain person.  
But he would be able to handle it, he guesses. He would deal with it, with help of Jade, like always.  
Anyway... As he thinks about it, he realizes a boy can just be as much Jade as a girl. Heck, he sees her in Benji all the time and loves every second of it. So, it doesn’t matter either way.  
He just wants the baby to be okay, really.  
He doesn’t see much on the ultrasound. This baby isn’t as much of a poser as Benji was inside Jade’s belly. He was always clearly a human being and yes, Beck was able to recognize it was going to be a boy. He has no idea now and doesn’t even see it when the doctor points out how to see that it’s another boy.  
He’s happy either way and when he and Jade are back in the car, he doesn’t start it right away but takes her hand in his as he looks at her with a loving smile.  
“Another baby boy, huh?”  
There’s another baby boy inside of her. Another son of his.  
“I’m glad,” Jade says.  
Beck’s surprised about that. If there’s anyone who never cares about anyone’s sex, it’s Jade.  
“Wouldn’t’ve liked a girl?” he checks.  
She shrugs as she explains in a bored voice: “I might’ve thought about names a little over the last week and I don’t think I know any half decent girl name which doesn’t remind me of a girl with said name that flirted with you.”  
Oh, okay. “Well, then,” he says but already sees how a smirk sneaks onto her face. She’s only half-serious, obviously.  
He can’t help but lean forward, from the driver’s seat to the passenger’s one, to kiss her. She returns the kiss deeply.

When he asks her later what name she has in mind for a boy, she says she hasn’t decided yet. But that she thinks it should also somewhat fit with the name of their older son, Benjamin. So, the name shouldn’t be a new invention or something.  
Beck gets that and is more than fine with it.  
He himself thinks about various names and finally tells Jade, three days after the ultrasound, that he could see the name ‘Colin’ somewhat work. That makes Jade scrunch up her nose (in a kind of adorable way but that’s neither here nor there).  
“No!” she decides without explaining and then admits: “I’ve been thinking that I like ‘Ray’. But not as a full name, just as a nickname. But I can’t think of a name I like which shortens to ‘Ray’.”  
“You can shorten everything to ‘Ray’ if you really want to,” Beck claims with a smile. Well, not really shorten, but it could be a nickname for anybody. Nicknames can be so weird and unlike the actual name.  
He doesn’t care much that ‘Colin’ is out of the equation. He wasn’t in love with the name or something. Unlike with ‘Benjamin’ quite quickly.  
“Idiot,” Jade calls him, before she kisses him.

“What about the name ‘Nicholas’?”  
The question comes out of nowhere, when they’re watching TV one night, Benji already in bed, the two of them cuddling on the couch. Beck still knows right away what this is about.  
He wonders if one of the actors on screen is named Nicholas. He knows none of the characters is named that but he doesn’t know many actors’ names while Jade remembers them effortlessly.  
She adds, as they turn to look at each other: “We could call him ‘Nicky’.”  
Beck somehow likes it. He likes the name and he likes the nickname. Though he has to suggest another nickname, pretending to be serious: “Or ‘Lassy’.”  
Jade’s face falls. “Oh, god.”  
“I’m joking,” he hurries to say with a grin. “Nobody will ever call him ‘Lassy’.”  
He doesn’t want Jade to decide against that name just because of that. Not when both of them otherwise like it.  
“Will?” Jade asks.  
Well, yes. He said ‘will’, not ‘would’. As if it’s already clear that their baby’s name will be ‘Nicholas’.  
He shrugs. “I like the name. I think I could get behind that.” And with another grin, he adds: “Let’s think about it?”  
She grins too before she kisses him. They both remember how quickly they decided on the name ‘Benjamin’ and how they then said they would keep thinking about it – to never doubt the name of their son again and just taking it.  
Beck’s fine for it to happen like that again. Why shouldn’t it happen like this when neither finds a good reason against the name and get quickly used to it instead?

 

Their friends are over once again. Andre brought his girlfriend Ruby, otherwise it’s the original gang back together. And Benji.  
Robbie tells them all about his new job, which they talk about for a while. Only after that, Andre asks: “How’s the pregnancy going?”  
It’s the end of September, Jade’s 25 weeks pregnant.  
She leans further into Beck, who sits on the couch with her, his arm around her. “My back already hurts like crazy and I’m barely half way through.” She rolls her eyes slightly and then adds: “But at least I’m not crying all the time.”  
Her friends know that this shows how much she actually likes Andre’s girlfriend, to talk about something like that in front of her. Well, they do get along surprisingly well.  
It also shows though, how much time has passed since Jade’s first pregnancy that she can talk about it so easily, almost mocking herself.  
Tori wants to say she’s glad for Jade though she wasn’t even there during her first pregnancy and all those tears (she heard enough about it to know how terrible it must’ve been for Jade).  
But before she can say anything, Benji has turned to his mother, furrowing his brows. “Why should you be crying?”  
Benji has never seen his mother cry, as far as he can remember.  
Beck’s the one to explain gently: “We talked about how Mom’s body changes, right?” The boy nods earnestly. “There’re also a lot of changes inside of her like inside of every pregnant woman. Some of those changes can make a woman emotional. It did with her when she was pregnant with you.”  
Benji has listened with rapt attention, now he looks back at his mother, still wondering. “And that made you cry?”  
“All the time,” Jade answers honestly, which Tori considers amazing despite it having happened a long time ago. To really talk about it so openly...  
Cat sits between Benji and Jade on the couch but not for long anymore. Benji quickly crawls over her, stops next to his mother, looks her directly in the eye and says: “I’m sorry.”  
“N’aw,” Cat makes and Jade runs a hand through his hair as she says: “You don’t have to be. It wasn’t your fault.”  
“You were pregnant with me,” Benji responds.  
Jade shrugs and then, with a smirk: “Yeah, but he’s the one who made me pregnant.”  
Carelessly, she makes a gesture to Beck on her other side, still having his arm around her.  
Their friends have to grin. That’s of course true. And Beck would be more to blame than little Benji.  
Beck grins too as he answers: “And I’m not sorry at all.”  
Jade hits him, but light enough that Beck doesn’t even flinch. Meanwhile, Benji tells his father in a serious tone: “That’s why Mom likes me better than you.”  
“One of the reasons,” Jade adds without pause and promptly, Beck pouts.  
Jade also sees it, turning her head in his direction with a smirk. As she sees it, she makes a “n’aw”.  
Benji meanwhile tells his father: “Don’t pull that face. You know she loves you.”  
That’s Benji. The group of friends always wonder how he can understand the relationship of his parents so easily and better than all of them. How he can make fun of Beck in the exact same way Jade does and then make it all better with something so sweet and honest. How he knows how to take everything his mother says to anyone.  
In retrospect, the friends are even sure to slightly see Jade nod to that comment of Benji, her eyes never leaving Beck’s.  
The comment makes Beck smile again in any case and he pulls Jade in a soft kiss.

 

It’s Christmas Eve and Beck, Jade and Benji are at Beck’s parent’s house, where they’ll celebrate the holiday.  
They switched between this house and that of Jade’s mother every year now. Jade, Beck and Benji usually come for Christmas Eve to that same house and stay the night while the rest of the family then comes Christmas morning.  
They don’t know yet if they’ll keep celebrating like this when they have two children. Maybe, they’ll start celebrating at their own home and invite their parents over for Christmas Eve or Day. They don’t know yet, but for now, everyone’s happy that they’re celebrating it like usual. It could’ve happened that the second child would come right before Christmas and then Jade obviously wouldn’t have been in the mood for the whole family.  
Jade is due in a bit more than two weeks and feels quite content that the baby won’t come during this holiday. She also otherwise feels pretty content in her pregnancy, though she starts having trouble moving around too much by now.  
She doesn’t like anyone telling her not to do too much (Benji’s allowed sometimes, just like Jasper was during her first pregnancy) and she also doesn’t like everyone around her doing a whole lot while she just hangs around on the couch, but this Christmas... She’s just really very pregnant and Beck promised her to help out his parents more for her to be able to keep sitting.  
So, that’s what he does. He helps his parents cooking the Christmas Eve dinner and also makes Benji help, while Jade mainly sits at the kitchen table while they all talk.  
Afterwards, she also barely helps clean up and is instead glad when she gets to sit back on the couch instead of on those uncomfortable kitchen chairs.  
The others have barely sat down as well, when the doorbell rings.  
“I have an idea who that is,” Leah says with a smile and Beck also can’t help but grin.  
They have a lot of new traditions from after Benji was born, especially as they had to fit the celebrations of two families into one celebration. There’s one tradition that was founded when Benji was one and a half years old – the visit of Santa Claus. With Santa Claus being played by no other than Cat.  
Since then, Cat comes by every Christmas Eve, visiting Benji, whereever he is that evening, and sings a few Christmas songs with him and gives him his first present for the holiday.  
Jade rolls her eyes about it, but Beck knows that she likes how much Cat and Benji love this tradition, how much they love each other.  
Benji’s now also the one running from the living room to the hallway, where Jade, Beck and Beck’s parents can immediately hear the new ‘ho ho ho’ Cat invented.  
Benji knows it’s her. He knows at least since he’s four, but he always plays along. Before he found out, he always thought so differently about Santa Claus than all of his friends. For him, Santa Claus never was this old, bearded man, calm and content. For him, Santa Claus always was a young woman, that weirdly had a white long beard (seriously long) and was way too excited about everything, just like Cat. He somehow deemed Santa Claus a relative of Cat, which wasn’t weird for him as she told him anyway that she was his Fairy Godmother and why shouldn’t a Fairy Godmother and Santa Claus be related?  
Cat walks inside with a sack over her shoulder and her arm around Benji. This time, she just put one pillow into her Santa suit. In a way that makes her look a little as if she’s pregnant. Jade’s sure that was what she was going for. When she, Jade, as her best friend is so very pregnant.  
Benji has to sing three Christmas songs with Cat before he gets his present out of her sack (in which are also presents for Beck and Jade, who will return the favor before she leaves again).  
It’s a Lego set, which Benji’s happy about but the best thing about this is still Cat, who even sang the Christmas songs with him in a very weird and amusing way.  
After Benji opened his presents, Beck’s father hands Cat something to eat. She always eats a little when she comes over Christmas Eve.  
It’s while Cat talks to both of Beck’s parents (still as Santa Claus of course) that Beck watches Benji sit down next to Jade and turning to her belly like he sometimes does, being the only one next to Beck who’s really allowed to do that and who’s almost always allowed to touch it: “Can you hear Santa Claus, little bro?”  
Cat does one of her distintive “ho ho ho”s that same moment. She tries to work them into the conversation constantly, as if Santa Claus would end every other sentence with it.  
Benji smiles and lies his head on top of his mother’s belly. “You’ll love her, I promise.”  
Beck has to smile, especially when Jade does too and gently starts stroking the boy’s hair, feeling totally content with him resting his head on top of her pregnant belly.

Benji sleeps in the room he has in his grandparents’ house that night, while Beck and Jade sleep in the RV. They now haven’t been in there for two years, since the last Christmas. Back then, Benji chose to sleep with them in there, which made it kind of crowded. This time, Benji wanted to sleep in his own room and Beck’s parents tried to convince Beck and Jade to also sleep in the house, in Beck’s old room, which he moved out of when he was fourteen, almost ten years ago.  
But both loved the idea to sleep in the RV again. They also see now that despite their protests, Beck’s parents made sure it’s clean.  
There isn’t much in the RV anymore. A little furniture like the bed, which they didn’t need for their shared apartment. But no personal items anymore. Which doesn’t make it feel as home as it used too.  
But still... They are back in this space and the bed is the same and Beck can’t help but ask, when they are all ready for the night and spooning in bed: “Major throwback, huh?”  
Jade smirks. “Yeah, that we’re back here with 24 and 23 and I’m pregnant again...”  
Yes, that’s also throwing them back. They’ve been in this exact same spot, in this exact same position, Beck holding Jade, his hand resting on her pregnant belly, when they were sixteen, eight years back. Gosh, they were so scared back then.  
They’re also a little scared about this new pregnancy, even though it was wanted and planned. But you never know how it will go with a child, what will happen, how it will work out. All in all, they feel much more secure this time around. Well, they aren’t children themselves anymore and they already know that they’re generally able to raise a child.  
Beck gently and slowly puts kisses in Jade’s neck and she feels absolute warmth as she lies there. Just like eight years ago. Moments like these made her feel like they could do it. That she and Beck could do anything.  
She loves that he still makes her feel like that, that he’s still her absolute rock.


	6. A second birth

Jade can’t believe it’s already January eighth and therefore her second child’s due date.  
Benji came early back in the day, more than a week before his due date, and Jade felt exhausted already weeks before that.  
She feels better this time around. Her back doesn’t ache as much, her ankles aren’t as swollen.  
Yes, she still would like to have born this baby, she’s still not in her best condition – but it’s way better than the last time. That’s why she doesn’t feel too bad that she hasn’t given birth yet, though the thought of the baby still staying inside of her for one week more as some babies do makes her sick as well.  
It’s late that evening, Beck and her are about to go to bed, when she feels something. A light contraction.  
She stops for a moment, just about to lie down. And of course Beck notices, attentive as he is.  
“Something wrong?”  
Jade puts a hand on her belly as she slowly lies down, settling next to Beck on the bed. “Mh. No. I think I just had a contraction.”  
Beck immediately sits back up. “What? Do we need to get to the hospital?”  
Jade has to smile. Beck hasn’t been there when the decision to go to the hospital was made before Benji was born. He was in school. He doesn’t know at which point you should go to the hospital. Her mother meanwhile taught her to absolutely trust her body about the whole pregnancy process, to listen to her body.  
She’s listening now and is sure that this is the start of the birth of her next child. But an extremely slow start and she doesn’t think it’s time to get to the hospital at all.  
That’s why she pulls Beck back to lie with her, cuddling up to him. “No. Let’s try to get some sleep.”  
Beck who was extremely tired before puts his arm around her and asks: “How will I ever be able to sleep now?”  
Jade rolls her eyes. “You aren’t the one with a baby inside your body that’s thinking about coming out. Rest. I promise I won’t let you miss the birth.”  
He smiles and puts a gentle kiss on top of her head. He trusts her. He knows she knows what she’s doing. She always knows what she’s doing. But he’s excited now. The thought of meeting his second child tonight or the next day... He knew it would happen soon, but with her saying the contractions sort of started...  
Jade settles her head on top of Beck’s chest, as best as she can with her big belly needing room in front of her. She can hear his heartbeat, strong and a bit too fast. Well... She’ll sleep. She’ll need all the strength she can muster, as soon as this birth starts for real. She doesn’t care too much if Beck’s able to get to sleep too. He’ll survive one night without sleep – she won’t when she has to give birth the next day.

She really falls asleep quickly and Beck does too after a while. They have a wakeful night though. Jade wakes up every now and then from contractions and feels a little restless. Beck startles awake whenver she turns around but also easily floats back to sleep every time.  
Until, with it dawning outside, Jade suddenly sits up. “We should get to the hospital.”  
Beck’s sure in retrospect that he has been asleep again until those words, but he’s wide awake after Jade said them, sits up as if he knew they would come right now, and quickly says: “Okay. I’ll call my parents, yes?”  
They made plans a month ago about when everyone in their lives would be available to watch Benji to know whom to call when the birth started. They had to promise their parents to call one of them if they have time at all – while they told them that they won’t make them drop everything, like won’t make them miss work. All of them would be ready to call their bosses and tell them that they couldn’t come to work, but they often enough arranged everything around Benji back in time and Beck and Jade don’t want them to keep doing that.  
But they now agreed to call one of them if they need help at night. As Jade’s mother is gone on a business trip for three days on the East coast, right over the due date, they of course can’t call her to come and help out. Jade’s father and stepmother might’ve offered help (well, her stepmother at least) but they’re never the ones they call. So, it’s Beck’s parents, obviously.  
So, Jade answers: “Yeah. Tell them, they don’t need to hurry.” She can imagine their reaction right now, how they jump out of their bed and get in the car, dressed in their pajamas, all excited about the new baby. That’s not necessary. “I’ll call the hospital.”  
Each of them take their phones and Beck calls his father’s phone.  
His father picks up after two rings. “Mh?”  
“Hi, dad,” Beck says and doesn’t directly start, because he guesses his father needs a moment more to wake up and actually hear him.  
Well, but him calling of course does a good job waking his father up. Beck can hear some rustling, then his father’s voice again: “Has something happened?”  
“Sorta. Jade’s in labor,” he says, looking over to her. She’s talking to someone at the hospital on her phone right now, informing them that they will come soon.  
“Oh,” Beck’s father makes. He brings a little distance between his mouth and the phone as he says: “Leah, wake up.” Then, he’s on the phone again: “That’s great! We’ll come over.”  
Beck was sure they both would want to come. They would only need one of them here to take care of Benji but Beck knew that they would both want to come. Well, they’re used to eat breakfast together, to start their day together. They enjoy that. And they both love to take care of Benji and be part of big family moments, so they could never decide who would be allowed to come over.  
“Jade wants to let you know that you don’t need to hurry,” he adds.  
He knows it would be of no use for him to tell them not to hurry. His parents used to despise Jade, especially his mother. But seeing her with baby Benji, seeing her raise their grandchild so lovingly and putting him above everything else, made them pretty much fall in love with her. Sometimes, he feels like they trust her more with their grandchild (soon to be grandchildren) than him. Not that he has a problem with that. He’s just gald they finally get along, that his parents can see what a wonderful person Jade is.  
They definitely trust her more about the pregnancy but Beck gets that. She’s extremely intuitive about it – while he can’t be because he... just isn’t pregnant.  
So he knows, by telling his father that Jade says they don’t have to hurry, he will know that they really don’t.  
His father easily answers: “We’ll hurry anyway. We don’t want your second baby been born in the car, do we?”  
Beck has to smile. His second baby. That thought makes him so giddy. “We don’t. See you.”  
“See you.”

Beck and Jade are dressed and in the kitchen part of their living room. Beck got Jade something to eat and Jade then also made him eat, telling him that the birth won’t be easier for her if he faints during it because he didn’t get any food.  
“I wish we could’ve at least still brought Benji to school,” Jade says, checking the clock. It’s now a bit more than half an hour until Benji usually gets up. They didn’t need to talk about it to agree that they won’t wake him up early to tell him about the start of the birth. He needs the sleep for his own school day.  
Beck understands that Jade’d like it better if they could still... be there for Benji, if they wouldn’t have to vanish now, but could still give him his usual morning. But... “Well... My parents will bring him. He’ll be fine.”  
“I know,” Jade just responds because she does know it’ll be okay for Benji. He’s a great kid. Then, she orders: “Bring the bag to the car.”  
Beck grins. “Aye, aye.”  
He’s bringing the bag for the hospital to the car and is closing the car back up, when he finally sees his parents’ car pulling into their driveway.  
He waves in their direction before he walks back to the house, leaving the door open.  
“They’re here,” he informs Jade.  
She has a hand on her belly and her face is a little contorted in pain. Without a doubt, she’s having another contraction.  
“Good,” she still presses out and Beck quickly walks up to her, offering her his hand and when she takes it, he puts his other hand in her back, rubbing gently, in hope that that might ease the pain a bit. He also tries to breathe with her.  
The contraction can barely have passed when Beck’s parents walk inside. They got dressed, just like Beck and Jade, and must’ve driven here while Beck and Jade ate.  
“Hi. How are you?” Beck’s mother directly asks, hurrying towards Jade.  
“Fine, considering,” Jade answers, letting Beck help her up from the stool at the kitchen counter where she sat to eat. “I just hope I won’t be in labor the whole day,” she dryly adds, without a doubt referring to Leah giving birth to Beck. She told Jade after Benji was born that she was in labor for a whole day.  
Leah smiles. “I’m crossing my fingers.”  
Meanwhile, Nathaniel checks: “Is Benji awake yet?”  
“No,” Beck answers while he leads Jade further to the door. “He should be up in half an hour though. If you could make him breakfast and bring him to school?”  
Both nod and Jade adds: “Could you also call Cat? She can pick him up from school. If she doesn’t have time, you can also tell her to ask one of the others to look after him.”  
It’s smart to have them call Cat, Beck notices. This way, neither he nor Jade still have to take care of it. His parents can call Cat, who’s back in town for a week now and should have time. If she has an audition or anything after all (though Jade would probably know as Cat tells her everything), she can ask Andre, Robbie and Tori if one of them have time. The group of friends have agreed that one of them easily can make time whenever needed, to take care of Benji. (And if they absolutely couldn’t, Benji could still go to one of his own friends after school – they thankfully have a big support system.)  
“Yes,” Leah says.  
Jade nods. “Good. Tell her, she’s also allowed to tell everyone what’s going on.” That’s probably also a good idea. Cat will burst with those news anyway and will have trouble to decide on her own if she’s allowed to tell or not, if she doesn’t need to ask the others if they have time to take care of Benji.  
“We will,” Nathaniel says. “Should we call your mom?”  
“No. I’ll call her on the way,” Jade answers.  
“Okay. We wish you the best,” Nathaniel makes sure to say, with Leah nodding next to him. Then, he’s turning to Beck: “And you, drive carefully.”  
“I will.”

Jade directly gets her phone out, as soon as she’s in the car, and calls her mother.  
She wants her to be part of this too. It’s weird that she isn’t around. After all, she was even in the room when Benji was born. Now, she’s on the other coast. She at least should know about it. Though Jade’s sure it will make her mother nervous to know and to not be around, to not make sure Jade’s okay at all times... It will calm Jade down to hear her mother’s voice and this is about her and the baby, so...  
Her mother picks up after one ring. “Hi. Has something happened?”  
“I’m in labor,” Jade answers, not bothering with a greeting, just like she didn’t bother with one in front of her in-laws.  
“Oh,” her mother makes, though she must’ve expected this. It’s the morning after the due date after all. “Are you at the hospital?”  
“Beck’s driving me right now,” she says, looking over to him. He also glances at her, smiling, before concentrating back on the road. But not without letting his right hand wander over to her.  
She takes it and holds it in her lap, while listening to her mother ask: “Who’s with Benji?”  
Her mother’s taking care like she always is. Thinking of everything, making sure everything is taken care of. Jade knows about that – she’s like that too.  
“Leah and Nathaniel.”  
“Good,” her mother says and only then: “Oh, Jade.” Yeah, she doesn’t like not being around. “Remember what I told you the last time when you were in labor?”  
Jade does remember, clear as day. How her mother told her that it was all about her. That she had to know what she needed and that she would make sure all her demands would get answered. That only she could ever know how to ease the pain during giving birth best and how she felt most comfortable.  
Exactly because of that advice, she felt free to call her mother in this situation, though she knows her mother will worry the whole day about the process of the birth.  
“I’ll do exactly as I want to,” she promises and adds after a moment: “You know Beck does as he’s told.”  
She looks over to him again with a smirk.  
Beck actually smiles at that, glances to her again, before pulling her hand up to his mouth, kissing it lightly. “I do.”  
Jade’s mother must’ve heard his words too and she seems satisfied. “Good. Will you call when it’s done?”  
“Someone will,” Jade answers. “When will your flight go?” When will her mother be able to meet her second grandchild?  
“Tomorrow morning,” her mother says.  
“Okay. I feel another contraction start, so I’ll hang up.”  
“Good luck, Jade.”

 

Benji’s proud of waking up by himself. He has an alarm clock for a year now and he likes waking up by its sound and then getting up all on his own. He likes walking into the kitchen where his parents start their mornings slowly, whenever they can, often also still at least partly in their pajamas. He likes being... sort of grown up.  
Sometimes, he also likes to roll back over after turning off the alarm. He doesn’t fall back asleep every time, but about five minutes later, one of his parents usually comes inside to wake him up. He also likes that sometimes. One of them sitting down on his bedside, quietly saying his name and gently running their hands through his hair or over his back... It happens that he then just wraps his arms around whoever one of them is there and lets them carry him to breakfast, not letting go before they do. He’s already seven, will turn eight in two months, but sometimes, that’s nice. Though he wasn’t able to do that to his mother for a few months anymore as she isn’t supposed to carry such heavy weight during the pregnancy. He understands. He doesn’t want her or the baby to get hurt.  
Anyway... Today, his own alarm clock wakes him again and after turning it off, he gets up. He already smells the coffee. He doesn’t wonder about it, though if he would stop to think a second he would realize that it hasn’t smelled of coffee inside their house for months as well, except if they had visitors.  
His mother doesn’t drink coffee during the pregnancy (which makes her quite cranky in the mornings). His father decided to go without it too. He hasn’t done that during her pregnancy with Benji, but he said, this time around he wants to show her more support. Though if he had a short night because of work or alike, he gets himself a coffee at some shop. Jade knows that too. She has rolled her eyes about Beck’s decision anyway, though Benji’s sure she likes that he’s doing mostly without coffee too if she has to. And that she’s definitely glad to not have to smell it in the mornings while she can’t have any.  
This morning, it smells like coffee again and in the kitchen area of the living room, he doesn’t find his parents but his grandparents.  
“Morning,” he draws the attention to himself, a little confused.  
His pop greets back with a “morning” too, while his granny says: “Good morning, Benji. Come here, sit down.”  
He does, sits down on his usual stool at the kitchen counter, next to his pop where his mother should usually sit. His granny gets him a bowl and milk and cornflakes, while he asks: “Where’re Mom and Dad?”  
“They’re at the hospital,” his pop answers. “Your mom has gone into labor.”  
“What? Really? When?” he directly asks. Those are extremely exciting news for him.  
“A while ago,” his granny answers. “They only left half an hour ago though.”  
“Why didn’t they wake me?” he wants to know. He wants to be part of it. But his parents just left without telling him?  
His granny gently says: “Because you couldn’t come to the hospital anyway. You have to go to school.”  
To school? While his little brother gets born? Well. Yeah, his parents did tell him before that he couldn’t be in the hospital with them and everything, but the thought of school, now...  
“What if the baby comes while I’m at school?” He doesn’t know how long it’ll take. His parents also were pretty vague about the possible time.  
His granny is the one to respond once more: “Then, Cat’ll take you to the hospital to meet the little guy right after school.”  
Promptly, his pop says: “It’s probably late enough to call and tell her, huh?”  
His granny nods, so his pop pulls out his phone while his granny finally asks Benji if he’s fine with cornflakes this morning or what else he’d like.  
Cornflakes are fine with him though and he takes some, while his pop calls Cat: “Good morning. Sorry for calling so early. It’s Nathaniel Oliver, Beck’s father.”  
Cat must answer on the other end, then it’s Pop again: “Yes, Jade went into labor. My wife and I are with Benji now but could you pick him up from school?”  
Benji’s happy to know that Cat’ll pick him up. It’s always fun to be with Cat.  
“Perfect,” his pop continues after a moment. “Jade also says you’re free to tell everyone that she’s in labor.” Another short pause, then: “Okay. Bye.”  
As soon as he ended the call, his granny turns to Benji once more: “If she for some reason forgets to pick you up, you’ll make the school call one of us, yes? We get someone else to you.” The school has his parents’ and all his grandparents’ numbers to call if anything’s up. They also have been warned that Benji very likely won’t get picked up after school by any of those people if the baby’ll come over the day.  
“Uhu,” Benji makes. Obviously, he’ll make the school call someone if nobody will come to pick him up.  
His pop makes sure to say: “But don’t get into a stranger’s car.” They’ll only get someone to pick him up whom he already knows.  
Well... His parents tought him that lesson already. No matter what, his parents told him, they’d never send someone for him whom he doesn’t know and that there therefore will never be a reason for him to get into a car with someone he doesn’t know.  
He gets almost bored by warnings like that by now, so he only answers: “I know.”

 

After school, as he leaves the school grounds with three of his friends, he hears Cat before he sees her.  
“Benji!”  
He has to grin. Sometimes, he thinks he could feel embarrassed around Cat, but he really loves her and for some reason... he just isn’t embarrassed. He loves her happiness that so often seems a little over the top but is one hundred percent genuine at all times.  
He now finds her with his eyes at her car, that’s parked in front of the school with a lot of other people who also came to pick up a child. She leans against the passenger seat’s side, looking in their direction, now waving excitedly.  
“See ya,” he tells his friends, leaving them behind, walking up to Cat.  
He doesn’t bother with a greeting, but does hug her as he asks: “And? Is the baby born?”  
His thoughts were with his parents and the new baby a lot while he sat in school. One of his teachers even noticed that he wasn’t attentive in class and almost gave him detention for it.  
Cat hugs him back tight, while she answers: “I haven’t heard from your parents yet, but a birth also can take so many hours.”  
As soon as they break apart, she checks her phone once more, while he scrunches up his nose. He isn’t happy about still not getting to meet his baby brother, that might not even be born yet.  
Cat ruffles his hair. “How about we go home to my place and order pizza? Tori and Robbie are already there and Andre wants to come as well.” She makes her way over to the driver’s side.  
Both, she and Benji get into the car, Benji also always allowed in the front with Cat, while he asks: “Why?”  
He didn’t know they would meet up with all of his parents’ closest friends. Why are Tori and Robbie already at Cat’s place and why would Andre also want to come? Does nobody have to work? Well, they do all have artsy jobs and are usually flexible with their time.  
Cat easily answers though: “Because everyone’s excited for your little baby brother to come and want to celebrate with you.” Well, okay. That’s a decent explanation. “So, pizza?”  
They both fasten their seatbelts, while Benji answers: “I’m in the mood for Chinese.”  
He usually is way more into pizza as he also doesn’t like fish or seafood too much. But they also have other dishes that he likes.  
Cat gives him her phone and then starts the car. “Can you text Tori to tell her that and also text her what we both want? Then, it’ll be on the way when we arrive.”  
He does with Cat telling her what she’d like.  
He has barely hit ‘send’ when Cat then asks, all excited to hear about it: “How was school?”

He tells her some things about his school day but it also doesn’t take too long until they arrive at Cat’s home. She’s living alone in her parents’ home, mostly. Benji knows that her parents talked about selling the house as they moved away for her brother’s health. Cat doesn’t need all this space on her own. But in the end, they made it Cat’s decision what to do and Cat’s still thinking about moving into a smaller apartment.  
For now, she’s still living in this house and they go into it. Inside, in the living room, Tori, Andre and Robbie are all waiting for them.  
“Ah, Andre, you’re here too,” Cat happily says. As she let Tori and Robbie in herself, she of course knew they were waiting here.  
She now hugs him while the other two hug Benji in greeting, Andre also following that up.  
All of them are obviously excited and directly tell him how awesome it is that his little brother is finally getting born. Benji gets to know that they all made time as soon as Cat called them in the morning. They’re extremely happy that they’re all in LA at the moment, especially Andre who will fly to New York next week for a month because of some music shows. This way, he hopes he’ll get to meet Benji’s little brother before he has to leave.  
The food arrives when they still all explain how they came here, and they eat together.  
Cat suggests afterwards, checking her phone constantly, for Benji to do his homework. He’s not in the mood, but everyone tells him that it can still take a lot of time until his parents call or text and that he might not have time to do his homework anymore if he waits until he gets to meet his brother.  
Well, and everybody is more than ready to help him with his homework. He knows he can pretty much make them do them, to not have to think himself and just write down what they say. They’re all just so excited because of the birth. And they don’t have any idea how to do homework with a child. His parents and grandparents are all pretty serious about his work for school and encourage him to do everything himself with only very little help. He also finds it easy to do, but... if he doesn’t need to do anything but write down what everyone’s saying... That’s even easier.  
But they have barely started with it, when Cat’s phone finally rings. Cat jumps up excited. “It’s your dad!”  
Benji throws away his pencil and jumps up too.  
Cat continues: “I’ll put it on speaker but you can answer it.”  
He likes that idea and watches Cat accept the call and directly put it on speaker, before holding the phone closer to him.  
“Yeah?” he makes.  
It’s not his father’s voice that answers but his mother’s: “Hey, baby. You’re a big brother.”  
“Yes!” he says and their friends cheer as well.  
His parents must’ve put his father’s phone on speaker too. At least, it’s his father that questions amused: “Who else is there?”  
“Everyone,” Benji says with a grin.  
“Everyone?” his mother asks, sceptical.  
Benji looks around into the grinning faces of everyone in the room. “Cat and Robbie and Andre and Tori.”  
Cat quickly explains: “The others wanted to come by and wait with us for news.”  
“Well...” his mother slowly says and Benji’s sure that she and his father are sharing a glance. “Then you can all come down here, now.”  
“Really?” Tori loudly asks and Benji sees how excited all of the friends look about that prospect.  
“Yes.”

Everyone is quick to pack up their things. Everyone but Benji has presents for the baby. Well, he has one too but that’s at home. He bought a little stuffed bunny for the baby with his parents. When he asks the grown-ups, what to do about it, Robbie tells him that he doesn’t have to worry, that he can still give it to him at home and that his parents and his new baby brother will just be happy to see him.  
Andre’s the one who says, as they leave the house: “Remember, guys, from the last time: Don’t expect to hold the baby.” He looks more at Tori and Cat at that than at Robbie, but all of them nod.  
Meanwhile, Benji pulls his eyebrows together. “Why shouldn’t we?”  
Cat explains with a surprisingly earnest voice: “He has been inside your mom for so long and has been a part of her that it might be tough to hand him over now, so shortly after giving birth.”  
He guesses he gets that. His mother’s possessive. About his father mostly, but also him, Benji. She also will be about his baby brother. Especially now, after he was in some ways just hers.

 

They’re in absolute bliss.  
The birth of their second child has taken longer than the birth of their first one and was also more hurtful for Jade, but now, the baby boy lies in her arms with Beck sitting next to them on the bed. A healthy little boy.  
It feels so much like the first time they held Benji.  
They call him, their first baby boy, over Cat’s phone after they’ve been alone for an hour. And when they hear that not only Cat is with him (who would naturally get to meet the new baby as she would bring Benji by), but Robbie, Andre and Tori as well, they silently decide that they can come as well. Why not? Jade knows from the time, when Benji was still so little, that all of them are extremely respectful and to be trusted about noticing how much Jade can handle in situations like this. Well... Tori wasn’t around when Benji was an infant, but she also always behaved well about Benji since she met him and about Jade with him and Jade feels that she also will know not to get into Jade’s space right now.  
Beck calls his mother after their call to their son and tells her about the successful birth and that she and his father can come by in the evening to meet the baby and pick up Benji.  
Then, Jade calls her own mother with her baby safe in Beck’s arms, to quickly inform her that everything has gone well. And then, she also finally calls Jasper.  
Jasper’s fifteen and sometimes stays with them when their mother’s gone on a short business trip. Her mother didn’t want that this time around and instead made him stay with his father again, as Jade was very pregnant anyway and wasn’t supposed to take care of too many people during that. Though Jasper really doesn’t need care and Beck’s home mostly at the moment anyway. He does have an audition tomorrow morning, but isn’t filming right now. Filming of his series starts again in the beginning of February, which is kind of perfect. He’ll be home mostly during the first three weeks of their second child.  
Anyway... Now, Jade’s calling Jasper, who picks up the phone, probably thinking it’s Beck as Jade’s using his phone: “What’s up?”  
“Just wanted to let you know that you have another nephew,” Jade says.  
Maybe, Jasper has half expected it. He also knew when the baby was due. He sounds totally thrilled in any way: “Really? Oh my god! Congrats! Are you okay?”  
That’s her brother, asking about her, instead of just being happy about the news.  
“I am,” she answers and Jasper excitedly asks: “What’s the little one’s name?”  
Beck and she have agreed to say the name as soon as someone asks, now that the baby is born. Nobody has asked yet. Their parents probably will when they come to visit.  
She glances to the baby in Beck’s arms, then to Beck himself, while she softly answers: “Nicholas.”  
“I like it,” Jasper says, while Beck smiles back at Jade happily. “When can I come by to meet him?”  
“Mom’ll be back tomorrow. I bet she’ll come over right from the airport but I’ll tell her to take you after school.” She’ll do it and if she wouldn’t, Jade guesses she would send Beck. She does think her brother should meet his nephew soon enough.  
“Awesome!” Jasper says. “I’m so happy for you!”  
“Thanks,” Jade says and if they’re talking on the phone anyway, she obviously has to check in with him too: “Are you okay?”  
“Yeah! I just found out I’m an uncle again! I’m more than fine,” he responds and she knows he means it.  
“Good. Take care.”  
After that, it’s only her, Beck and their baby again. She wants to inform her father but that has still time. She guesses she will call him after their friends are gone again or alike. For now, she wants to enjoy the minutes, they have left to be alone, just the three of them.

 

When Benji walks into the room, followed by Cat, Tori, Andre and Robbie, he finds the perfect little family. Both his parents are sitting on the bed, his mother under the blanket, his father on top of it. His mother holds a small little thing in her arms and both are looking at it with utmost love and adoration.  
Benji stops as he sees them. Something inside of him doesn’t want to interrupt.  
But both his parents hear them coming inside and look up. And his father promptly stands up and says, in a hushed voice: “Benji, come over here.”  
He does as he’s told while the friends hang back, not saying a word, as if it’s not their turn yet.  
His father lifts Benji up and sits him down next to his mother, where his father sat before. From there, he can easily look at the little thing in her arms. He sees the little boy’s face. He has his eyes closed and looks totally at peace with the world.  
His mother tells him in a sort of soft voice that she barely uses, mainly when she tells Benji or his father that he loves them in quiet moments: “Meet your baby brother, Nicholas West. Nicky.”  
He can’t help but smile. “Hi, Nicky,” he says, also quietly, to not wake the baby or hurt his little ears.  
Then, his mother already asks: “Wanna hold him?”  
He nods. Of course, he does. “Be careful with his head,” his mother gently warns as she lies the baby in his arms. It’s much heavier than he would’ve expected. He can’t imagine his mother carried him in her belly. He can’t imagine that he was in her belly while he talked to him. That he’s the one he felt in there.  
“Hi, Nicky,” he repeats. “I’m your big brother. Benji.”  
He feels his father lying his arm around him and at the same time, he and his mother kiss above his head, sweet and loving.  
He looks up to them and he realizes that he’s part of this perfect little family. It’s his perfect little family.  
He looks back to his baby brother while his father finally steps away from him to take photos of him and Nicky and probably their mother too.  
While he’s at it, he for the first time shows any sign that he also noticed his friends coming in with Benji by telling them they can come closer too to meet the baby.

 

Everyone hands over their presents, but then already leaves after half an hour. Without getting to hold Nicky.  
Benji’s the only one allowed to stay, right by his mother’s side, who’s holding the baby again, with his father staying on his feet on his other side, leaning over all the time to kiss him on top of his head, or his mother, or touch the little baby in her arms.  
They ask him about school first and he tells a bit, but mainly about how he wasn’t able to concentrate because he was so excited.  
Then, he asks: “How was the birth?”  
It’s his father that answers: “Long. Your mother’s exhausted.”  
He looks into her face and... well... “You look like it.” He could’ve told that she was exhausted without his father telling him.  
“Yeah, thanks,” his mother makes but almost with a smirk.  
Well, and he didn’t mean it as an insult. It’s the truth. Just like, turning to his father: “You look exhausted too.”  
His father grins. “I know. And I didn’t even have to do half the work your mother had to do.”  
“Do you worship me now?” his mother promptly asks his father.  
Benji answers before his father can: “He always does.” Because he does. He does worship her. She does him too. They adore each other as much as they adore Benji and now his baby brother.  
His mother smirks and claims: “Yeah, since I gave birth to you.” As if that was the only reason, his father worshipped his mother.  
But he doesn’t say anything more. He knows his parents know better as well, when they share another gentle kiss.

 

Beck’s parents come by that evening and short and also quiet greetings are exchanged.  
“This is Nicholas,” Jade introduces the baby that’s again in her arms (though Beck has also hold him a few times in between by now).  
“Hi, Nicholas,” Leah softly says with the widest smile, looking at the baby, then shortly to Beck and finally to Jade: “I’m so happy to see all of you so well.”  
Jade can’t help but smile. She knows Leah means it and especially is happy to see Jade so well. It’s weird how close they grew since Benji was born.  
Nathaniel hugs Beck to congratulate him to his second child and Leah does too while Nathaniel finally takes a good look at the chld, saying: “You made another very cute baby.”  
Benji tilts his head, stuck on the ‘another’ part: “Did I look like this?” He can’t imagine. Though he has seen baby photos of himself. He looked so different than nowadays – did he look like this?  
“A bit, yeah,” Jade slowly says, running one of her hands through his hair.  
Beck promptly starts to say which parts of his face are similiar and which aren’t.  
They talk for some time like that, before Leah and Nathaniel, after both holding Nicky for a short moment, already decide to leave again. They take Benji with them. He’ll sleep over with them for the night, but Beck promises to pick him up after school tomorrow.  
Tonight, Beck’ll stay with Jade and Nicky together in this family room. That was a luxury that his parents payed for again. Jade’ll stay another night in the hospital after that, with the baby, while Beck will stay at home with Benji. As the hospital isn’t overcrowded at the moment, she’ll even get to stay alone in the room for another night, not having to get in a shared room. But she’ll only find that out tomorrow.  
For now, Jade, still lying on the bed, hugs Benji goodbye, then Beck does too, now with Nicky in his arms. Benji kisses the little boy’s cheek, before he leaves with his grandparents.  
That leaves Beck, Jade and Nicky alone once more.  
Beck sits down on the bed again, close to Jade. Jade leans against him, lies her head on his shoulder, looking down to the boy in his arms, stroking over his head.  
Softly, Beck says: “I never thought we’d be here eight years ago. I hoped but...” His voice trails off.  
Eight years ago, Jade was very pregnant with Benji. They were very much in love, but... yes, Jade also didn’t know if they would make it. They were teenagers in love with a child on the way... She wanted it to work out with Beck so badly, but that they are still so much in love, that they have a great first child and now have their wanted second child...  
Jade has to smile. It’s wonderful.  
She lifts up her head again to look at Beck. He looks back and looking into his eyes, she whispers: “I love you, Beck.”  
He kisses her, before leaning his forehead against hers. “I love you, too.”


	7. Andre's wedding

Nicky’s three months old and it’s early morning. Jade has taken him into bed with her and Beck to breastfeed him after he woke himself and then both his parents up.  
Now, the infant is lying next to Jade on the bed, on his back. Jade is turned to him, lying on her side, her hand running over the boy’s belly every now and then, having him make gurgling and happy noises.  
Beck is spooning her, his head resting on top of hers, watching their son as well.  
It’s an unusual quiet morning. Usually, they don’t have time like this in the mornings. One of them usually has to work in one way or another or they have to get up to take care of Benji or Nicky or they agreed to meet up with someone or... well... there’s just always something. Beck and Jade rarely have time to stay in bed together, already awake, but enjoying quiet time.  
“You remember how often we did this with Benji?” Beck asks quietly after a while.  
Especially during summer break, with Benji being as old as Nicky is now, they lied together like this all the time. They loved to be together and watch their little boy.  
It’s weird how stressed they felt back then and how often they still were able to do this. Well, mostly during break and they didn’t have another child already back then, who needed care as well.  
“I do,” Jade confirms. “It’s weird how different it is this time.”  
They both somehow feel like they don’t get as much quality time with Nicky as they did with Benji. Though every moment still feels so precious, they don’t feel like they get to enjoy Nicky as much as they did Benji.  
“That’s true,” Beck says. “But I love him as much as Benji.”  
He raises his head up, kisses her cheek. “And I love you so much more than back then.” He does. He feels the love so much deeper and secure inside of him.  
Jade turns a bit in his arms, onto her back. She raises her eyebrows slightly. “So you didn’t love me back then?”  
She isn’t serious, only teases him. He has to grin: “You know that’s not what I said.” Because it so isn’t. He loved her back then. He thought he couldn’t love her more. But somehow, he does love her more nowadays. He hopes he’ll feel the same in another ten years.  
Jade smiles and pulls him down into a long kiss.  
Only after a while, they both turn their attention back to Nicky, after he makes a few sounds, not unhappy but enough for his parents to get distracted from their kissing.  
They barely look back to Nicky, Beck spooning Jade again, that suddenly Benji walks in.  
“Morning,” he greets as he sees they’re awake.  
He’s still in his pajamas and both Beck and Jade are sure he can only have woken up bare minutes ago. Which is weird because he usually doesn’t come to look if his parents are up as soon as he’s awake himself, but plays for himself for a while if they don’t have to get anywhere right away.  
“Morning, baby,” Beck greets back, while Benji steps closer, all the way up to his bed, where Beck and Jade are facing him.  
“What are you doing?” he questions.  
“Looking at your brother,” Jade simply says.  
“Why?” Benji wants to know as he sits down on the bed on Nicky’s other side, where there’s still enough room for him with Beck and Jade lying so close together and a bit more on the other side of the bed. He then lies down, also turned to Nicky and his parents.  
Beck answers: “Because that’s what we did with you too back in time.”  
Benji scrunches up his nose in a way that reminds Jade so much of her little brother Jasper. “That’s weird.” Neither of his parents feel offended at that but both have to smile.  
“Why are you already awake?” Jade asks him.  
“Don’t know,” he answers. “Bad dream.”  
“N’aw, poor baby,” Jade says and leans over, over Nicky, to kiss Benji’s temple. Her hand also moves away from Nicky, grabbing the blanket between the two that’s trapped under both of them. “Come on, get under the blanket and sleep a bit more.”  
“Nah,” Benji says but still keeps lying there, doesn’t move away.  
Jade settles back but she’s close enough that her hand can still caress Benji’s hair and she does so, instead of moving it over Nicky now.  
Benji’s the one to put his own hand on Nicky’s belly, but not moving it, instead almost in a calming matter.  
It’s not Nicky who falls asleep after a while though. They lie there in silence, Jade moving her hand through Benji’s hair, when Beck finally says quietly and with a smile: “But he didn’t want to sleep.”  
Jade smirks as she corrects Beck: “He just didn’t want to get under the blanket.”  
But he is asleep now, either way. Well, if he only woke up because of a bad dream he probably still was tired.  
After a moment, Jade adds: “And don’t talk about stuff anyone said that’s wrong. You said we looked at Benji too ‘back in time’. What are we doing now?”  
She doesn’t need to check, doesn’t need to see Beck’s face to know that he hasn’t only watched Nicky, now that both their boys are lying in front of them. He has watched Benji just as much. That’s how he knew that their older son fell asleep after all.  
“You’re right,” Beck says, with a grin. “And we don’t do it nearly enough. Neither with Nicky nor with Benji.”  
Jade draws her hand back from Benji to herself as she says: “You’re such a sucker.”  
Beck raises his head from Jade’s and looks down at her amused. “For our kids?”  
Jade turns on her back and puts her hand in Beck’s neck now. “Exactly,” she says with a smirk and then pulls Beck into a kiss. A long and slow kiss.

o  
O  
o  
O  
o

Andre’s marrying Ruby, his girlfriend of almost four years. Ruby’s little cousins will be the flower kids, being 3 and 4 years old. But they made Benji the ring bearer, which the eight year old is quite proud of.  
It’s the beginning of October and the wedding’s coming up in two months. The gang’s meeting up and talking a lot about wedding preperations. Robbie couldn’t make it, but Tori brought her boyfriend Kyle. Benji also isn’t there, with his parents at Andre’s and Ruby’s home, but at a friends’ house. Beck and Jade did bring Nicky though whose barely nine months old.  
They’ve also brought a few toys for the little boy but he never cares for them too long. Instead, he crawls all over the room, exploring every inch of it, as far as he’s allowed.  
The thing is, it’s not safe for him everywhere and it happens randomly, that either Beck or Jade get up or Jade suddenly says “Snatch him up” to the one sitting closest to where Nicky is crawling, and someone jumps up and gets him.  
While they all remember Benji being fine being taken like that, just being scooped up, Nicky hates them stopping him from exploring. Every time, someone picks him up, he starts whining or outright screaming and crying and it takes some time to distract him once more. For him to then enjoy his toys for three minutes and get back to exploring again.  
He then usually explores in safe spaces for a while before starting to rattle against the kitchen stools or looking too curiously at a power outlet or taking his toys and hitting it against something.  
Just now, he has opened a cupboard and Cat has taken him back to Jade, who told her to do exactly that, but Cat’s apologizing to Nicky profusely while doing so.  
He’s whining and trying to wriggle out of Jade’s arms, but she holds on to him and says a few words to him, trying to calm him down.  
“We have to get this apartment babyproofed,” Ruby says. It isn’t because it’s not like Nicky has been over since he’s able to crawl. They all still try to see each other all the time (and succeed well enough) but it’s still often at Beck’s and Jade’s home or somewhere out. Or Beck and Jade don’t take the children with them, if both come at all.  
“It’s fine,” Beck therefore also says. Their friends don’t have to babyproof just because of Nicky. It’s also not like he will stay in this age for too long, will want to explore like this for too long, without knowing himself what’s safe and what’s not.  
“He’s still stubborn, huh?” Andre checks now, watching the child that’s still wriggling a bit in Jade’s arms, looking unsatisfied while Beck plays with a rattle next to him, trying to distract him.  
Beck himself isn’t distracted from the conversation though and pomptly answers Andre: “Like his mother.”  
That gets him a glare by Jade, while the others are amused. Well, both Jade und Beck are stubborn, that’s why their fights sometimes get so out of control. But their stubbornness shows differently and Nicky being unhappy with not being allowed certain things... yeah, that’s probably more like Jade.  
“What’s Benji up to?” Tori asks, before Jade can decide to comment.  
Nicky’s calming down in her arms and finally takes the rattle Beck played with for him.  
“He’s excited for the wedding,” Beck answers, which makes Ruby and Andre share a smile. They of course like to hear that.  
And suddenly, Beck remembers something else to report: “Oh, and have we told you he started playing hockey?”  
“Really?” Cat asks, all excited.  
“Wow,” Tori and her boyfriend pretty much make at the same time, while Andre grins: “That’s awesome.”  
“Yeah, so awesome,” Jade drawls.  
Andre turns to Jade confused. “Why don’t you like it? You love hockey!” He would’ve bet Jade’d love for her son to pursue a hobby she likes to watch.  
Jade slowly and with a cold look on her face answers: “Because players get hurt all the time and it’s bloody.” That’s the reason why she loves hockey – and why she doesn’t like her son involved in it.  
Cat’s eyes widen. She obviously also doesn’t want Benji to have to do with anything dangerous. Tori meanwhile says: “Well, that’s not true for children playing, right?” She’s sure if it’s true and someone bumps into Benji during a game in a way that actually hurts him, Jade’s faster in the rink than Beck could ever react, and hurt that other kid. Maybe, hockey isn’t the best hobby for Benji...  
Beck rubs Jade’s arm with a smile. He knows she isn’t totally happy about all of this, but he already told her that they have themselves to blame. They watch hockey regularly, as they both like it (with Jade loving it) and Benji of course has caught some games as well and likes the sport. Beck never tried it but that Benji possibly would want to after knowing the sport so well... And of course Jade still lets him, even though she isn’t happy about it. He knows she’ll also be so so proud as soon as she sees him playing for the first time.  
“Let’s see how it’ll be with children playing. We’ll let you know when he has his first game,” Beck says and Cat might not like the idea of Benji getting hurt, but getting him to see in action in any way... She claps her hands excitedly: “I wanna see him play!”

o  
O  
o

The wedding’s enormous and beautiful. Everything went well enough at the ceremony and now, they’re all at the reception and party. They brought Nicky to the ceremony as well, because Andre and Ruby liked him there. The boy is eleven months old and there was quite a big risk of him crying throughout the whole ceremony, because he doesn’t like sitting still all that much.  
But he behaved well and even was on a few photographs with bride and groom, his parents and his brother. Then, his nana picked him up while Benji stayed.  
Benji enjoys the day. His nana will pick him up too in an hour, they said, while his parents and their friends probably will celebrate throughout the night. His nana will leave his brother with their uncle Jasper to come for him.  
Now, he’s still at the party and has sat down on one of the chairs at one of the tables, looking onto the dance floor. He has danced with Ruby earlier, the beautiful bride, whom he likes very much.  
He has found his parents with his eyes now. They’re dancing. They love to dance and also taught Benji much, which he already used a lot today.  
He likes watching his parents like this, so in love and absorbed into each other, happy and content.  
But this time, it twinges inside of him to see them, to see his mother in her dress. It’s just that... he screwed up. He screwed up with his mom’s dress and his parents fought because of it, because of him, and they don’t even know. Yes, they’re happy now and he was able to distract himself from his own guilty conscience the whole day (except for when he saw his mother for the first time in the dress earlier today).  
His guilty conscience is back now. Why was he so careless? And why wasn’t he honest afterwards?  
“Hey. Everything alright?”  
That’s Tori, coming to a halt next to him, tilting her head looking at him.  
He looks back but doesn’t say a word.  
“Are you tired?” she checks.  
That’s not it. But if he says he isn’t, she knows that something else is wrong and...  
When he doesn’t say anything, she asks: “Can I sit with you?”  
He nods and she sits down on the chair next to him, also turning halfway to the dance floor, otherwise still looking at him though.  
He glances back to his parents, then to Tori again. Well... He can tell her, can’t he?  
He knows she also talks a lot but... he also knows he can trust her with a secret. Out of his parents’ closest friends, she and Robbie would definitely keep secrets for him. Cat and Andre would try to, would want to as well, but Benji knows Cat can’t keep anything for too long from Jade, while Andre’s just bad at lying.  
But Tori won’t tell his parents if he doesn’t want her to. He spills the beans: “I made a mistake.”  
They look at each other and Tori gently questions: “What kind of mistake?” She doesn’t seem surprised. Well, she came here asking him if he’s alright. She must’ve seen in his face that something’s wrong.  
“A mistake-mistake,” he answers and takes a deep breath, before he continues: “Dad brought mom’s dress from the dry cleaner” – she already bought it for some other event that didn’t happen and now it hang in the closet for a long time and she decided she wanted to get it cleaned before appearing at the wedding with it – “and it was still in the bag and...” He remembers how his father put the bag with the dress inside on the couch, putting it there as if it was sitting there.  
He picked Benji up on the way home from the dry cleaner’s and they also had Nicky with them. They got themselves a pizza on the way too.  
“We had pizza and he had to change Nicky, so I was alone and I opened the bag to see the dress.”  
His father left the room with his little brother and he realized he never saw the dress until now, didn’t see it before they brought it to the dry cleaner’s.  
“The bag was on the couch and I stood... over it with a slice of pizza and... the slice fell out of my hand on the dress.”  
“Oh,” Tori makes.  
Benji bites the inside of his cheek, then: “I tried to clean it up but it left a smudge. I panicked and just closed the bag back up and sat down, eating as if nothing was wrong.”  
Tori looks over to his parents now, too. “But your mom saw the smudge, no?”  
“Yeah,” he confirms. “When she came home, she looked at the dress and saw it and freaked.”  
She met up with a former professor of hers and initially was happy when she got home because of some potential job her professor told her about. But then, she opened the bag and looked at the dress and... well...  
He continues: “Dad told her to calm down.”  
“Oh,” Tori makes again, this time much more serious. She also knows how much Benji’s mother likes to be told to calm down.  
“Yeah,” Benji says again. “They had a big fight. She thinks the dry cleaner’s messed up and Dad should’ve checked the dress before taking it home.”  
Which his father, as he explained, didn’t, because he had Nicky with him and the day was too short for him anyway, but his mother didn’t listen to any of that.  
“And you didn’t tell them?” Tori checks.  
“I didn’t.”  
“I think you should.”  
Benji looks at her in surprise and wants to ask why’s that while swearing her to secrecy all the same.  
But before he can, she continues by her own: “Not because I think they need to know. They look like they’re over it. I think you should tell because you need to. It burdens you.”  
It does. But can he still tell them? All of that happened yesterday and their fight was really really big and he didn’t say a word then. He can’t walk up to them now and say that it’s all his fault, can he?  
Before Tori can encourage him more or he can voice his doubts, Robbie walks up to them. “Hey. What’s going on here?”  
Tori looks a moment longer at Benji still, before turning to Robbie, smiling: “Not much.”  
But Benji can tell him as well. Maybe, he has different opinion on telling his parents than Tori – an opinion he likes to hear better. “I kinda ruined my mom’s dress.”  
“Really?” Robbie says, promptly looking at the direction of the dancefloor, checking if he finds Jade, as if he could see then how Benji ruined it.  
“Yesterday,” Benji says and his father actually used the evening, after their fight calmed somewhat down, to clean the dress up, even saying that they should’ve done that directly instead of bringing it to the dry cleaner’s. He got the smudge out and when he first showed Jade, saying that no damage was done after all, she rolled her eyes at him, but after that, she was pretty much all attached to him again, showing with that how much she appreciated his work on it.  
But Jade still said she would call the dry cleaner’s to complain the next week. Benji can’t let her, can he? But they will be so damn angry with him if he’ll tell them. Especially as he, full of shame and guilt, didn’t even help his father clean the dress and instead vanished in his room, until he was done.  
His parents never were really angry with him. They love and adore him.  
He continues, giving Robbie the short version: “It made her and Dad fight. They don’t know I ruined the dress.”  
“I’m sorry,” Robbie says with a sympathetic look.  
“It’s not your fault,” Benji answers. Just like his mother he doesn’t understand why so many people apologize so often – especially with things that are definitely not on them.  
Robbie responds though: “I’m still sorry that you feel bad about it. Can we do anything to cheer you up?”  
Maybe, they could. Maybe, they could distract him. But now, Tori’s words and his guilty conscience are nagging at him. “Tori says I should tell them.”  
Before Robbie can say anything to that, they get interrupted once more though: Cat and Andre, who danced together before, come up.  
Benji checks but his parents are now dancing to the next song, starting that same moment.  
“Hey. Enjoying yourselves?” Andre asks with a cheery grin. Benji has often seen Andre happy. Never quite like this. He seems to remember that his parents smiled in a similiar way, back when they got married, though he has surprisingly little memory of that event.  
“What are you talking about?” Cat meanwhile asks interested and just as cheery as Andre. Well, she’s like that so often.  
Tori smiles. “Well, if we keep going like this, everybody knows.”  
Which is true. But Tori has the opinion anyway that Benji should tell his parents. And Benji knows he should. Then, it doesn’t do any damage to tell Cat and Andre as well, does it? Maybe, they’re able to calm him down.  
“I made a mistake that made my parents fight yesterday,” he summarizes. “They don’t know that I did it.”  
“Why didn’t you tell them?” Cat asks with wide eyes.  
Benji shrugs. It’s stupid that he didn’t tell them right away and he knows it.  
Robbie knows anyway, why he didn’t tell: “He probably doesn’t want them to get mad at him.”  
He doesn’t. He hates the thought.  
Andre claims: “I can’t imagine them getting actually mad at you.”  
“They won’t,” Cat says, insistingly.  
Weirdly, that doesn’t calm Benji down. Well, because he knows his mother would’ve been angry with him yesterday if he would’ve told her right away.  
It’s what Tori says that somehow calms him down: “And even if... They’ll still always love you.”  
“I guess,” he only answers though... yes, it’s true. This incident wouldn’t make them love him any less. Just because someone is mad with someone else, doesn’t mean they don’t love each other – his parents are proof for that, with the way they act in their love.  
And suddenly, one more time, they get interrupted: “This looks like a serious meeting.”  
That’s Beck. He and Jade saw them while they danced and decided to stop and come over, because of the serious looks in their faces, with their closest friends gathered around their son.  
Beck has his arms around Jade, his hand on her hip.  
All their friends promptly look to Benji and... he’ll tell. “It sorta is,” he confesses.  
“What about?” Jade checks, piercing her son with her eyes.  
He takes a deep breath, then: “You know how you fought yesterday because of the stain on your dress?”  
“Uhu,” Jade slowly responds.  
“I made that.”  
Both pull their eyebrows together and Beck asks: “What? How?”  
“When you looked after Nicky, I opened the bag to take a look and I dropped a slice of pizza on it.”  
Neither expected that. They share a look and Beck promptly says, almost amused and teasing: “See, it wasn’t the dry cleaner’s fault.”  
Jade isn’t having any of that. She glares at Beck. “Don’t start.”  
But she shouldn’t get angry at Beck again. Benji intervenes: “I’m sorry.”  
Both look back to him and for a moment, nobody says anything, then Jade dryly says: “Good idea to not tell me directly. I would’ve been so mad with you.”  
She means it and Benji knows anyway.  
“I should be now,” Beck notices in a mild voice. “I cleaned it, all on my own.”  
He doesn’t sound angry now, but Benji also knows that his father would have every right to be. He feels so damn guilty.  
He lowers his gaze, looks down to his own shoes, wonders what to say.  
But before he can say anything, his mother speaks up again, in that sort of rough voice that’s not truly rough: “You know though that even if we’ll ever be angry with you – and I’m sure we will be sometimes over the course of your life –, we’ll always love you.”  
Benji looks up again and can’t help but smile: “That’s what Tori said.”  
That makes his father grin and his mother shortly glance over to Tori before smirking at Benji: “Well... Even she’s bound to be right every once in a while.”  
Benji doesn’t need to check to know that Tori’s amused too.  
Then, Jade moves out of Beck’s arm to take Benji by his hand instead. “Now, come dance with your mom in her – thanks to your dad – stainless dress.”  
She looks at Beck pointedly as she mentions him and both Beck and Benji know that this is her way of kind of thanking him for cleaning her dress up, though this really really wasn’t his fault, not even by not checking the dress at the dry cleaner’s.  
Beck pulls her into kiss with a smile and Benji takes the time while his parents kiss to turn back to their friends, who watch with smiles themselves: “Okay. Thanks for listening, guys.”  
“Every time, buddy,” Andre says and Benji knows that they all think that way. They will always listen to him, always try to help him. They always have. Even though they aren’t related to him by blood, Benji knows they’re his family too.


	8. Pregnancies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome back and directly a warning: There will be talk about abortion in this chapter.  
> And a second warning: It's going to get crazy with this chapter. I find the idea funny to write about but I don't know how you'll find it to read. I understand if it's too much for someone.  
> I hope you're open to go with me down this road though. ;) Please, enjoy!

Benji has turned nine years old today. Beck and Jade can barely believe how fast he grows older. He’s still a child, but... nine years old. That’s a lot.  
Nicky also already is more than a year old, 14 months now. Time runs by so fast.  
Benji celebrated with his friends today. They had seven kids over at their house and Jade hated every minute of it. Beck allowed her to stay in their room with Nicky mostly, while he chaperoned the kids in the living room, gave them food and entertained them there with some games. They celebrated out of the house last year like most of the children do (at a fast food place, a bowling alley, even an amusement park), but Benji wanted to stay home this year and just have fun with his friends like he usually does, just meeting up, only with all of them at the same time.  
On the weekend, they’ll celebrate with their families and friends, but for today, they’re done.  
Everyone’s home, they cleaned up and Benji and Nicky are both in their beds. The family moved not too long after Nicky was born into a bigger apartment, a smaller bedroom for them, an own room for Nicky and even a small study, where they keep all their important documents (especially about finances) and where each can write scripts in peace or learn lines or alike.  
Jade sold her first script a few months ago and now got asked for another one which she’s working on. Her professor introduced her to some people in the business that seem to like her work as far as she was able to show them until now.  
Beck’s series meanwhile just ended filming its fifth and last season. He has a few auditions lined up and has a small spot in a movie that he’ll film this summer.  
Both know it’ll be more difficult now, with him not having a secure job for a whole year, every time the series gets renewed. But they never spent all that money, Beck earned so regularly, because they knew, eventually it would happen all the time, as long as they stayed in this business, that neither would have a job for a few months and they would have to live off of their savings. That’s why they always saved as much as possible, without denying Benji and Nicky all that much.  
Jade has thought about all of it a lot. About money and their jobs and her prospect of being able to work from home (though she’ll also have an audition for a spot in a very dark horror movie next week). And about their children and about that study that neither Beck nor she really need because they’re perfectly fine working in the living room around their kids or when both of them are in bed and it’s just the two of them – or alone in their bedroom, if absolutely necessary.  
Beck’s exhausted from the day and lies on the couch. Jade brought him something to drink and now lies on top of him, knowing that that’s the thing giving him the most strength: them being close. Just like it gives her the most strength.  
It’s just them. The TV isn’t running, there’s no music playing. Jade’s sure to hear Beck’s heartbeat like she has done so often before. Somehow, it’s one of the most beautiful sounds in the world for her and hearing it always comforts her.  
And especially when she feels at comfort like this lately, but also in so many other moments, she thinks of a certain thing. She guesses this isn’t the best time to ask him about it; when he’s exhausted from his child’s birthday party, exhausted from an activity concerning one of their children.  
But if he agrees now, it’d show her that he wants it.  
She closes her eyes for another moment, then quietly: “Ever think about having a third child?”  
The question must’ve come out of nowhere for him. When she was pregnant with Nicky, they both randomly mentioned that some day they might want yet another child. But since then...  
He doesn’t hesitate much though, maybe doesn’t even wonder about Jade’s question as he’s exhausted from Benji and his friends and maybe it’s plausible in his opinion for her to wonder about him wanting another child after that.  
“I do. Wanna have another some day?”  
“Not some day,” Jade directly answers, now sitting up, moving out of that total comfort in Beck’s arms.  
Beck sits up as well, surprised. “You want another one now?”  
“In roughly a year maybe,” Jade says with a smirk, referring to the fact that she still would need to get pregnant and couldn’t have that child right now if she wanted to. Then, she explains, with Beck just looking at her, his expression still showing surprise: “I just think... Nicky starts getting a little independent” – he started saying his first words by now, already walks and of course still is far from being indepent from them, but still... he won’t need diapers for that much longer, doesn’t get nursed anymore and will walk and talk without problems soon enough – “and... I want to have another child, but I can’t really imagine right now to have Benji almost off to college, Nicky as independent as Benji’s right now and then having to take care of another infant.” Going back to that around the clock care was tougher than Jade imagined with Nicky. Now again getting used to not having to wake up in the middle of the night to take care of someone and then having another child... She can’t imagine it.  
Beck’s face has turned thoughtful. “I get that. We don’t have to wait that long.”  
He still isn’t sure if they should start making a baby right now. They also could do that in a year or alike and they would still be used to take care of young child when the next comes along.  
Jade gives him time to think for a moment, while she takes a sip to drink. Then, he asks: “You think we could make it work now?”  
Could they make it work with Nicky still being so little, maybe barely two years old when the third child would come along, if they’d make a new baby now, with Benji also still asking so much from them. With him being freshly out of a job.  
She knows his thoughts and simply answers: “I do. Both of us have career prospects and we manage our time quite well.”  
“We do,” he actually agrees to that.  
They already learned how to manage their time when they had Benji. With having to go to school, both still wanting to see their friends regularly and take part in many of the school’s projects and shows, they learned how to split their time, how to work with a child around, how to ask the other one to step up if either needs time for something else. They don’t even need their parents’ help anymore, not really. They try to work everything around their children. With Jade now having the opportunity to earn real money with writing and therefore being able to be totally flexible with her time...  
But just because it might fit right now, they don’t need to have a child. Jade’d like to, but this isn’t her decision alone to make, she knows. And she won’t push Beck into anything, just like he would never push her into anything.  
That’s why she says: “If you don’t want to have another child now, it’s fine.”  
She guesses, with other people you still would have to wonder if they mean that, if it really was fine for them, but Beck has to know that she means it.  
He looks at her for another moment, before he shakes his head: “No. I... I didn’t think about it at the moment. But I like the idea. I really do.”  
They look at each other for a minute more, then Jade leans forward and kisses Beck. She knows he means it. They’ll talk about this again before they’ll quit protecting but this sounds good.  
“Say you love me,” Jade whispers against Beck’s lips after the kiss.  
“Magic word?” Beck asks with a smile.  
“Please.”  
“I love you.”

 

It’s the end of April and the group of friends as well as three of Ruby’s friends help Andre and Ruby move from their apartment into a house.  
While Jenny, one of Ruby’s friends, left her kid home with her boyfriend, Beck and Jade brought Benji and Nicky. They thought about leaving them with one of their parents but their friends said in their group chat that they’d like Benji and Nicky there as they apparently don’t see them nearly enough.  
Benji said he’d help right away anyway when he first heard about them moving – and he was still up for it and indeed is a big help with his nine years. The still not even one and a half year old Nicky’s in the way more than anything else, but nobody’s bothered by that.  
Ruby’s friends adore Nicky. They have only shortly met him before at the wedding. But they obviously like him, talk to him every time they pass him and smile at him.  
But while Jade likes Ruby and is fine with her even picking Nicky up every now and then, she doesn’t like her friends. Especially now with them... fussing over her child, trying to take it in.  
Unlike Benji at that age, Nicky doesn’t care at all about what or whom his mother likes. He has his own will and only protests them touching him in any way if he tries to get somewhere and they’re keeping him from that.  
Benji still does care, though. Differently than when he was at that age. At that age, he didn’t do it consciously. Nowadays, he’s aware of his mother’s feelings and... he doesn’t like when she’s upset. And it’s so easy for him to take Nicky out of Ruby’s friends’ arms if he’s in there or to guide him away when they’re trying to talk to him. He can do it with a childish sort of charm (well, and the charm he inherited from his father), while his mother would only appear over-protective, over-possessive or just bitchy doing the same.  
That’s why during the move, Nicky’s at Benji’s side mostly, instructed by him. He also gives him small tasks, lets him carry little things into the same room where he needs to bring something, to keep him close and interested all the same. He’s a good big brother – and a good son to Jade, without a doubt.  
After they’ve finally carried everything inside, they make a break to drink and eat, before they want to set up the furniture.  
It’s then that Alyssa, Ruby’s best friend, says with a big smile: “I like this house. Especially as there’s enough room for kids.”  
All of the friends are amused. The house indeed is big enough.  
Andre and Ruby meanwhile share a look and Ruby answers, an own smile building wildly on her face: “Well... There is a child on the way.”  
Everyone’s eyes widen. “You’re pregnant?” another one of Ruby’s friends checks.  
She nods and so does Andre, him now looking between his own friends. Cat squeals and some of the others also cheer while they charge forward to pull both Andre and Ruby into hugs.  
While Beck and Jade wait for their turn, behind their sons, Benji having pulled Nicky to the couple as well, telling him that he pretty much is getting a baby cousin, they share a look. So, they weren’t the only ones thinking about having a child lately.

The furniture is set up and somehow, Beck and Jade managed to vanish to the new study while everyone else is enjoying the housewarming party that directly followed up the move.  
They’re making out and at some point, Beck whispers: “Looks like our third child has a little friend already.” In Andre and Ruby’s child that’s due in the beginning of October as the couple told by now.  
Jade smirks. “Our third child still needs to be made. That could still take years.” Their friends’ child could easily end up being closer in age to Nicky than to their third child. They’re only trying now for a month.  
Beck pulls her into another kiss. “Mh. We should have sex around the clock to make sure it works fast.” To make sure they’ll have another baby quick. As if sex around the clock would mean Jade gets pregnant more quickly, though all the sex in the world wouldn’t matter if she isn’t in the fertile stage of the month.  
Of course, he knows that, still she comments sarcastically: “You totally understand how making babies works, huh?”  
They smirk at each other, then they kiss again and only get interrupted once more by a cry that’s undoubtedly Nicky’s. Okay, it sounds like he has hurt himself. And while he otherwise is totally independent – when he hurts, he almost only lets his parents comfort him.  
That’s why there’s promptly also Benji’s voice, calling out for them: “Mom? Dad?”  
Everyone possibly only now noticed that they were gone. Beck and Jade look at each other for another short moment, before Jade says: “And those are the reasons why we can’t have sex around the clock.”  
That makes Beck smirk again. “Too bad.”  
They share another short peck on the lips before they leave the study, meeting Benji with a crying Nicky in the hallway, searching for them.

 

It’s more than four months later, at the end of August with Ruby only having one and a half months to go.  
Life is stressful at times and Beck and Jade didn’t have enough time alone – especially when it counted. There was that one week where Jade was sure she was furtile that Nicky was seriously sick for the very first time and... yeah, they weren’t in the mood.  
Because of that, Jade’s surprised that she’s pregnant already again. At least, she’s sure she’s pregnant. After two pregnancies, she really starts to know about her body and how it reacts. She has this feeling in her tummy again – and in her breasts. Those feel quite sensitive and not like... normal sensitive how they sometimes feels during her menstrual circle, but more how it felt in her previous pregnancies.  
So, she does a test and it’s positive.  
She bought it after bringing Benji to school. Beck’s home today. He’s learning his lines for a small spot on a series, for which he has to film next week. Jade herself is going to an audition later today. The role would require her to film in a month and she got the audition a few weeks ago when she was sure, she wouldn’t be visibly pregnant at that moment. She still doesn’t like the thought of being pregnant on camera, just like back when she was 15.  
She will also have to continue writing on a script. She kind of got together with two other writers she met through her professor and they got the idea for this horror short series and they pretty much sold the idea. They have to write the scripts now and work through it with the network. It’s all amazing, because she loves that idea. (Though now, having to work on it and having a timeline... she realizes that she doesn’t work well that way. Maybe, after her next pregnancy, she would rather go back to acting for an actual job and only write if she wants to. She can imagine that Beck could work better with those timelines and he also writes such good things.)  
Anyway... Right now, she’s home and has just done the pregnancy test.  
Beck’s sitting at the kitchen counter, the script and a cup of coffee in front of him. Well, Jade has to stop drinking coffee again. She barely has drinken all that much. She also didn’t drink much when she breast-fed Nicky, only when she absolutely craved it, and now, during the last year, hasn’t really picked it back up. Though she still likes her occasional coffee, especially when she smells it when Beck’s making himself one. She’ll try to avoid it again.  
She’s coming into the room that holds their living room and kitchen. Nicky’s playing in a corner in the living space, where he has his toys. He has still eaten his breakfast when Jade has left with Benji. Beck cleaned him up by now, and can have only put him to his toys very little time ago.  
Jade guesses she will play with the boy before her audition. Beck will take care of him for the rest of the day with Jade still having to write that script.  
Now, she’s walking from the bathroom, where she did the test, directly to Beck though. She lies the test in front of him, onto his script.  
He pulls his eyebrows together and picks it up. Then, he looks up. “This is a pregnancy test, right?”  
“Are you asking me?”  
Beck can’t believe it. He hasn’t expected anything like this at the moment. And he feels like he needs to remind Jade, just to let her know what adds to his confusion: “You do realize I never saw one, don’t you?”  
Which is true. She told him about his previous two pregnancies without showing him the test she made before.  
“I guess you didn’t,” she therefore says, dryly. “Congrats to your first one.”  
Beck looks back to the test, looking at the two lines he sees. Then he looks at Jade again. “It’s positive?”  
Jade cocks an eyebrow, amused. “Would I show it to you if it wasn’t?”  
Of course, she wouldn’t but it’s a little surreal for Beck. Especially with seeing the pregnant Ruby every other week, hearing Andre talk about his excitement about having a baby... he got really excited for his own third child. And that that suddenly will be...  
He puts the test down again and jumps up with the biggest grin. He pulls Jade into a kiss, then a tight hug, then a much more passionate kiss. She returns all, with a big grin herself.

 

They’re a at the doctor’s office two weeks later. Jade’s still going to the same gynacologist that cared for her during her first two pregnancies.  
He’s doing an ultrasound now. Benji’s in school once again while Nicky is with Robbie. Robbie’s finally in town again and they asked him to take him, claiming they would like some time alone, with both having a free morning. Robbie said he’d loved to watch Nicky.  
Beck stands next to Jade, who’s lying down, her belly free. The doctor looks at the monitor, moving the ultrasound device around on the belly.  
It takes longer than the last two times they had their first ultrasound. Then, the doctor finally says: “Congrats! You’re having twins.”  
It’s silent after that. Deadly silent.  
Finally, Jade turns to Beck, whose face has lost all color. “Did you tell him to mess with me?”  
She wouldn’t know when he could’ve told her doctor. He wasn’t alone with him for one second and also wasn’t the one to call to make this appointment. But there can’t be another explanation. This has to be a joke and she knows her doctor wouldn’t do that without Beck asking him to.  
“I didn’t,” Beck says, looking at her bewildered, then back to the doctor: “Are you serious?”  
“Yes,” the doctor confirms. “Look.”  
He turns the monitor for both of them to see. And he points out the two little blobs. And the two tiny beating hearts.  
Jade feels her chest tighten. She has trouble breathing. She feels Beck taking her hand in his and squeezing it way too hard. She looks up to him and he looks back, both with wide eyes. This can’t happen. This wasn’t the plan.  
The doctor notices that they’re freaked out but tells them to stay calm, that they have a supporting family after all, and then makes sure the two children inside of Jade are fine. Jade’s ten weeks pregnant and their doctor’s sure that they are identical twins. They’re due April eighth.

Beck looks totally shell-shocked when they’re back in the car. Jade knows he hasn’t totally realized what this means. She has.  
She feels completely powerless. And as stupid as she hasn’t felt in years. What was she thinking?  
“What did we do, Beck?” she bursts out, as soon as the doors of the car are closed and they’re alone. “Why did we think we should have even one more child? And now two? How stupid am I?”  
This happened because she’s a complete idiot. Suddenly, she realizes that she shouldn’t have gotten pregnant again, no matter what. They still have Benji and Nicky to take care of. Nicky’s still so young and needs them so much. And Benji might’ve grown more independent, but he’s also still a child and deserves time alone with them. Or time at all with them.  
And what’s with their jobs? Jade wants to work. She knows Beck does too. And honestly: They also have to work. How else can they support their children and themselves? She doesn’t want to ask their parents for financial help again. God, doesn’t she want to ask their parents! For any help, really.  
But wouldn’t they have needed to already with one more child? With three all in all?  
And now they’re expecting two more instead of just one. This can’t be happening!  
“You’re not stupid,” Beck is quick to say and then, silence between them.  
Until Beck murmurs under his breath, blankly staring in front of him: “God.”  
Jade takes a shaky breath. It’s starting to sink in with Beck. The horror of the situation. And in just a few minutes he will feel the same panic as she does. This overwhelming, blinding panic.  
For now, he takes a deep breath though, not as shaky as hers. “Let’s drive home.”  
She can’t help but roll her eyes. “Great idea,” she says sarcastically. They can’t very well stay in the parking lot of her doctor’s office forever.

They don’t talk on the way home, only again after Beck stops the car in their own driveway.  
Neither of them directly gets out. Instead, they sit in silence for a while, then Jade says: “We shouldn’t tell Benji yet. Until we know what to do about this.”  
They don’t have to agree on it to both know that Benji should be the first to know. With Nicky, but Nicky won’t understand yet. Only then, they will tell their family and their friends, Robbie as well, even when they pick Nicky up later from his place.  
Beck nods, then it’s silent for another moment, before Beck suddenly asks, looking Jade directly in the eye: “You’re not thinking about abortion, are you?”  
They’ve thought about it when she was pregnant with Benji. Because they were so young and didn’t know what to do. He wasn’t planned but an accident. And... well... One of these children inside of Jade now is kind of an accident too, but... They planned the pregnancy. They wanted to have another child. He can’t imagine aborting these children – though even now he thinks it should be Jade’s decision in the end.  
Jade looks at him for another moment, then she suddenly turns away and leaves the car.

 

They pretend that everything’s okay for the rest of the day. They’re good at pretending. Better than back when Jade was pregnant with Benji. And even then there were times when they were absolutely able to pretend like she wasn’t pregnant, when they pretended they weren’t scared.  
Jade picks up Nicky, while later, after school, Beck gets Benji and after they spend some time together, Beck leaves for a get together with his agent and some other people from the business.  
Jade tucks both her boys into bed before Beck comes home. It works easily enough tonight. Maybe, both children sense that she can’t stand any trouble at the moment. At least, Nicky doesn’t protest though he almost always does when he has to go to bed. And Benji often uses his bedtime to ask serious questions about life and decisions nowadays. He doesn’t today and Jade is glad for it, because she doesn’t have the nerve to answer difficult questions at the moment – not to mention that she feels tremendously stupid at the moment and not able to answer any question.  
She’s relaxing on the couch afterwards. Or not relaxing. Her mind is racing while she’s staring in an empty space. What will she do at a night like this, her home alone with the kids, Nicky not wanting to go to sleep, Benji with thousand questions and then two screaming infants?

Beck’s mind is racing too and he doesn’t pay as much attention at the get together as he should. These kind of things are so important, meeting and knowing people is so important in the business Jade and he are in. And he needs to be successful in this business, now more then ever.  
At least he hopes, Jade will decide that way. That they’re going to have these children. But then he will have to support a family of six. With only 26 years of age by the time, the twins will be born.  
He finds Jade lying on the couch at home when he comes back.  
“Hey, babe,” he greets her and leans down to kiss her. Both linger in the kiss a tad longer than usual.  
Then he goes to check up on Nicky and Benji. That’s what both of them do when the kids are already in bed when either arrives home.  
He goes in both their rooms and finds them fast asleep, looking content and happy as they should. He kisses each their foreheads before he goes back into the living room.  
Jade has sat up by now and he gets both of them something to drink, before he sits down next to her.  
And it’s almost as if they’ve discussed it the whole day, as if they talked about it just now, as Jade suddenly says: “We can’t have four children, Beck. We shouldn’t even have gone for a third.”  
He knows it’s crazy and terrible but... does this mean, she wants an abortion? He still doesn’t want that.  
That’s why he gently reminds her: “We’re doing good with Benji and Nicky.”  
Because they do. They work well as a family. Heck, that’s why they wanted another child. That they’re now getting two... Well, that’s just their luck. Like they’ve got one as teens though they counted on getting zero.  
They look at each other for several seconds, before Jade finally says, quietly: “I don’t want to abort but... I can’t believe this is happening.”  
It relieves Beck immensely to hear that abortion is off the table.  
For a second he thinks it makes him think straighter, but then he realizes that he’s relieved but... yeah, okay, now they’ll have four children. He knows Jade also won’t think about giving the twins up for adoption or alike. They already decided back with Benji that neither of them could stand something alike.  
But how will they be able to raise four children?  
“I know,” he therefore says and adding, only in a whisper: “I’m scared.”  
Jade takes a shaky breath again, their eyes locked into each other. Then, quieter than him: “Me, too.”  
The next moment, they hug tightly and she can’t help but start crying. She hasn’t cried for years now, since Benji has been little (not counting Nicky’s birth because that’s a whole other story). Maybe, the hormones are already getting to her, the hormones of this new pregnancy.  
He’s glad either way. Glad that she’s letting it out, that she’s sharing it with him, after she tried to surpress it at the beginning back with Benji.

Her tears are dried and she’s exhausted. Beck and she are still holding each other. She knows that Beck hasn’t cried. He never does. He just isn’t wired that way. Well, she usually also doesn’t cry.  
Anyway... She’s sure that Beck still feels just as exhausted, just by holding her like this. And that he at the same time draws strength out of their hug as she does.  
Suddenly, there’s Benji’s voice: “What’s going on?”  
Beck and Jade break apart. Benji has stepped into the living room and in front of the couch without them noticing, too absorbed into each other.  
He looks sleepy – well, he can only have woken up just now. Beck has been with him about... half an hour ago, has kissed him, and he definitely wasn’t awake then.  
Jade isn’t sure if her son can see she cried. She guesses he can’t. Because the tears are dried by now and she knows her eyes don’t get puffy or alike through such a short cry she had just now.  
But he’s a perceptive nine year old, always so tuned in on his parents. Maybe, he has already gathered earlier that something was wrong. “Is one of you sick?”  
Beck and Jade share a glance. They only wanted to tell him when they felt better about this whole mess themselves. But if he’s asking like this... He shouldn’t think one of them is sick, possibly seriously.  
“Tell me,” he demands, while they still look at each other.  
Beck almost has to smile. He can sound so much like Jade.  
Jade’s the one to outright say it: “I’m pregnant.”  
Benji tilts his head with a curious look in his eyes: “That’s great, isn’t it?” A second, then: “Didn’t you want it?”  
Beck slowly says: “We wanted it, but...” And yeah, he doesn’t even know if he can say it, if he’s able to say those words.  
Jade does: “I’m pregnant with twins.”  
“That’s even better!” Benji says, his eyebrows pulled together though. He obviously gets that his parents for some reason don’t deem it all that good.  
His mother puts it into perspective with a rough voice: “That means we have two more children to take care off. Next to you and Nicky.”  
“I’m doing fine on my own,” Benji claims in a casual tone.  
Jade pretty much rolls her eyes while Beck says: “You’re only nine years old. And should have all the freedoms that age brings.”  
They should have time to drive him to his friends or hobbies. They should have time to still play with him. He never should feel obliged to actually take care of one of his siblings. He should always feel able to come to them with his problems without having to be afraid that he would stress them out more than they already are.  
It’s silent for another moment, then Benji tilts his head again, softly asking: “Did you feel like this when you got pregnant with me?”  
Because he might not notice that Jade cried, but he can still see how awful they feel, how scared and desperate.  
Gosh. And how does he make connections like that. Suddenly, Jade knows this is almost exactly how both of them felt when she got pregnant with Benji. It’s the same powerless feeling, the same fear. God.  
But how can they tell Benji that when he sees how they feel now? How can they tell him that they were this damn scared, just because he existed.  
They share another glance, before Jade carefully says: “A little. But you know we love you more than anything now.”  
Because that’s the important part. Not how they felt when they first knew about him, but how much they have loved him ever since, and that they’ve treated him right ever since.  
Easily, Benji says: “You’ll feel the same about the new babies.”  
Okay, Benji knew where he was going with that. And Jade and Beck can’t help to share a look and be impressed. Benji’s right, isn’t he?  
They felt just as lost when they were pregnant with him. But it turned out fine. It wasn’t all easy, but they managed. And yes, they love him to the moon and back. They will love these babies the same and will manage as well. With help, if needed. Times might get difficult, but they were with Benji too.  
Finally, Jade smirks, opening her arms. “If they turn out as wonderful as you, that’s probably true.”  
Benji walks into her arms, like he still almost always does, when she’s opening them like this, and she pulls him closer and kisses his temple, before she hugs him tightly. Beck ruffles his hair before he hugs both of them, smiling.

After a long hug, Beck and Jade tuck Benji into bed again, only to find themselves alone on the couch once more afterwards.  
“We will make it, won’t we?” Jade asks, as soon as they sit down.  
Beck nods. “We will.” Hearing Benji say those words, being close to him have convinced both of them.  
They kiss and keep holding each other, while Jade says: “Tell me you love me.”  
“Magic word,” Beck responds.  
Jade rolls her eyes, playful though: “I’m having two more of your children.”  
Beck grins. “That’s a long magic word but yes, that’s it.” He kisses her again and then quietly and earnestly says: “I love you, Jade. I love with every fiber of your being.”  
That makes her smile, before they kiss again, falling back on the couch.


	9. Help

They decide to tell their parents early. So much can still happen, in such an early state of the pregnancy, but... they know they’ll need help again. They hope it won’t be nearly as much as back with Benji. Jade’s mother isn’t supposed to change her working hours again or alike. But they’re sure they’ll need someone to take the kids every now and then, if only for them to get a break. With four kids then and three still so little...  
They feel terrible about it, they feel terrible about the fact that they almost expect help from their parents again but... that’s how it is. And they don’t want to exploit their parents or anything. They do need to know their parents have their backs again, just in case. What else will they do if everything gets to be too much?  
But before they’re telling their parents, on the same day for which they invited their families to dinner, they decide to tell Nicky too.  
Nicky’s still only 20 months old and won’t really understand, but they still think they should outright tell him. Or let Benji.  
They tell Benji they’re gonna tell their parents in the morning and he of course asks if he can do it. But this time, they decide he can’t. Instead, Jade suggests him telling his little brother.  
Nicky’s still sleeping during that conversation, but Beck gets him out of bed not too long after, so they can all eat breakfast together.  
It’s there that Benji, who sits next to him, turns to Nicky, who’s munching on some bread: “Nicky, you wanna know what?”  
“What?” the little boy asks, curious right away.  
“Mommy is pregnant,” Benji says excited.  
Nicky scrunches up his face, in such a different way than his brother did and does: “What mean?”  
He looks over to Jade who watches her sons’ conversation with a tilted head.  
Benji answers: “That she’s gonna have another baby.”  
“No,” Nicky says, now looking almost offended.  
Well. Either he doesn’t want a younger sibling or he doesn’t understand what’s going on and only uses his go-to answer to have anything to say. Beck isn’t too sure which one it is. Though he doesn’t think Nicky would get, by just hearing his mother’s gonna have another baby, that they might have less time for him or alike. There’s no reason why he would hate the idea of a sibling with only being 20 months old and not having one yet and suffering because of it or alike.  
Benji doesn’t take it too serious in any way and only answers: “Yes. But it’ll be some more months before we can welcome them into our family.”  
“Why?” Nicky uses his second favorite word to ‘no’.  
Benji doesn’t take it as Nicky asking why it still takes so long but why their parenty will have another child.  
Smugly, he answers, running his hand through his little brother’s hair: “Because Mommy and Daddy thought we were so perfect, they wanted to have another one of us.”  
That’s of course one way to look at it. Beck has to grin and Jade smirks too, saying: “That’s true.”

 

The whole family is there for dinner again. Beck’s parents, Jade’s parents, including her stepmother, and Jasper, who’s already 17 years old. Jade has the same bewildered feeling looking at her little brother than when she looks at Benji. That same bewildered feeling about how quick time runs past them, how fast it passes. Wasn’t he just born a few days ago? And now he’s thinking about college. It’s ridiculous.  
Beck’s parents ask about Jasper’s choice of college interested during dinner and then, they all chat about different occupations and alike.  
Only after dinner, Beck and Jade share a look and Jade takes out the three copies of their sonogram which she placed upside down on her chair before, sitting down on top of it.  
“We have news,” she says as she hands one copy to her father, who can look at it with his wife, one to her mother, to whom Jasper immediately leans to be able to see as well, and one to Beck’s mother, who shares it with her husband.  
“You’re pregnant again!” her mother says with barely having looked at it and wants to put it aside and stand up, probably to come around the table and hug Jade with joy. She has a big grin spreading across her face.  
“Look at it,” Jade quickly says though and demanding enough that her mother stops in her tracks and looks back at the picture in her hand.  
Beck’s mother who has started smiling already as well, carefully checks: “It is a sonogram, no?”  
Stephanie, Jade’s stephmother, has tilted her head. “I can’t see the baby.” But her voice is light. Without a doubt she knows as well that this has to be about Jade being pregnant, that this shows a baby, even if she doesn’t see it.  
It’s Beck’s father who’s able to see it first, asking in almost only a breath: “Are there two?”  
Everything falls from Jade’s mother’s face. “Are there?”  
Jasper’s eyes widen too as he looks at his older sister: “You’re pregnant with twins?”  
Jade looks around, everyone but her two sons and Beck staring back at her with wide eyes.  
“I am,” she confirms after taking a deep breath.  
“Oh, wow,” her mother says but not in an actual impressed way or alike. But still, she shows an honest smile, putting the sonogram down and standing up. “Congratulations!”  
She walks around the table and hugs Jade, who stands up as well.  
Everyone else quickly follows and yes, their families are obviously happy. This is still not close to their reactions about Jade’s first pregnancy back in time, but their joy is still somewhat subdued and also not like when Jade announced her last pregancy.  
Because they know what this means for the whole family. But also because they see how much trouble Beck and Jade are having with it themselves.  
“Are both of you okay?” Leah asks after hugging first Beck and then Jade.  
“We wanted another child but...” Beck starts and shrugs.  
Caitlyn finishes the thought: “You didn’t count on having twins.”  
They didn’t. They so didn’t.  
Beck’s mother smiles carefully, ruffling Nicky’s hair. The little boy still sits on his chair and watches the commotion mildy interested. “Well, I for one am sure you’ll do great. And don’t forget that we’re all here for you.”  
It’s not like Jade hasn’t known their families would stand by them, would offer their support once more. It’s not like she hasn’t almost expected it. But with all of them standing around them, including Benji, she feels it so deep in her heart and it makes her calm down.

 

Jade’s only twelve weeks pregnant, it’s the end of September, only about a week after they told their families about the new pregnancy. Under other circumstances, they probably wouldn’t even have thought about telling their friends about it at this point. They only told about Nicky when she was seventeen weeks pregnant. Sure, they did Benji earlier as well, with Jade being about fourteen weeks pregnant, but those also were such different circumstances.  
This time, they don’t tell them so early because they expect twins. They know their friends will be surprised but that there’s no risk of them judging them for it – they felt there was a risk back when they got pregnant with Benji, which luckily didn’t turn out to be true.  
They want to tell them now, because once more they’ll all be together on this Saturday, which honestly doesn’t happen all that much anymore. And if they get the chance to tell all their friends at the same time, they want to take it. It might happen that they all get together again. But that all depends on Ruby. She’s due with her and Andre’s daughter soon and depending on when she allows all of them to visit and if they’re all in town, they could meet then once more, before Robbie’ll go back to San Francisco where he lives at the moment, and Cat might be too wrapped up in her upcoming music career.  
Cat brought her boyfriend Ryan for all of them to meet him. As Andre introduced the two of them he of course already knows Ryan, but neither of the others do yet.  
And who cares if he knows about the pregnancy already as well?  
They definitely don’t want to hang around Andre’s and Ruby’s new born and tell everyone there that Jade’s pregnant again as well and expecting twins. The attention should be on Andre’s young family at that point.  
Though Jade guesses she herself wouldn’t care, she gets that others could feel awful about it like about an other engagement being announced on your wedding.  
So they’re glad to meet their closest friends all together still before the birth of Andre’s child and decide to tell them there and then about the twins, though it’s still extremely early in the pregnancy.  
Benji and Nicky are with their grandparents, so it’s just the grown-ups.  
They’re out for dinner together and first, they talk a lot about Ryan (Jade making him uncomfortable like she likes to do, especially with new partners of her friends’), then about what each of them is up to.  
It’s after Jade and Beck have told the others about Benji’s interest in learning Japanese because there’s a new boy in his class that just immigrated with his family and about Nicky’s new ‘dance moves’ that are simply adorable and surprisingly on beat, which they of course took videos of and show to their friends.  
Putting his phone away again, Beck makes sure with a look to Jade that it’s the time to tell, then he says: “By the way... We thought we’d tell you already, now that we have all of you together and your child isn’t born yet,” – he indicates Andre – “so we don’t steal your thunder... But Jade’s pregnant.”  
Everyone beams immediately. Nobody has expected those kind of news but they’re quick to congratulate, standing up to hug their friends, with Andre commenting, grinning: “Don’t worry! Nothing can steal my thunder!”  
“It’s not all,” Beck knows to say though, while their friends partly still wait their turns to hug each Beck and Jade, before anyone can ask how far along Jade is.  
Jade’s the one to speak it out loud, after sharing another look with Beck: “We’re having twins.”  
The eyes of their friends widen. “Seriously?” Tori asks, the first one to recover. Then, Cat claps her hands excitedly, jumping up and down, as if these are the best news she ever got.  
“Wow,” Andre meanwhile states. “You can’t do normal, huh?”  
It’s teasing and weirdly, it makes both Beck and Jade feel better. “You’re telling us,” Beck dryly says.  
Robbie’s the one to ask: “How’re you feeling?”  
Beck and Jade share a look, before Beck responds truthfully: “A bit like back when we found out about Benji. But he himself and our parents already somewhat calmed us down.”  
Robbie, Andre and Tori look at them with utmost sympathy. Even Ryan does, though he doesn’t know them. They all know how hard it will be. And yet, Beck and Jade know they are also happy for them.  
It’s Cat, who takes both by their arms and suddenly gets serious, despite her earlier excitement, softly: “We’re always here for you, you know that, yes?”  
The friends are sure to not only hear Beck reply with a smiling yes, but Jade too, much more quiet.

 

Sharon is born on the second of October, Andre’s and Ruby’s beautiful baby girl.  
The friends mostly don’t end up visting at the same time – and not right after the birth unlike with Nicky. Jade gets it. It’s different. Firstable: The group of friends also were her friends and she could imagine Ruby allowing her own friends with her sooner after the birth. Not to mention that she gets that it feels different for every woman and some need more time alone. Maybe, Andre and she also need time to become a family before allowing anyone around.  
Beck and she get to visit a week after the birth, with Benji and Nicky, as they didn’t have time the day before when Tori already visited.  
Ruby’s mother is there and is the one to open the door. They introduce themselves to her before she lets them in and hurries off to get them drinks though they tell her they don’t need anything.  
Andre and Ruby are on the couch together, little Sharon in Ruby’s arms.  
Andre stands up as soon as he sees them coming inside. His face is so full of joy that Beck can’t help but grin back. He loves seeing his best friend like this.  
He’s also the first to hug Andre. “Congrats! To both of you!”  
Both thank him before Ruby gets distracted by Benji, who walked up straight to her, and now asks carefully: “Can I take a look?”  
Ruby nods. “If you want to, you can hold her.”  
“Really?” Benji asks, all excited and when Ruby nods again with a gentle smile, Benji’s quick to sit down on the couch next to her, knowing how careful to be with an infant from when Nicky was still so little.  
Jade’s carrying Nicky and hugs Andre with him in her arms, also congratulating him.  
Ruby gently places Sharon in Benji’s arms.  
“Hi. Sharon, is it?” Benji checks. His parents have shown him the text Andre has sent them in their group chat, from after the birth that showed a pic and the girl’s name.  
“That’s right,” Andre says proudly while Ruby stands up and gets also hugged by first Beck, then Jade. She also runs her hand through Nicky’s hair, absolutely lovingly.  
Jade looks at the young couple in front of her. It’s the first time she actually witnesses someone close to her becoming a parent, other than Beck and herself. Her family is small, her only cousin is older than her and he doesn’t have kids of his own yet (they also don’t keep in touch). Her own mother obviously already was one before she gave birth to her younger brother. His father was already out of her life when her little brother was born.  
She wondered if it’s not only something inside the person that changes but something that shows. Obviously, Beck changed in her eyes when they had Benji. But she wondered, if they changed in everyone else’s eyes too.  
She feels like Andre and Ruby both already changed with her getting pregnant. Not in a way she could describe, but still... The same seems to hold true now. And she honestly thinks parenthood looks good on them on first sight. Though it feels strange seeing the baby in her son’s arms and knowing that it’s Andre’s. After she already knows Andre for so long and met him when he definitely wasn’t mature enough to have a child. Well... Beck and she had their first when they weren’t mature enough to have one, really.  
Jade sits down next to Benji, to also get a look at Sharon, who doesn’t look even close to as cute as Benji and Nicky did back in time, but who’s still so much cuter than most babies in her eyes.  
She takes Nicky on her lap and he also curiously leans to his brother to see Sharon.  
Benji informs him, grinning: “We get two of these too, soon.”  
Jade snorts and Andre laughs out, while saying: “Of these... Great way to phrase it.”  
Benji only shrugs and Beck finally turns to Andre again. “How does it feel to be a father?” he echoes the question Andre asks him all those years back when he came to school the day after Benji’s birth.  
Andre also remembers. “You were right! It feels weird.”  
“But in the best way, huh?” Beck asks and both men look over to each their first born child, before Beck lets his eyes wander over to Nicky and then to Jade, the woman who gave him his beautiful children.  
Andre has only eyes for little Sharon, understandably, and quietly he says: “Yeah.”

 

Beck and Jade want to move again. Not right away, though they do look regularly if there are any bigger apartments, maybe a house to rent for a reasonable price.The thing is... They do have one more room, that’s a study as of now and was supposed to be the new baby’s room. But now they’re having two more children. They talk about it and know that many twins are made to sleep in the same room – and most are fine with it, possibly even want it as they can be exceptionally close. But they want each their child to have their own room. If they then want to sleep in the same room every night, it’s fine too, but every one of their children should have the option to have their own space, to have privacy.  
Of course that still has time. The babies aren’t born yet and after the birth, they will first sleep with them in their room anyway. Nicky only moved into his own room a few months ago, slept in theirs until well after his first birthday. The twins will too.  
But they want to watch the market and they’re also sure that time will pass faster than they’ll realize and suddenly they will want those two rooms for their new babies.  
They randomly talk to their parents and their friends about it too. It comes up and all of them promise to keep an eye out for them too.

Jade’s twenty weeks pregnant, it’s the middle of November and Beck and Jade are over at Beck’s parents house with Nicky. Benji has spent the last weekend with his grandparents and preferred visiting a friend today.  
Nicky’s asleep now. He doesn’t like taking naps at all and usually refuses but his grandparents played ball with him earlier and apparently exhausted him enough after he also got little sleep the night before because of a thunder storm, that he’s now napping and that in his grandfather’s arms.  
The adults are talking, about all their jobs at first, then Beck’s father suddenly starts: “While we have you here, we wanted to talk to you about something.”  
Jade and Beck aren’t prompting them to continue, just look at them patiently.  
Beck’s mother does continue, sharing a look with her husband. “You know... We bought our home, when you were still little and we thought you’d still spend many years in here. And maybe get you a sibling but life didn’t want it that way.”  
Beck knows his parents wanted to have another child after they moved here. But somehow, his mother didn’t get pregnant for a few months and then she got a chance to rise into a higher position at her work and they talked a lot and decided that their wish for a second child wasn’t that desperate anymore at all. They were happy with Beck and their life with him and both their careers.  
As Beck was also already about seven years old at the time, he partly caught what went on with his parents and when he one day with ten years asked his parents why he was an only child, they told him. He told Jade when they were starting to try for Nicky, explaining to her that he isn’t sure he could just discard his wish for a second child like that, that it was more important to him than it apparently was to his parents back in time.  
His mother continues: “The house seemed too big ever since you moved in the RV. And we finally decided to move out.”  
“What?” Beck’s shocked. He didn’t know his parents ever thought about this. And now that kind of decision was made? He’s lived in the house since he was seven years old. He grew up here.  
His father nods. “We’re searching for an apartment. We thought about selling the house.”  
Jade looks over to Beck, who stares at his parents unbelieving.  
His mother quickly explains: “We didn’t talk to you before because we didn’t think you would want the house anyway. As you left it with 14 already.”  
Which is a reasonable assumption. Jade’s sure that Beck’s not exactly in love with this house and under normal circumstances he also wouldn’t want to have it, she’s sure. Maybe, he doesn’t even want to have it now. He’s just shocked that this decision has been made all of the sudden and without him.  
His father continues again: “But now that you’re searching for something bigger... Why don’t you move into the house, as soon as we’ve found an apartment for us?”  
Finally, Beck shares a look with Jade, before Jade gently notices: “We could never afford your house.”  
She knows what the answer to that will be, but that’s not what she wants.  
Leah says it anyway: “We don’t want you to buy or rent it from us. We’ll give it to you for free.”  
Jade can’t accept this. That’s a gift way too big, a sacrifice by Beck’s parents that’s way too big. Just because she had to get herself pregnant with twins.  
“We need to talk about this,” Beck finally says, taking Jade’s hand in his.  
“That’s fine,” his father easily says. “Take your time. We don’t need to have a decision until after we moved out anyway. But know: We would really like to help out in this way.”

 

It’s only when both kids are in bed that Beck and Jade talk about it among themselves.  
Beck starts the conversation as they both settle on the couch after saying good night to Benji. “So, what do you think?”  
Jade doesn’t need him to tell her what his question is about. They long learned to save all these talks for when their children are sleeping, to start these conversation as soon as they are alone.  
“We can’t take your parents’ house,” Jade immediately says.  
“I know,” Beck confirms, then: “But we’ll never find anything else we can afford.”  
Not when neither of them has a secure job for long periods of time. She is one of the co-writers of a series now, but who knows for how long the series will run? He’s auditioning a lot and does get jobs quite regularly, but nothing yet like his previous job as a series regular. They don’t know if they’ll earn enough money to pay rent for a house big enough for them and their soon to be four children.  
But taking his parents’ home? Like... They are so many things wrong about it.  
Beck gently adds: “You know they won’t force us to keep the house in a certain way.”  
That is one of the things that could possibly worry them. If they move into his parents’ home, won’t they always feel like it’s still theirs, whenever they come visit, and behave like that? Maybe telling them they shouldn’t decorate a certain way or alike?  
But Jade guesses Beck is right. His parents do know how to let them have their freedom. Beck somewhat taught that to them when he moved into the RV. And they knew how to behave around Jade when Benji was born, not to take the boy out of her arms whenever they liked and critizising the way they raised him. They will also know better with the house if it came to that.  
“I know,” she therefore says, quite grumpy. “It makes sense to take it. Gosh! I can’t make a decision like that right now!”  
The babies are still making her nauseous somehow and forgetful and... it’s not like her previous pregnancies. This one really takes a toll on her. And making such a decision while feeling crappy like this?  
Beck lies his hand on her leg. “You don’t have to. Let’s think about it.”  
Jade nods and Beck shortly rubs her leg, before he makes a gesture for her to slightly turn to be able to massage her. She’s glad about that offer and lets him. After a while, she asks quietly though: “Do you want to have it?”  
Beck doesn’t stop moving his hands over her neck, shoulders and back, taking the stess out of her. “It’s weird because I don’t think I usually would want to have it. Yes, I would feel bad about loosing it and am shocked. But... If it would be just you, me and both our boys... My parents would’ve been right to not even ask me if I want to have the house. But we already had so much luck with this apartment and now we need even one more room... And every room in my parents’ house is so big.... It does make sense to take it.”

 

Ten days later, they’re almost sure they’ll take it, especially as it’s even in the same school district as their apartment now, so Benji won’t have to change schools. Though they’re thinking about certain conditions.  
Beck’s parents told Beck on the phone that they might’ve already found an apartment. The search is easy for them as they only need enough rooms for two and have a quite comfortable budget. They eye an apartment to buy, instead of renting it, and also think it’ll be a good one for when they grow older and aren’t as mobile anymore.  
Jade’s visiting her mother one day. Benji’s already home from school and she took him and Nicky with her. Both boys are outside now with Jasper, who lets them play with his toy helicopter, while watching them.  
Jade and her mother are sitting in the kitchen, talking, and Jade tells her mother all about her in-laws’ offer.  
Her mother also seems surprised, but when Jade tells her that they’re about to take them up on their offer but that there are so many things that worry her about it, she suddenly says: “Do you remember when I said nobody raises a child by themselves?”  
She told Jade that when Jade was pregnant with Benji and got desperate at the thought of their parents having to help out as much as they had to.  
“You do need a village,” her mother now says.  
Which means that they aren’t able to find a better home for their family but that it’s okay. It’s okay to accept help because all of them should and have to help out raising children.  
“I don’t like it,” Jade says because she doesn’t. Not like this. Finally, Beck and her were indepent from their parents. They don’t need money anymore since Jade finished college and already haven’t absolutely needed them to take care of one of their children since they finished high school, because they found other ways, especially taking classes at different times and having Benji in preschool.  
“I know,” her mother says with a gentle smile. “But make a difference. If Nate and Leah would’ve wanted to grow old in their home and now decided to move out to make room for your family, I’d also tell you to possibly not accept the offer. But you say you believe them when they say they wanted to move out anyway. So, they’re sacrificing the money they would’ve gotten from the sale, but they’re doing fine without it, so it’s nothing vital they have to give up.”  
Jade looks at her mother for a moment. She hasn’t thought about it that way yet. But she knows her mother is right. It does make a difference and maybe, this is okay.

 

Two weeks after the original offer, Beck’s parents are over. Beck and Jade invited them to discuss the house, while Benji and Nicky are spending the time with Tori and Cat – and possibly their boyfriends, Beck and Jade aren’t sure. They barely ask one of their friends to take both their children, ever, because they themselves might each be able to watch both of them, but especially because their age differs so much, it can be hard to do justice to both of them and if their friends get to spend time with them, they should be able to concentrate on one of them fully. That’s why they asked Tori for Benji and Cat for Nicky this time and the two of them promptly decided to go to the mall together – and to split up if the children want to do something different. Apparently, Andre even thought about joining them with Sharon if he has the time. Robbie told them that he totally would join them too if he was in town, which he sadly wasn’t.  
Beck and Jade sit down with Beck’s parents now and check if the offer with the house still stands, which of course is the case.  
“Can we assume you want to take the house if you asked us here like this?” Beck’s mother asks happily.  
Beck nods. “Yeah, but we want to pay rent.”  
That’s a condition. That’s how they can at least somewhat make up for what they don’t get by selling the house.  
Nathaniel furrows his brows. “You realize that one day it would be rightfully yours anyway, right? The house if we keep it or the money if we sell it.” Because Beck’s obviously the one inheriting all what’s theirs one day. Him and his children.  
Leah meanwhile adds: “We’re happy if our grandchildren are raised in that house.”  
But Jade won’t let them do it like this. She clearly states: “I don’t want to move in without giving you something in return. And not something mushy like raising your grandchildren.”  
Her in-laws know that kind of voice by now. They know that Jade means it.  
They share a look before Nathaniel slowly suggests, keeping his eyes on his wife as if checking if she would also agree to this solution: “How about this? You’ll pay us the rent you pay for this apartment at the moment. And then in... let’s say, ten years, if you’re still living there and want to stay, we’ll transfer the ownership of the house to you. No more rent.”  
Beck and Jade are sharing a look too.  
They could afford the rent they’re paying at the moment and by paying it for ten years, they would all in all pay Beck’s parents a reasonable amount of money. Probably still not close to the actual worth of the house, but it’s better than them giving them the house for free.  
It would also be an amazing gift to own the house in ten years, if they still want to live there then, if they actually made it a home by then.  
“Can we totally remodel the house?” Beck finally checks and almost cheekily, his mother answers: “If you have the money for that.”

 

They terminate the lease of their apartment to the end of February. Beck’s parents move out of the house in January and Beck, Jade and their kids move in slowly after. Beck and their friends and families do most of the work as Jade is on bedrest soon enough. The pregnany isn’t running as smoothly as it should and soon it’s all about keeping the twins in as long as possible, so they mature in her womb as much as they can.  
They’re still glad, especially in retrospect, for their decision to do the move still before the birth of the twins, because it’s not like their life gets less stressful with two infants to take care off.  
Beck’s parents don’t take all of the furniture. They leave in the kitchen, even with table and chairs. They also of course leave the room they furnished for Benji back in time, that was always his when staying over, and what’s left in the house of Beck’s old room. They took what they had for Nicky in the house, which are also a few old things of Benji’s, to also be able to have the children in their new apartment, to have something especially for the little boy to sleep in – with Benji being able to sleep on the couch or alike if necessary.  
Benji finally moves into his room, while Beck and Jade move into the study, the smallest of the rooms on the second floor. They make Beck’s parents’ room into Nicky’s. The twins are supposed to stay in Beck and Jade’s room at first.  
They do the attic over the months and build two rooms and a small bathroom up there. Benji moves there as soon as they’re done, moving a bit away from his parents with more privacy. That way, the twins get to have Beck’s and Benji’s old rooms, which are the biggest on the second floor.  
Nicky moves into the second room in the attic when he turns six and he himself decides that he’s totally too old to live on the same floor as his parents, just like his older brother.  
Before that, Beck and Jade sometimes use the empty room in the attic to work in peace, just like they use Nicky’s room afterwards the same way.

But for now they’re still settling into the house, trying to match all the different furniture, making it actually their home instead of a copy of Beck’s parents’ one. And they’re taking care of everything that’s going on at the moment. Most importantly, Jade’s pregnancy.

 

It’s the end of January. Nicky has turned two years old at the beginning of the month, Beck has turned 26 later on.  
Jade’s 30 weeks pregnant when she and Beck are at her doctor’s office again for an ultrasound.  
Jade has had more ultrasounds during this pregnancy than the last two. But they haven’t been able to see yet what sexes their babies have. The twins always turned into each other in a way that made it impossible to see.  
They’re almost expecting to have to wait until they are born by now, but suddenly Dr. Feldman asks with a smile, as he looks at the monitor: “Do you want to know the sexes?”  
“Yes,” Beck and Jade answer at the same time.  
Dr. Feldman turns the monitor for them to see. “You’re expecting another two healthy boys.”  
Jade blinks in surprise. How probable is that? Two more boys?  
Beck seems just as surprised, before he says, almost with a laugh: “Well, a house full of boys. Wow.”

She’s on bedrest from that appointment on. They started moving the previous week and now it’s on Beck and whoever offers to help.  
Not that she doesn’t do anything but they take it serious and she lies on the couch or in their bed most of the time, getting incredibly bored though she can still work in those positions, writing scripts and talking on the phone with her co-writers.  
Jade still has to be up every so often, especially when Beck shoots a movie throughout February and March. Nicky has to be taken care off and will only start preschool this summer. As they don’t want to involve their friends or family too much right now, knowing they might also need them a lot as soon as the twins are born, Jade tries to manage with Nicky.  
Benji’s at school during the day and otherwise is just the perfect son, like always. He even decides to only celebrate his birthday in a small way, out of the house and actually asks Cat and Robbie to watch him and his friends, instead of having one of his parents take care of the kids.  
Jade knows she has to make up for it as soon as she can. Beck already tries. He’s taking him and him alone to a hockey game at the end of February, still before his birthday.  
Jade can only give him and also Nicky quiet moments. But luckily, both her sons also enjoy those.  
It’s also the end of February, Benji still nine years old, when Jade’s on the couch. She has been on her laptop but put that away now, and leans back into the couch exhausted. This pregnancy... She’s 34 weeks pregnant now, but she feels long overdue.  
Nicky has been playing with lego on the floor, but suddenly stands up and walks up to her.  
“Read book,” he tells Jade.  
Jade can’t help but smile. “Wanna read a book with me? How about you get one?”  
“Okay,” the boy says and runs over to the bookshelves in the living room. There are mainly books for Beck and Jade here, because a lot of Nicky’s are in his own room, just like Benji’s, as that’s where they get read most. But Benji sorts some out of his room and into the living room regularly, loves to read and has many books, while they obviously also read in the living room with Nicky every now and then. Jade has often read with him here since she’s on bedrest.  
That’s why he has a nice big shelf where he can reach it.  
But instead of taking a book out of there, he reaches a bit higher and takes another one. One of Beck and Jade’s books of the horror genre. It’s on the second to last shelf where Nicky can reach it because he can’t read anyway and the cover is neutral enough on this one (while others dispict blood and alike – those are higher up because Nicky doesn’t need to randomly look at them). Benji knows about all those books. He started reading a gory one a few months back with his parents strongly advising against it, though Jade herself started reading stuff alike at the same age. Benji himself at some point decided against reading further and Jade talked to him a lot about what he read to make him feel better about it.  
Nicky now takes one of those books to Jade and Jade only notices when he hands it to her. “How about you get one of your books?” she checks.  
“No!” Nicky decides, that one still being his favorite word. “This one.”  
And he climbs on the couch. Jade helps him before she opens the book for him in proof, saying: “Okay, then. But it has no pictures.”  
“This one!” Nicky insists and Jade shrugs and hoists Nicky over to her other side, so he’s lying between her and the backrest. He settles against her chest and her pregnant belly that holds his little brothers, looking to the book that Jade opens in front of them on the first page.  
She obviously doesn’t read him that story. Not that she thinks he would understand enough, but still... He doesn’t need to hear all those words that are in the book.  
She instead invents some story on the spot, making sure to turn the page regularly to not make Nicky suspicious.  
Benji walks in on them after a few minutes. He has been in his room before, probably playing something on one of his handheld consoles.  
“Are you reading him that book?” he asks incredulously, looking at the cover of the book and noticing Nicky looking into it interested.  
“I certainly am,” Jade claims with a smirk, before she turns to Nicky: “Tell your brother what it’s about.”  
“A witch,” Nicky knows to report and that’s it. He’s still way too young to tell back stories he has heard. Not to mention that he still barely ever strings three words together. He still barely knows enough words. But he loves witches for some reason which is why Jade made one her main character.  
Jade explains further to make sure Benji knows that she’s most certainly not reading Nicky the book in her hands: “Yes, a witch and her friends and how they are fighting an evil king.”  
Benji smiles, getting it. “That sounds like fun.”  
Promptly, Nicky invites him along: “Come too.”  
He puts his arms over Jade’s chest, tapping her other side with his hand to show Benji where to lie down.  
“Sure,” Benji actually agrees with a grin, before he turns back to Jade though: “Can I get you something to drink first?”  
“Yeah, some water,” Jade accepts that offer. “Could you also get him juice?”  
She nods down to Nicky and Benji nods and leaves for the kitchen.  
He comes back a while later, giving Nicky his sippy cup with orange juice and Jade some water. She takes a sip, before he puts the glass back on the table for her and then lies down next to her, cuddling up just like Nicky did. He doesn’t look up to the book, knows he doesn’t follow what’s actually happening in the book.  
Jade ruffles his hair, before she continues her story, now making sure to make it interesting enough for the nine year old, while still also delighting the two year old with easy jokes.  
“You should write that into a book,” Benji says grinning, when Nicky has fallen asleep and Jade has still continued the story for a while for her and Benji’s amusement, having put the book away though.  
“I don’t think I remember half of it,” Jade says.  
Benji responds: “I’m sure you remember all of it. I’d read it.”  
“N’aw, thanks,” Jade says with another smirk, ruffling her son’s hair again.  
He turns his face further into her chest, before he quietly asks: “Do you have something to do?”  
Like work, so he would have to stand up and let her be?  
“No,” she roughly responds, pulling him closer to her. He should feel more than welcome to stay like this. It’s not like she doesn’t enjoy it. She enjoys it more than she could ever express. Just being with her children like this, having them cuddle up to her... Benji still with almost being ten years of age and already taking care of himself so much...  
She presses a kiss on top of his head, before she says: “Wanna talk about something? Is school going okay?”  
She asks him about school and his life every single day. She makes sure to never forget it. But she’s worried that they neglect Benji somewhat, especially because he takes care of himself so well.  
Benji promptly responds though: “Don’t wanna talk.”  
Well, and then they won’t. Then, they’ll just enjoy each other’s company in silence.

Beck’s coming home only in the evening from a long day of filming. He has a day off tomorrow though which he’s quite happy about.  
He’s even happier when he comes home (into his old childhood home which still weirds him somewhat out), and finds his pregnant wife and their two children on the couch.  
Jade’s lying in the middle, both the children cuddled up to her on either side. Nicky’s fast asleep, as is Jade. Benji’s the only one looking up when he walks inside.  
“Hey, Dad,” he says.  
“Hey, baby,” Beck responds, walking up to his family. He kisses Benji’s temple, then Jade’s forehead while running his hand through Nicky’s hair. “You all seem comfortable.”  
“Yeah, Mom invented a story,” Benji knows to report. “Nicky’s asleep for like... an hour now, so have fun getting him to bed later. Mom fell asleep a while ago as well.”  
“So, you also didn’t have dinner yet?” Beck asks.  
“No,” Benji responds.  
“Then I’ll whip something up.”  
“Want my help?” Benji asks and already seems in the process to get up, but Beck is quick to shake his head: “No, stay where you are. Take a short nap too.”  
Benji rolls his eyes. He feels way too old for naps. But he does settle back against his mother.  
Beck wants him to stay there. He knows how comfortable Benji has to feel. He knows how comfortable he feels himself, being close to Jade in that way. Again, her body seems to radiate even more warmth, a motherly warmth, with being pregnant. Like it already did when she was pregnant with Benji and then again with Nicky.  
Not to mention that Beck always loves her scent and knows that their children naturally have to love it too. They must feel so incredibly safe in Jade’s arms. Like he does himself.  
He can’t wait to be in bed with her tonight, being the one cuddling with her. Until then he will take care of his family, make sure everyone gets something to eat before he’ll think of ways to exhaust Nicky again enough for him to also sleep a few hours of night and him and Jade to be able to sleep too.


	10. The twins

Jade makes it to 37 weeks. It’s Friday, the 19th of March, around lunch, and the contractions start.  
She’s glad that they’re finally starting. She might’ve already thought about helping them along. She wanted to keep them inside until they were 36 weeks, to make sure that they’ve matured enough, but since then, she has hoped for them to get born. She feels awful carrying the twins around at this point, everything seems to hurt and she needs to pee constantly.  
She waits until Benji comes home. He gets a ride every afternoon after school from the parents of a friend of his. In the mornings, Beck or Jade often take the friend with them too, when they bring Benji to school – lately it has always been Beck of course, as Jade has been on bedrest.  
Jade made food because Benji’s always hungry coming from school, even though he also gets a good lunch there. He eats as if he’s already way into puberty and right within a growth spurt, though he isn’t. Weirdly, his weight still stays somewhat the same. Jade guesses the best genes must’ve come through for him.  
They greet each other and Benji directly sits down at the table. Jade gets Nicky to the table too. He always eats a bit as well and does for lunch itself too.  
She has just put Nicky on his chair when another contraction hits her.  
“Everything alright?” Benji checks, noticing her slightly wincing and trying to breathe through the pain, that’s more a distant kind of... pressure at this stage.  
“Yeah,” Jade says. “The contractions have just started.”  
“You’re in labor?” Benji asks with widening eyes.  
Jade nods, sitting down, still feeling the contraction that’s surpringly strong. “I am. But don’t worry. Eat. I’ll call your dad, so he knows.”  
Beck’s filming at the moment. If she remembers correctly he said it wouldn’t take that long today, but you never know. And if he still has to film a scene he obviously won’t be able to just leave. She only hopes the babies will stay inside of her until Beck is there. She doesn’t know what she’ll do without him there.  
Benji watches her with warry eyes while he fills his plate and then does the same with Nicky’s, so his little brother can also start eating, while Jade tries to call Beck.  
He doesn’t pick up. He also hasn’t picked up when she tried to call him right before Benji came home. Maybe he’s right in the middle of the scene and therefore hasn’t got his phone on him.  
She takes a deep breath. It will be fine. It still should take hours until the babies come. They still have time.  
She barely eats though while she asks Benji about his school day like every day. Benji doesn’t tell so much. He never does anymore. He’s growing older and doesn’t feel the need to inform his parents about everything anymore. But today, he’s even more quiet, watching Jade carefully, obviously not comfortable with the thought of her giving birth soon and still sitting at the table, without being able to reach Beck.  
Jade tries him again as soon as her boys have stopped eating. She knows she needs to get to the hospital soon, though she still assumed to have hours before Benji came home. But she can feel it, approaching faster than thought and that makes her somewhat anxious. But Beck still doesn’t pick up.  
“Is Dad not answering?” Benji checks.  
“No,” Jade answers. “He must be in the middle of filming a scene. I’ll call around to see who can watch you and Nicky.”  
Someone has to come either way. Beck and she never planned on taking them with them to the hospital. But Jade expected to be able to talk to Beck first. She expected not having to go the hospital until Beck was on his way back and that she could call someone to watch the kids in peace while knowing Beck was on the way.  
“Do you want me to do anything?” Benji asks, ready to help out in any way he can.  
But he shouldn’t worry about this, instead: “No. Start with your homework.”  
Benji doesn’t seem happy about that and he also still gets Nicky out of his chair and tells him to go play and then clears the table before he gets his school bag and starts with his homework.  
Meanwhile, Jade tries to call her mother, then Leah, then Nathaniel and then even Jasper, but nobody picks up. They must all be at work or in Jasper’s case at some extra curricular at school.  
She can’t believe her luck. She knows Cat and Robbie aren’t in town at the moment, which leaves Tori, Andre and Ruby in her closer circle. Ruby most likely would have time, is she staying home with her and Andre’s daughter, but she also still does have that same daughter to take care of. If Jade can avoid it, she won’t also have her take care of Nicky and Benji, even if she thinks Ruby would be willing and very much able to.  
She tries Tori first out of her left choices and she is the one to pick up.  
“Yeah?”  
“Tori, do you have time?”  
“Uhm,” Tori makes for a second, then: “Yes, sure, what’s going on?”  
“I’m in labor and need someone here to watch Nicky and Benji,” she quickly explains.  
Tori doesn’t hesitate: “Oh, of course! Yes. Yes, I’m coming over right away.”  
Jade is so relieved that she might even thank Tori before hanging up.  
“Tori’s coming?” Benji wants to know, looking up from his homework again. Not that he has really started.  
Jade only nods before she tries Beck once more. But he still doesn’t pick up. She can’t help but swear.  
She has another contraction. Gosh, this can’t be happening. She has to get to the hospital. Now. But how can she get there? She could wait for Tori, get both the kids in the car with them and have Tori drive her before driving home with the kids again. But Tori still needs time to come and then getting Nicky in the car who doesn’t appreciate car seats at the moment, so it takes some distractions to get him into a car?  
Maybe, she should call Andre or Ruby after all. But if only one of them is home and with Sharon, they also have to get the baby in the car first and still would take so long to come by. Maybe, both of them have time though and one of them can just come and take Jade.  
Though they also live quite far away. In LA but not as close-by as Tori does.  
And then she knows who to call: her father. She never needed to call him for any kind of emergency. But heck, he works close-by at the moment. It should take him about five minutes with the car. If he can get out of work right away, he can be here quite fast.  
She never needed her father’s help and feels almost uncomfortable asking for it now. And maybe afraid that he will deny her, that he will tell her that he can’t just leave work. Which he possibly really can’t. She knows the same is true for her mother and Beck’s parents but she knows they would try everything to help her out. What if her father doesn’t?  
She calls him and he picks up at the second ring.  
“Hello?”  
“Dad? Are you at work?” she asks.  
“I’m on my way back from my break,” her father says and now that he does, she’s sure to hear the distinct sounds of a car moving. He must talk to her on his hands-free device in the car while driving back to work. “What is it?” Of course he knows that she doesn’t just randomly call when she knows he could be working.  
She quickly comes to the point: “I’m in labor. Could you take me to the hospital?”  
A heartbeat, then he doesn’t answer directly, instead: “Are you at home?”  
“Yes.”  
“I’m coming.”

Jade quickly explains to Benji what’s going on, that her father will come and bring her to the hospital, while Tori will watch him and Nicky, then she tries Beck again, but he still isn’t answering his damn phone.  
She swears again, in quite colorful words.  
Benji isn’t impressed but as soon as the door bell rings he’s up and says: “I’ll get it.”  
Jade follows him slowly, not being able to walk much faster. She can still see Benji grabbing the bag that has been ready next to the door from the living room to the hallway for weeks. Then, he opens the door.  
“Hey, Grandpa,” Jade can hear his voice. She stops in the living room. If it’s only her father and not Tori at the same time, she can’t get going yet anyway. She looks over to Nicky, who found his toys in the living room after Benji sent him to play and is stacking towers at the moment, not caring for all the commotion.  
“Mom’s coming,” Benji continues without her father able to get a word in. “Take the bag and get the car ready.”  
Okay. That’s also the word Jade hears her father say, then Benji walks back into the living room – without him and without the bag.  
“You should get going,” Benji tells her.  
“I can’t leave you alone,” she says and yet... The twins want to come out. And having twins at home or – worse – in the car if she gets going a little later? She can’t do it. Maybe she wouldn’t have had a problem with having Nicky at home if there wouldn’t have been another way. But twins? So much can go wrong.  
Benji comes closer and looks her directly in the eye, as he says: “It’s fine. Tori will be here any second.”  
She takes a deep breath again and looks over to Nicky, who’s still playing in peace. Who won’t play like that much longer, she’s sure, because he usually likes wilder games so much more. On the other hand... He adores Benji and if somebody can get him to do what they want, it’s his big brother.  
She won’t ever be able to forgive herself if something happens to one of them, but... her body is screaming at her to finally get ready for birth, to press soon enough. She shouldn’t do it here.  
She walks all the way up to Benji. “I’ll try your Dad once more from the car and then I’ll call you and we keep on the phone until Tori’s here, yes?”  
“Yes.”

“Do we have to hurry?” her father checks as soon as she sits down. He has the car running already and now backs out of the driveway.  
“I left Benji and Nicky without supervision just now,” she responds in harsh voice. “So yes, obviously we have to hurry.”  
Her father doesn’t call her out for her tone of voice. He has barely ever done though she has been pretty harsh to him over the course of her life. Well, he has to her too.  
“Is someone coming to watch them?” he instead asks.  
And maybe he would otherwise even offer to call Stephanie to watch them. But Jade shortly answers: “Tori.”  
“Where’s Beck?” he wants to know next.  
“At work,” she answers. “I couldn’t reach him. I’ll try him again.”  
She never put her phone away, held it in her hand the whole time and now calls Beck again.  
He immediately picks up this time.  
“Jade.”  
His voice tells her that he must already have a good idea what’s going on with the missed calls he must’ve seen on his phone.  
She directly says: “I’m in labor and on the way to the hospital.”  
Beck swears as she did, then: “How are you getting there?”  
“My dad.”  
“Who’s watching the kids?”  
“Noone yet,” she says. “Tori’s on the way. It’s going way too fast. I told Benji I’ll call him next and stay on the phone with him until Tori is there.”  
“Let me do that. You concentrate on your breathing. We’ll see each other in the hospital.”  
“Okay.”  
She hangs up and does breathe through the contraction that hit her just then. She feels her father glance at her and he breathes too, loud enough for her to hear and fall into the same pace.  
She keeps her eyes closed but takes over his breathing, until she’s through this contraction.  
“Tell me if we need to stop, so you can lie down,” he then says. Lie down to give birth in the car. God, she doesn’t want it. And they are close enough to the hospital by now. She’ll make it.  
She only shakes her head for him as a sign to keep going, then the phone in her hand rings again. She notices that it’s Leah and picks it up.  
“Yeah?”  
“You tried to call?” Leah asks.  
Jade answers: “Yes. I’m in labor and needed someone to watch Benji and Nicky. Tori should be there now.”  
“Okay. I’m so sorry I wasn’t...” Leah starts but it’s not her fault and Jade can’t hear an apology right now, so she interrupts: “No, it’s fine. Can you text Nathaniel, my mom and Jasper too that this is what it was about? I tried all of them.”  
“Of course.”  
And there’s pain again. This can’t be happening. She feels sick and makes a noise.  
“Breathe, Jade,” Leah immediately says on the other end, recognizes the sound for what it is. “Are you at the hospital?”  
“No, on the way,” Jade presses out.  
“Oh, Jade,” Leah makes. “I hope you’ll be there fast. Best of luck.”

 

When Beck sees the missed calls on his phone, he knows what’s going on and his heart drops. He wants to call her back when his phone rings. It’s Jade.  
He packs up his things while they talk on the phone. He’s done now anyway, has dressed out of his costume into his own clothes again and only looked at his phone after that.  
Usually he stays for a few minutes and doesn’t just “flee” from the set, but this time he only shouts out a quick bye before he leaves.  
He jumps into his car, connects the phone to his hands-free device and calls Benji while he starts the car to get to the hospital.  
“Yes?” the boy picks up.  
“Hey, baby. It’s me,” he says though Benji must’ve seen on the screen of his phone anyway.  
Benji promptly informs him: “Mom is on the way to the hospital.”  
“I know,” Beck responds. “She just managed to reach me. Has Tori arrived by now?”  
“No.”  
“I’m staying on the phone, huh?”  
“Okay,” Benji simply answers.  
Beck doesn’t directly ask if Nicky’s okay and if he can hear him too. He’s sure Benji would tell him if he wasn’t okay. He’s as responsible as a boy his age can be and takes great care of his brother.  
Instead, he tries to get the conversation going in hope to calm Benji who sounds distracted and possibly worried about his mother – and to keep himself distracted. “Have you and Nicky already eaten?”  
“Yeah,” Benji answers. “Nicky’s playing now. I’m supposed to do my homework. We’re in the living room together.”  
“Do you have much homework?” Beck asks.  
“Sorta,” Benji says, then: “Are you on the way to the hospital?”  
“Trying my best,” Beck answers honestly, just now passing the light that’s barely green anymore.  
“Her contractions were pretty strong,” Benji knows to report.  
It makes Beck almost smile. His son worrying about his mother in this way is somehow so lovely. “They must’ve been or she wouldn’t’ve left you alone.” Which is true. Beck already knew that she must be about to give birth right now or otherwise she wouldn’t have left like that.  
For a moment it’s silent between father and son, then Benji says: “Tori’s pulling in the driveway right now.”  
“Can you give me to her when she’s inside?” Beck checks.  
“Yeah,” Benji answers.  
He hears him walking to the door and after a while he greets Tori and Tori greets back.  
“Dad’s on the phone,” Beck hears his son say and the front door close.  
Tori answers: “Where’s your mom?”  
“Gone to the hospital already,” Benji explains.  
“Hi, Nicky,” Tori then says. They must have arrived in the living room. And finally, Tori takes the phone: “Hey, Beck.”  
“Hey, Tori,” Beck says and quickly explains: “Yeah, apparently the birth is approaching much faster than Jade would’ve expected and she had to get on the way.”  
“Oh. I hope she’s okay.”  
God, does Beck too. “Yeah. Benji and Nicky both ate and Benji should do his homework now. Can you stay the rest of the day?”  
“Yes. Don’t worry,” Tori says.  
Beck continues: “If it’s getting late, feel free to call one of our parents. Their numbers are on the fridge.”  
“Yeah, okay,” Tori says. “I can also stay the night though. If that’s okay for you.” She knows that neither Bekc nor Jade like anyone all up in their family’s space, but better their own parents than their friends, though they do love them all. They’re private and Tori would have to look around to find pillows and blankets to make herself comfortable in the living room.  
But Beck’s glad for the offer. Just to know that someone will definitely be there, that Tori has time and is ready to stay with their kids... “If you actually could...”  
“Yes. Don’t worry,” Tori repeats. “But I’ll call one of your parents if there’s problem.”  
“Good.”  
“I wish you and Jade all the best.”  
Beck takes a deep breath. “I just wish I would be with her right now. Talk to you later.”

 

It takes Jade a while to get into the delivery room as she also didn’t call ahead this time. Her father makes sure to pointedly tell everyone in sight to hurry up though, to get Jade ready because she will give birth any second. His usually so cold demeanor has fallen and he’s... scared.  
Jade would be amused if she wasn’t about to give birth to twins and was in pain and was afraid that Beck wouldn’t show on time. She would have to go through this alone and she can’t.  
But she also doesn’t have to. When she gets brought into the delivery room, she tell the nurses that Beck is absolutely allowed through – and then she tells her father to stay with her until Beck arrives.  
She can’t do this alone. And yes, she definitely would favor other people above her father in the room, seeing her like this, Beck for one or her mother. Or maybe even Cat or Tori or Leah. But well... Her father it is.  
He walks into the delivery room with her without hesitation and offers her his hand as soon as she’s lying and a doctor is checking how far along she is, if she should start pressing during the next contraction.  
She takes her father’s hand and pretty much destroys it with her father not even wincing.

Beck arrives in the delivery room ten minutes after Jade does. He rushes in and knows by Jade’s sight that he’s pretty much exactly on time.  
There are more poeple in the room than back when Nicky or Benji have been born. Beck guesses, it’s partly just in case if the twins have trouble coming out which is more likely than with one child – and because it’s more interesting for students to watch the birth of twins and learn during that.  
He mainly sees Jade though, exhausted, already pressing. And he sees the relief flooding her face as soon as she notices him coming inside.  
He rushes to her side and is surprised to realize that her father is already there but is now making room for him. Her father! Well, but Jade has always told him that he loved her despite how much he criticized her and her life choices. He also knew it somewhere that he did. He is doing well with Benji and Nicky, as far as Beck can tell. Both boys at least enjoy being over at his and Stephanie’s place.  
The contraction is ending and the doctor tells Jade that she’ll have the first of the twins during the next contractions if she does it right.  
Jade takes a deep breath before she pulls Beck down to her and kisses him, desperately, so glad that he’s there.  
Only when they break apart, her father says, in a surprisingly gentle voice: “I leave you two at it.”  
Jade does want him to leave. Now that Beck is here, she doesn’t need her father anymore and he has already seen enough. But she would’ve needed him if Beck wouldn’t have come. She needed him until just now. And he stayed and was with her though this must’ve made him uncomfortable, without a doubt.  
She has to say it, when he’s already on his way out: “Thank you, Dad.”  
He turns back one more time, directly looking into her eyes: “Be safe.”  
She takes another deep breath as soon as he’s gone, then she turns to Beck who already takes her hand: “Are Benji and Nicky okay?”  
“Yes. Tori’s with them,” Beck confirms, easing her mind, one less trouble to have for what’s to come.  
She closes her eyes, feeling the next contraction approach. Here it goes.  
“I’m so glad I made it,” Beck breathes, close to her ear, having leaned down once more, kissing her cheek and then her lips again.  
“I love you,” she whispers, just for the two of them to hear.  
“I love you, too.”

 

It’s quick and messy and suddenly, there are two more boys in this world.  
Jade has never been so exhausted, not even after her last two births. Though it hasn’t taken even slightly as long as the previous two births.. she feels like she has been at it for days. Probably, the stress from before is part of that.  
By now, she’s cleaned up, as are the two babies. The two healthy baby boys.  
And Beck is lying in her bed with her. They have a family room again, the two of them and the two new additions to their family. But they’re lying in the same bed now, each holding one of the boys.  
Jade can’t decide at whom to look. The baby in her own arms or that in Beck’s. Or if she just should lie her head back and close her eyes and enjoy the closeness she feels to her husband, the father of her now four children. Gosh. She should probably sleep as long as she’s able to, before one of her children needs her again, demands her attention or time.  
But she doesn’t. She couldn’t sleep now. Not when there’s still so much to discover in both the infants’ faces.  
“Who’s who?” Beck asks softly after a while.  
Jade smiles. “Huh, good question.”  
She looks between the two boys once more, as does Beck. They’ve decided on names a few weeks ago and have said that they would decide whom is whom as soon as they have them in their arms. They also could’ve said that the first born of the two would definitely have one of the names and the second one the other but they wanted to see them first.  
Beck gently adresses the baby in his arms: “Are you Elijah or are you Joshua?”  
“I think he looks a bit more like Elijah,” Jade claims, looking over to the baby in Beck’s arms too.  
Beck lightly laughs and confesses: “They’re looking absolutely the same to me.” He knows he can say that to Jade. He knows Jade won’t judge him for not being able to tell his own children apart. A few years back – or if he hadn’t had Benji and Nicky and grew so much with them –, he would’ve felt embarrassed about it, would’ve felt stupid and would’ve thought every parent should be able to tell his children apart right away, even if they are identical twins.  
He has too much experience with children now, has matured a great deal, and doesn’t care at all what he should be able to do or alike. Jade especially has taught him that he is a good father, even if he might not do or know the things he should.  
Jade definitely also can’t tell them apart. Heck. If there were five other new-borns in the room as well, she probably couldn’t find her own. She couldn’t have done with Benji or Nicky when they were still so young. Babies all look so damn alike at first.  
These two don’t even have hair yet while Benji and Nicky had a bit right away – which made them somewhat recongnizeable.  
They will get to know their new children soon enough, just like they got to know their other two boys.  
“Don’t you see how his face is squished in much more?” Jade asks, smirking.  
Both faces are a bit squished in and yes, the one in Beck’s arms, who came first, even more so, in a very adorable way.  
Beck laughs again. “And Eli has a face like that?”  
“As you can see,” Jade nods, grinning.  
Beck stokes over the baby’s cheek with his thumb, as he says: “Then hello, Eli.” He then also strokes over the other baby’s cheek in Jade’s arms. “And hello Josh.”  
Then, he carefully reaches to his other side, to the pen the nurse layed down on the bedside table. “Let me write down the names.”  
They both have little bracelets that already have a code on them, a number that connects them to the data, the nurses already collected of them, their weight and height and exact time of birth. They told them, when they brought the children back to them, that they can just put the names on the bracelets themselves and the nurses will later fill out everything accordingly.  
Beck now carefully writes down both their names, lying Eli on his legs for that. Only when he’s done, Jade suggests to change babies for a while, so each of them can meet the other one properly too.

It’s only after they sit like that in silence too, enjoying the quiet and watching their children adjusting to the new world in their arms, when Jade says: “I don’t think I wanna see anyone anymore today.”  
With the other two births, she immediately allowed their parents or their friends to come by and meet the new child. She somehow feels like she should at least let Benji and Nicky come, but she doesn’t have the nerve for it, honestly. Not after the day she had. She feels so damn exhausted.  
“I get it,” Beck gently says, pressing a kiss on top of her hair. “You did so well, though.”  
“I know,” Jade says with a smirk and Beck smirks too and they share a kiss.  
She’s honestly just glad that she was once again able to do it naturally because that’s what she wanted. She strongly believes every woman should be able to go with it they way they want to, the way they feel most comfortable. She likes giving birth naturally – and was therefore glad that her body even was able to do it with twins without absolutely unbearable pain or alike.  
They kiss a bit longer and after they’ve broken apart, Beck asks: “Should Tori stay with Benji and Nicky?”  
Obviously they still have to take care of everything, even if Jade’s too exhausted to see anyone. Earnestly, she says: “I think my mom would love to stay with them, after she couldn’t do anything the last time.”  
When Nicky was born, she was on the East coast and couldn’t do anything at all. Jade is sure she’s angry with herself now, knowing Jade tried to reach her, wanted her to help, and with her not picking up. Leah and Nathaniel will also not be happy with that but Jade’s own mother... Well. And Jade’s sure her mother would love to spend the night with the kids.  
Beck smiles at her, likes the idea: “Wanna call her, while I call my parents?” He’ll call his parents of course to let them know how the birth went, while she can inform her mother and then ask her about the possibility of her spending the night at their house – or getting Benji and Nicky to her own apartment, but that would involve much more trouble.  
“Yeah,” Jade agrees and Beck carefully stands up with Josh in his arms to get both Jade’s phone that somewhere along the line ended up in the bag for the hospital. He hands it to her before he sits back down next to her, pulling his own phone out of his pants’ pocket.  
Jade continues, after thinking about it for a moment. “They can all come in the morning. My mom can take the boys with them.”  
Beck agrees with that.

Her mother picks up after only one ring.  
“Jade?” she says, checking, obviously worried.  
“Yes,” Jade easily answers, looking down into her arms to little Elijah, as she directly says: “You have two more grandsons.”  
“Oh, my god,” her mother makes, her voice overjoyed, then she calls out for Jade’s brother: “Jasper!”  
The next second, Jade can hear her brother’s voice in the distance on the other end. “Is everyone okay?”  
“Yes,” her mother answers and Jasper calls out: “Awesome!”  
Jade has to grin as he hears mother and brother talk and being so happy for her.  
Her mother talks to her again: “Congrats, honey.”  
“Thank you,” Jade even says, then: “I’m exhausted though. So nobody can come today.”  
“That’s okay,” her mother answers and Jade knows she means it. Not that Jade would’ve changed her mind if her mother would be disappointed in her choice. But she might’ve thought less of her mother if she would’ve been disappointed with this.  
Jade slowly continues: “Well... Tori’s with Nicky and Benji and apparently is willing to stay the night, but...” She doesn’t want to phrase it in a way that makes her mother think she has to watch the boys.  
But her mother already says: “I’d love to stay with them and take them to you tomorrow.” And then she turns to Jasper again: “Wanna get over to their house and stay with Nicky and Benji?”  
“Sure,” Jasper answers, actually willing.  
“I thought so,” Jade says with a smile. “We’ll call Tori and tell her you’re on the way.”  
They then agree on a time for the next morning (with Beck saying in between which time he has just given his own parents) before they hang up.

Beck meanwhile talked to his parents, it was a shorter talk but they picked up the phone together and were just as happy and relieved as Jade’s mother.  
Only when Jade has hung up too, they call Benji together. The phone gets picked up and they are sure to hear that the phone gets put on speaker, then it’s Benji’s voice, just like after Nicky’s birth: “Yeah?”  
“Hey, baby,” Jade says and doesn’t beat around the bush. “You have two new brothers.”  
“Cool!” Benji calls out, then: “Did Dad make it on time?”  
“I did. Luckily,” Beck confirms.  
Benji’s happy with that and his voice moves away from the phone: “Nicky, have you heard?”  
While Benji tells his little brother the news, Beck asks: “Tori, are you also there?”  
“Yes,” Tori’s voice answers immediately. “I’m so happy for you guys! Congrats!”  
“Thanks,” Beck says with a smile.  
Jade tells: “My mom is on the way to you, with my brother. They’ll watch the kids over night.”  
“Oh, sure,” Tori makes. “I could also stay though.”  
“We know,” Beck confirms. “But Jade’s mother also would like to help out.”  
Jade looks at him for a moment, before she roughly says into the phone: “And you already helped a whole lot. Honestly.”  
Beck’s smile gets wider. He knows that that’s pretty much a “thank you” by Jade. And Tori knows that without a doubt too.  
The grin is audible, as she says: “You’re very much welcome. You know I love you guys and your kids.”  
“We know,” Beck confirms.  
Jade changes the topic: “Did you already tell anyone about the birth?”  
“I didn’t get around to it,” Tori answers. “Should I?”  
Jade and Beck share another look before Jade decides: “I think we’ll send a photo later. Wait until then.” Beck takes such beautiful pictures and obviously they will send one of those again. Their friends don’t know the birth would happen today, aren’t anxiously waiting for news, so it’s okay if they still wait a bit longer.  
Beck leans forwards and steals a quick kiss from Jade, while Tori says “okay”.  
Then, Jade continues: “You can come by tomorrow around lunch if you have time and want to. You can also have Andre and Ruby join you if they’d like.”  
“Sure,” Tori answers happily. “Sounds great.”  
And finally, Benji’s there again. They have heard him talking to Nicky in the background when they started talking to Tori. But then, he was silent again and they guessed he was listening in on their conversation. Now, he has to check of course: “When will I get to visit?”  
Jade knows how much he wants to meet his new brothers and for just a split second she considers allowing him to still visit today after all, with someone, anyone, getting him here. But she’s really exhausted and.. she can’t do it. But she says: “Tomorrow morning, promise, baby.”  
“Your mom and the babies need to rest,” Beck explains.  
“Okay,” Benji says and doesn’t sound as disapppointed as Jade feared. Instead, he seems a bit worried now: “But you are okay, yeah?”  
“We are,” Jade confirms and Beck adds: “Everything’s alright. If you want to, we can call later and sing you a lullaby.”  
“I’m ten!” Benji immediately answers as if that was a totally ridiculous offer due to his age. And then, sounding much older then he is: “You rest and don’t worry. I’ll sing a lullaby for Nicky.”  
“You’re the best,” Beck says with a grin and Benji easily answers: “I know.”  
“We love you,” Jade softly says.  
“I love you too. Nicky does as well.”

Jade also decides to call her father right away. She didn’t with Nicky. She had her mother call her father back when Benji was born. But with Nicky... She guessed that her father wouldn’t care so much. Like... No, she knew he cared about her and also about her children. He loves her. But... he wouldn’t care to know about the birth right away or alike.  
Now, he has witnessed Jade in pain, while having contractions and... weirdly, Jade can imagine her father at home now, pacing up and down, his phone in hand, waiting for any news on his daughter.  
She wants to call him, was it also him who brought her to the hospital last second. And was it him, who would’ve stayed with her. No, she never imagined he would. But he would have. He would have held her hand the whole time through and... suddenly, Jade is creepily aware of the fact that he also was there for her own birth, was at her mother’s side and tried to help her through it.  
And she saw how relieved he looked that he got to leave in time, but... because he loves her, he would’ve also tried to help her through it. And that means a whole lot to her, especially as her relationship to him always has been so rocky.  
He picks up as soon as she has dialed. “Jade?”  
She has put both her infant boys in Beck’s arms and has decided to not put the phone on speaker. Beck doesn’t like her father much and she doesn’t think he needs to talk to him too. She watches him instead while she talks to her father and enjoys how Beck can’t seem able to decide whom of the boys to look as he cradles them both.  
“Yeah,” she answers her father meanwhile. “Everything’s alright. With me and the twins.”  
Her father might breathe out in relief. “Good. How are you feeling?”  
“Exhausted,” Jade honestly responds.  
And that’s all. “Naturally,” her father says in that tone she’s so used to, that’s somewhat cold, but... it’s doesn’t mean he feels as cold towards her. “Thank you for calling.”  
“I’ll send you pics later and we can talk tomorrow about when you and Stephanie can come visit.”

She takes a few pics of Beck with the babies, before he hands Elijah back to her and takes selfies with all four of them and then, she’s holding both the boys and he’s taking pictures.  
She looks like a mess, but she isn’t a teenager anymore. She didn’t want Beck to send a picture with her and Benji on the day of the birth to their friends. She doesn’t care now. She looks exhausted but there is this pic of all four of them that just look so perfect.  
They send it to Benji’s phone first, then also in their group chat with their friends, before they send it to each their parents.  
Everyone sends an answer within minutes, Andre, Robbie and Cat sending way too many emojis, showing how shocked they are that they didn’t know about the birth, how happy they are that everything went well though, how cute they think the twins are and how beautiful and happy they find Beck and Jade to look with their third and fourth children. Tori of course is agreeing with everything except the shock about the birth itself and sends quite a few heart emojis.

They go to sleep soon and when Jade lies in the dark, Beck in the bed to her right, the two babies in one crib between them, it sinks in. They have four kids now. Beck and her have to take care of and raise four children, who all have different needs and wants and goals and need their attention and love. Well, love won’t be a problem, she realizes, as she looks over to Beck in the dark. He has so much love to spare. And honestly: She does too. They will fall in love with Eli’s and Josh’s personalities just like they did with Benji’s and Nicky’s. And somehow, they will be able to raise all four children, like they were able to take care of Benji when they were just teenagers. With a lot of help but also in all their love.


	11. Having a big family

Benji joins his grandmother in bringing Nicky to bed when it’s his bedtime. Their grandmother dresses the little boy in his race car pajamas in his room after washing him and brushing his teeth. It’s there that Nicky asks: “Where Mommy?”  
“She’s at the hospital,” their grandmother explains kindly. “She’s taking care of your new baby brothers.”  
“Daddy?” Nicky checks. Most of the times, at least one of them is there to tuck him in.  
Benji answers that one: “Daddy’s with her. But you know what? I can sing you her lullabye.”  
There is one she composed when Benji was about five years old and that she now often sings to Nicky too. It’s Nicky’s absolute favorite.  
Nicky now also nods with a serious look in the eye – because their mother’s lullabye is serious business for him.  
Benji smiles and their grandmother does too as she suggests: “How about you already lie down, Nicky? Let your brother soothe you to sleep.”  
She puts him into the crib and Nicky does lie down. Benji reaches into the crib like she sees his parents always doing when he watches them tucking Nicky in. He strokes over the boy’s head and starts to sing, as gently as he can, though it’s nothing like his mother is able to do, or his father for that matter.  
Nicky doesn’t let himself be soothed to sleep. Instead he keeps his eyes open and watches Benji as he sings, sucking on his pacifier.  
The lullabye has two verses and Benji sings both of them before he tells his little brother: “Love you, Nicky.”  
He’s sure to see in his little brother’s eyes that he loves him too, before the boy finally closes his eyes.  
“Sleep well,” their grandmother whispers, before she and Benji leave the room, keeping the door slightly ajar.  
His grandmother praises him for being such a good brother, before they settle on the couch, where Jasper stayed the whole time, and still watch some TV.

Later, his grandmother also tucks Benji in. Benji’s tired but he isn’t sure he can actually sleep.  
He feels calmer since his parents called ealier, but still... he can remember how... panicky his mother almost looked. How desperate she seemed. He doesn’t feel good and can’t help but be worried.  
For a moment, he wants to deal with it himself but after his grandmother told him good night and is about to leave the room, he says after all: “I’m worried about them.”  
His grandmother comes back to the bed, sitting down again. Of course she knows whom he’s worried about. “You don’t have to be. They sounded alright on the phone, no?”  
She knows that they called him too and that he got to talk to them on the phone. They talked about what they said in his call and what in their call to his grandmother as they exchanged how today went for each of them. That’s also how Benji told his grandmother and uncle all about how his mother already was sort of in labor when he came home from school and how she tried calling his dad and then everybody else but reached noone except Tori and then his grandfather.  
But yes, they did sound alright on the phone. “They did.”  
“They would’ve said something if they weren’t okay,” his grandmother assures as if he was worried they would be lying.  
Well, maybe they wouldn’t have outright said it if something was wrong, would’ve tried to talk around it, but... he would’ve heard in their voices if something was wrong, he’s sure.  
But all that doesn’t change anything about how his mother was feeling earlier, how she looked earlier.  
“Mom just was so... desperate before she left.”  
His grandmother goes with her hand through his hair almost the way his mother always does. “But she made it in time to the hospital and your dad was on time too. Sometimes, people are desperate and that’s okay.”  
“Mom never is,” Benji quietly says.  
“She appears that way, huh?” his grandmother says. “She’s such a strong person, but that doesn’t mean that she isn’t sometimes, you know, weak and desperate. Everyone is sometimes. And being home alone with two children and being in labor with the next two... that can definitely make every person feel that way.”  
Benji knows that. Heck, he also knows that his mother sometimes feels... weak too. But... maybe, what irks him is that... his father wasn’t with her. Whenever he has seen her hurt in any way, his father usually was by her side and held her or let her get off some steam by fighting with her, because that also sometimes calms both of them down. He always was close and resolved it quickly enough.  
This time, Benji saw her in physical pain and emotional distress and she couldn’t reach his father. Maybe that’s what haunts him a bit. Seeing her desperation about not being able to reach him. And knowing that she needs him around when she feels so bad.  
But he was with her on time. He arrived at the hospital before the babies were born and he knows that must have made all the difference for his mother. And for his father too of course. He can’t imagine how bad his father would feel if he would’ve missed it. For his mother’s sake, because he also knows how much more Benji’s mother would’ve suffered without him, but also because he wanted to be there when his children got to see the world for the first time.  
“I’m glad Dad was with her on time,” Benji says, taking a deep breath. “That will have calmed her down.”  
“It will have,” his grandmother confirms, smiling, then she gets up again, dropping a last kiss on his cheek. “Now, sleep.”  
Benji rubs the kiss away but still says, before she leaves: “Love you.”  
“I love you, too.”

 

He fell asleep quicker than he thought but at some point gets woken by Nicky crying. He doesn’t get up. He knows his grandmother or his uncle will take care of it and one of them does, at least Nicky quiets down quickly enough. But Benji himself doesn’t fall back asleep. He knows his parents are well, but still...  
After lying in the dark for about half an hour, without being able to fall back asleep, he gets up with the thought of maybe asking his grandmother to sleep with her, though he’s too old for that. But this would be an exception after an exceptional emotional stressful day.  
As he’s walking through the upper hallway, he’s sure to hear quiet noises downstairs though and decides to go look. He finds his uncle Jasper still awake on the couch, watching TV.  
Jasper notices him instantly and asks: “Hey, what are you still doing up?”  
“Not still, up again,” Benji corrects as he walks up to his uncle, who’s pretty much lying on the couch. He sits down by his legs. “How about you?”  
“Watching TV,” Jasper answers with a shrug.  
Benji knows his uncle is an adult and why shouldn’t he be up this long, though it’s dark outside and his mother has already gone to sleep? But he still wonders... He knows how close his uncle and his mother are.  
“Are you also thinking about Mom?”  
“I am,” Jasper confirms, tilting his head, watching Benji, then he asks: “Are you worried?”  
Benji answers honestly: “I am. Nana already told me there’s not reason to worry anymore and I know that, but... well.”  
“I get it,” Jasper says. “You had to watch your mom being in labor, huh? Can’t have been easy.”  
Of course Jasper understands and exactly knows why Benji still doesn’t feel totally relaxed. Benji bets his uncle also would’ve hated to see his mother like that.  
“Are you worried?” Benji wonders.  
“No,” Jasper answers though. “She said she was alright on the phone and she wouldn’t lie like that.”  
“What are you thinking about then?”  
Jasper shrugs. “Just about her and your dad and the new babies. About how the new babies will be.” A moment, then Jasper’s face gets even more serious, as he continues: “How your parents will manage with all four of you. Especially as you are always so much trouble.”  
Benji has to grin and shove his hand against Jasper’s shoulder at the same time. “Yeah, right. Me.” As if he’s so much trouble. He knows he isn’t. He likes his life the way it is. Sometimes his mother says that he’s so much like his father in that way – and that she can only hope that he won’t meet someone like her one day that’ll make him rebel against them after all. To which his father always says something along the lines of: “I only had to rebel because they didn’t like you at first, while we’ll like everyone he’ll bring home.”  
“Except if they’re only wearing pink,” his mother one time said dryly to that, to which his father replied: “You love Cat though she’s wearing way too much pink.”  
“Don’t get yourself a partner like Cat,” his mother said to him, threatening though not really.  
His father also addressed him, but with a smile: “If you’ll search for a partner one day at all, look for someone who makes you happy, no matter what we say. So that even if there’s discourse between us because of them, you’ll always know you made the right decision.”  
That made his mother lean forward and kiss his father for a long time.  
Anyway... Jasper promptly grabs the hand with which Benji shoved him, pulls him closer and then starts tickling him with the biggest grin.  
Benji defends himself while he tries not to be too loud to not wake his grandmother or Nicky.  
They start to tussle, rolling over the couch, almost falling off of it, before they fall down on it again, exhausted, Benji pretty much in Jasper’s arms.  
They both laugh, before they fall into a comfortable silence. Not too long after, before he knows it, Benji also falls asleep. Jasper still turns off the TV, before he joins his oldest nephew.  
Caitlyn finds son and grandson together on the couch the next day and can’t help but smile. She’s happy how close they are. At the beginning, she was afraid that Jasper could one day resent Benji as both his sister and his mother suddenly had less time for him. But they love each other and it’s always beautiful to see. As Caitlyn knows that Jade loves it just as much, she snaps a photo on her phone and sends it to her daughter.  
An hour later, probably when Jade is finally awake and even thinks about her phone, she actually sends back a heart, before she asks if the family will come to the hospital on the agreed time.

 

Caitlyn, Leah and Nathaniel agreed to meet outside prior to the visit, at least they all come into the room together early on the twentieth. Jasper, Benji and Nicky are with them.  
They quietly greet into the room where they find Beck and Jade once more on the same bed, each a little baby in their arms.  
Benji has Nicky on his hand and is already on his way to the bed with him, when Beck looks at him and says: “Come here, boys.”  
Benji’s so damn happy to see his mother with that gentle smile in her face, content and happy. He’s glad to see his baby brothers apparently okay too. And to see his father too, full of joy.  
He hoists Nicky onto the bed.  
“Mommy, Daddy,” the little boy says happily. Nicky has missed his parents quite badly this morning. Their absence first confused him, then almost made him angry. But he’s always quick to turn around.  
Their parents make room, so Benji can sit down between them. He pulls Nicky between them too, so the risk of him crawling to the edge of the bed and falling off is lower.  
Both their parents drop a kiss on each their heads, before their mother says, quietly: “Benji, Nicky. Meet Elijah and Joshua.”  
She makes a gesture into her own arm at the first name, then to Beck’s for the second. Benji looks between them while Nicky stands up and turns to Jade. Jade anticipates what he wants to do and opens her free arm so he can walk into it and wrap his arms around her neck. She puts her arm around him, hugging him back, while Benji finally asks: “How will we tell them apart?” He can’t see any difference at all.  
“With these things at first,” Beck says, pointing at the little bracelets around their arms.  
Jade adds, dryly: “We should probably get them tattoos next.”  
“Mom!” Benji calls her out, laughing.  
“What?” Jade asks as if she’s serious, letting go of Nicky to ruffle Benji’s hair instead.  
Beck also grins but now reaches over to Nicky, strokes with his fingers of his cheek, before he points down to Elijah in Jade’s arms: “What do you think of your new little brother?”  
Nicky still has his arms wrapped around his mother’s neck but now seriously looks down into her arm. He seems to think about it for a second, then: “Small.”  
“Yeah, they are really small, huh?” Jade asks with a smile, before she adresses Benji again: “Wanna hold Eli?”  
Benji takes him which leaves his mother free to finally hug it out with Nicky.  
Beck meanwhile turns to their parents and Jasper waiting close to the door: “Come closer, too. Meet the new additions to our family.”  
Jasper has taken photos with his phone of Nicky and Benji meeting their little brothers, but now puts the phone away as all of them walk closer.  
“How are you feeling?” Caitlyn asks Jade as she steps next to her and puts a hand on her shoulder, before even looking into the little boys’ faces.  
Jade honestly says: “Still exhausted.”  
“Understandable,” Leah says. “But congratulations to your new two baby boys.”  
“Thank you,” Beck says with a smile.  
“They are so little,” Nathaniel notices. They are. They are smaller than Benji or Nicky were when they were born.  
Beck nods, before he asks his father: “Wanna hold Josh?”  
Nathaniel of course wants to and takes the baby out of his son’s arms. Nicky sees the chance to finally also occupy his father. Still clinging to Jade with one arm, he reaches with the other over Benji to Beck. “Daddy.”  
Beck ruffles his hair. “Hey, little one.” He leans over and kisses his cheek a few times while his parents start talking about Josh and the way he looks.  
Nicky’s delighted by all the kisses, starts laughing and finally lets go of his mother, only to wrap both his arms around his father instead. Beck lifts him over Benji into his own lap, still kissing him.  
Benji meanwhile asks into the room: “Does anybody else wanna hold... Eli, yes?”  
He checks the name with his mother who nods, before she takes the baby out of his arms: “Yes. Come on, let me give him to your nana.”  
Caitlyn of course has only waited for a chance to also lay her hands on one of her new grandsons, to truly meet them.  
That’s how they spend the rest of the visit, almost until lunch. All of their four visitors gushing over the new children.

Beck and Jade take Benji, Nicky, Eli and Josh all to the hospital cafetaria for lunch as soon as the others are gone. Beck will drive home with Benji and Nicky in the evening again. He always has a baby seat for Nickyin his car anyway, so there wasn’t even trouble switching it out of Caitlyn’s car (who used the one they have at home) to his.  
They don’t use baby slings or anything else yet, but each carry a baby in their arms, while Benji luckily takes it upon himself to lead Nicky to the cafetaria by his hand. As they eat, Beck and Jade already notice how damn difficult their lives will be again, with both of them only having one hand to eat, while both having to carry a child, and then also having to help Nicky eat while talking to Benji about how he liked the night with his nana and uncle.  
They’re barely back in the room, when Tori, Andre and Ruby come with little Sharon. Sharon isn’t even half a year old yet and of course has no idea what’s going on. But the adults are even happier to meet the twins – and Andre and Ruby are also happy to see Benji and Nicky again.  
Tori also asks when Cat and Robbie might come visit, and where.  
Apparently, Cat called Tori directly after the news and they almost talked all night. Robbie texted with Andre that same night and then called Tori this morning, as he didn’t want Andre, who has a family himself, to trouble himself with the logistics, so he also asked Tori to ask for him.  
“When will they be back in town?” Jade checks.  
Tori answers, while she’s rocking Elijah in her arms, glancing down all the time into that cute face: “Cat said she’ll manage on Tuesday and Robbie would like to drive down here tomorrow to meet them.”  
That sounds good to Beck and Jade, so they agree to that. They also all agree that they should try to manage to meet up all together soon.  
Though Andre notices: “It probably won’t get easier with you having four kids now. I mean... I finally understand what it’s like to have a kid at all and then try doing it all, like working and spending time with your family and then being with you guys. I don’t think I ever truly realized it before how much you two have to work for all of it. Now with two more kids...”  
“Well, as long as you’re fine with all of them also being around, it’s doable,” Beck responds.

It’s not that easy though.  
Beck himself still has to film for two weeks before he’s home around the clock with Jade for a few weeks (except of auditions here or there). Jade barely knows how to handle all of it during those first two weeks and quickly takes all the help she gets offered. Nathaniel takes time off of work for the first week (apparently, there’s not much to do at work for him anyway at the moment, so it’s easy to talk his boss into it). Leah and Caitlyn split the other week and they all are around the house when Beck isn’t.  
It just suddenly is so much.  
Neither Beck nor Jade get much sleep, now with those two children more. And then, Nicky also suddenly is so dependent on them.  
He usually wants to do everything by himself. Or wanted to. He doesn’t anymore. He reverts back and Beck and Jade knew that could happen but it doesn’t make it easier. Obviously he sees how much care his parents take of the babies and he wants to have that same attention.  
Beck and Jade give it to him as much as they can. They’re sure he will grow out of it sooner if they go with it – also to let him know that he can trust them and that they still love him despite the new babies.  
Their friends all do come to visit when the twins are only two months old. Benji’s off to a friend’s house for most of the visit but comes back in between, while Nicky, Eli, Josh and Sharon are all there and don’t give the adults too much room to talk about anything but the children, which is bad enough as Robbie brings his new girlfriend for the first time, whom he has dated for three months now and whom he’s always talked about with such a light in his eyes. Of course, Jade wanted to roast her, to check out if this woman, Beatrice, is good enough for Robbie, but she’s too tired to get into it as much as she’d like.  
Their friends also have enough sense to leave them alone before it’s getting too late to allow them to go to sleep – at the same time as Benji does, nowadays. They’re sure that they often are asleep even earlier, while Benji still reads or plays in his room. And that’s though he also only is ten years old.  
The thing is that... throughout the night, either Nicky or Eli or Josh always seem to be awake and to need one of them. Jade and Beck never have been this tired.

Another month passes by with them barely noticing. Summer break is approaching. Beck and Jade can honestly barely wait for break to be over again, though it hasn’t even started. Nicky will finally start preschool after summer, which will at least only leave Eli and Josh to be taken care off for a few hours over the day – next to housework and other jobs they might have in between.  
By now, Jade’s able to handle it when Beck is out of the house for a few hours to work without needing someone else there but it’s hard. Beck has also relieved her for a few hours, had sent her to meet up with Cat alone one time and another time to watch a horror movie with Andre alone, to have some time for herself, away from the children. She hasn’t gotten around to write on a script or alike. He co-writers for her show let her out of the responsibility but told her to come back to it when she feels like it.  
Benji soon notices something about them though.  
Benji’s doing his homework while Jade cleans up the kitchen, rocking Josh in her arms at the same time. Josh has been whining about nothing really, earlier, and is still calming down.  
But Jade gets interrupted when Beck walks in with Eli, whom he has changed and who’s crying now.  
“He needs to be nursed,” he only says.  
The babies also both take the bottle, had to when Jade was out those two times. She also sometimes expresses milk for Beck to be able to feed them during night or alike. But usually she’s too exhausted to express milk, and it’s easier anyway to just have them latch onto her breast without troubling with a bottle and possibly having to find the right temperature with that.  
They exchange babies like they do all the time for three months now, Jade responding: “Then put him down. I bet he could use some sleep. And then play with Nicky.”  
Nicky seems to be having the time of his life on the floor with a weird colorful robot, Robbie got him a while ago. He doesn’t need anyone at the moment, but he probably needs someone by the time Beck has taken care of Josh.  
Beck nods and possibly wants to go to the living room with Josh, sit down on the couch there while rocking him to sleep. Maybe he also just wants to pace through the room a little to rock the baby to sleep.  
Meanwhile Jade sits down on one of the stools around the kitchen counter, starting to nurse Eli right there.  
Benji has stopped with his homework, watches them and now asks: “Have you talked about anything other than the babies today?”  
He totally also means to include Nicky with the word ‘babies’, which the young boy wouldn’t appreciate if he would notice. But with only being two and a half he probably wouldn’t have noticed with a question like that, though he’s too occupied with his robot anyway.  
Beck doesn’t need to think long: “We also talked about how proud we are that you’re doing a school play earlier.”  
Of course both his parents assume that... he might also want them to talk about him. The words Beck and Jade mostly excange these days are just about what Nicky, Eli and Josh need and how to provide. They don’t need to talk about Benji that much.  
But they did talk about his school play earlier. Gosh, are they proud of that! They’ll do anything to manage sitting in that audience. For his very first school play. And they didn’t even tell him to audition for it. He chose to do so by himself, wanted to try it out. How couldn’t they be proud, do they both love acting so much themselves?  
Benji waves it away like an annoying fly. “Yeah, but I mean... Have you talked about anything but us kids today?”  
That makes both Beck and Jade stop. Have they? Have they talked about anything but the kids for the last few days? Or weeks?  
Benji interprets their silence the right way and continues: “Have you kissed at all today?”  
His parents share a look, a bit stunned.  
They kiss so often, but... have they at all today? They always share a morning kiss. But Jade remembers that Beck got up with Eli at one point and she still nursed Josh in bed and then Beck dropped Eli with her, while he got Nicky, who woke up, before they had to get Benji ready for school and... they didn’t even kiss as Beck gave Eli to Jade. Back with Benji, they almost always kissed when they handed him over. It was just their little thing. They even did that with Nicky mostly.  
But they barely have time anymore. Though... Not even time to share a quick kiss? Though both of them love to kiss each other?  
Benji again doesn’t need an answer. Wisely, he instead tells them: “You should go out together. Just the two of you.”  
Beck and Jade keep looking at each other, before Jade turns back to Benji. “Maybe you’re right.”  
“I’m always right,” Benji easily answers with a sudden grin. His parents grin too and Beck ruffles his hair with his free hand. Benji defends himself laughing, pushing his father away.  
Later that day, Jade makes it a point to share a kiss with Beck, a long and slow one. Beck is the love of her life. She realizes she was about to forget that with taking care of all their children. She can’t forget it.

Yet, there’s also Benji. Benji who’s such a good kid, never complains, never asks too much of them, never seems jealous of the attention his little brothers are getting. Always ready to take one of his brothers if the need arises (though Beck and Jade also do everything so that that need doesn’t arise all that often).  
They haven’t had any quality time with him at all since the babies were born. And Jade still hasn’t made up to him that she also couldn’t do all that much with him while being on bed rest at the end of the pregnancy.  
She feels comfortable at the thought of having someone else watch all three of her younger kids. The twins are four months old and Jade knows they’ll be fine staying with their grandparents for a few hours, maybe even for a whole night. Nicky will be too.  
As important as Jade finds the time with Beck to be... the time they have with Benji still being a child is also limited. He will be a teenager soon enough, in only three years. And he probably doesn’t want to spend all that much time with them anymore, the older he gets.  
Jade wants to talk about it to Beck but before she can take her chance that night, when they’re finally both in bed and all children are too, he approaches the topic himself: “Do we want to go out this Saturday and call around tomorrow to ask who’ll take the kids?”  
Jade loves that he’s directly making plans. Neither of them is the type to just say that they will do something some day and then not go through with it. But she knows it would’ve been easy to let this one slide with the stress they otherwise have.  
She makes an agreeing noise, thinking about Benji again though.  
She’s never hesitant to say anything to Beck, but she doesn’t need him to misunderstand her right now, for them possibly to fight or alike because he thinks she doesn’t want to spend time with him alone. She knows how that feels. There was a time when Benji wasn’t even two years old where Jade felt like Beck didn’t want to spend any time alone with her anymore. It felt like he didn’t love her anymore, they were constantly fighting and almost broke up. She hates the thought of that happening ever again.  
She doesn’t have to make a decision about how to approach the subject. Beck’s the one to do it.  
“You know, I’ve been thinking... We should totally spend time alone together, but... Maybe, if we have someone for the other three, we also should use the time instead to spend with Benji and do something he likes with him, both of us alone with him.”  
Jade can’t believe it. He actually thought that, too?  
He seems nervous. He must also be afraid that this could give her the impression of him not wanting to be alone with her.  
Instead of telling him she thought the same thing, she just charges forward and kisses him as hard as she also hasn’t done for weeks, trying to put all her love for him into the kiss. The love for this amazing man that also cares so much about their children.

 

They decide to split the children up. Eli and Josh like to sleep in the same bed together. They have two beds for them but have long found out that they sleep at least a bit longer when they share a bed. But they still wake up so much during night and Beck and Jade don’t want their parents to have to take care of two babies at the same time.  
Instead, they give Eli to Beck’s parents, Josh to Jade’s mother and brother and Nicky’s going to stay with Cat. Not just for a few hours but for the whole night if it works out and the children will be able to deal with it.  
They told Benji they could spend the evening however he liked (with the thought of him going to sleep eventually and them then possibly still having a little time for themselves before they were too tired again). He promptly and very happily picked to go to a very fancy restaurant.  
They go out to eat every now and then, but never anywhere fancy. Not with the kids and with then possibly people glaring at them for the kids not behaving “the right way”.  
But Benji now wants to try out and Beck and Jade are more than willing to fulfil him that wish.  
Benji also tells them that he just wants that dinner though and that his parents totally should take time for themselves afterwards. After thinking about it for another day, Beck and Jade ask Juliett, Benji’s best friend’s mother, if they can drop Benji off after dinner and if he can sleep over with them, which she agrees to.

Beck and Jade are using the chance to dress up, with Benji dressing up too. After dropping off Eli, Josh and Nicky, with all of their babysitters having to promise to call if anything’s up, they drive to that promised fancy restaurant where they were lucky to still get a table for the three of them in that short amount of time.  
Benji clearly enjoys himself. He needs help by his parents to know what to order, but then also enjoys the food.  
Beck and Jade talk to him about his life and then life in general. Both enjoy it incredibly that Benji has so many own opinions by now, being ten years old even quite smart ones. They talk about his world views and discuss the latest news.  
Then, as they eat desserts, it gets silent for a while, and Jade has to say it to her boy that’s already so grown up: “We’re sorry we barely get around to talk to you like this lately.”  
Benji’s concentrated on his ice cream, but still says: “I’m glad you’re not on me all the time.”  
Beck and Jade share a confused look. “Seriously?” Beck asks.  
Benji nods. “Yeah. I was an only child for seven years. I’m glad I’m not having your full attention the full time.”  
Beck almost snorts. Well, okay then. The thing is, he could imagine that he would’ve felt the same. He knows what it’s like when you have you parents’ full attention. It’s not a bad thing. He was always well cared for. But maybe, he would’ve also liked it if a sibling would’ve come along at one point and he wouldn’t have been the only... everything they had. Though his parents also worked, just like Beck and Jade did. And Beck also always made sure to not control Benji as much as his parents did, even when he was younger than he is now.  
Jade meanwhile goes with her hand through Benji’s hair. “We did a really good job raising you, huh?”  
“But tell us if you ever need attention,” Beck adds, because they can’t risk taking their oldest son for granted or anything.  
“Sure,” Benji says carelessly. “Though I bet it will be more difficult for the other three. They didn’t have so many years of being alone with you.”  
Beck and Jade share another look. Well, that’s true. They always had to share them, unlike Benji. And obviously, that doesn’t mean that younger siblings are always worse off than older ones. Older siblings often draw the short stick by having to take care of their younger siblings or being negleted in favor of the younger siblings that seem to need their parents more. But apparently, Beck and Jade, despite everything, are doing a good enough job with Benji.  
Beck thinks of it: “What do you think about us having special time with each and every one of you?” Each of them having a few hours with both their parents, just one of them at a time.  
That makes Benji beam. “That would be awesome.” He does like that idea as he also does like to spend time with his parents.  
Both Beck and Jade smile at him, before Jade asks, almost with a sigh: “How can our baby be so wise?” How can he be so in touch with his and his brothers’ emotions that he realizes how much attention he needs himself and how his brothers might feel some day?  
Benji rolls his eyes and says in an exasperated tone, that’s not really exasperated at all but almost affectionate: “You have three babies at home. Why do you insist on still calling me that?”  
Beck and Jade have to laugh.

 

“You should wear a suit more often,” Jade says, as soon as they’re back home, just the two of them. Both have shortly checked their phones to make sure that still nobody called them, while they went to the living room, then they started kissing.  
“While being on the playground with the kids?” Beck teases with a grin.  
Jade looks at him dead serious. “Exactly.”  
And she kisses him again, long and sweet.  
He knows what she means. Obviously, it’s nice to see the other one dressed up every once in a while. Not that they don’t love their usual style – which honestly didn’t change too much since high school. Both also do still take care of their looks as much as they can. It gets lost sometimes and neither is able to cover the dark circles under their eyes anymore, but... they don’t neglect themselves.  
But this is something more special, and yes, it’s wonderful.  
They dressed up like this for their third date where Beck also took Jade to a fancy restaurant. But it’s funnily not that of which Beck always gets reminded when they go out into a restaurant like that.  
He says, when they break apart again: “You know, when you dress up like this to go out to eat... it always reminds me of those dinners with our ‘ping pong’ team.”  
They also went out like this sometimes when they still had only one or even two kids. Not really when both still were in college, because they didn’t want to spend their parents’ money on it. But when Beck got a job then, they occasionally got out to celebrate little things.  
Those weren’t the only times they dressed up. Of course there were other occasions, for Jade’s graduation or job wise, and those never reminded Beck of those ping pong dinners. But when he eats with a dressed up Jade... He always sees that girl from back then.  
“Those were good ones,” Jade says with a smirk. Also remembering them fondly, not just because of the good time they spent together and with their friends, but also because it involved being deceitful and breaking the rules.  
They kiss again, before Beck continues: “I already thought you looked beautiful back then. You look absolutely ravishing nowadays.”  
Jade takes the compliment this time, doesn’t try to twist it into something bad. Instead, she smiles and kisses him again. He guesses he should tell her more often how beautiful she is. Now with having gone through three pregnancies and bearing four children... He bets she doesn’t feel that way. And yes, her body has changed so much with every pregnancy, but especially the last one. But not necessarily in a bad way. And her presence is still so... perfect.  
Beck still gets taken by her. And especially as he sees her dressed up like this, he can’t believe he got this lucky, in every possible way. After all those years, he still finds her to be the most beautiful, the sexiest, the smartest, the wittiest, the most caring person in the whole world.  
After another long kiss, they move over to the couch and lie down there, still in their good clothes. They don’t undress each other too much, Jade Beck just a little. They don’t end up having sex tonight, but first fall asleep on the couch and then later move to their bedroom, change into more comfortable clothes there and fall asleep again.  
As much as they got reminded again how attracted they are to each other, they are still exhausted and neither has enough energy for sex. They only have it again a few months later, when they finally have more of a routine with all those kids and Nicky also gets more independent again, finally trusting his parents once more to love him and never leave him, despite the new babies. It gets easier.  
But for now, they are still way too exhausted.  
They do share some more slow kisses before Jade lies her head on Beck’s chest, both feeling absolutely at peace.  
Jade’s also the one to whisper after a while: “We will survive this, right?”  
Sometimes it doesn’t feel like it. Beck knows that feeling. The last night neither of them slept more than two hours at a time has been before the twins came. Which now has been four months ago.  
Beck has to remind himself of Jade’s words all the time. Back when they only had Benji and he one night couldn’t stand the crying anymore. That he still loved his son and that that was the important part. That it was okay to be annoyed but that he should remember that he even loves him then.  
It keeps him from... loosing control sometimes, as exhausted as he is. He thinks of that enormous love inside of him when he almost falls asleep standing up, taking care of one of the boys.  
And the thing is: Yes, they will survive. Though it feels never ending at the moment, it’s not. Beck knows that older kids also aren’t always easy. They are in luck with Benji so far, always have been, as he always has been an easy child. Who knows how he will be as a teenager? Who knows how Nicky will be, who already has such a strong mind? Or how much trouble Josh or Eli will make?  
But Beck feels that both he and Jade will like those troubles better than the sleepless nights now.  
“We will,” he confirms. “Though I’m so damn tired.”  
“I know. We’re even too tired to fight. Have you noticed?” Jade asks.  
He pauses for a moment. Wow. He hasn’t noticed. But it’s totally true. Well... They barely have talked except about the kids. They barely had time or nerve to talk.  
But back when they were stressed out with Benji and school, they always got into fighting. They still did before the twins, when they were stressed. It’s an outlet for both of them. They sometimes need it. They also still take care to not let it go too far since the last time they broke up, when Benji was still an infant.  
“You’re right,” Beck says surprised. “Well, at least there’s that.”  
Jade thoughtfully runs her hand over his arm, before she quietly says: “I miss us bickering.”  
Okay, heck, he misses it too. He suddenly realizes that he misses so much of Jade and of them together, though they spend most their time together at the moment. Well, not really together. More next to each other  
He confesses his own realization: “I do, too. I miss everything about us. I miss us. I miss you.”  
Jade lifts her head again and looks him into his eyes with him looking back as she says, so honest and open: “I love you, Beck.”  
“I love you, too,” Beck says, putting his hand in her neck, pulling her down for a kiss, before he continues: “I really do. And I love our children. All four of them.”  
Jade almost sighs. “I will never get used to that number.”  
Beck grins and teases: “Want one more? Maybe, you’d get used to the number five.”  
“God, no, Beck,” Jade says with a laugh. “Shoot me if I ever get that idea.”  
“N’aw. You know I never could,” Beck says.  
Jade promptly responds, as if serious: “And I thought you loved me.” So, he should do as she says.  
Beck grins again. “I do. I love you so much, Jade.” And he pulls her into another kiss.


	12. Hurting

Children get sick all the time, especially the little ones are constantly infecting each other at one point. They also otherwise get injured a lot. Benji due to hockey training nowadays but the smaller children too. They just bump with their head against furniture and alike or fall down or scrap their knees. It sometimes looks terrible and they also need to go to the hospital sometimes but mostly it’s nothing to worry about.  
Only once, Beck was scared like hell. He can still remember all of it too well. Back when Benji was only one and a half years old and had a lung infection.  
Benji slept with Jade that night, while Beck slept in the RV. He got woken up by his phone ringing and saw that it was Jade calling. And that at 5:04am on a Monday morning with them having school that day.  
He didn’t think as he picked up: “Mhm?”  
And then there was Jade’s voice like he never heard it: “Benji isn’t breathing right.”  
As tired as he was he needed a second. A second to realize that there was absolute terror in Jade’s voice. And then another second to realize what she said.  
He sat up, suddenly wide awake. “What?”  
“Something’s wrong,” Jade answered, beside herself. “I don’t know what to do.”  
This couldn’t be happening. There could be nothing wrong with their little baby. “Are you at the hospital?” he asked while he got up and already out of the pajama pants he was wearing, to get dressed and get to Jade and their son.  
“My mom is calling the ambulance,” Jade answered and then, desperate, fearful and begging: “Beck. You need to come. You need to come. Beck, please.”  
“I’m on my way,” Beck promised. “Stay with him.”  
He needed to know she was with him. He needed her to be with him. Their baby boy couldn’t be alone if he was suffering in any way.  
He didn’t wait for an answer. He hung up and got dressed faster than he ever had and then already was out of his RV. He got into the car and drove to Jade’s.  
He didn’t have a single thought in his head. There was just fear. A painful sort of fear.  
He couldn’t comprehend what Jade said. He didn’t know what it meant that Benji wasn’t breathing right. But he still had Jade’s voice in his head. The panic in her voice, the desperation. He would never forget it.  
He also would never forget the sight of the ambulance in Jade’s driveway.  
He stopped his car on the side of the road and jumped out. He saw the medics transporting something small into the ambulance. Jade and her mother were hurrying behind them, Jade as white as a ghost, shaking.  
He felt like he couldn’t breathe as he called out for her.  
“Beck!” she immediately answered, only seeing him now, too concentrated on the medics before to notice the car.  
Beck ran up to her and they collided in a hug that felt like both their lives depended on it. That moment, they did.  
Beck could hear Jade’s mother say: “He’s the father.”  
A moment, then a medic decided: “Just this once, they can both come with us.”  
Then there was a hand on Beck’s back and apparently one on Jade’s too, at least she drew back. It was Jade’s mother who now softly told them: “Get into the ambulance. Be with your son. I’ll come to the hospital in a sec.”  
Jade nodded, took Beck’s hand in hers and pulled him to the ambulance.  
Beck was barely able to look at his little boy during the whole ride. He kept clinging to Jade, breathed her in and in between he told himself off, because he should look at Benji because what if this was the last time he ever could, but he quickly threw those thoughts out of his head, clinging even harder to Jade.  
Jade also had her fingers digged into his shirt as if she needed to know that he kept at her side while she stared at Benji though who was treated by a medic as much as they could during the ride.

They weren’t allowed to stay with Benji in the hospital. They were left in the waiting area while the medical team rushed off with their baby.  
Jade hat a hard grip on Beck’s upper arm by now, while she stared after Benji though. And Beck had enough sense to call his parents, knowing they would want to know about this – and that he possibly needed them.  
The call was short. It started with him saying that Benji was in the hospital and ended after he was sure his parents unterstood what was happening and where they were without any word of goodbye.  
Only when he hung up, he looked back into Jade’s face. He never saw her like this. And it scared him more than he could ever tell. Her eyes were so empty and so full of fear at the same time.  
He needed to pull her into a hug and that finally made her turn away from the door Benji left through. Instead, she pressed her face into shoulder and took a deep yet shaky breath.  
“We can’t loose him, Beck,” she whispered after a moment, desperate. “We can’t.”  
She sounded broken and lost and he answered: “I know. We won’t.” He had to believe that himself.  
They kept holding onto each other until their parents came. Even then, they sort of did while both their parents hugged them. The doctors came after their parents did, telling them that their little boy would be okay, that he had a lung infection but that they should get it under control.  
Beck and Jade got to be with him, until it was time for school, when Beck’s parents, after a call to school, made him go there. He felt awful and guilty for having to leave Benji. But at the same time he knew he would be okay. Jade was with him.  
Though he knew he couldn’t bear to ever get a call by Jade like that again. He could never hear her voice like that, could never see her eyes as empty.

o  
O  
o  
O  
o

You get scared sometimes for your children but for ten years they did quite good. Benji broke his arm during hockey practice once but that wasn’t something too scary or anything as it also wasn’t life threatening.  
They have been smaller injuries and sicknesses that weren’t fun and that stressed them at times, but nothing serious.  
It’s the beginning of April. Benji has turned eleven, Nicky’s three and Eli and Josh just turned one year old. They’re home on a nice Sunday, have been to the playground and are now in the living room, all together. Beck’s playing with Eli and Josh on the floor, a whole lot of toys between them with which the twins don’t really play yet, but they’re grabbing and licking everything and have fun with that.  
Jade’s helping Benji with his school project at the table. He had to research a few historical events and now has to decide how to explain and present them to his class.  
Nicky has worked on some lego, building something that his parents don’t recognize as anything yet, but now asks for the juice they took to the playground with them.  
The bottle’s still in the bag they took to the playground and they put that in the kitchen.  
Jade tells him to go get it, remembering she left it on the floor at the table when all of them came in. “Can you get it yourself?” Jade checks though she and Beck both know the answer.  
“Yes,” the little boy says. Of course he’ll get it himself.  
They have taken glasses and his sippy cup into the living room with them already so they only need the bottle if they want to drink that juice and Nicky can very well get that himself.  
He runs off and both his parents concentrate back on their other children, until they hear a loud thud.  
The whole family turns to the door to the kitchen. Something must’ve happened. Though Nicky isn’t crying or screaming or anything.  
That’s good enough for Benji who turns back to his work. Jade meanwhile says: “I’m gonna see what happened.”  
Beck lets her. He’s keeping Eli from hitting Josh at the same moment. Not that Eli is hitting his brother on purpose. They’re still too little to really get what’s going on. He’s just moving the toy car in his hand a bit too wildly and that into Josh’ direction. Beck takes the car out of his hand and tries to distract Eli at the same time so he won’t cry for loosing his toy.  
And then, Beck hears the sound that freezes his every muscles, that draws into his bones, that makes him sick faster than anything else ever could. Jade’s voice, fearful and urgent: “No. No, no, no, no. No! Nicky! Beck! Beck!”  
He’s up his feet before he knows it and rushes into the kitchen, only having enough sense to tell Benji and the twins, though the latter won’t understand yet: “Stay here.” He knows right away that his other children shouldn’t see what happened in the room.  
The sight is even worse than Jade’s voice. One of the stools that usually stand around the kitchen counter lies on the ground. And next to it lies Nicky, unconscious.  
And they never had that. They never had one of their children hurt and then being unconscious. They both immediately knows how terrible this can end. They can even directly check with Nicky how he feels. Who knows how badly he hit his head and what’ll be the result.  
Jade’s on her knees on his side, a hand on his chest, only shortly glancing to Beck with those same empty eyes Beck has only once seen before in his life, before she turns back to stare at Nicky and whispering, her voice filling more and more with utmost desperation: “Nicky, wake up. Please wake up. You have to wake up.”  
He doesn’t think as he pulls out his phone and calls the ambulance. They stay on the phone with him, telling him the amublance should be there in three minutes. They ask if the boy’s alive.  
He confirms because nothing else can be true. You can’t immediately die by falling from a stool, can you? Can a child if it falls onto its head?  
He weakly asks Jade after all: “Does he breathe?”  
He doesn’t know if he’ll be able to stand the answer if it was negative. But thankfully, Jade’s answer is a Yes as she has the presence of mind to turn Nicky on his side, just in case he throws up while being unconscious or alike. They both did take a first aid class for children after Benji’s lung infection as they noticed they both didn’t know what to do if his heart would’ve stopped or alike.  
Beck closes his eyes, taking a shaky breath. He only opens his eyes again when there’s Benji’s voice: “Oh, god.”  
He has walked into the kitchen, obviously wondering what all of this is about.  
“Benji, get out,” Beck tells him sharply, already seeing how his son’s eyes turn as empty as his wife’s. He can’t see his little brother like this. Heck, Beck can’t even bare to look at him like this. He doesn’t dare getting closer to him and Jade. And he doesn’t have to as long as Jade is there.  
Benji doesn’t back out and Beck calls him out on it: “Benjamin! Now.”  
He steers him out and at the same time the doorbell rings.  
“Watch your brothers,” Beck tells Benji, pointing to the twins still sitting on the floor, having no idea what’s going on, that anything’s going on at all, while he himself rushes off to the front door, talking on the phone again, confirming that the medics arrived.  
He guides them through the house to the kitchen. They swiftly check on Nicky, asking what happened. Neither Beck nor Jade can really answer that. They assume he fell of the stool from how it fell down too. They don’t know why he climbed on it or anything.  
Only later that night Beck will notice the cookies on the counter and will guess that Nicky noticed them too while getting the juice and that that’s the reason why he climbed on the stool, to reach the counter, and that he somehow misstepped and fell with the stool, hitting his head on the floor. An unlikely accident that shouldn’t have happened, that his parents never thought to be possible in that way.  
The medics decide to take Nicky to the hospital and tell them that one of them can ride with them.  
Jade finally stands up again and turns to look at Beck. Beck has carefully approached while the medics checked on Nicky, has seen the little body on the floor and has almost fallen apart.  
“Beck,” Jade says with a weak voice, stepping up to him. Her hands grip his upper arms.  
He knows what she’s feeling. She wants both of them to stay together and with Nicky at the same time. But that’s not an option. Only one can go with Nicky. Not only because the medics aren’t ready to take both of them with them, but because they also have three other kids they need to take care off.  
Beck takes another shaky breath. He knows neither feels well about doing this by themselves, but they have to. And if somebody should stay with their injured child, it’s Jade. She’s stronger than he is, she’ll keep it together around him.  
So he says, urgently: “You go with him. Stay by his side. I’ll take the others to my parents and then come to the hospital.”  
Jade’s eyes run over his face, as if making sure that that’s the way he wants to do it, then she nods and they share a quick kiss that’s too short but they don’t have the time for anything else.  
Then, Jade rushes off after the medics with Beck only following as far as to the living room.  
He sees the ambulance leave out of the window and then closes his eyes for a second, trying to calm himself down far enough to take care of his other kids.  
But he’s still at it, when Benji suddenly says, of course having listened but letting Beck have some time, before: “I won’t go to your parents.”  
Beck immediately glares at him like he never does at anyone but Jade when they fight. “You will.”  
“I’ll come to the hospital with you,” Benji says.  
He won’t. Beck gets that he’s scared too but this is not the time for him to make decision. That’s why he says with a harsh voice: “Benjamin! I need you to do as you’re told.”  
For a few seconds they glare at each other, before Benji angrily spits out: “Fine!”  
He even does still help getting the twins into the car before they drive off together.  
Beck doesn’t feel like getting out of the car with the three kids when they arrive at his parents’ place, wants to just quickly drop them off and leave again, but he can’t throw them out of the car and leave the eleven year old Benji standing there with two one year olds. It could very well be that his parents aren’t home and then they woud have a serious problem.  
So he rushes to the door, Eli in his arms while Benji follows him with Josh, and rings the doorbell, not only once, but two or three times.  
His mother comes to answer the door and beams when she sees them. “Hey, you guys.”  
She might think that one of the kids rang the door bell so often or alike. He pushes Eli in her arms though and turns to his oldest son again: “Benji, explain to them what’s going on.”  
And to all of his children. “I love you.”  
He kisses Eli’s temple first, then Josh’, and then also leans in to kiss Benji, but he dodges it with a grumpy face and pushes him away.  
He can’t stay to talk it out with Benji and leaves it at that for now. He and the twins will be fine. He’ll get back to it, to his oldest baby. But for now, he has bigger worries.  
And he hurries back to the car, closing his eyes once more while he gets into the car, praying silently that all his children will be okay. That Nicky is okay.

He finds Jade in the waiting area and they immediately collide in a hug, like all those years back, worried in the same way like back with Benji.  
Jade needs a minute of that hug, before she explains quietly that they told her they would operate but that she doesn’t know anything more than that.  
After that it’s silent again and they just hold each other.  
Beck knows other couples would fight in a situation like this. Humans can be weird like that. Many parents would give the other one the fault for what happened, consumed by guilt themselves but having to accuse the other to not feel like dying on the inside.  
Beck and Jade also will both feel guilty for what happened in the days to come and will fight, using each other as outlets – though they’ll never accuse the other for what happened.  
For now, they can’t feel guilty. And while they always bicker, they also can’t do it now. They can’t fight as they need to hold each other close, as they both feel way too powerless and scared and can’t let the other one go.

The doctor explains to them that Nicky had an Intracranial Hermorrhage, that they successfully operated on him, that he should be fine but that they’ll keep him in the hospital for now and will watch him and that one of them will, due to his young age, be able to stay the night with him.  
With that being said, they finally get to see their little boy again. He’s still under anesthesia but both clutch to either of his sides until he wakes from it. He doesn’t remember what happened. Of course he doesn’t. He’s groggy and grumpy. He asks for his brothers and then actually wants to cuddle with both his parents.  
They do until visiting hours are over. Jade looks at Beck with big eyes as soon as the nurse is gone again. She hasn’t thought about the fact that one of them would have to leave and it’s obvious that she can’t bear the thought to leave their son after the day they had.  
He gets it. And he also would love to stay with Nicky but... he also knows that Jade will take care of him. And Jade needs this more than he does. He can take care of their other boys, can keep them close to calm down. He would love to stay with Jade and Nicky and he knows Jade would also prefer him to stay instead of leaving but that wasn’t a choice they could make.  
He promptly calms her down, because he knows she’s scared he’ll want her to leave. She just can’t right now.  
“You stay with him.”  
Jade intentively looks at his face, from the other side of Nicky. They both lie to either of his sides. The little boy still isn’t totally there. He’s much quieter than usual. They asked the nurse just now and she said it was normal.  
“Are you sure?” Jade asks.  
Beck leans over, puts a hand in her neck, pulls her into a kiss, before he quietly says: “Yeah. I love you, Jade.”  
She kisses him back in a way that tells him that she loves him too, more than anything else. Him and their kids.

 

Beck’s parents say they should stay the night but Beck takes his boys home. He called Caitlyn on the way, Jade’s mother, to bring her daughter and grandson pajamas and everything else they need into the hospital. Caitlyn already knew what was going on through Beck’s parents. Who knew because Benji told them.  
Beck quickly texted his parents when they knew that Nicky was okay, but without any explanation, just so they also could calm down and also calm Benji down.  
Beck now explains to them what the doctors said, before he takes his boys home. There, Benji quickly leaves for his room. He’s still angry that he wasn’t allowed in the hospital. And Beck knows he’s also still scared though he listened intentively when Beck told his parents that the doctors weren’t too worried after the operation. He did see his little brother lying almost dead on the floor. It’s a difficult picture to forget. Beck knows he never will.  
Benji knows it’s stupid to be angry and to still be scared but he can’t help himself. He’s just having too many emotions. He knows this is exactly how his mother feels at times and what makes her lash out every now and then. All of what’s inside of her and now him.  
It’s already late when they’re home. Benji knows that while he gets ready for bed in his own bathroom, Beck is getting the twins ready to go to sleep too and then is also already off to bed. It has been a long day. And he knows that his father also won’t feel like still watching TV or anything. Instead he’ll lie in his and Jade’s bed and stare at the crib in which he will have put the twins together tonight. Because he feels like company, he will want them to have each other’s company too. And he’ll just stare at them, making sure they’re okay.  
Benji’s a mama’s boy. He knows it himself. He goes to his mother first when he’s having a problem. He also likes cuddling with her more when he’s sick.  
But that doesn’t mean he loves his father any less. Or that he feels not as safe with his father as with his mother.  
And when he lies in the dark in his room and he sees Nicky in front of his inner eye again, lifeless on the floor... He has to stand up and sneak down from his attic room to his parents’ one.  
His father left his door open as if he anticipated him coming at night. And as he tiptoes into the room, his father immediately turns. He indeed stared at the crib before where both Eli and Josh are fast asleep. And though Benji feels like his moving around the house was in complete silence, his father still heard him.  
He isn’t surprised to see him but waves him around without a sound and he raises his blanket on the side away from the door, where Jade usually sleeps, where Beck lied now before making room for Benji.  
Benji knows Beck still wants to be able to look at the twins. Benji slips under the blanket next to his father, turned to him and cuddles into him.  
His father puts a hand protectively on the back of his head and Benji feels like he can suddenly breathe much easier.  
And he knows he doesn’t have to apologize for his behaviour. In front of everyone but his parents he would have to, but his parents are so used to it from each other. They love this way and right now he’s thankful for that. He’s thankful he doesn’t have to keep talking about this to his father, that his father would never deny him love or comfort until he would apologize or alike, like he knows some of his friends’ parents are doing. And yes, maybe it’s more healthy to talk about everything, to apologize accordingly, but right now, Benji’s just happy their family works this way.  
Easily, he mumbles as he’s about to fall asleep in his father’s arms, safe and warm: “Love you.”  
“I love you, too,” Benji still hears his father whisper before he feels a soft kiss being pressed on the top of his head.

 

The next day, they drive to the hospital as early as they can. Beck shortly wonders if he should drop Eli and Josh off with one of their usual babysitters as they’re still so young and don’t understand anyway, but then he remembers that he promised Nicky the night before, as he left, that he would take all his brothers to see him today. Nicky then asked, if he would take him home with them afterwards, which Beck had to deny him as it sounded like the doctors wanted to keep him a bit longer in the hospital to observe him.  
Benji feels absolute relief wash over him as he sees Nicky, very much well and alive. He’s still tired, never likes mornings, but has that usual toothy smile in his face and jumps up and down on his bed as he sees his family.  
Beck hugs Nicky first after putting the twins on the bed with his son and his wife. Benji shares a hug with his mother that she keeps longer than he would have. She also kisses his temple, before she lets go.  
Then Benji finally gets to hug his little brother that he almost lost. Nicky hugs back, happy about all the attention and love.  
And as they hug, Benji looks over to his parents. His mother has dropped kisses onto Eli and Josh, but now, she and his father are in a deep kiss.  
By now, it sometimes disgusts him a bit when they kiss like that. It’s so much more than a peck. It’s so... sexual is a word he will use for it in a few years. Benji slowly grows into an age where most people don’t like seeing their parents that way.  
Beck now also pushes Jade into a lying position on the bed as they kiss, is leaned over her with half his body.  
It doesn’t disgust him this time. It just shows how much they need each other, how desperate and close they are. And in this moment, Benji’s happy to see it. Happy to see that they’re all holding on to each other and finding comfort in each other, after they all feel like they almost lost Nicky.

It’s difficult over the next weeks. Beck and Jade are both scared for anything like that accident to happen again and for a while they watch over their every move, they watch over all four of their kids closely. Benji gets quickly annoyed by it and fights his parents over it. Nicky also isn’t happy that he suddenly isn’t allowed to do as much alone anymore.  
And as time passes, Beck and Jade also realize that it’s stupid. They will never be able to prevent all accidents and they have to let their children grow up and do things by themselves. It’s hard at first, especially letting Nicky go into the kitchen by himself again, without either of them or at least Benji present (who also does watch closer over how his brothers move through the house – as annoyed as he is by his parents doing the same to him). But they learn to live with it. With their guilt about the accident but also with the risk life holds for them and their children.


	13. Judging opinions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning: Again there's mention of abortion but nobody doing it. Just so you know.

Tori’s in love and it feels good.  
She’s 24 years old and she’s doing decently with her music career, still thriving from that opening number she got to do for the Platinum Music Awards in high school.  
She’s travelling a lot but is now back in LA – with her boyfriend Phil. He’s a cameraman and was there when she filmed her latest music video. Somehow they got into talking and then dating and... well...  
She already introduced him toRobbie whom she met two weeks back when she and Phil visited San Francisco together, where Robbie went to college and now still lives.  
Now, she, Cat, Robbie, Andre and Ruby are at Beck and Jade’s place. All of them actually together, which doesn’t happen often enough in Tori’s opinion.  
Nicky’s four months old and is so cute. Tori didn’t meet Benji until he was already a year old. She imagines that he must’ve looked something like Nicky though. The hair is definitely similiar, Nicky has already grown some that does look as much like Beck’s as Benji’s does. His eyes have turned from their baby blue into brown though, unlike Benji’s which look more like Jade’s.  
Tori and Phil are the last to arrive, but only by a minute or so. Cat and Robbie also still are settling in. Tori introduces Phil to everyone before she hugs all of them – except Benji who keeps his distance.  
Well, sometimes he does, like his mother. But this time... he looks sick. And as if he’s keeping the distance because of that, to not infect anyone and because he feels too yucky in general to hug anybody.  
“Are you okay, Benji?” Tori checks with the eight year old.  
He shrugs passively. “Not so good.”  
“He has a cold,” Beck knows to report, looking at his older son with utmost sympathy.  
Benji scrunches up his nose. “I feel stuffy.”  
“Aw, I’m sorry,” Tori says and also notices Cat pouting, like she always does when Benji or Nicky aren’t feeling well in any way, as if that’s personally hurting her. But the rest of their friends also feel sorry for him.  
Benji shrugs again, then: “Now that I said hi to everyone, I think I’m going back to bed.”  
“Don’t forget your tea,” Jade says which makes Benji grab the cup on the table, but he doesn’t say another word as he walks to the door.  
“Call us if you need anything,” Beck still adds and Benji nods before he’s gone.  
“He really doesn’t feel well, does he?” Cat asks sadly, looking after him.  
Beck answers: “He doesn’t. But it’s already getting better. He was much worse yesterday. Anyway... How are you guys?”

They promised Beck and Jade to not stay for too long, as Benji’s sick and Nicky’s also still so young.  
The afternoon turned to evening. They ordered pizza and ate that, with Beck taking some to Benji into his room. Now, Benji has come back into the living room though, sitting down on his mother’s lap and cuddling up to her, ignoring everyone else. It’s obvious that he needs comfort and calm. Tori still always loves to see him finding that so easily in Jade. He always did and Tori has only known Jade since she has been a mother, but she hasn’t known at first and would’ve never guessed for her to be so loving with a potential child. She’s still such a rough person with dark humor, but when she’s with Benji or Nicky now too... Tori enjoys to see it every time, even under circumstances like these with feeling sorry for poor Benji.  
The group takes the hint. When Benji starts cuddling up to Jade like this, closing his eyes, ignoring everyone else, they share looks and decide to slowly start leaving. There are still quite a few jokes and stories exchanged, but they empty their drinks and then get up and leave.  
Jade stays where she is while Beck takes them to the door, Nicky in his arms. They all say bye to Benji, who keeps close to Jade. He only shortly opens his eyes and waves to them.  
Tori gets into the car with Phil and they drive off.  
“And? How’d you like them?” Tori asks curiously. She’s much more curious to know what her friends think of him but she’ll nag them later. Now it’s time for Phil’s opinion.  
Phil smiles at her. “They are a bit crazy but in a good way. I like them.”  
That’s good enough for Tori for now. Oh, she will pry more, will ask for specific opinions. But for now, she has to say: “Poor little Benji though.”  
She always hates seeing him sick.  
“Yeah, a cold like that,” Phil agrees.  
“But he’s the cutest, isn’t he?” Tori gushes. “He and Nicky both.” Because they are. She weirdly loves both of them so much.  
Phil nods. “They are.” He glances at her, then: “Has Benji always lived with your friends, Beck and Jade?”  
“Yeah, why?”  
Phil shrugs. “Just... I don’t know. They were really young when they had him, weren’t they?”  
Tori understands the questions. They were indeed pretty young. That could make any person stumble at first. That’s why she easily explains: “Yeah, 16. I met them when Benji was about a year old.”  
For a moment it’s silent after that, then Phil thoughtfully states: “I never understand why kids are left with teenage parents.”  
Tori feels her heart miss a beat which is stupid. Surely, he didn’t mean it the way she understood.  
“What do you mean?” she carefully asks. She almost wishes he would stop the car so that he could look her in the eye while they’re talking.  
Phil answers, as if his opinion couldn’t hurt anyone: “I just think that children should be raised by adults and not by older children.”  
Which might be a generally reasonable opinion, but... he saw Benji with Beck and Jade just now. Not for long as Benji mostly was in his room but still... he must’ve seen all the love and trust there. How can he then start talking this way? With that in mind?  
“So what?” Tori asks. “They should’ve taken Benji away from Beck and Jade?”  
Her voice almost breaks but Phil doesn’t notice. Doesn’t he realize that Beck and Jade are two of Tori’s best friends and that they all love Benji to the moon and back?  
He can’t understand that his words can trigger anything, can he? But Tori remembers how Beck talked to her back when she finally met all of them, about how his parents wanted to take custody for Benji. She remembers how Andre told her how bad everyone talked about Jade especially. And now she, Tori, apparently brought a man into her friends’ home who doesn’t accept and respect them and their choice. Really?  
Phil says: “There are enough people who’d love to adopt.”  
Tori has to swallow. So someone should’ve taken Benji away from Beck and Jade and adopt him?  
And maybe, that sometimes is the better solution. Sometimes there might not be another way. Probably, noone at the age of 16 can actually raise a child by themselves. But that just means that everyone should help them if they are willing to raise the child, doesn’t it?  
And maybe, Phil doesn’t understand and thinks, Beck and Jade went through it alone and had to raise Benji under the worst circumstances which, yes, might then not have been the best for Benji.  
“They had their parents’ help, you know.”  
Phil glances at her again but not unsure or anything, with slightly raised eyebrows instead. Then he confesses: “I don’t know if I could do that if I had a daughter that would get pregnant. I think I would make her abort. Or if it’s too late for that, obviously give it up for adoption.”  
And she wouldn’t have a say in it?  
Tori shivers. And maybe, Phil sees that out of the corner of his eye and that’s what makes him notice that he said something wrong.  
At least, he makes sure to say once more: “I just don’t think teenage parents are what a child needs or should be around.”  
Tori barely knows what to say. He did saw Benji with his parents just now, didn’t he? They talked about him. Does he really think, Benji shouldn’t have been there because he should’ve been taken away all those years back? Does he seriously think, any of them would’ve been happier that way?  
Quietly, Tori says: “Benji’s happy.”  
“He’s still a child. Who knows how it’ll be when he’s grown up. Or maybe he’s even gonna be a teenage father himself.”

Tori breaks up with him the next day. There is no fighting. Phil is confused at the sudden break-up, but she doesn’t really explain. His opinions made her sick and she can’t even put into words why. And it’s not like this is something he could change or alike. Those are his opinions and he won’t change them just like that, only because she talks to him about it – not when he thought about stating them right after meeting Benji and seeing him with his parents.  
She texts her friends only a few days later and Beck calls later that day to check in on her, to see if she’s okay.  
“You seemed so happy with him,” Beck says, after telling her that he thought he was a good guy and she couldn’t explain to him why he wasn’t.  
“Yeah, but somehow...” Tori says, hesitating, then: “We fought the next day and I realized that he’s not the one.”  
He won’t hurt Beck or Jade by telling them about this. And she knows it would hurt them. They had to fight so hard against all the negativity back in time. They can’t hear any more of it.  
“I’m sorry,” Beck genuinely says.  
And though Tori is heartbroken because she loved him, she knows it’s true, because his statements made her definitely fall out of love: “It’s okay. I’ll be fine.”

 

She checks in with her next boyfriend quite early how he sees that topic and he doesn’t care too much about it. There are other reasons why they break up after one year.  
And then comes Jonas, when she’s 27 years old. She doesn’t want to make a big deal out of it too early in their relationship. She doesn’t want to make the Wests a topic at all. But she knows she has to check in again when they get together, have to make sure he isn’t like Phil.  
On another date, they are suddenly on some politic topics. They talk about decisions and free will and then also about abortion.  
Jonas likes to hear Tori’s thoughts but he notices how curious she is about his opinions too. They match surprisingly well which he’s happy about. He’s somewhat political and if the world views would differ too much...  
At some point, still over dinner, Tori asks: “What do you think about a teenage girl getting pregnant? Should she make her own decision?”  
“Of course,” Jonas says. “As freely as possible.” He isn’t kidding himself. He knows that a teenage girl getting pregnant can barely decide freely. Maybe no person actually can. There are always circumstances that makes you decide a certain way. And a teenage girl getting pregnant will have a lot of people pressuring her in one way or another, has a future to think about and everything.  
Tori tilts her head. “What if she decided to raise the child herself?”  
“Then I’d hope she’d have a lot of support, especially from the father of the child and her own parents, to get through it,” he says earnestly.  
Tori smiles in that way he loves so much.  
Though that he gets a smile like that with his opinion on teenage pregnancy... Oh.  
“Do you want to tell me something?” he asks.  
The way she smiles now hints how important this topic is for her and that he answered just like she wanted him to. Did she get pregnant as a teen and decided to keep the child?  
Tori understands the questions and laughs. “I don’t have a eleven year old at home, don’t worry.”  
He has to smile too. “I wouldn’t mind. You can tell me, you know.”  
He would understand if she would feel hesitant about something alike. Being a young parent and then dating around... well, having a child at all and then meeting new people and going on dates and having to check how the other person would feel about that.  
Tori smiles at him sweetly. “Thank you. But I really don’t.”  
“Okay,” he says and kisses her. He knows if she says so, she doesn’t have a child. He trusts her. Though he still has the feeling there’s something going on. Maybe, it otherwise was an issue in her family.

 

A month later, at the beginning of July, he finally gets to meet her high school friends. They’ve been out with a few other friends of hers but he already gathered that her high school friends mean especially much to her. She often texts with one of them when they spend the day together.  
She explains that they will meet at Beck’s and Jade’s house. They also often try to meet somewhere out, also to give those two friends of hers the chance to get out but with the kids they’re having and everyone also wanting to spend time with the kids, they often end up meeting at their place.  
Jonas is glad that there will be children present. He finds that usually meeting new people is much less awkward with kids around. He still sometimes finds it difficult to get to know new people. Tori is so open and outgoing – he isn’t, really. They met at a party of one of his closest friends, which was the only reason he went. She knew someone who knew someone who was also friends with his friend. And she was the one starting to talk to him and he kind of fell for her way too quickly.  
He’s glad he gets to meet her friends but he’s still shy about it. As much as Tori encourages him and tells him that her other friends also loved him after all.  
It doesn’t help much. He’s still incredibly nervous when Tori rings the door bell to the big house, in which her friends must live.  
A man answers the door, whom Tori directly greets: “Hi, Beck!”  
They hug, before he turns to Jonas: “Hey! You must be Jonas. I’m Beck.”  
“Yeah, hi,” Jonas awkwardly says though Beck’s smile already is calming him somewhat down. Beck already seems like a really chill and calm person. Well, if all of Tori’s friends are like that...  
Beck lets them inside a nice hallway and Jonas directly notices the little boy peeking out of one of the doors.  
“Hi, Tori!” he says with a toothy grin. He must be around three years old and Jonas is sure that this must be Beck’s child. He looks enough like him.  
“Hi, Nicky,” Tori happily says as she walks up to him. She ruffles his hair. “How are you doing?”  
Jonas follows the pair inside the living room with Beck following him, as the boy answers: “Great. I’ve drawn pictures for all of you!”  
“That’s so sweet,” Tori says with the brightest smile and then she finally greets into the room.  
The room is already kind of crowded. There are four more adults there and two children who must be twins – and also look enough like Nicky and Beck that they must be siblings of the first and sons of the latter.  
A redheaded woman has one of them in her arms and now jumps up and hurries to them, totally excited, beaming like nothing else. She only quickly hugs Tori, then she turns to Jonas: “Hi, I’m Cat! This is little Elijah.” She rubs over the boy’s belly in her arms. He cannot even be one and a half years old. She then also points to Elijah’s twin who’s standing in the middle of the room and looks at Jonas hesitantly: “That’s Joshua.” Finally, she ruffles Nicky’s hair and introduces him to Jonas as well: “And this is Nicholas.”  
“Jonas,” he introduces himself unnecessarily. They must know his name. He certainly knows all of their names, because Tori talks about them occasionally. And yeah, okay, this is Cat. He has heard enough about her that she wouldn’t have needed to say her name.  
Everyone else has gotten up and hugs Tori now too, before each turns to Jonas.  
“I’m Robbie,” a man introduces himself and a woman that Jonas knows to be his girlfriend by Tori’s stories says she’s named Beatrice.  
“Jade,” the last woman finally says and Jonas knows she’s the mother of the children present. Not only because Tori mentioned that Beck and Jade are married for years and have children together but also because all three children also look enough like her in a way. Though they all got the hair and the eye color of their father, there’s still so much resemblance to their mother in their faces.  
While they sit down, Elijah is excited to get into Tori’s arms while Joshua seeks comfort in his mother’s. As far as Jonas can gather, Joshua is unsure about the new person in their midst, about him, Jonas. Well, he can’t be angry about that. He’s unsure about all of this after all too, though they seem all amazingly nice.  
Beck takes care of drinks for the new arrivals, while Nicky sits back down on a small table, a kids’ table, a bit away from the couch, where he gets back to drawing.  
As soon as Beck wants to sit down, when Tori and her friends are still talking about how the car ride to the house was, the door bell rings.  
Nicky jumps up and once more waits in the doorway to the hallway while Beck goes to open the door.  
They hear some more greetings from the door, then a couple walks in, followed by Beck now with a little girl in his arms. She can’t even be two years old.  
There are more hugs exchanged and Jonas gets introduced to Ruby, Andre and Sharon.  
Sharon quickly decides that she wants to be with Jade first which works out well enough because Joshua immediately seems to relax at seeing more friendly faces, after Jonas’ arrival, and promptly wants to go to Andre.  
Andre leaves with Beck and Josh after all of the long and happy greetings are exchanged for the kitchen that’s through another doorway next to the living room. To get the newcomers drinks as well and then also grab some more snacks though the table already has a lot on it.  
Cat, Ruby, Beatrice and Tori chat away happily while Nicky walks up to Sharon in his mother’s arms and quickly convinces her to come with him to the kids’ table on which are not only papers and crayons to draw but also a lot of other toys. Mildly interested, Eli joins them there too.  
Robbie and Jade exchanged a few words as well, with Jonas just sitting there, but then Jade puts her attention on him: “So what do you do for a living?”  
Well, okay, a strange first question. He wonders if Tori hasn’t told them anything about him after all. He knows what her friends are doing, as jobs also can easily come up.  
“I’m working as a banker,” he answers.  
Jade slowly drawls: “That must be boring.”  
Jonas blinks. It happened to him before that people said that it wouldn’t be for them, that they personally would be bored by it. But nobody ever outright said that it generally was boring.  
It isn’t for him. He likes working those numbers. And as shy as he is in his personal life, he feels pretty self-assured when talking about business and meeting people in a professional setting. He enjoys all parts of his job very much, even if he himself never expected that.  
“I actually like it,” he says hesitantly.  
Jade cocks an eyebrow, looking him up and down, sizing him up. He’s getting really uncomfortable now. It makes him extremely nervous, her looking at him like this.  
He glances to Tori, who’s still in a talk with Beatrice and Ruby. But Cat is listening now and promptly starts giggling. That also catches the attention of the other women.  
Robbie has been listening and watching too and seems amused. Which doesn’t help Jonas at all.  
Then, there’s suddenly Beck’s voice: “Is Jade trying to make you squirm?”  
He and Andre are coming back into the living room, Andre still having Joshua in his arms, both men amused and their hands otherwise full with more drinks and snacks.  
Both are sitting down again and Andre’s letting go of Joshua, while Jonas just makes an unsure “Uhm.”  
“I haven’t even started yet,” Jade claims with a smirk and her eyes glint in a way that definitely makes Jonas squirm a bit.  
“Mommy?” little Joshua draws Jade’s attention away from Jonas, having walked from Andre to her, taking hold of her leg.  
Way sweeter than she talked to him, she turns to her son: “What is it, Joshy?”  
Jonas doesn’t hear what the boy wants as Tori takes the opportunity to tell him: “She likes to make people uncomfortable. Don’t take it personally.”  
That would’ve been nice to know before. Though Jonas guesses that he would’ve been even more afraid of this meeting then.  
Beatrice knows to report: “She pretty much just stopped doing that to me.” Jonas wonders how long Beatrice has been part of the group, not knowing that she’s already a couple with Robbie for one and a half years now and not knowing that Jade also likes to make her friends uncomfortable, but that there’s a special treatment she gives her friends’ partners at first.  
“Should I start again?” Jade asks in an almost sweet voice, smiling creepily at Beatrice, obviously not having been hold up too much by Joshua’s needs. The boy now sits on her lap and seems fine.  
Beatrice laughs. “No, thank you.”  
“I’m fine with it,” Ruby says and Jade easily responds: “Because Andre has good taste in a partner.”  
Jonas finds that reasonably mean. Because that implies that at least Robbie doesn’t have and it therefore insults Robbie and Beatrice in one go. Nobody looks too offended though Beck says in a gentle and yet scolding tone (a mix that’s weirdly possible for him): “Jade.”  
Jade rolls her eyes and turns to her son in her lap: “We also like Trixi, though, huh?”  
She nods and Joshua seriously imitates her.  
Jade continues: “And if Tori’s new boy toy is a good sport, we might also like him some day, huh?”  
She makes Joshua nod again and Jonas understands. Jade is indeed mean but... only to a degree that everyone in the room accepts. And she still loves all of them, as she shows in this way.  
Jonas can’t help but say, dryly: “Well, that you accept me as her new ‘boy toy’ already means so much to me.”  
That earns him a few laughs and also a smirk by Jade.

The next hour is a bit chaotic with four small children around and all of them adults, but the group of friends is also amazingly funny and loveable. Jonas especially gets along with Beck, Andre and Robbie exceptionally well. Robbie is a bit awkward at times, but honestly: so is Jonas. And all three of them are so easy to talk to. Well, the whole group is. They are so much like Tori in that way.  
And then, after that somewhat messy hour, when Jonas already has the feeling that he knows all of them so well – and even Joshua having gotten used to him –, he’s sure to hear the front door.  
He isn’t the only one, at least there’s Jade calling out after a moment: “Benji?”  
The person having come in must’ve been directly on his way to the stairs, now he walks into the living room, looking a bit annoyed: “Yeah?”  
It’s an eleven year old that... very much looks like Beck but also Jade and... he also must be their son, as he also looks so much like Nicky, Eli and Josh.  
And Jonas immediately is thrown back a month. He hears Tori asking him about teenage pregnancy again. He gets it. It never was her or even her sister (whom Jonas also already met and who’s really weird but whom Tori also loves so much). It was about her friends, about Beck and Jade. Who must have had Benji with... like... 16. Jonas knows it. He doesn’t need to check again, to look at Benji any longer. He is their son and he is about eleven years old, which is also why Tori was so weirdly specific with the age of the child she didn’t have at home. And Beck and Jade decided to have him and are raising him.  
Was Tori actually worried that he could have anything against it? Why should he? If the family is happy... why should anyone critize their choices?  
“How did hockey practice go?” Jade checks.  
Benji doesn’t even look at anyone but his mother, as he answers: “Fine.” It doesn’t sound as if it went fine.  
But nobody says anything about it, instead Jade asks: “Wanna eat something?”  
“No,” Benji only says and that’s that. He leaves again and they hear him walk up the stairs.  
“Aw, what’s with him?” Cat asks, sounding sad about the mood Benji was in.  
“Bad day probably,” Beck says and then turns to Jade, quietly: “Should I talk to him?”  
Jade keeps her eyes trained on the door her son left through for another moment, before she decides: “Nah. He’ll come back down when he’s hungry.”

Benji does come back about another hour later.  
“Hi,” he says this time around, as he walks in, and that makes everyone fall silent and smile at him. He gives Sharon an extra greeting, waving to her with a kind smile, which makes the little girl beam. Then he turns to Jonas: “I’m Benjamin.”  
“Jonas,” he answers.  
“Wanna eat something now?” Jade asks him.  
“Yeah. Are there leftovers from lunch?” Benji checks.  
Jade nods and then orders Beck, who has been sitting next to her with his arm around her for the last few minutes: “Go help him.”  
Beck seems ready to do exactly that, draws away, but Benji already says: “Don’t need help.”  
He leaves for the kitchen and Beck settles back into Jade. She promptly grabs his hand that’s drapped over her shoulder with one of hers, interlacing their fingers.  
The group keeps talking and after a while Benji comes back with some food, eating.  
“How is it going, Benj?” Andre asks when the boy is settled on the couch between him and Robbie. He even does a special handshake with him which Benji repeats with Robbie too.  
“It’s good,” Benji answers, now way more open to a conversation than earlier. “How is Sharon doing?”  
“Great,” Andre answers beaming. “Thank you for asking.”  
Nicky has also taken notice of his older brother and has left the kids’ table once more. All the kids constantly joined the adults and also involved them in their games. Nicky also handed each one of the group a self drawn picture, even Jonas, though he also made sure to explain that he didn’t know what he liked yet, so he didn’t know what to draw for him and he just decided for his family, so he’d get to know all of them quicker. It was the sweetest thing ever.  
Now, he’s with his brother. “Why have you been in a bad mood?” Of course he also noticed.  
“Don’t wanna talk about it,” Benji only answers.  
Nicky seems to consider that, then: “Would you feel better if I drew you a picture?”  
“Sure.”

Benji is a nice kid, good with his brothers and Sharon and as easy to talk to as his father.  
At one point Beck goes into the kitchen to get a few things again (there were jokes made that make Jonas believe that he and Jade bet on something and as he lost the bet he’s taking care of drinks and snacks mostly). Benji smoothly follows him into the kitchen and they are gone for a while.  
When they come back, Jonas stops as he sees how genuine Jade smiles at Beck as he sits back down next to her. They share a kiss, that’s sweet and soft and... they have an eleven year old son together. Have they been together all this time? Did their relationship already stand the test of such a long time?  
Jonas can’t help but wish that’ll be him and Tori in a few years’ time.  
He puts his arm around his beautiful girlfriend. Tori keeps talking animatedly to Andre but as she feels his arm, she looks over to him with a sweet and loving smile.

 

When they are in the car about two hours later, on the way to Tori’s home where they want to spend the night, Tori asks, all giddy: “What do you think?”  
That question must’ve been on her mind since they arrived. She definitely wants to know his opinion. It was like that with her other friends too.  
“They’re wonderful people,” Jonas says honestly.  
He felt great, though yes, Jade did make him feel uncomfortable on purpose in between. He took it quite well after he understood what was going on. And it was just easy being with everyone and he found himself laughing again and again. He understands why Tori’s so close to these people, why they all put in effort to keep in touch.  
Tori now also happily answers: “They are, aren’t they?”  
He draws her hand to his lips and kisses her knuckles. He loves her so much. And Tori smiles at him in a way that lets him know that she loves him just as much.


	14. Getting back

It’s the beginning of May.  
Andre’s on vacation with his little family but the rest of the friends decided to meet up for an early dinner as all of them are in town.  
Benji is twelve and at the mall with a few friends. Nicky is four and on a playdate. But Beck and Jade bring Eli and Josh. The boys are two years old by now and the group loves them as much as they love Benji and Nicky, so obviously nobody opposes to them coming to dinner with them. They’re happy about it instead.  
Cat especially who also would’ve liked Benji and Nicky to come but she gets that they didn’t want to change their plans anymore – and prefer their own friends over dinner with their parents’ friends.  
But she’s using the opportunity to introduce her new boyfriend, Trent, to the group.  
Beatrice and Jonas are there as well, already very well accepted into the group.  
Jade’ll see if she’ll make it as easy for Trent to get into the group. She sees right away that he’s somewhat weird. But she expects nothing less from Cat’s boyfriend.  
He is much more self secure than Jonas was in the beginning. Jonas warmed up to the group by now and is much more at ease and able to talk to all of them freely, is only shy meeting new people. Trent isn’t shy at all.  
He’s working as a car mechanic but tries himself as a stand-up comedian in clubs as many nights as he can. That’s also how Cat met him, She was at the club with the dancers of the music video she’s doing at the moment (she’s finally becoming successful in the music business too; her voice is getting recognized) and heard his latest routine there and laughed herself silly as she does. He says he already heard her laugh from the stage and enjoyed it so much that he searched for her afterwards.  
He’s an approachable guy and Jade takes notice of the way he looks at Cat, especially when she laughs.  
Josh also isn’t too hesitant with him. He always keeps back a little when meeting new people, unlike his twin brother who doesn’t care much about who else is there, much like Nicky never cared. Benji also only cried or was hesitant in any way when Jade didn’t like a person.  
Josh needs time to warm up to a person, but doesn’t need that much time with Trent. Instead he’s quick to leave Jade’s lap where he’s sitting for a few minutes after noticing Trent, and joins his brother in letting himself be amused by the adults. Trent talks to him quite quickly and he’s open to answer even him (as well as a two year old can answer at all).  
Beck meanwhile also talks to Trent for a while about cars, after he told the whole group the story about the new song Nicky invented. The boy sometimes makes up melodies (or rather: copies them from somewhere) and thinks of random lyrics. His new song is called ‘The witch and her duck’ and the chorus goes like: “There’s a witch with her duck and they go Quack Quack Quack.” He changes the rest of the song constantly, combines melodies while telling easy stories about the witch and her duck, like them eating breakfast together, before he starts with the chorus again which is always the same.  
Jade hates it. She hates ducks and she doesn’t like them more, just because her son makes up a song about them (it doesn’t help that the chorus gets stuck in her head all the time and she starts singing it under her breath every now and then).  
Nicky has weirdly always loved witches. Recently he has also been into ducks.  
Jade now points out to Beck, after the whole group talked about the song for a while and about Nicky’s love for ducks (with Cat promising the whole group to give him some toy ducks when she next visits and Jade threatening to destroy them all before Nicky can see them): “He just likes ducks because he knows I hate them.”  
He sometimes seems to do things on purpose which she hates. At least it feels that way. Beck and she already talked about it and he replies with a grin: “Yeah, he’s totally out to get you with everything he enjoys.”  
Jade solemnly nods. “It’s just like Benji loved yellow when he was that age.”  
“He still kinda does, doesn’t he?” Tori asks.  
“Ugh, don’t remind me,” Jade says.  
That makes the friends laugh.

Trent effortlessly takes a few of Jade’s comments throughout the night and after dinner, they all leave the restaurant and go into the close-by park together to keep talking, to keep together. It’s still early enough. Eli and Josh still want to play with everyone and Benji and Nicky both don’t need to be picked up yet. Benji will go to a friend after the mall and will get picked up there. He said he would eat at the mall with his friends though while Nicky will eat dinner at his friend’s place.  
In the park, Cat is quick to playfully chase Eli and Josh with Robbie and Tori helping her after a while. Beck meanwhile talks to Jonas and Beatrice, keeping an eye out for his sons though.  
As does Jade, also when Trent then adresses her: “Cat told me you write?”  
She questioned him a bit earlier in the restaurant but they haven’t talked about her yet.  
Well, and... is she writing? She likes to write. She loves it. But... With the kids... “I have for a while.”  
“You just sent a script somewhere, right?” he asks.  
Okay, so Cat has also told him about that. She indeed sent a script to Will, with whom she also did the horror short series back when she was still pregnant with the twins.  
“Yeah,” she therefore answers. But it’s just an idea for a small production movie. And it’s the only thing she worked on since the twins were born.  
She just didn’t get around to more. She took care of the kids mostly. Beck auditions all the time and just now did a season of a show which didn’t get picked up. But he did film a few months. Of course, she meanwhile had to watch the kids.  
Trent says: “That’s pretty cool! Cat told me you write horror mostly. I’m way too scared watching horror but Cat told me she also is and still enjoys your work, so I’m probably looking into it.”  
Jade barely hears him anymore. She’s too much in thought about how the last two years went. What has she done?  
Nothing. Nothing at all. She has written that one script and has otherwise not even auditioned for anything or alike. Beck just always had some sort of job that earned them enough money and someone needed to watch the kids. How did she end up in that role though? How did this happen? She never wanted this. She was fucking scared of it, ever since she got pregnant with Benji with only 15 years of age.  
Of course she wants to take care of her children. Of course it makes sense for her to take care of them while Beck works. But... She had dreams once. She wanted to have a career. Where did that go?  
And she knows she’s still only 28 years old. She has so much time, but... how can she get out of this now? Yes, Eli and Josh will go to preschool in a year’s time but someone still needs to clean the house and cook and make sure the children get everywhere where they are supposed to go. They can of course get help, could pay someone to clean their house. Beck’s parents had a cleaning lady for a long time.  
Maybe, they should have one too. Jade hates the house work anyway and Beck does too. But Jade still likes the thought of one of them being there when the children get home or picking them up from school themselves. If they both act, they’d have odd hours at times and it could happen all the time that neither of them is there – and they would need more help, either payed or by their family.  
She could have Beck give her time whenever he’s home for her to write on scripts and alike. But god, is she slow in writing. She needs inspiration to hit her, then she loves to write. But she already learned before the twins that she doesn’t like the dead lines involved while creating a series. It’s not easy for her to work that way. She doesn’t like it.  
And she always wanted to be an actress, no? How much she misses acting!

 

It all crashes in on her and she feels powerless and scared looking into her future, like she did back when she was pregnant with Benji.  
And like always when she feels like this, she’s ready to explode. There are just way too many emotions inside of her and especially that powerless and scared feeling... It makes her feel unbelievingly angry.  
They are driving home and are barely through the door, Eli and Josh off to their rooms to pick out toys they want to take with them into the bathtub as Jade just told them they should bathe before getting ready for bed.  
As soon as they are gone, before Beck can even think about sitting down in the living room or asking Jade if he should take care of the bath, Jade tells him, in an already harsh voice that she would never use on her kids: “Pick up the boys.”  
“Oh,” he says. “I thought you would.”  
It’s mild surprise in his voice but... seriously? She just told the twins to bathe. So he could watch them while she would get their other two boys? Or should she bathe the twins first and then pick up the others while Beck would do nothing?  
“Yeah, because I’m supposed to do everything!”  
Beck looks at her with a furrowed brow which makes her angrier.  
He says slowly, as if she was an idiot: “Because you said earlier that you’d pick them up.”  
She did. But that was hours ago when she dropped both boys off. She said she could drive both times, drop them off and pick them up again. But who cares? Honestly.  
“Piss off and just do as you’re told!”  
Beck doesn’t. He looks at her in that stupid way and finally asks: “What’s wrong with you?”  
How he annoys Jade sometimes! Can’t he just do as he’s told? Does he need to discuss this?  
She retaliates: “What’s wrong with you? Just do as you’re told!”  
Now, Beck finally gets irritated too, his confusion slowly turning into anger: “You realize I’m not one of your children, yes?”  
“Why are you behaving like you’re a baby then?” she responds.  
“And that’s an adult argument!”  
She wants to curse, to maybe call him a bad name, but that’s the moment, Josh comes back down the stairs to probably asks why nobody is coming for him and his brother.  
And they never have too big of a problem to fight in front of their kids, but as they themselves grow older, they try to dial it back. They allow themselves to be angry at each other around the kids, but they try to not actively fight when they are around anymore. At least not with curses and name calling. They did all that around Benji and he seems fine, but they still think it’s probably not the best for a child to grow up around that.  
So she takes a deep breath and asks in a dangerously sweet voice: “Will you go and pick up your kids?”  
She says on purpose that they are his kids, not hers too. To let him know that he’s responsible for them too.  
He might glare at her, but finally says: “Fine.”

Jade has watched Eli and Josh take a bath and now both of them are sitting on stools in the kitchen, drinking hot cocoa, as they do many nights.  
They only need to brush their teeth and then can go to bed. It’s also almost bed time. Nicky usually goes to bed around the same time. As soon as he’ll arrive, he will have to get ready for bed too and then all three little boys can hear a story by either Beck or Jade, before they go into each their beds (or sometimes sleep in the same, especially Eli and Josh, but every now and then Nicky also lets the both of them into his bed).  
Benji usually goes up to his room at the same time but only gets ready for bed way later. Somemtimes, he comes downstairs at one point and asks one of his parents to tuck him in.  
Wenn Beck arrives home with Benji and Nicky and they’re coming into the kitchen and there are greetings, Beck also wants to kiss Jade in form of greeting.  
She pushes him away though. Yeah, as if she would let that happen.  
She starts making cocoa for Benji and Nicky though, while they sit down and Nicky critically asks: “Are you fighting?“ That’s the only reason why his mother wouldn’t kiss his father, he knows.  
“Yes,” Jade shortly answers. “Don’t worry about it.”  
Nicky sighs. Benji meanwhile says, bored: “If it’s about something stupid, don’t drag it out.”  
Beck somehow achieves to look at Jade in a sort of smug way and meaningful at the same time. As if he wants to say that this has to be about something stupid though he has no idea. And as if he told Jade already that it was stupid, which he didn’t – and which she also wouldn’t appreciate.  
Jade wants to viciously attack Beck, but... there’s still time later when all the boys are in bed. So, she just ignores all that was said and instead turns to Nicky: “How was your playdate?”

 

Beck brushes the twins’ teeth with them while Jade takes care that Nicky gets ready for bed.  
Benji does leave for his room and Jade lets Beck tell Nicky, Eli and Josh a story or sing them a song while she already sits down in the living room, deep in thought again. About her future and her life and the family she loves but that might be the reason why she can never be more than she is right now. Not in the way she wants to be.  
She closes her eyes. She has a headache by now. She can’t think straight.  
And then, there’s Beck’s voice though it feels like only a minute can have passed since Jade sat down and he must’ve needed more time to tuck their three younger children in: “Wanna tell me what’s going on?”  
She’s already annoyed by that question again, but... as she opens her eyes and sees him standing in front of her... She loves him. She looks at him and feels how damn much she loves him. She guesses she should tell instead of dragging it out, fighting him once more with both of them going to bed frustrated and angry.  
“I’ve lost myself,” she says, simple and steady.  
Beck doesn’t respond. He keeps looking at her and heck, yes, that makes her angry again.  
She explains, exasperated: “Beck, I had ambition! I had dreams!”  
“You still have,” Beck says as he’s finally sitting down next to her.  
“And what am I doing about it?” she asks aggressively. “I don’t have a career or anything!”  
Beck blinks. And then, he gets it, surpsingly quick. “I’m sorry. I can make sure you have more time alone to write again.”  
He gets that she doesn’t have time for anything but the kids. And she knows, now that he realized it, he will look out for it more, will make sure to give her time.  
But she gets sick by the thought of sitting somewhere and writing, as soon as Beck gets home to take care of the children. Writing scripts that mostly don’t get sold and that otherwise need to be worked over under certain deadlines, as if her muse complies to deadlines.  
“I don’t want to write. I want to act, Beck!” And how can they do that? How can they both act at odd hours with four children at home?  
Beck furrows his brow again. “I thought you liked writing?”  
“I did.” She honestly still does, but not for a job. She realizes that maybe she also stayed with it because it made sense and it was easy to get pregnant a third time while being at home and writing for a job. “But it was mostly practical. It’s not what I want for my life.”  
She sees Beck’s anger flaring up. “Why have you never told me?”  
He hates not knowing about her in any way. As if she hated writing and she never told him. Though that’s not how it is.  
And she doesn’t have the time and nerve to discuss this. “I’m telling you now,” she instead says.  
“Great!” Beck says sarcastically.  
Jade rolls her eyes. This isn’t about him. Though she knows deep inside that she’ll have to explain to him at some point what she didn’t like about writing but that it was convenient anyway and that she didn’t realize how much she disliked it at the time, but that she can’t bear the thought of going back to that at this point.  
For now, Beck lets it go, because he’s an amazing husband. Jade also knows that.  
He instead continues after a while: “You know you can go audition whenever. I can cut back a little. I’m going to every damn audition because we need the money.”  
Jade snorts humourlessly. “Like you don’t want to act.”  
He loves acting, she knows that. They both always loved it so much and had so much passion for it. It was one of the things that quickly connected them.  
“I do but I didn’t want every role I auditioned for,” Beck claims. “That guest spot a month ago? I wouldn’t have done it if it wasn’t for the money.”  
Jade did wonder why he took that guest spot in a series that they sometimes even make fun off because they both think of it as dumb. She didn’t ask him about it because Eli was sick at that time and about to infect the rest of the family. She had other worries. She should’ve asked.  
Maybe she also wants to say that, but Beck’s the one to speak again: “I actually thought I’d like to write. When I read your latest script, I remembered how fun it is to make up your own stories.”  
He hasn’t written at all for years now as he definitely also didn’t have the time for it. Has he actually missed that? Well, he always loved writing, just as much as Jade did, too.  
Jade also has barely written, but for her it doesn’t make a difference, because she’s still coming up with stories all the time. As does Beck actually. That’s what she says: “You make up bedtime stories for the kids all the time.”  
Beck tilts his head slightly. “I’d like it more to make up bedtime stories for you.”  
Jade smirks and Beck does too. She gets what he means. He wants to think of horror stories. He always did that and is so damn good at it. It’s one of the things that made her fall for him, honestly. Because he also has such a dark mind.  
But for now, there’s something else, her trying to encourage him, her being honest and her explaining her feelings about writing a bit, all in one: “I thought before, when I wrote on that show years ago, that you’d probably work well with having a deadline. I don’t.”  
Beck looks at her for a long moment, then he asks: “Wanna change jobs?”  
“It’s not that easy,” Jade roughly says though she wishes it was and she wishes that it would fit for both of them.  
“I know,” Beck says. “But we can try. Maybe we can talk to Will and he might also be willing to work with me.”  
Jade is sure Will would be willing. Beck’s script are so amazing; why shouldn’t Will be even happy to?  
Well, and if Beck is serious about this... This doesn’t mean it would have to stay that way, her acting and him writing with him then covering the odd hours of her acting jobs. They can change it again until they both feel comfortable. They’re only 28 years old after all.  
“I should call Peter then, to talk to him about auditions,” Jade says. Peter’s her agent who hasn’t had much to do at all lately.  
Beck agrees and that’s how they do it.  
It ends up like that. Beck still remains acting every now and then, more again as the children grow older. He’s otherwise writing though and is doing good enough with it. Jade starts to act more, though she doesn’t do as many jobs as Beck did in the end to support the family, with Beck also working and them splitting the care for the children more evenly again. Jade does end up writing kids’ books in a few years’ time though, with Benji always encouraging her to write down all the bedtime stories she has been telling him and his brothers. They are fantastical stories that also earn her a decent amount of money.  
For now, Beck and Jade kiss, sweetly, like a promise. For them to get their lives in order again, to be both happy again in their professional lives.  
Then, Jade honestly says: “I miss your scripts.”  
She hasn’t realized that before he said just now that he’d like to write bedtime stories for her. Damn, does she miss his creepy scripts. She hasn’t watched or read anything in a long time that has creeped her out as much as Beck has always been able to easily do with his writing.  
Beck smiles at her with that certain glint in his eyes that she also hasn’t seen for too long: “I have had a quite gory idea for a while but never got around to write it.”  
“Tell me about it,” Jade demands, already excited to hear all about it.  
“It could take up the whole night,” Beck says with a smirk.  
Jade smirks too as she promptly moves over and straddles Beck’s lap. She can’t wait for it.  
“If it’s good, it will,” she promises.  
She is way too attracted to Beck being dark in any way. If he’s telling her an amazingly creepy gory story... she will have to jump his bones.  
The way he grins he’s more than fine with that, would even love it. They share a kiss before he tells her all about his idea in a low voice.


	15. Families

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Here's already the next, quite long chapter. Already had a few scenes ready for this so it didn't take all that long. The same will hopefully be true for the next chapters.  
> I plan to outline the rest of the story this weekend and I should be able to tell you with the next chapter how many more there will be. It won't be that many more, probably. I don't think it will be more than 20 chapters all in all.  
> Now please, everyone, enjoy this chapter!

It’s July and Andre and Ruby invited to a garden party. Everyone of Andre’s old friends are coming with their partners, as are Ruby’s three closest friends with their families.  
The friends also meet each other occasionally, especially since Sharon was born, for her birthdays and alike. Sharon’s three years old by now, turning four in less than three months.  
Jade and Beck asked their children if they were interested to come or wanted to go visit someone else, but all four wanted to tag along, so they’re all in their family van by now, driving over to Andre’s and Ruby’s place.  
The thirteen year old Benji and the five year old Nicky are sitting in the back, while Eli and Josh with their three years of age sit in the seats in the middle.  
Beck is driving them. Neither Beck nor Jade honestly like the car that much. They both are into faster sort of cars, but not into family cars. Well... They still have quite a few years ahead driving this one, mostly. Though they also have a smaller one – which still isn’t only for both of them but has a backseat as well, so each can drive different children to different places in between.  
Anyway... Now, they’re driving to Andre’s and Ruby’s and Beck says after a moment, after Eli and Josh stopped squabbling over the box of cookies they’re bringing to the party besides a salad and a few drinks and that might end up being empty before they arrive, taking Jade’s hand in his: “I’m so happy to see everyone again.”  
“You know why they invited everyone, right?” Jade says.  
Beck glances to her with furrowed brows, before concentrating back on the road ahead. He doesn’t know what she’s getting at. He assumes that Ruby and Andre invited everyone to spend time with everyone. They invite people over as often as they manage, as they both love spending time with their friends. If all the kids are supposed to be there too, they still mostly end up meeting at Beck’s and Jade’s, though they don’t nearly enjoy it as much to have people over, but as in their close group of friends they are having four kids and otherwise only Andre is having one... Well, it makes sense.  
Jade notices Beck’s confusion, as she always does. And almost impatiently, she says: “To announce that Ruby’s pregnant.”  
Beck’s eyes widen. Can that be? “Really? Did she tell you?”  
Jade took Nicky, Eli and Josh to their favorite playground a week ago and agreed to meet Ruby with Sharon there, so the kids could play together and Ruby and Jade could catch up.  
Jade’s home a lot at the moment, hasn’t gotten many auditions anymore, doesn’t have another small spot in some show to film at the moment. That will soon change. She has filmed a pilot in one of the lead roles a while back for a show that fits with her preferences in genre. She has just gotten news that the show got picked up, that the network really enoyed the pilot, and she will start filming the season next month, which is exciting and which Jade hasn’t told anyone yet because she only got the announcement the day before yesterday and she decided she could tell all their high school friends together today.  
Jade now answers, to Beck’s question if Ruby told her she’s pregnant: “No. But I bet she is.”  
Beck doesn’t get it. Benji meanwhile does. Beck knows it’s not easy to hear from the backseat what’s been said in the front, but the kids have all been silent by now and Benji must’ve listened in from the back. At least he suddenly says: “I think Mom is right. There was something about Ruby, when we saw her on the playground.”  
Beck stayed home when Jade and Ruby met up with the kids, to write on a new script idea, and then later picked up Benji from his French class he’s attending. (Beck is utterly confused that his son is into languages. But Jade one day told him that her father actually knows how to speak a few languages too and finds it easy to pick them up. Well, okay, at least it’s a good trait that Benji inherited from that guy.)  
As Benji was interested to also see Ruby and Sharon again, at least shortly, Beck and he then dropped by the playground. Beck also talked to Ruby for a while. He didn’t see anything.  
“Right?” Jade makes, looking to the back. “That’s what I was thinking.”  
Nicky has listened to the conversation and now says from the back: “I didn’t see anything.”  
Beck almost laughs. That was what he was thinking after all. People say that Benji is much more like him, Beck, and Nicky like Jade. But that’s not true, though Benji still is quite calm like Beck is, and Nicky is more stubborn in the same way Jade is. But Benji is intuitive like Jade is. The twins sometimes seem most to be like Beck in his very own opinion.  
Benji explains to his little brother: “It wasn’t visible. Just a feeling.”  
Beck can see him shrug as he glances into the rearview mirror.  
Jade is still turned around to the back and now says, sounding threatening like she sometimes talks but all their sons always understand how to take it, are never intimidated by it. “But none of you boys ask about it or say anything.”  
Benji knows that that’s the decent thing to do, but the other three might not. They do know the word ‘pregnant’ and that it means that you’re expecting a child. One of the teachers in the boys’ preschool got pregnant only a few months ago, that’s how the topic came up and why Beck and Jade had to explain to them all about it.  
“Why?” Eli questions now. He doesn’t understand why he isn’t allowed to talk about it.  
Beck glances to Nicky again. If you tell him to not do a certain thing, he does it on purpose at times. But he also only looks curious about it, about this new rule of life their mother is teaching them.  
“What about?” Josh meanwhile asks.  
Beck gathers that he probably hasn’t listened until now. He gets lost quickly in day dreaming whenever he has a chance – which is all the time as he’s still only three years old and not much is expected of him yet.  
“Nothing,” Jade answers, but for Eli’s and Nicky’s sake she adds: “They want to tell us and it’s something extremely important to them.”  
Beck adds, meaning Eli and Josh, but adressing Nicky as well: “Like how you two each wanna tell us yourselves what happened when you’ve been on a trip with someone else or alike. This is something, Ruby and Andre want to tell themselves.”  
Eli and Josh love each other to death but whenever they’ve been with their grandparents or their uncle or one of their parents’ friends together and come back, each of them wants to tell their parents absolutely everything and doesn’t like when the other one gets to tell their best adventures first.  
Beck can see the twins looking thoughtful through the rearview mirror. They are still learning to be empathetic.  
Benji now also tries to help with keeping them quiet about this: “I bet Sharon already knew a week ago, but she didn’t say anything. Do it like her.”  
Well, Beck knows that that might be the right thing to say. Eli and Josh both adore Sharon. If she’s doing a certain thing...  
Eli realizes though: “She said a whole lot.”  
But she didn’t talk about the pregnancy. If she would’ve told the boys that, Beck knows he and Jade would long know.  
“She did,” Nicky agrees.  
Sharon totally can be a chatterbox which sometimes annoys Nicky. He’s also annoyed when his little brothers just keep on talking.  
“Right,” Benji says. “But only talk about the same things she does until Andre and Ruby make their big announcement, okay?”  
The boys agree to that.

 

There are big ‘hello’s when they walk into the garden. Josh still doesn’t feel all that comfortable in big groups, especially if there are people in it that he doesn’t know really well – like Ruby’s friends. But Sharon grabs him by his hand before Josh can decide to hold onto one of his parents’ legs and pulls him with her to her toys to play. Eli promptly follows, as does Nicky but to get to another kid already there, who is the child of one of Ruby’s friends and who gets along great with Nicky.  
Beck and Jade meanwhile sit down with the other adults, as does Benji. Beck and Jade know that parties like this can be incredibly boring or even exhausting for Benji. There’s just noone his age around. To one of the get-togethers a few months ago, one of Ruby’s friends brought her little sister, who’s two years older than Benji. They talked the whole party through and still sometimes chat.  
But otherwise... Benji’s thirteen while the other children are six years old or younger. He sometimes goes play with them but is more of a babysitter at those times. Otherwise he sits with the adults and he loves all of his parents’ friends and they love him, but... he still only is thirteen and it’s not as much fun as chilling with other teenagers, obviously.  
But that’s why they’re always fine with him not coming along. They always give him that out. He also knows that they can ask around with his grandparents if someone can pick him up and watch him if he doesn’t feel like it anymore. The same goes for the younger boys too though. Depending on how long Beck and Jade want to stay, how long the friends will talk, they might call their parents to pick the boys up. They already checked and know that it’s okay for their parents and that they have time.  
Benji now directly starts to talk to Jonas while Jade gets occupied by Cat and Beck starts talking to two of Ruby’s friends. (Friends, Jade doesn’t particularly like and which might make her glance to Beck every now and then, as if checking that he’s not being too much of his flirty self.)

When everyone’s there and while everyone prepares to eat, Beck suddenly hears Tori: “No! Seriously?”  
She sounds all excited and he turns to find her looking at Ruby and Sharon. They are coming back out of the house, Sharon looking all proud. They changed her clothes. Instead of her pink top she’s now wearing a plain white t-shirt. A plain white t-shirt that reads “Big Sister”.  
Everyone else now sees it too and the mood explodes. Everyone’s up their feet and starts hugging Andre and Ruby and Sharon as well.  
Beck looks over to see Jade and Benji smirking at each other. They then also turn to smirk at him and he grins, shaking his head slightly. Yeah, of course they were right.  
He kisses Jade gently when Andre finally arrives with them.  
He noticed their looks, at least that between Beck and Jade, and now says amused while hugging Beck: “Don’t say you have an announcement too.”  
Oh, he thinks Jade might be pregnant again as well.  
“No,” Beck says laughing and Jade also confirms, while she hugs Andre as well: “Absolutely not.”  
While Benji also congratulates and hugs Andre, they all notice the kids coming up and Nicky asking: “What’s going on?”  
He asks Sharon most of all, who stands close-by at that moment and isn’t occupied by anyone. And she must know in his opinion as she also got joyfully hugged.  
The children played further down the garden but now curiously came back.  
Sharon proudly answers: “We’re gonna have a baby.”  
Eli promptly reports: “Mommy already said so.” So those are old news for him.  
Ruby meanwhile also came up to Beck, Jade and Benji and caught that. As did Andre, still standing with them and he asks: “How did you know?”  
He glances to his wife, as if he believes he could’ve told Jade when they met. Not that he would resent her for that or anything. He would be amused more than anything as they promised they wouldn’t tell anyone but their parents before this party.  
That’s why Ruby also defends herself: “I didn’t say anything, I swear. Sharon?”  
They turn to their daughter, but Jade cuts in, not wanting the little girl to even think for one second she did anything wrong: “No. I just had a feeling.”  
Beck explains further: “Benji had it too. We talked about it on the way here.”  
“Really? And I thought Sharon and I did so good, keeping it a secret,” Ruby says with a laugh.  
Jade has to tease with a smirk: “Sharon did.”  
But even though they had an idea, Beck, Jade and also Benji are extremely happy for the little family. They get told that Ruby is four months pregnant and they’re expecting their second child in December.

 

With the whole group now being 29, more of their friends start thinking about having a family. In September, Jade is on set and checking her phone in between scenes. She finds that she has eleven unread texts in her group chat with her high school friends. Whatever happened there.  
She draws it up and the first message is a photo from Robbie of himself and Beatrice, a selfie made by him, her hand prominently placed on his shoulder, both grinning wildly. Her hand spots a ring on her ring finger that has to be an engagement ring. Underneath the picture he wrote: “She said Yes.”  
“ROBBIIIIIIIEEEEEE!” is Cat’s first reaction but all of their other friends have already responded as well, excited, including Beck. As far as Jade can tell, none of them knew that Robbie would propose.  
Jade congratulates him too, before she writes though: “And you’re telling us over text.”  
Robbie has been online and reacting through it all. He now responds: “Sorry. When will we see each other again? We can tell you for real then. ;)”  
So that’s how he’s playing it. Jade grins as she writes: “Very funny, Robbie. Skype tonight?”  
Robbie’s answer doesn’t take long: “We will go to dinner with Trixi’s parents but should be back by 10pm.”  
Jade doesn’t need to think about it. She and Beck will both be home by that time. Beck hasn’t had any plans to go out today at all, except to drive the kids around. At the time, he’s writing on a brilliant script for a movie which end he hasn’t told Jade yet which is driving her a bit crazy. She knows he’ll be able to make time for a call with their friends. And by that time, Nicky, Eli and Josh should long be in bed, so they won’t have other responsibilities except Benji, who sometimes still is awake at that time, but he never expects anything of them then.  
“We will be there,” she therefore writes and Tori and Cat still agree to also be online at that time until Jade has to get back on set. When she has time to check her phone once more, Andre has promised to be there as well.

That’s how it ends up. That night, Beck and Jade have four windows open on Beck’s laptop in a video group chat with their friends. Robbie is with Beatrice and both beam happily, the whole time they talk.  
Benji also joins all of them for a while, at the beginning of the talk, listens to the newly engaged couple as they tell the story of their engagement. He congratulates them, before he leaves for his bed.  
The others talk for hours. They all stay well until 1am with Ruby also joining at one point and staying until the end – and Sharon making a short appearance too when she wakes up in the middle of the night and comes looking for her parents.  
They have a good time, like they always do when they’re together.

 

It’s Tuesday, the second of December.  
Jade gets woken up by the alarm which is a great feeling. For a few months now, Beck and Jade both get to sleep through most nights. Eli and Josh are three years old and even when they wake up a night, they mostly are able to get back to sleep themselves. Which is amazing. Jade’s still happy every morning she wakes up and realizes she has had another full night of sleep.  
That’s also how she feels today and why she feels she has by far enough energy for the day. She has to work and will take Eli and Josh to preschool before as it’s on her way.  
Beck meanwhile will take Nicky to kindergarten, taking two friends of his with him on the way. Benji gets picked up for school by the mother of a friend who needs to go to work at the same time.  
Benji will have to leave first with Beck and Nicky going next and Jade and the twins being the last to leave the house. Beck will come back after dropping Nicky and his friends off at their kindergarten, but today has a meeting with Will to talk about a new show idea they have and then will eat lunch with a few friends he made acting. Then he will pick up the twins first and Nicky second and will take care of them and also of Benji as soon as he’s back from school.  
So they all have a full day ahead but they’re used to it. And this morning actually starts quite slow.  
After Beck and Jade share some kisses in bed while waking up, they both go into the bathroom and get ready. The whole family only brushes their teeth after breakfast, before they get going, but they wash up before eating breakfast, brush their hair and Jade applies her make-up.  
She’s still at that when Beck steals a quick kiss from her and goes back to their room to get dressed and then make breakfast.  
Jade promises to wake up the kids. She gets done soon and also gets dressed before she knocks on the door of Benji’s room first, having to go to the room in the attic.  
“Baby, are you up?” she asks quietly as she opens the door.  
It’s still dark in the room which must mean that he isn’t and that he turned off his alarm without getting out of bed.  
She sees him roll over in his bed while he makes a sleepy: “Mh.”  
“’Mh’ isn’t an answer,” she says with a smirk.  
He takes a moment, then: “’m not.”  
He isn’t up. Yeah, she sees. “Will you get up?”  
A sigh, but also: “Yeah.”  
And as he sits up at the same time and then yawns, she leaves the room again, letting him have time.  
She goes to Nicky’s room next. He’s still living on the same floor as his parents do but he spots ideas of moving in the second bed room in the attic. Lately he also insists for his family to knock on his door. His own mind gets stronger every day, though he only turns six in about a month.  
Nicky doesn’t answer the door and Jade walks inside to find her little boy still fast asleep, as usual.  
Jade steps up to his bed, saying his name.  
He moves slightly. She puts her hand on his side, repeating his name once more.  
That makes him open his eyes, close them again, make a noise and roll further into her direction.  
She goes with her hand through his hair. “Hey, little one. Good morning.”  
“Morning,” he mumbles back.  
She drops a kiss on his forehead, then: “Come on, get up, huh?”  
He nods sleepily and Jade also waits for him to sit up before she leaves the room again.  
Next up is Josh. She also wishes him a quiet good morning while she walks into the room and tells him to rise, while she gets closer.  
“Joshy?” She says as she sits down on the bed side and sees movements in the bed. And only when she sits down there and gently wants to touch her son, she notices that not only Josh is in his bed, but Eli too. With a smile she asks: “Oh, and what are you doing here, Eli?”  
“Mhm,” the little boy makes as they both move around, open their eyes and yawn.  
“I thought we put you in your own bed last night,” she says and moves her hand over his belly.  
He promptly giggles, apparently joyful and proud of the fact that he sneaked into his brother’s room without her noticing. Not that she or Beck have anything against it. They’re always allowed to sleep in the same room or in theirs too.  
“Mommy,” Josh meanwhile mumbles and stretches out his arms for her. He takes him into her arms, pulls him out of the bed into her lap.  
“Come on, the two of you. We have to get you washed and do your hair. Your daddy will already have breakfast ready.”

She carries Josh into the bathroom with Eli following, much more awake than his twin brother already and about to tell Jade all about the dream he had.  
Nicky’s in the bathroom and very slowly washes himself. Benji meanwhile got ready in his own bathroom in the attic and at the same moment passes them, shortly wishing his brothers a good morning before going downstairs to his father, carelessly carrying his school bag.  
Jade helps the three yonger boys to wash up before she first picks out clothes for Josh and then for Eli and helps the two of them dress in Eli’s room.  
She sends them downstairs, planning to join them, but she passes Nicky’s room and sees him still dressing himself through the open door. And he’s moving so slow. He needs his time in the mornings, but well...  
And he always insists on picking out his own clothes (they try talking him out of it when he picks something not fitting with the weather) and dressing himself but sometimes he lets his parents help him do it faster. They have to if they for some reason don’t have that much time in the morning and need to hurry.  
“Want me to help you?” she asks, stopping in the doorway.  
“No,” Nicky immediately decides, halfway into the pair of jeans he picked.  
“Hurry a bit, yeah?” she says. “So you can still eat in peace.”  
Nicky actually rolls his eyes. “I’m at it.” Gosh, sometimes she can see why people claim Nicky’s a lot like her – and why her mother sometimes was a bit unnerved by her. She also wanted to do absolutely everything by herself at that age, no matter how long it took.  
She waits for Nicky and when he’s finally done, he wrinkles his nose at her as if annoyed that she waited for him, but then he walks up to her and stretches out his arms for her to pick him up.  
She does. Sometimes, he still can be so little after all.  
She carries him downstairs, where his brothers are already sitting around the table and are eating.  
Beck has waited for Jade and Nicky and only now fills a cup with coffee for the first and hot cocoa for the latter, before he also walks to the table.  
Jade sits Nicky down on his chair, then she turns to Beck. He smiles at her and she can’t help but smile back. They share a kiss as he hands her the coffee and... these are the moments where she always knows that her life is great. Even if there’s barely time for breaks or alike... It’s great the way it is.  
After sitting down, Jade feels her phone vibrate in her jeans pocket. She pulls it out and sees a message by Andre in the group chat. A photo to be more exact.  
“Okay, everyone, good news!” she says and can’t help but grin as she looks at the picture.  
“School is cancelled,” Benji promptly suggests.  
“No,” Jade says amused. “Andre texted.” And she reads the text out loud: “Please, if you will, welcome Joyce Joanna Harris into this world.”  
Josh furrows his brows: “Joyce?”  
Beck and Benji of course understood and are beaming too.  
“They had their child,” Benji explains to his little brother. “Sharon is having a little sister!”  
“Look at her,” Jade tells the family and shows her phone to Benji, who takes it and looks into it with Eli and Josh.  
Beck has gotten up and taken his phone from the counter where he put it, also draws the message up and looks at it with Nicky.  
The picture shows the four year old Sharon sitting on a hospital bed with an infant in her arms. Jade would guess that Joyce was born yesterday or throughout the night and that the photo actually was taken just now but she can’t be sure.  
It’s a beautiful picture all the same. Sharon looks quite proud and Joyce is adorable.  
“She’s cute,” Beck also says and Nicky notices: “She is so small.”  
“She is,” Jade confirms and takes her phone back from Benji to also take another look.  
Eli asks excited, hit by an idea: “Can we send them a photo back with us?”  
Seeing Sharon on a photo obviously made him want to have a photo of himself now. But Jade likes the idea. As does Beck, who says: “Sure. But you should congratulate them in some way on the photo.”  
“We could all show hearts,” Nicky suggests, putting his two hands together, making something that resembles a heart with his index fingers and thumbs. He’s quick with creative ideas, even in the mornings, though he isn’t a morning person.  
“Yes!” Eli makes and Josh also nods.  
“Sure,” Jade says and turning to Benji: “You wanna be in the photo too?”  
She doesn’t feel the need to be in the picture and she knows, Beck also doesn’t. After Andre sent a photo of his two children, it’s fitting to send a photo of their children back and not of themselves in their opinion.  
Benji meanwhile might feel “too cool” for something like this. He doesn’t but agrees to be in the photo. A minute later the younger boys are leaned into each other, all trying to make a heart while Benji stands behind them and does on too. Beck takes the photo and it honestly doesn’t look too much like a heart by any of them but Beck and Jade know their friends will appreaciate the sentiment and will adore the photo. So Beck sends it.  
It doesn’t take long and Cat sends a photo from her breakfast table that Trent must’ve taken, at least it isn’t a selfie. She makes a heart with her hands as well.  
Well, okay, yeah, their other friends can’t send a photo of own kids or alike.  
Robbie is quick to also send a photo, a selfie, but one that shows him and Beatrice, both joining each one hand to form a heart.  
Tori’s the last and she has to be alone, Jonas can’t be around, nor anyone else, at least he also does a selfie which leaves only one hand free with which alone she can’t form a heart. Instead, she has drawn quite a lot on a piece of paper, beaming just like their other friends.  
Beck and Jade have to grin about every single picture and also share them with their kids.  
Finally, Andre texts again, too many heart emojis that show though how much all the other photos mean to him and his wife and their growing family.

 

It’s the beginning of January. Nicky’ll turn six in less than a week, Beck’ll turn 30 at the end of the month, which Jade already did in November.  
It’s the weekend before everyone has to go back to school after Christmas break. Benji and Josh are both with friends.  
Jade remembers having read about twins back when she was pregnant with Benji and read way too much in the internet about how to raise children and alike. She read how dependent some identical twins can be on each other and how difficult that can possibly become. She talked to Beck about it and they decided to encourage their boys to do things apart from each other. They love each other to death but they did put them into different groups in their preschool and they are making different friends. Though usually they also meet their friends on the playground and alike and then the other kids usually also befriend the brother and that’s how they end up being invited together most places. Or another kid comes to their house and naturally plays with both boys – with Nicky too at times. In December, Eli went to another kids’ place alone for the first time and this time, it’s Josh’ turn. Surprisingly, Josh even wanted to, though he’s usually hesitant if Eli’s not with him. Honestly, he even is when his twin brother is with him, but moreso when he isn’t.  
Both boys are quite popular and while Beck and Jade didn’t like letting Benji play somewhere else without them when he was only three years old, they are more than fine with it with their smaller children. They know the parents of each of the friends they’re meeting with and know they can trust them.  
All four their children are actually quite popular. Jade knows that they all have Beck’s charm – even the times they behave more like her. She never was popular. Beck always was well-liked.  
Anyway... That means, that at least for two to three hours, as long as Josh will stay with his friend, it’s just Beck, Jade, Nicky and Eli. They’re playing a silly card game because Eli was so damn bored and he and Nicky alone don’t play together too well.  
They just finished another round and Nicky starts to shuffle the cards once more (not very good but he gets the job done), when Jade’s phone rings.  
“It’s Cat,” she informs her family when she looks on the screen. Then, she stands up, walks a few steps away and picks up the call. “Yeah?”  
Cat sounds as if she has way too many feelings right now, and talks faster than Jade has heard in a long time, though she always speaks fast: “Jade. Do you have time? Can you come by? Please. Pretty please. Jade, I need you.”  
Jade rolls her eyes slightly. Cat talking like this always annoys her a bit. Though she knows Cat can’t help herself. Something must’ve happened.  
“Yes, sure,” she answers. She knows it doesn’t make sense when Cat’s like this to ask what’s going on. Cat will blabber on without giving a clear answer. “You home?”  
“Yes.”  
“I’ll be there in a few minutes,” Jade tells her and she thanks her profusely for a few seconds, before Jade cuts her off by hanging up.  
“What’s going on?” Beck checks when Jade turns back around.  
“I’m driving over to Cat’s. She sounded distressed,” she says. And she forms it like a statement but means it more like a question. She wants to ask if it’s okay for her to drive over to Cat’s and leaving Beck at it to watch over Nicky and Eli alone.  
Beck understands. He knows her so well. And he nods: “Of course. Someone hurt?”  
“I don’t think so,” Jade says.  
Eli and Nicky have listened and Eli asks: “Can I come to Cat’s too?”  
They all love spending time with Cat as they’re always having so much fun with her.  
But as Cat apparently needs to talk to Jade, as she has some sort of problem, the kids shouldn’t be around, so Jade says: “No.”  
Eli pouts and Jade slightly rolls her eyes before she explains and promises: “She needs to talk to me alone. But when we’re done and she still has time, I can bring her back with me.”  
“Would you?” Eli asks excited and Jade nods: “I’ll ask her.”  
She kisses Eli’s temple, then Nicky’s, before she shares a kiss with Beck a tad longer than most other couples would do to say goodbye.

Cat’s already waiting for her at the door when she’s pulling into the driveway.  
“Jadey!” she calls out the nickname that only she dares to use, but also only barely, as Jade also doesn’t like it. “Thank you for coming! I don’t know what to do.”  
Jade has walked up to her from the car while she talked, has shortly hugged her but already has spotted a certain new accessoire.  
So as soon as they break apart, Jade takes Cat’s hand in hers and looks at her new ring. She cocks an eyebrow: “Is that an engagement ring?”  
Cat pulls Jade into the house while she says: “Yes. And that’s the problem! Trent proposed!”  
Okay, Jade doesn’t get it. She closes the door behind her while she tries to process the news. Okay, Trent proposed. And Cat apparently said yes as she’s now wearing the ring.  
And Jade knows Cat. She knows she wants to marry Trent. Not that Jade thought about it before. But even the way she talks about it, the way she now looks at the ring herself. And just the fact that she’s Cat and that she loves Trent so damn much... Of course she wants to marry him.  
That’s why Jade asks: “And that’s a problem why?”  
“I want to marry him,” Cat answers and continues with barely taking breaks to breathe: “I totally do. He proposed yesterday and we talked all night and we would like to marry already in August. On the 21st because that’s when his parents married and also my grandparents. Isn’t that an amazing coincidence? We noticed that on Christmas and said we would marry on that day one year. I didn’t know he planend to propose though he told me he already had the ring ready and just chickened out. This is the year, Jade! The year I’ll get married to Trent!”  
She beams at Jade and Jade would love to celebrate with her because she knows how happy this makes Cat. And as much as Jade still likes to pretend to want to see everybody miserably, she actually loves her friends to be happy.  
But the thing is that Cat isn’t fully happy. That’s at least why she ordered Jade here, even if she seemed to have forgotten as soon as she started talking about the specific date. “What’s the problem then?”  
Cat looses her grin and sighs, sinking down on the couch of her living room. “Robbie is marrying this year.”  
“17th of July, yes,” she confirms as that’s the date that Robbie told all of them about a month ago. They booked the venue and made sure to tell all the people most important to them, so they’ll leave time that day.  
She doesn’t follow where there’s a problem with that.  
“Exactly,” Cat says. “Isn’t that terrible?”  
Jade blinks. Whatever she’s missing. “I don’t follow you, Cat. What’s the damn problem?”  
Cat looks at her with big eyes. “He and Trixi are so excited for their wedding and are preparing for it for months. I can’t come now and tell everyone that I’m marrying a month later. Can I?”  
Seriously? What? Is she thinking she’s taking something away from Robbie and Beatrice?  
“You can,” she roughly tells Cat, sitting down next to her. “That’s ridiculous, Cat. Why should that be a problem for Robbie and Trixi?”  
Cat shrugs with a pout. “I don’t know.”  
“See,” Jade says. “You don’t know because there’s no problem. Robbie will be ridiculously happy for you. As will be Trixi, honestly. They love you so much and they love Trent. We all do!”  
Cat looks at her for a long moment, then: “You don’t think I’m... like... taking anything away from them?”  
“I don’t,” Jade only answers because that thought is so ridiculous that there’s nothing more to say to that. Instead she asks: “Where’s Trent?”  
He moved into her parents’ home where Cat lives again a few months ago. Her parents are still taking care of her brother closer to special hospitals all around the US, depending on what he needs that moment.  
“He helps a friend with his car,” Cat explains his absence.  
And Jade asks, as she promised Eli anyway and as it’ll probably do Cat good to spend time with them, to get cheered up and finally celebrate her engagement without doubts: “Wanna come home with me and celebrate with Beck, Eli and Nicky?”  
Cat does.

Everyone hugs Cat in greeting but Beck of course also has to check: “Everything alright?”  
Cat already cheered up a great deal on the car ride over. Jade telling her that it’s okay to marry a month after Robbie, makes her already feel relaxed about it. As she thinks Jade’s always right...  
“Better than alright,” she therefore now also says, promptly showing off her ring: “I’m engaged!”  
Beck hasn’t counted on that and is totally overjoyed about it: “Really? Congrats! Who popped the question?”  
“He did,” Cat answers and then tells the whole story – in a way that also keeps Nicky and Eli interested and amused.  
Jade picks up Josh only a while later and afterwards also finds Trent at their home. He called Cat when he didn’t find her at home and she told him to come over and confessed that she already told the Wests all about the engagement.  
They are celebrating together even way after Benji also is already home.

 

Both weddings are very unique and beautiful. Beck and Jade’s children as well as Andre and Ruby’s are involved in both ceremonies, especially as flower kids. Benji’s meanwhile the ring bearer for Cat and Trent and is really proud and happy about that role, just like he was back when he did the same for Andre and Ruby. Even prouder he is of the fact that Robbie makes him a groomsman next to only Beck and Andre.  
Nicky proudly leads the flower kids on both weddings, deciding that he’s the one to make sure the other kids are following suit and are doing their job right as he’s the oldest. Which is a good thing because that makes him encourage Josh very much for everything to run smoothly. Josh needs the encouragement, especially on Robbie’s wedding day, when he suddenly realizes that he’s supposed to walk down the aisle in front of a lot of watching eyes. Nicky talks to him and then briskly takes him by his hand that day when the music starts and they have to start walking, keeping Josh close, which gets him through it and even makes him proud when he’s done.  
Eli meanwhile doesn’t have a problem with all the people even for a second, but looks around quite interested the whole way down the aisle for both weddings and even charmingly waves at everyone he knows, which Sharon happily imitates when she notices.


	16. Tori, and Benji's first girlfriend

Joyce turns one year old on December first.  
Andre and Ruby invite their friends to a big birthday party on that same day, which is a Saturday, and everyone has time, which always is amazing and fun.  
Andre and Ruby also made sure to tell all the other parents in the group, Beck, Jade and three of Ruby’s friends, that their children could sleep over. They could still go home at some point and either take their sleeping kid with them or only come to pick it up in the morning.  
They really just want to party with their friends. Joyce isn’t old enough to realize that it’s her birthday that gets celebrated.  
She does get lots of presents though by everyone. But soon enough she’s off to bed with waking up regularly, and one of her parents always goes to take care of her.  
Out of Ruby’s friends, several brought their partners too, but only one decided to also have their kids here. It’s two of them, three and six years of age. They fit right along with Sharon, who’s five, and then Eli and Josh, who are four, and Nicky who’s six years old too.  
Beck and Jade asked them where they’d like to be and then also checked another time with Andre and Ruby if they were sure they could bring all three of them – and then leave them for the night as they of course love the idea to have the night to themselves after spending a long evening with their friends.  
Benji’s fourteen and directly decided that it was a too long sort of party and that he rather wanted to stay with his grandparents and have a relaxing night.  
As Nicky, Eli and Josh wanted to stay over with Andre, Ruby, Sharon and Joyce and they also easily behave in the mornings and Beck and Jade know they themselves will stay at least until they fall asleep in Sharon’s room with the other kids, they also don’t think it will be too much of a hassle and too much responsibility for Andre and Ruby.  
They indeed are asleep now. All the kids had a long night and all said that they would never go to sleep, but that’s long forgotten.  
Ruby’s friends also went home around midnight one by one. And that leaves Andre and Ruby, Beck and Jade, Tori and Jonas, Robbie and Beatrice and Cat and Trent.  
They’re still catching each other up on everything that happened recently in their lives and are making the jokes they longed to make with their friends since certain events.  
Another hour has passed with just them, then Tori suddenly asks the whole group, interrupting Jade, Robbie and Beatrice in the talk they just had: “I know it’s Joyce’s day today but can we tell you some news?”  
She makes a gesture to Jonas and herself.  
“Sure,” Ruby says and Andre adds: “It’s also not her day anymore. It’s already way past midnight.” So it’s also not Ruby’s and Andre’s day anymore though the birthday of your child, especially the first birthday, always feels like your day too somewhat.  
Tori shares a last quick look with Jonas, but she already beams and then says: “I’m pregnant.”  
Nobody expected that. She also wasn’t the only one to not drink any alcohol. Jade and Beck barely drink as well, Ruby also didn’t touch anything as she’s still nursing Joyce. Everyone else also didn’t drink much, only at the beginning a bit, mainly.  
Now everyone jumps up in happiness and a lot of hugs get exchanged while Tori gets asked how far along she is and when the baby is due, which is already at the end of April.  
They toast to the pregnancy and good health and everything else they can think of before Tori turns to Cat: “I’m confused that you aren’t pregnant yet.”  
They all know that Cat wants to have a child. She says so from time to time when she’s cooing at the West oder Harris children.  
And it of course could be that Cat and Trent are already trying or one of them is infertile or alike but Tori feels like they’re in a safe space now and that Cat and Trent would be comfortable to tell with this group.  
Cat indeed doesn’t feel bad about the comment, instead she explains, looking at Trent: “Our careers are going so well at the moment. But we want to have a child some day, don’t we?”  
Both their careers are going well, that’s true. Cat’s doing decently as a singer and Trent even had an appearance as a stand-up comedic on TV by now.  
“We do,” Trent confirms, taking Cat’s hand in his. “It can just still wait.”  
It totally can as they’re also still so young. But now that they are on the topic of having kids and Beck and Jade already have four, Andre and Ruby have two, Tori and Jonas are pregnant with their first and Cat and Trent told them that they still want to wait, Beck decides to address Robbie and Beatrice: “What about you?”  
The couple shares a look like the others have done. They seem a bit nervous.  
Beatrice is the one to say after a moment: “We decided we don’t wanna have kids.”  
That takes the others by mild surprise. It’s just so common for married couples to also have children at some point. Also for other long term couples, as proven by Tori and Jonas who aren’t married yet but are having a child now.  
“Really? Why?” Andre therefore asks.  
Robbie shrugs. “It’s just not for us.”  
“Okay,” Beck makes before Beatrice explains carefully: “I never really wanted kids and was nervous about talking to Robbie about it. But we did before the wedding. He started the conversation.”  
Robbie nods and says: “I realized years ago that... I don’t need children to be happy. I mean... if she would’ve wanted to, I maybe would’ve agreed but I was... relieved when she said she didn’t want any, somehow. I love all your kids so so much, honestly, and love babysitting them every now and then. But we’re also happy without one of our own.”  
The friends never knew that Robbie didn’t want to have children of his own. But the way he talks about it, they know it’s true. And they’re also sure it’s true for Beatrice. And it’s as if the only reason they’re nervous to talk about it now, is that their friends could judge them for it. As if this was something they could find wrong. As if someone not wanting a child of their own was wrong or something.  
But obviously, their friends don’t mind. They wouldn’t even have needed the reassurance that Robbie and Beatrice love their children. They know. They all can see that bright smile especially Robbie has on his face when he talks to one of the children.  
Mildly Tori notices: “It’s good that you can agree on that. And it’s good that you don’t force yourselves into something like that. Having a child shouldn’t be something you should do, just because everyone else does.”  
Of course, Jade has to smirk at Tori: “Wise words about having children from someone who’s not having a child themselves yet.”  
“Yet. Exactly,” Tori says with a grin.

Tori has a whole lot ideas about having a child and how to behave with it and what it means to have children and to be a mother, but... she doesn’t really have a clue and she knows that.  
And the further she gets with her pregnancy, the more unsure she gets. How will she ever manage to raise a child? She’ll have to take care of it for the rest of her life. How can she?  
And she knows there’s one person she can turn to with this. Of course she could talk about this with her mother for example. She’ll always help her. But Tori feels like she will also always pretend for everything to be well. Jade won’t. She remembers how honest Beck and Jade both were, back when they were teenagers, about the whole situation with Benji. She remembers that one talk she had with Jade when they were 18, when Sikowitz forced them on a date for their roles in his play. Where Jade told her how she tries to be the perfect mother but how nobody can be. How much a child changes your life. How not everything is great with a child around.  
Tori wants to talk to Jade about her own worries. She knows that Jade’s always brutally honest. And that’s what Tori needs right now. Especially as she knows that Jade is her friend and will show her support in her own way in any case.  
She visits Jade one Saturday when she’s seven months pregnant in Feburary. She has heard that Beck’s grandparents were in the country and that the family would meet up with them. When Tori asked Jade if she could make time some day for them to catch up, Jade seemed glad about the question and directly said she could do Saturday. Apparently, she was glad for an excuse to not to have to spend more time with Beck’s grandparents – though Tori also doesn’t think Beck would ever force her to come along. Possibly she would just feel stupid if her husband and her kids would spend time with family and she would sit at home alone, doing nothing. She can then very well spend time with her own family.. .and the extended one, even if they don’t get along too great.  
Anyway... Now, Beck’s out with his grandparents and the kids, while Jade and Tori sit at the kitchen counter in the Wests’ home.  
Jade made Tori tea and then directly asks: “How’s the pregnancy going?” Because Jade does care as much as she pretends she doesn’t.  
Tori can’t help but smile. “Really good. I feel like I could do anything right now.”  
She does. She feels extremely strong and confident, unlike at the beginning of the pregnancy. It feels good. (But it doesn’t diminish the fear she sometimes feels about raising this child. About being a mother.)  
“That’s a good feeling”, Jade knowingly acknowledges.  
So that’s apparently a common feeling during the pregnancy.  
But Tori’d much rather talk about the fear she’s feeling than about that good feeling. That’s why she continues: “Though... still. I get scared sometimes.”  
Jade doesn’t respond to that, just sips her own tea.  
Okay, then. Tori keeps going: “About having a child. Like... Can I do it?”  
“You can,” Jade easily answers.  
That sounds surprisingly reassuring out of Jade’s mouth though it isn’t what Tori expected or hoped for. Not something she can actually work with.  
But she just can directly ask for advice, she realizes. “How do you do it? How do you raise four children?”  
Jade looks at her for a moment with a raised eyebrow, confused by the question, then she answers carelessly: “They’re around. It’s not like I sit down and... ‘raise them’.”  
Obviously it’s nothing she actively thinks about these days, raising children. It’s something you’re automatically doing when you have a child.  
But... “You know what I mean,” Tori claims. “Do you remember how you told me back when we were 18 that you try to be a perfect mother but nobody ever can be?”  
Jade seems suspicious as if Tori could want something bad from her, but she still confirms: “I do.”  
“How have you dealt with that?” Tori questions. “With making mistakes though you don’t want to.”  
Jade catches up. She gets what Tori wants to talk about. And she shrugs, before she actually answers in total honesty, with the rough voice, she especially uses for these occasions: “It’s still awful sometimes. You know... you get used to little mistakes. They happen and it’s fine. But then bigger stuff happens and...” She shrugs, then: “I still ask myself how I could’ve ever let Nicky fall from that stool four years ago.”  
“Oh,” Tori makes.  
She also remembers that horrible accident. It was curious that Beck and Jade didn’t text in their group chain for about two days though everyone else did at that time – and then they texted about the accident when Nicky was already home from the hospital again. They of course all came to visit, all brought presents and all tried to make Nicky but also the rest of the family feel better again.  
Tori hasn’t thought about that accident for... at least three years. That it’s just on the top of Jade’s mind and the tip of her tongue... That already tells Tori a whole lot. So that’s what it’s like to be a parent.  
Jade continues, shrugging. “But you have to live with yourself and honestly have to know how lucky you are if nothing too big happens. It’s not because you’re such a good parent but because you’re in luck. Remind yourself of that sometimes when it’s going well, and treat your kids accordingly. They are the most precious things in your life and it’s okay to let them know. That doesn’t mean you have to spoil them or anything.”  
Tori can’t believe how her heart warms at Jade’s words. Hearing her talk about her children... You can’t get her more honest and heartfelt at any other moment. It’s not like she talks like this about them all the time. It depends on the situation. But sometimes she does and for Tori it’s the most beautiful thing in the world. It’s just as beautiful when she talks about Beck that way, though she does that even more rarely.  
“That’s good advice,” Tori says with a gentle smile.  
Jade smirks. “I know.”  
Tori has to grin. Of course she does.  
And then she thinks about her own child growing in her belly as they talk. That already feels like the most precious thing in her life though it isn’t even born yet.  
She confesses that feeling: “I already love her more than anything.” She rubs over her belly.  
She notices how Jade pauses but can’t make sense of it, until Jade raises her eyebrows amused: “Her?”  
God, she said ‘her’. Yes. She talked about the little girl growing inside of her and didn’t watch herself to not let the sex of the baby slip. Though Jonas and her agreed to not tell anyone until the baby is born. Because it’s supposed to be their little secret. They made quite a big deal about that in front of their friends, telling absolutely everyone that they won’t tell them the sex before the birth.  
“Oh, no,” Tori makes.  
Jade smirks again and sarcastically but amused all the same says: “Well done, Vega.”  
“Gosh, don’t tell Jonas!” Tori says. “Or if you do, say you threatened me to tell you.”  
She knows that Jonas of course wouldn’t be angry. Now that she thinks about it, she guesses that he might have let it slip to someone already as well. But... She’ll wait until he confesses, before she does.  
Jade laughs. “Don’t worry. A girl, huh? Already have a name?”  
“We do,” Tori confirms but she obviously won’t say.  
And Jade doesn’t ask because she also always kept the names she and Beck chose a secret though Tori knows they also decided way before the birth.  
Instead Jade takes another sip of her tea, before she then suddenly says: “Just don’t expect too much of becoming a mother. It’s not something magical that changes your whole life. I mean... it does change everything, all your relationships, but it doesn’t change you. And it doesn’t suddenly give a meaning to your life or makes it any easier or something. It instead makes it much harder, honestly.”  
Tori nods. She’ll keep that in mind. And weirdly, even those word soothe her fear. Maybe because she knows she can always come to Jade if something gets to be too much for her. Jade of all people will understand and help her, she knows. Which is weird enough when Tori thinks back about how they met.  
And thinking back to that moment... She remembers that she met Sikowitz recently, whom neither of the friends sadly have otherwise seen much lately, though they try to keep in touch with him, and she now tells Jade all about it.

Beck and the kids have been long gone when Tori arrived and when she’s only there for an hour, she hears the door and a while later, Benji walks into the kitchen.  
“Hey,” he makes into the room.  
“Hi, Benj,” Tori says with a smile. Andre was the first to use the nickname ‘Benj’ from their group (though apparently a few school friends did before) and they often use that by now. Not Benji’s family but the other adults in his life.  
Tori watches how Benji leans kisses his mother’s cheek and... gosh, he does look so much like Beck. Well... It’s only partly the looks. It’s much more about how he moves. And the way he kisses Jade’s cheek... Yes, he looks like Beck did back in time, when Tori just met him, only even younger. It’s strange.  
He then hugs Tori, while Jade checks: “Came home alone?”  
Apparently he did as they can’t hear somebody else in the house.  
“Yeah,” Benji says. “Wasn’t in the mood anymore.”  
That makes Jade smirk, before Benji turns back to Tori: “How’s your pregnancy going?”  
Benji’s always kind and attentive and asks about the well-being of others. It’s amazing because actually neither of his parents are too much like that – Beck more than Jade, but still not as much as Benji is. Well, and Jade obviously also asked about Tori’s pregnancy as soon as they started talking, but they’re also close friends. Benji’s like this with everyone, as far as Tori can gather.  
“Really well,” Tori answers. “How are you?”  
“Fine,” Benji replies smiling, then he adresses his mother again: “Will you take me to Aaron later?”  
Jade seems sceptical because of the question. “What do you mean with ‘later’?”  
“8pm,” Benji only answers.  
“How long do you wanna stay?” Jade asks.  
Benji shrugs and Jade continues: “Will anybody else be there?”  
By now, Benji seems a little annoyed but he still answers calmly: “Everybody but his mom probably.”  
“Some other friends?” Jade checks.  
“Nope,” Benji says and for a moment they look into each other’s eyes, before Jade finally agrees: “Okay. I’ll take you later.”  
Benji kisses her cheek again before he tells both of them that he’ll leave for his room and let them talk.  
When he’s gone, Tori tells Jade: “That’s what I want to have.”  
Whatever it is between Jade and Benji. Those looks, them only needing to exchange a few words, him kissing her cheek like that... Tori wants the relationship Jade has to her children, that doesn’t seem special, but if you watch her together with one of them, you always see the love and the trust and the understanding.  
Jade dryly asks though: “A teenager whom you might be able to trust but maybe not?”  
That’s harsh. “You can trust him,” Tori knows because Benji is the most honest teenager she has ever met.  
Jade snorts. “He’s been at a friends’ place like... three months ago to hang out. The friends’ parents weren’t home and it was a party with alcohol and everyhing.”  
And he didn’t tell his parents. However they found out about it afterwards.  
But can that really be? Benji’s only 14. Tori tries to remember when she started with parties like that but even though it hasn’t been that long ago that she was the same age, she honestly forgot.  
“Benji drank?” she asks in horror. Not little Benji!  
Jade looks a bit bored. She seems to be over it. It was just to prove that Benji can’t be trusted at all times. “He tried but didn’t like the taste.”  
Tori doesn’t get it. “And Beck let him go home alone just now and you’ll let him go to one of his friend’s later?”  
Beck isn’t even calling or texting Jade to check if Benji arrived. He must have trusted that he was going straight home if he said so, despite what happened with that party. And Jade now questioned Benji about him visiting a friend, but still promised to take him without checking his claims first, like by calling his friends’ parents or alike. She bets Benji also wouldn’t appreciate that but... well, he was the one doing something that made him untrustworthy.  
Jade only shrugs at that question. As if she can’t put into words why she’ll let Benji go but that it’s what Beck and she’ll do.  
“I think I have a lot to learn,” Tori says after a moment. About children doing something wrong, about the trust you can loose and that which you can still keep.  
Jade shrugs again, then: “Everybody has. Don’t worry about it.”

Beck comes home roughly an hour later with the other three children who immediately occupy the women and tell them absolutely everything about their day. There’s just a short moment where Tori believes to notice Beck looking at Jade with a question in his eyes, where Tori believes he’s silently asking about Benji being home. She does see Jade nod, before the couple kisses.  
Benji comes down later, having heard the rest of the family coming home, and Tori gets to spend some time with all of them, before she goes home.

 

Tori has her daughter Ayla on the third of April. Benji’s 15 by then, Nicky seven and Eli and Josh are five years old. Sharon is five years old as well and Joyce just 16 months.  
Beck, Jade, Andre and Ruby manage to visit Tori, Jonas and their new little girl at the same time, only without Benji. Robbie is there as well, while his wife Beatrice as well as Cat and Trent don’t have time and will visit a week later.  
Ayla is only three days old when her friends visit with their children. She’s more than open to it. All of it still feels so new, having a baby, but she loves her friends and loves to be around them, also now.  
Robbie wonders why Benji didn’t came. The teenager also seemed excited about the upcoming birth, the last time he saw him, and he thought he’d like to meet the baby soon as well. But he doesn’t get around to ask about his whereabouts at first.  
What they all do notice after cooing over Ayla for a while is that both Beck and Jade are constantly checking their phones but they are not getting any texts or calls.  
Finally, Andre asks: “What’s going on with you two?”  
“Nothing,” Jade says but when all their friends raise their eyebrows at them, Beck answers: “Benji’s on his very first date.”  
“Really?” Tori asks with widening eyes.  
Andre meanwhile says: “That’s awesome!”  
Robbie nods in agreement. It totally is. He never thought about the fact that Benji’s already 15 and therefore well within the age to start dating. With Benji being such a charming and handsome boy, Robbie suddenly wonders why he’s only having his first date now and not any sooner.  
“It’s not,” Beck says and Robbie notices how he’s rubbing Jade’s back like he always does if he wants to calm her down. “He’s still so young.”  
Well, okay, that’s not true, if you stop and think about it. Robbie has to say: “You do realize that you already started dating with... what? 13?” Both of them must have started to date around that age. “And each other with 14.”  
“And you got pregnant when you were Benji’s age,” Andre reminds Jade.  
Jade turns to Beck with a deadly serious look in her eyes. “You did talk to him about protection again, yes?”  
Robbie exchanges a look with the others.  
“Yes,” Beck confirms at the same time.  
Tori promptly says: “It’s his first date. Not even you had sex on your first date.”  
Robbie shortly checks but finds the kids occupied in their games a few feet away, not listening to the adults now suddenly talking about sex. Well, Ayla lies in Jonas’ arms, but she was just born and has no idea what’s going on. Nicky meanwhile seems to play peek-a-boo with Joyce, and Sharon, Eli and Josh are doing something that looks like some sort of dance-off.  
“What do you know?” Jade dryly tells Tori.  
Okay, stop. Robbie’s eyes widen and he knows, his friends’ eyes do too. “You did?”  
“No!” Jade answers, now looking at him as if he was stupid for thinking so. “We were fourteen.”  
Well, and Jade got pregnant when both of them were fifteen, so it isn’t like the idea is so far off. But anyway...  
“I think it’s great that he’s growing up,” Ruby says mildly. Robbie silently agrees with her. It’s great to witness. Not only when you never knew him as a baby like Ruby, who only met him when he was four or five years old, but also when you have known him forever. Robbie always enjoys seeing him grow up in any way possible.  
“He isn’t,” Jade says, almost in a threatning tone, as if they shouldn’t dare ‘making Benji grow up’, as if that was possible.  
“He is and it’s awful,” Beck says though and addressing the two couples present at the moment, he adds: “Just wait until you have children that age. I do realize now why my parents were so crazy about this.” He implies himself and Jade.  
Jade snorts. “Your parents only were crazy because they didn’t like me. I don’t care who that girl is – I will hate her either way.”

 

It turns out she doesn’t though.  
Benji doesn’t only go on his first date with the girl that’s called Evelyn, she also becomes his very first girlfriend. And only shortly after they get together, Benji takes her home with him to introduce her to his parents.  
Nicky, Eli and Josh are up in one of the boys’ rooms and playing, when Benji comes home with her for the first time, while Beck and Jade are in the living room together. They both introduce themselves and Evelyn does herself, before she says, with an honest smile: “It’s so great to meet both of you.” And she turns to Jade. “I honestly love your work. I didn’t realize you were one of the writers on Lesser Being. I binge-watched that a month ago and told Benj all about it yesterday and apparently embarrassed myself with my gushing over it.” She throws a pointed but more playful look to Benji. “He laughed and told me that you wrote for that. I never looked at the names so much and thought you only acted. Now he told me you even wrote my favorite episode. The one with Liza’s brother.”  
Jade immediately knows which episode Evelyn is talking about. “That was a good one,” she confirms because she did love it herself.  
But how weird that Evelyn watched the show that Jade wrote on before she had the twins. When not even Benji watched it. Well, it’s recommended for 16 or up. Which Evelyn also isn’t yet, being 15 like Benji as he already told his parents.  
Jade can’t help but immediately like this girl. Well, she apparently has good taste. With having Benji as a boyfriend and with the TV shows she watches.  
Beck knows her and obviously sees that she feels that way. He smiles at Evelyn: “Well, you won her over.” He implies Jade. “I hope Benji didn’t tell you to say that to be on her good side.”  
“As if I would,” Benji answers but he gets that his father isn’t meaning what he’s saying anyway. Benji wouldn’t even have known there was an episode with Liza’s brother, as Evelyn just now put it. He does know there’s a character named Liza in the show his mother wrote on (that got cancelled roughly half a year after the twins were born when his mother didn’t have time for it anyway). He knows the names of the episodes his mother has written. He barely knows any more about it.  
Jade meanwhile cocks an eyebrow at Beck. “Are you saying that nobody could say anything positive about my writing and be honest?”  
Okay, she wants to misunderstand as she sometimes does.  
“You know that’s not what I was saying,” he gently says.  
“It sounded like it,” Jade harshly responds, crossing her arms in front of her chest.  
Beck answers, slightly exasperated: “It was a joke!”  
“Yeah, right,” Jade responds and Beck says her name and wants to continue, but she promptly cuts through: “Shut up.”  
Evelyn has started feeling uncomfortable by now and Benji tells her with a shrug: “Well, that’s my parents.”  
“We’re sorry,” Beck says which makes Jade roll her eyes.

 

Evelyn really is a nice enough girl and Jade doesn’t mind her around as much as she thought she would. She never likes anyone but Beck and their children in the house all that much, but Evelyn is over every now and then, doesn’t snoop around, doesn’t take up much space and doesn’t really annoy Jade at all.  
One Saturday morning, two months after they got together, Jade finds Benji eating cereal in the kitchen. It’s a slow morning. Nicky’s still asleep while Eli and Josh play together in Eli’s room and Beck’s writing on his latest script in his and Jade’s bedroom, still lying in bed as Jade promised to take care of the kids.  
She was with the twins just now but heard Benji passing by and now came to the kitchen to see him, to hear what he has planned for the day. He was out the evening before with Evelyn, came home with the bus though he said before that her mother would bring him home, and didn’t want to talk but looked grumpy.  
“Morning,” Jade greets her oldest son. “How did you sleep?”  
Benji only shortly glances at her and shrugs.  
She goes with her hand through his hair like she loves to do with all her boys and Beck too, then she outright asks, because she knows there’s something: “What’s wrong?”  
Benji considers her for a moment, before he lets the spoon fall into his bowl of cereal, sighing. “Evelyn and I broke up.”  
“Seriously?” Jade asks.  
That can’t be, can it be? No. It can’t be her little boy’s first heartbreak!  
She didn’t even think about that before. That Evelyn could very well break Benji’s heart. She only thought about having to accept a stranger into her family, about accepting a stranger by her son’s side. But yes, it’s unlikely for Benji to stay with his first girlfriend forever like Beck and Jade did with each other. And heck, though they are the loves of each other’s lives, they also hurt each other like crazy and broke each other’s hearts in between.  
She doesn’t ever want Benji to feel that way. But in a way he does now, she knows. That explains his mood the prior evening when he came home from their date. And his face now.  
Benji nods and then says: “I don’t even know how it happened. Suddenly we were in a talk and decided that it just wasn’t what we hoped it would be. I mean... I like her but maybe more like a friend.”  
That sounds surpringly grown-up. No, not surpringly. Benji always has been such an old soul. It’s like him to talk to his girlfriend and to mutually decide that they should break up because there isn’t the feeling between them that’s expected.  
Benji slowly continues: “And yet... I’m sad. Like... Not crushingly sad but... sad.”  
He looks into his mother’s eyes and there is her little boy. Of course he is sad. Because it doesn’t require a messy break-up to feel heart-broken. He wanted his and Evelyn’s relationship to be special and lasting and it wasn’t. That can make you sad even when you didn’t love the other person.  
“I’m sorry, baby,” Jade says.  
Gently, Benji asks: “Have you and Dad loved each other at my age?”  
Did he want something with Evelyn that equals what his parents have? Gosh, how Jade wishes something similiar for him and also her other sons.  
But she can’t help him and just answers his question, because there’s nothing else to do: “Not like nowadays. But yes.”  
They always did love each other in a way. Well, not on first sight. There was only attraction back then. But as they started to get to know each other, they easily fell in love and that love never vanished throughout their lives. Jade knows that that is extremely rare though.  
Interested, Benji asks: “In what way not like today?”  
Jade’s always ready to explain everything to her sons, even feelings, which she doesn’t talk about too much with other people. “When you fall in love... everything feels so exciting. You know, what others call butterflies. It’s wild and strange and beautiful. I felt it like a warm feeling, that kept swelling and sometimes almost suffacted me. It still sometimes feels like that. But underneath that is a constant trusting and untouchable love. A love that needs to grow over time and comes by surviving stuff together. A love that makes you family.”  
Benji smiles at her – a smile that looks so much like that of his father. “I want to feel like that some day.”  
Jade runs her hand through his hair again. “It’s not like you absolutely need it in your life. You can have a great life without a partner. But if you want it, I’m sure you will have it some day. Too soon for your dad and me.”  
Benji snorts lightly and Jade pulls him into a hug with a smirk, him still sitting on the stool at the kitchen counter.  
Jade puts her hand protectively on the back of Benji’s head, his face leaning against her shoulder. Her baby boy. Gosh. Now he actually had his first girlfriend and broke up with her, is thinking about love and a future with another person.  
How can that be?  
She presses a kiss against his head and then whispers: “I remember a time when I was able to hold you.” When she was able to somewhat protect him from pain, right here in her arms.  
His words are even more quiet as he responds, softly: “You’re still holding me, Mom.”


	17. Talking about love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to this chapter!  
> It starts with a scene that's one of those which got this story started. This was sort of the first scene that was written for this story - though a bit different back then.  
> And we're already near the end with this chapter. There are probably only two more left after this, possibly three, but more likely two.  
> Have fun with this one!

It’s the middle of May and Tori, Jonas and their daughter Ayla, who’s 13 months old now, are visiting Beck and Jade. As is Andre with the six year old Sharon, while Ruby stayed home with Joyce, who’s two years old by now and sick.  
Cat is on a world tour at the moment, which is crazy and unbelievable. Robbie and Beatrice travelled to Japan for two weeks and will also go on one of her concerts there, just because they can. Which is even crazier.  
The friends can’t believe, how Cat’s career took off, though her talent also more than justifies her success. Tori’s also still making music, but she slowed down with it a lot since she had her daughter. She also loves the freedom that comes with not being that successful and famous. She earns some money but isn’t constantly watched and also doesn’t have too strict requirements posed to her.  
Eli and Josh, who are also six years old, are playing with Sharon upstairs. The eight year old Nicky stayed downstairs with the adults and Ayla for a while before he either joined the others or got up into his own room to play alone, Tori isn’t too sure.  
It’s a Friday, all the kids were in school. Benji only comes home when the visitors are already there, has stayed in school for the school paper he’s working for.  
He eats something, sitting in the living room with the adults, talking with them, explaining about the new article he wrote and asking about their lives as he does.  
Only after a while, Beck mentions: “By the way: I thought you’d bring your new friend again.”  
Benji simply replies: “We are not friends. We’re just doing a school project together.”  
Beck mildly says: “You talked about him like you were friends.”  
Benji shrugs. “I thought he was. Until he tried to take the family picture in my room with him yesterday.”  
Tori didn’t know Benji had a family picture in his room and she finds that incredibly sweet at the age of sixteen. But she can’t think too much about it, as she’s confused at why apparently another kid Benji’s age would want to take it with him.  
“That sounds creepy,” Jade notices but she doesn’t sound creeped out, more interested in the story behind it than anything else.  
Beck meanwhile furrows his brow, asking the question that’s obviously on all their minds: “Why would he take a family picture with him?”  
Benji keeps sounding bored: “He wanted to cut Mom out of it because he especially liked her there.”  
“Even more creepy,” Jade comments, but now she doesn’t sound interested anymore but more sceptical.  
“I can’t follow,” Beck confesses after glancing to Jade. Tori exchanges looks with Jonas and Andre who also can’t follow.  
And Benji gets to the point: “He finds Mom hot. He apparently saw her when she picked me up two weeks ago and yeah, since then he has been all chummy and wanted to do that project with me and everything.”  
Wow. Really?  
“That’s disgusting,” Beck says, still with a furrowed brow.  
Yeah, he doesn’t like it, Tori can see. Benji meanwhile doesn’t seem to care, instead he confirms another time: “Yeah, he’s totally into Mom.”  
Beck turns to Jade and says in an accusing tone of voice: “You made dinner for him!”  
She did?  
But Jade promptly glares at him and corrects: “I made dinner for my children and my stupid husband.”  
Okay, that makes sense. She made dinner for the family and this boy was over that day and ate dinner with them. Before he apparently tried to take a family picture with him.  
“There’s more,” Benji continues. “I talked to my friends about it and they confessed that everyone in my year thinks you’re hot. Ricky says it’s weird for him as he has already known you since he was little and he still thinks so.”  
“Wow,” Tori can’t help but make.  
Andre turns to Jade in amusement: “When we were in school, nobody dared talking to you and suddenly all the boys are after you.”  
“Ugh,” Jade makes. “I should’ve been meaner to him.”  
“He would’ve liked that,” Benji says. “They seem to be totally attracted to your attitude.”  
“What?”  
That’s finally Beck again. Tori only now notices how his face has hardened. And she promptly remembers how jealous he was back when his old friend Moose came to visit and showed attraction towards Jade when they were still teens. Welp, but this is different, isn’t it? Jade also loved Beck back then and wouldn’t have gone for anyone else, but now that’s even more true, no? Not to mention that they’re talking about boys Benji’s age. About teenagers, while they’re all 32 years old by now.  
Andre also looks at his best friend amused: “Why are you so shocked? You are as well and were with 14 already.”  
Yes, Beck is definitely attracted to Jade’s attitude.  
Beck responds: “She is my age though. They are 16.”  
“And Mom is only 32,” Benji easily throws in. “You know... I get it. Mom looks amazing. It just sucks that I now don’t know who actually wants to be friends with me and who only pretends to want to, so they can come over. But yeah... I won’t bring anyone over any time soon again.”  
Poor Benji. That’s Tori’s only thought. It must be awful to not know who your friends are because of... the way your mother looks. That’s also weird. Tori only now realizes that Benji’s friends are indeed in an age where they easily find adults attractive, which is weird as well because... well... Benji doesn’t seem that old yet.  
Beck’s thoughts wander somewhere else though and he finally decides: “You should bring them over.”  
Tori doesn’t understand the change of mind and mood in Beck. He just now showed that he disliked anyone thinking about Jade that way, and now he wants those boys doing exactly that in the house? Does he think that enough time with Jade will show them that they don’t want her after all?  
That’s not it though. Benji knows what he’s thinking and rolls his eyes, as he says: “You just want to make out with Mom while they’re here.”  
Really? Tori exchanges another look with Andre.  
Beck meanwhile says: “They should see...”  
What exactly they should see in his opinion, Tori’ll never find out as Jade interrupts: “Beck, you’re still such a child. Gosh.”  
Then she turns to Benji, reaches over, runs her hand through his hair and says, much more softly: “I’m sorry, baby.”  
“What about me?” Beck asks and that actually sounds like he thinks Jade should be sorry for him too. Which is ridiculous, considering the circumstances.  
At least that’s Tori’s opinion that she promptly states: “She shouldn’t be sorry for you. You are the one married to the wife everyone finds hot.”  
Jonas snorts in amusement while Beck almost glares at her. Well, okay.  
Jade rolls her eyes. “Every sixteen year old, which is also the age of my own son.”  
And though she says it annoyed, with the way she looks at Beck, Tori’s sure she means it to calm Beck down.  
Beck looks at her for a moment, before he gently says: “Everyone else it into you as well and you know it.”  
Jade rolls her eyes again, before they share a kiss.  
Only then Beck finds it in himself to turn to Benji and say: “I’m sorry too, Benji.”  
Their son doesn’t care all that much though. “It’s fine. Just expect me to be out a lot more in the future until Mom is... 60 or something. 70. 100.”  
Tori almost expects Jade to say that she’ll still be attractive then, so he will never ever be able to bring anyone over anymore, but instead Andre raises his voice again, noticing: “That’s so weird because it actually will get worse, won’t it? The older you get, the smaller the age difference will seem.”  
Huh. Tori never thought about that. But yeah. Benji already is half of Beck and Jade’s age. Every year that’ll pass from now on... Beck and Jade will have lived longer with him in their lives than without. 16 years of age difference are a whole lot when one person is 18 and the other only 2 years old. It’s not as much any more when one person is 31 and the other is 47. There are couples out there with an age difference like that or even bigger and it’s fine as long as both are adults – which Benji soon will be, legally at least.  
Beck also seems to only now think about it and he looks absolutely horrified.  
Jade appears annoyed once more, glares shortly at Andre for saying that, then: “It won’t. Beck, they’re teenagers. Teenagers are into any women with boobs. Get a grip. And remember that you just filmed kissing scenes with a pretty 20 year old.”  
Beck finally has a bigger acting role again. He hasn’t talked too much about it, probably also isn’t allowed due to his contract. But Jade certainly knows all about it – and it seems like he’s kissing a young woman in that movie. A woman that’s also 12 years younger than he is, by the way, which isn’t too unusual in that constellation.  
And without a doubt, Jade’s a bit jealous about it, because she remains possessive over Beck. Like he is over her.  
Beck looks at her in that certain way. In that certain loving way that Tori only got to experience herself when she met Jonas.  
Beck finishes Jade’s sentence: “Who doesn’t come close to you and it was for a role.”  
Jade shrugs but then, they kiss again.

 

Three months later, Jade’s filming for a TV show. She films mostly in the evenings which is why the children don’t see her all that much during the week, mainly in the mornings. But it won’t be for too long and Beck does fine taking care of the children in the afternoons by himself.  
Right now, he’s sitting in the living room. He has tried writing on a new script but isn’t able to at the moment, so he’s just watching TV, half asleep at times.  
It’s just when he sat up again and thought about getting himself something to drink when Benji comes into the living room.  
“Is Mom still not home?” the sixteen year old questions, upon seeing his father alone on the couch.  
“She texted an hour ago that it’ll take longer than expected.” She should’ve been home already otherwise which Benji obviously also knew. But something came up like it does with filming.  
Anyway... It’s close to midnight by now and Benji has to go to school the next morning. Beck and Jade both consider him old enough to know himself when to go to bed on a school night. They also let their other children mostly choose themselves – though they heavily advice with them, as they’re still so young, and have a certain time when they read them bed time stories, sing them lullabies and tuck them in.  
“Why are you still awake? You’re not waiting up for her, are you?”  
“Nah,” Benji answers, sitting down next to Beck on the couch. “I had a lot on my mind.”  
“Wanna talk about it?” Beck checks and he already knows the answer. There’s a reason why Benji sat down next to him after all and even said anything about it.  
Benji shrugs and then, slowly: “Spencer came to me this morning.” Spencer is one of his friends. “He and Josie were scared for her to be pregnant.”  
Time stops for a second for Beck. “What?” That can’t be true, right? None of Benji’s friends can actually live through what Beck and Jade did, can they?  
“Yeah,” Benji says. “I bought the pregnancy test for them because neither of them dared to do it. It’s negative.”  
Which is a relief to hear, but those tests can be wrong. That’s why Beck says: “She should still go see her gynacologist.”  
“That’s what I told her,” Benji assures him. “She made an appointment.”  
Beck takes a deep breath. That’s good. So everything is handled as much as it can be at the moment.  
“That made me think...” Benji continues while Beck’s thoughts are still with Spencer and Josie, who must be his girlfriend that Beck never met, wondering how their parents would react if she was pregnant after all. “You had me when you were my age.”  
Beck stops. That’s true. And that’s what Benji’s thinking about?  
“We did,” Beck confirms. “And while we strongly advice you to not have a child that early, we’re happy to have you.”  
“I know,” Benji easily says, because he does know. “But... Did you never think about abortion or adoption?”  
Beck looks at his son for a moment. Of course this question had to come up at some point. And he and Jade always wanted to be honest, so he’s also honest now: “We did. About both.” Benji has to know that anyway. He’s sixteen and knows that he wasn’t planned or anything. He must know there were thoughts about not having him after all.  
He does know that as well but that’s why he wonders: “How could you ever decide for me? I don’t think I could raise a child now.”  
“It took us some time,” Beck says honestly. “And it wasn’t a rational decision in any way. I don’t think something like that can ever be. But we couldn’t imagine you being raised by someone else, having you call someone else your parents. Luckily, our own parents stood with us.”  
Benji nods before he notices: “I remember you telling me they weren’t happy.” So it doesn’t sound like they adviced his parents to not give him up.  
“Oh, they weren’t,” Beck confirms. “Your mom and I also wouldn’t be happy if you would get someone pregnant at this age. But they promised to be with us, no matter the decision. As would we with you.” He finds it important for Benji to know that. That they also always have his back.  
“I know,” Benji says once more, before he asks interested: “So Nana watched me while you were at school, right?”  
Benji was barely two when they graduated from high school. Beck’s sure it got mentioned around Benji occasionally since then. They do still talk about Caitlyn’s hours that went back to normal as soon as Beck and Jade graduated, her collague who wanted to have the morning hours, being glad to get to his original afternoon and evening hours as much as Caitlyn was to get back to the morning hours.  
Beck answers: “For half of our junior and all of out senior year, yes. Luckily. She sacrificed a lot. They all did.” All their parents.  
Benji pulls his eyebrows together, looking at him. “And one of you stayed home with me for the first half of your junior year? And the rest of your sophomore year?” As Benji just finished his sophomore year, he’s of course easily able to do the math and knows that his parents also were in that year when they had him.  
Oh, doesn’t he know?  
“Your mom stayed home with you until spring break. Then we had you in school with us until your nana changed the hours at her job.”  
“Really?” Benji asks increduously.  
“Yeah,” Beck confirms. “We also took you with us every now and then after she did, when she was on her business trips and my parents couldn’t take time off of work.”  
Benji looks at him totally weirded out. He can’t believe him.  
Beck’s amused. “Don’t you remember Hollywood Arts at all?”  
He somehow would’ve thought Benji would remember a little bit of their old school and that it therefore would make sense for him that he was there regularly.  
He didn’t want to go to Hollywood Arts himself as he isn’t that into arts in that way. He knows how to play the piano, has more than a decent singing voice and still is in his school’s theatre group and has fun there. But he hasn’t got the same passion that his parents have for all of it. He does have passion, but more for languages and history and alike. That’s why it made no sense to send him to Hollywood Arts and Beck and Jade instead found another school for him. They’re already sure it’ll be different with Nicky. Nicky has even more passion for music right now than Beck and Jade had for acting at the same age – and they both think they were passionate back then. Meanwhile with Eli and Josh, anything can still happen. They do both learn the piano too at the moment and Eli wants to pick up the guitar as Nicky did and they like to play pretend, which could easily develope into interest in acting. Or not.  
“None from my own memory, only from your stories,” Benji answers though. “That’s so strange.”  
Beck ruffles Benji’s hair, which makes the teenager push him away slightly. “It was great. We had you around us the whole day and we loved it. We only needed another solution because you started to talk and crawl. It was tough suddenly not seeing you half the day during the week.”  
“I can’t even imagine. It was stressful, huh?”  
Benji means it. He understands it. That his father might say it was great having him in school but that it wasn’t always easy. And that it wasn’t easier not having Benji there when he was still so little and they had to miss him while they were in school.  
And Beck totally remembers everything being so stressful all the time, but with time passing... it doesn’t feel like it anymore.  
And in any case... with now raising three more children and also having three more children in their closest group of friends, not to mention him occasionally meeting friends of his children and the children of his cousins and alike... He can honestly say: “You always were a great child. Good to start.”  
That makes Benji smirk and Beck smirks back before he puts his arm around him and pulls him close. Benji lets it happen and leans into his father, who presses a kiss on top of his head.  
He can’t imagine how it would have been if they had Nicky that early. Nicky always had such a strong mind and unlike Benji they never could’ve taken him to school as soon as he started crawling or walking at all. As soon as he was able to move around by himself, he never would’ve sat through any class. He still barely is able to sit through his own classes nowadays.  
Josh also wouldn’t have been as easy because he’s so shy and unsure and Beck doesn’t think he would’ve just stayed with Caitlyn so much. He would’ve insisted on being with his parents or otherwise would’ve suffered so much that they couldn’t have stood it.  
Eli possibly would’ve been similiarly to Benji at that age. Maybe a bit louder, but also happier.  
Benji takes the compliment that Beck gives him with a wink and then it’s silent between them for a moment, before Benji asks: “How were you able to stay together with all that stress and being so young?”  
Does he think they stayed together? That makes Beck hesitate again, but he keeps being honest: “We did break up in between.”  
Benji pulls back from him. “You did?” He didn’t count on that. He thought his parents have been a couple since they knew each other.  
“Yeah,” Beck answers. “Never for long though. We also did before your mom was pregnant with you and we weren’t a couple that long until then, but still we broke up for a day or something in between. The last time when you were just one month old. For about three or four weeks.”  
“Really?”  
Beck nods and is almost amused that his son seems so shocked about it. So despite all the bickering and fighting he witnessed between his parents, he never saw their relationship as unstable as it seems.  
“As you said, it was stressful for us. We had a rough time. And you know how thick-headed we both are. We always were like that. But we finally learned from our last break-up. We loved each other despite it.”  
“You always did, huh?” Benji checks.  
Beck nods. “In a way.” Because that’s it. Not always like today, but yeah, gosh, Jade always was his dream girl in a way. And weirdly enough, he was Jade’s dream boy. How curious.  
Benji smiles and leans back into his father. He puts his arm back around his boy. He enjoys the feeling of him leaning against him. With him being sixteen, he isn’t looking for much physical closeness anymore.  
For a while it’s just that. The two of them sitting in silence, both getting interested in the TV program, when they hear the front door. Only shortly later, Jade walks into the living room.  
“Hey,” she says as she sees the two of them there, walking up to them.  
“Hey, babe,” Beck answers and they share a kiss. Jade then also kisses Benji on top of his head, before she asks: “What are you still doing up?”  
And he could tell about his friend Spencer too and the pregnancy scare he and his girlfriend had, but he decides, standing up: “Dad’ll tell you. I’m going to bed.”  
He knows his parents talk about everything. That doesn’t mean that each of them wouldn’t keep a secret for him from the other, but they wouldn’t like it. And he knows his father would like to tell his mother now what exactly he told them about the time when he was a toddler and alike.  
Benji doesn’t care. He knows neither will ever tell Spencer’s or Josie’s parents about their scare. It’s okay if they talk about it among each other.  
But it is indeed late and he’s tired and the questions in his head about how his life got started got answered, so...  
“I’ll go upstairs with you,” Jade says. “Are the others in bed?”  
The question goes to Beck who nods: “They should be.”  
And Jade of course needs to see them, to kiss them goodnight, which is why she wants to go upstairs with Benji. But she promises Beck: “I’ll be back.” Weirdly, it sounds somewhat sexual.  
“I hope so,” he answers with a smirk and Benji can’t help but roll his eyes as he leaves the living room. Sometimes his parents are... well... way too into each other for his taste.

 

It’s the middle of December. Jade has turned 33 the month prior, Beck will in the next month, while Nicky will turn 9 years old at the beginning of that same month.  
Nicky loves music and already talked a whole lot to everyone but especially Andre, who earns his money as a writer and producer in the music business, how to write songs. He thinks of lyrics and melodies all the time and it’s mostly still not very good but he’s getting there. Andre gave him the tip that it gets easier to think of songs and everything, the more instruments you know, so he has a whole lot of ideas which instruments he should learn, though he only knows how to play the piano and still has trouble with the guitar at this point. He just isn’t as much of a talent as he wishes to be – though Beck finds him to be as driven and passionate as Jade always was and he’s sure his son will find his way with those traits.  
Beck’s cooking for the family, when Nicky comes into the kitchen with a notebook and a pencil. He sits down at the counter, all businesslike.  
Beck watches him amused. Whatever this is about.  
Benji and Eli are up their rooms, Josh is out on a play date and Jade’s working.  
And this actually is about Jade, at least somewhat. Nicky asks, ready to write the answer down, looking expectantly at his father: “What do you love about Mom?”  
Beck didn’t count on that sort of question. But he’s quick to recover from the surprise and answers: “Everything.”  
“Ugh,” Nicky says, sounding so much like his mother. “I need a better answer than that.”  
“What for?” Beck wants to know.  
Nicky sighs, as if this conversation exhausts him, which amuses Beck more than anything. Then: “Have you noticed how many songs on the radio are abut love? I’ll write one of those songs too.”  
Okay, this is about another song he wants to write. Beck should’ve known.  
And while he feels charmed that Nicky immediately thinks of his parents’ love, of the love Beck and Jade have for each other, he has to say: “Why don’t you write about something you know? Andre told you that those make the best songs, no?”  
“What does Andre know?” Nicky says and Beck snorts in amusement.  
Well, okay.  
Nicky asks once more: “So, what do you love about Mom?”  
“Everything,” Beck also repeats himself, before he continues: “That’s what you should write into your song. There’s not one defining quality I love best about her or that’s the reason I love her.”  
That earns him a very sceptical look by his son and he decides to humour him. Why not say some of the qualities he loves about Jade? At least he few he can think of at the top of his head.  
“Okay. You know her smirk? I love that. I love how she generally looks when she’s amused and I love to make her laugh. I love the way in which she loves and how she protects everyone she loves. I love her darkness and her ambition, her voice, the way she moves, how she dresses...”  
He tries to find more words for... who Jade is. He knows he kept it quite shallow so far. Yes, he loves all that about her, but now it is mostly about her looks. There’s definitely more about her than her looks and well, her darkness and her ambition that he loves about her.  
But Nicky’s writing like crazy, his tongue stuck between his lips, and maybe this is enough for him.  
That’s why he asks: “Can you make a song out of that?”  
“Yeah, I think so,” the boy confidently answers, not looking up from his notebook.  
“Good,” Beck says, shortly ruffles the boy’s hair, before he turns back to the stove, Nicky still writing.

 

A day later Nicky finds Jade alone in the kitchen, making dinner for the family. Beck’s upstairs, playing with the twins, Benji’s out.  
Once more, he’s sitting down on the counter all business-like and Jade directly asks: “What’s up? Wanna help me make dinner?”  
“Maybe next time,” Nicky says. “Right now I want you to tell me what you love most about Dad. And don’t say something like that you love everything about him.” He won’t listen to that claim again.  
Jade looks at her son suspiciously: “Did he put you up to it?” Did Beck tell Nicky to ask Jade what she loves about him? Is he trying to trick her into saying something all mushy?  
Nicky looks appalled. “No. I wanna write a song about love.”  
Okay, that sounds like Nicky. And it’s sweet that he wants to write a song about his parents’ love. But...  
“Why don’t you write a song about platonic love? The way you love your friends or your siblings?”  
Nicky scrunches up his nose and thinks for a moment. Then: “That’s a good idea. But I already have ideas for this song, so...”  
“Okay, then,” Jade says, stirring the sauce, before she concentrates back on Nicky and tries to answer honestly because her son asked her a question and how can she not answer honestly? “What do I love about your dad?” As she tries to think of some specific quality, the script he finished yesterday which she got to read today springs in her mind, easily. “Well, I love that with just a few words he can make my skin crawl. He’s so kind and loving and protective but somewhere inside there, he knows about human beings and darkness, and he knows exactly how to put all the terrible things in this world into the perfect words. He finds beauty in darkness and he finds beauty in every day.”  
God, and how perfect is that? How perfect is Beck? She can’t imagine anything more wonderful than Beck’s whole being. Even just this fact about him... How he’s just so generous and kind to her and the children and yet, he’s so dark and... wow.  
Does she need to go on? How can she even? There’s just too much about Beck. There too much for Jade to be able to put into words, to be able to describe to Nicky what makes his father so perfect.  
That’s why she asks after a moment of silence: “Is that good enough?”  
Nicky’s writing everything down and shrugs while he does: “I guess.”  
If it wasn’t, he would outright say so, which is why Jade decides that she really doesn’t need to say any more about Beck.  
Instead she now tells her boy: “You know if you ever look for a partner, look for someone like that.”  
Nicky finishes up writing down what she said and looks up with a sceptical expression. “Not everybody loves what you love, Mom.”  
Jade smirks. “Only people with bad taste don’t.”  
That makes Nicky grin and Jade asks with a sudden thought: “Did you ask your dad about me?” Did he ask Beck why he loves her?  
“Yeah,” Nicky only says.  
“And?”  
“And what?” Nicky makes. “You don’t think I’m telling, do you? Ask him yourself.”  
Well, if he has to be like that...  
Jade shrugs. “I’ll just wait for your song.”

 

The thing is that there is no new song. Not that Jade gets to know of it and usually Nicky insists on singing the new song at least for his parents, but mostly also for his siblings. He’s usually quick, coming up with songs, but more than a week goes by without him mentioning the song again.  
Nicky has an electric piano in his room since his last birthday as that was his only and absolute wish for that birthday. He thinks of melodies there by now, plays them there instead of the living room though both his parents always loved to listen how he tested out the notes, tried different ones and strung them together.  
“Did you ever write that song about love?” Jade now outright asks Nicky.  
They played a board game, the whole family together, even Benji, who’s sixteen, turning seventeen in two months, who isn’t too crazy anymore about family time. But he even stays when they’re done with the board game and Eli and Josh have turned on the TV with one of their favorite shows – with Nicky complaining a bit about that show though Beck and Jade know that he likes it too and gets easily captured by it whenever his brothers watch it.  
Benji, as well as Jade and Beck now watch the series as well, Beck and Jade cuddled up as they are so often. Their children often join them cudding, lean against them too. Josh also does today, leaning against his mother’s legs that lie up the couch, while Eli sits on the floor watching, Nicky sits on the other side of the couch and Benji occupies the chair that once was Jade’s and that they kept throughout the years and even brought into this house with them, that once was Beck’s parents’ one.  
“I did,” Nicky knows to report. “The melody at least. I decided it doesn’t need any lyrics.”  
Beck immediately knows what this is about though he hasn’t known Jade got asked by their son about the song too.  
“Can we hear it?” he asks, as curious as Jade.  
Nicky tilts his head and confesses: “Okay, it’s not all done. I’m not that satisfied. But I can show you what I have so far.”  
Of course, his parents want that and his brothers agree too with Eli turning the volume of the TV down.  
Nicky sits down at the piano in the living room, scrunches up his nose like he so often does before he starts playing, what he does when he’s trying to remember stuff.  
And then he starts to play. It’s not a sweet and soft song. It starts out loud right from the beginning, he’s really going there with all the power of his still so small fingers. It’s a bit messy and disharmonic, but not in a bad way. And more often than not the different notes he plays with both hands (usually he does one note with each and is barely able to do more than one note per hand) fit together perfectly.  
The end comes quite suddenly and probably that’s also the part he’s still working on.  
But the rest? Beck and Jade are honestly stunned. It’s a great piece. And... well, it possibly describes their love better than their words ever did. How can an eight year old think of something like that?  
Benji’s the first to speak after Nicky’s done: “That was really really amazing, Nicky.”  
“Think so?” Nicky asks, a grin spreading over his face.  
“It sounded great,” Eli says and Josh nods: “Beautiful.”  
Nicky looks more than happy with that feedback and his look wanders to his parents who haven’t said anything yet.  
“Yeah, wow, Nicky,” Beck only knows to say and Jade adds: “Your best piece yet.”  
“And you both said I should write about something else,” Nicky reminds his parents with a wild grin.  
She smirks. “Well, what do we know? You obviously never should listen to us.”  
Though, honestly: He did write about something he knew and that’s what Beck told him to do. He didn’t write a romantic love song out of his own perspective, didn’t write about searching for the right girl which would sound ridiculous out of the mouth of an eight year old anyway. He instead thought of this song, thinking about what he witnesses between his parents.  
Benji asks his little brother: “Do you want me to write the song down for you?” Benji knows how to write down notes and every now and then, when he really likes one of Nicky’s songs, he offers him to write it down for him, so it’ll be there forever.  
Nicky’s eyes light up. “Yeah, absolutely.”  
Shortly after, both of them are gone, up to Nicky’s room, where he’ll probably try to repeat exactly what he played just now slow enough for Benji to be able to put it down.  
Eli turns the volume of the TV up again and he and Josh turn back to the TV.  
Meanwhile Beck turns to Jade and asks her quietly: “So he asked you about love too? What you love about me?”  
“He did,” Jade confirms and of course knows what Beck’ll ask next.  
Sure enough: “What did you say?”  
“Wouldn’t you like to know?” she replies with a smirk.  
And as Jade doesn’t seem surprised that Beck got asked too, he gathers that Nicky told her so, asking her about it second. He wonders: “Did he tell you what I said?”  
“He wouldn’t,” Jade honestly says.  
Beck smiles. “I wasn’t really able to tell what I love about you anyway. You’re just so perfect.”  
“Yeah, right,” Jade replies though that’s pretty much exactly what she thought when Nicky asked her. That she couldn’t put into words what she loved about Beck because, well, he was perfect.  
“You are,” Beck says, kissing her, then: “For me. And that’s so amazing and weird.”  
They kiss again.  
It is amazing and weird. Unbelievable.  
The thing is that they are so used to each other and to what they have. But whenever they stop and think about it, like they did when Nicky asked both of them that question about their love, they can’t help but be amazed. How can this be real? How can what they have be real?  
And under her breath, with their lips barely having parted, Jade whispers: “You’re perfect.”  
Beck pulls her into another kiss, before he breathes: “I love you.”  
“I love you, too.”


	18. Santa Claus and Being special

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, my dears!  
> This will be the second to last chapter. And I'm very happy I was able to do this fic so quickly as the first scene in this chapter goes along nicely with Christmas. ;)  
> Thank you to alicheriee for the lovely as always review to my last chapter! And now I already wish you all a very merry Christmas and an enjoyable read!

It’s Christmas Eve and as it’s tradition, Cat is visiting the Wests as Santa Claus.  
She has done that ever since that first time, on Benji’s second Christmas when he was one and a half years old. Her Santa is still the weirdest but the West children love it. As do Andre’s and Ruby’s kids and Ayla now too.  
Cat has started to visit the others families too since they have children – or they have all met up at the Wests on the evening of Christmas Eve when they felt like it.  
Cat almost missed last year because of her tour, but made it back in time and was more than happy about it. She loves this tradition.  
As do all the children and also her friends, honestly.  
Andre and Ruby are on vacation over Christmas this year, with both their girls, so they’re missing Cat as Santa this year, but Tori promised to send them a video. She and Jonas are meanwhile taking their three year old daughter Ayla to the Wests on Christmas Eve, for Santa’s visit.  
Santa gets driven tonight like last year by Trent who also joins the celebrations. Curiously, Ayla isn’t wonderng because of that. Everyone else long knows that it’s Cat but they’re playing along amused.  
Eli and Josh are already seven years old, Nicky is nine, soon turning ten, and Benji’s already seventeen and in his last year of high school.  
Ayla is the one allowed to open the door for Santa and Trent. The others already hear her giggle with glee when she sees Santa.  
“Ho ho ho ho ho,” Cat walks in with her in her arms, in her Santa costume. She pretty much invents a new ‘ho ho ho’ every year, which is as impressive as it’s weird.  
“Ho ho, Santa,” Benji responds, grinning. “Your sleigh’s still broken, huh?”  
As Ayla looked out of the window, she saw Santa arriving in Trent’s car. She already saw last year and didn’t care too much, but Cat still invented a story about how Santa’s sleigh broke down.  
“It’s not,” Cat now explains. “But it’s easier to get around through LA in a car than a sleigh.”  
Ayla looks at Cat curiously. “But your sleigh can fly.”  
Cat nods wisely. “That’s true. But flying gets boring too, you can believe that.”  
Ayla forrows her brow. She can’t believe that.  
But she directly gets distracted, as Cat puts her down and takes the sack that Trent carried inside. “I have presents for all of you kids,” she promises, sitting down on the couch, the sack to her feet, then pulling Ayla up her lap.  
As usual, everyone has to sing. Each kid gets to decide on a Christmas song which they all then sing, before Cat hands out a present to each of the children which they are allowed to open right away.  
Cat eats the cookies, Tori and Jonas baked with Ayla, and praises Ayla for how delicious she made them. Then, she gathers all the boys closer to her, as does she Ayla, and says: “Let me tell you a Christmas story. Once upon a time there was a woman with fire as hair and a man that was the funniest she ever met.”  
Beck, Jade, Tori, Jonas and Benji share looks. She’s undoubtedly telling a story about herself and Trent. Which she never has before. She sometimes tells stories after the Christmas songs. They are usually about what the reindeers are up to and alike. When Nicky was little, she claimed that there was also a Christmas duck, when Eli and Josh were smaller, she added reindeers that were twins and pretty much had personalities like they had themselves.  
Trent doesn’t join in with them exchanging looks, instead watches Cat with a smile, like he does.  
Cat continues, oblivious to the looks: “They were very happy with each other but some day they had a wish. To have a beautiful little thing that was a bit of him and a bit of her. And two days before one great Christmas they got to know that they indeed will have a little thing like that in July. A Christmas miracle!”  
The adults stare at her. Okay, they know what this is about. They can’t believe Cat is telling like this. But Nicky, Eli and Josh apparently understand as well.  
At least, Eli suddenly asks: “Are you pregnant?”  
Cat beams as she nods and promptly, the kids start to hug her in joy, seeing by her face alone how much this means to her.  
Both she and Trent get hugged by everyone and as Cat finally has Jade in her arms, she asks: “Don’t you wanna have another child?”  
“No,” Jade says in her usual harsh voice.  
Cat responds in a begging tone: “We could be pregnant together. They could grow up together.”  
She obviously can’t imagine anything more wonderful than her and Jade’s children growing up together. But as Jade’s youngest children are already eight years old and she’s only now pregnant...  
“No,” Jade repeats, still harshly, then a bit more quiet: “But your child is always welcomed with us.” As Jade’s children were always with Cat. Cat loves each of them so much and has loved them as soon as she knew about them. Jade has felt the same about Andre’s kids and also now about Tori’s first child. She knows she will especially feel that way about Cat’s children. How couldn’t she?

Cat’s only eleven weeks pregnant that Christmas, which most would consider too early to tell about it, but Cat’s excited and shares as soon as she can. She’s expecting the child on July eleventh.  
The next Christmas, she visits her friends as Santa Claus once more, with the baby strapped in front of her, not like Beck and Jade did with Benji back in school, but making it look more as if Santa was a kangoroo with its baby.  
The year after that, Benji takes it upon himself to dress up as Santa, visiting his parents’ friends and their children, including Cat. He plays Santa Claus almost as weird as Cat always did, as that also was the version he grew up with and fell in love with.  
Cat’ll take over again the task of Santa Claus when Benji has his first child.

 

Cat is overdue exactly a week, before she sends Jade a text at 3am, telling her that she went into labor and that Trent is taking her to the hospital and that she’s so, so excited.  
Jade always has her phone on vibrate, just in case, and while she’s certain that she wouldn’t have woken up by her phone vibrating before she had Benji, she has had a much lighter sleep ever since. That seems to be one of the prices that comes with having children. Or it did for her.  
She looks over to Beck, who also stirs, before she checks her phone and sees the message from Cat.  
She can’t help but smile. Oh, Cat. Somehow, it means a whole lot to her that one of Cat’s first thoughts went to her, Jade.  
Beck mumbles something that sounds like a question about what’s going on.  
If Jade wouldn’t have picked up her phone, wouldn’t have turned on the screen and therefore lighted up the room a bit, he most likely wouldn’t have reacted and would’ve directly slipped back to sleep. Heck, usually Jade would’ve only checked if Beck was still there, waking up by a small sound, would’ve listened into the dark for a bit longer to hear if one of her kids possibly needed her, before she also would’ve gone back to sleep, without looking at her phone, even if she would’ve known that was the thing waking her.  
Only instinct let her grab her phone this time and she’s glad as she directly gets to respond to Cat’s text: “Wish you strength and luck. Concentrate on yourself. And tell Trent that I’ll kill him if I hear any complaints by you afterwards about his support during the birth.”  
Only when she sends the texts, she answers Beck: “Cat went into labor.”  
As if triggered by the word ‘labor’, Beck awakes fully, opening his eyes, looking at his wife. “Does she need you to drive her?”  
Jade knows that Cat would’ve called in that case – Beck would’ve known too if he was fully awake after all.  
She shakes her head. “Just wanted to inform me.”  
“Kay,” Beck says, yawning.  
Jade receives another text by Cat at the same time that reads: “Trent says he knows. Oh, Jadey! I’m so happy!”  
Jade shakes her head with a smile, telling Beck: “Cat writes how happy she is.”  
“She knows it’ll be painful, right?” Beck dryly asks and as that was exactly Jade’s thought she has to smirk.  
“I won’t remind her now,” she decides which makes Beck snort, as she texts back to Cat: “I’m going back to sleep now. But I’ll come by with the family as soon as you allow, so our kids can meet.”  
Cat is quick in sending back hearts and Jade knows that her text meant a whole lot to Cat. Well, she’s the one talking about their children getting to meet all the time, as if that was the goal of life, your kid meeting the kids of your best friend, or something.  
Then, Jade finally puts the phone away again and Beck asks, his eyes closed: “Is she already close or will it take a few hours?”  
“Trent is taking her to the hospital now,” Jade responds.  
Both imagine that that means that it’ll still take a few hours until the child is born, though births can go so differently.  
Jade is lying back down when Beck suddenly says: “I remember how it went with our children.”  
Jade’s eyes get used to the darkness in their room again and she can somewhat see Beck’s face, his eyes sstill closed, and she smirks: “I remember how scared you were the first time.”  
Beck opens his eyes back up too and smiles. “Only the first?”  
Of course he doesn’t have a problem with being made fun of a little. And oh, how he was scared for the first birth. His face was white as a ghost as he got into the car in which Caitlyn and Jade picked him up from school on the way to the hospital.  
But yes, he was still scared for the second birth as well and only wasn’t for the third as it all went over too quickly and he could only be worried if he was able to make it to the hospital in time.  
Jade can’t help but lean over to Beck, kissing him. The births of their children were messy and painful as heck, but at least Beck was with her.  
They kiss for a while and only after that, after drawing back from each other, Beck asks: “Can you imagine having an infant again?”  
Jade needs a moment, then: “You’re not asking me to have another child, do you?”  
She loves the life they’re living at the moment. They have four wonderful children who get more independent by the day and both their careers are going well.  
If Beck would ask her to have another child now... She doesn’t think she could agree to that. But what if it was a deep wish of Beck’s to have a fifth child?  
Luckily, his answer is quick and direct: “No. But that’s the crazy part. We’re only 34. There would be a few years to have children. But... I’m happy the way it is.”  
So his question was more unbelieving, not being able to imagine being Cat, having an infant right now.  
“Me, too,” Jade quietly answers. “And with having a child off to college soon...” It’s great the way it is. Their children are growing older and they don’t need another one.  
Benji truly is going off to college. Only in about a month he will move into the dorm rooms of the University of Southern California. Well, at least he’s staying in the city, even if he’s moving out of his parents’ home. He’s taking a whole lot of journalism classes. That’s what he wants to major in. Beck and Jade can’t believe how well that choice fits for their first born, though they never thought about it until Benji came up to them a year ago and asking them if they could imagine that for him and if they would support him in that choice. That was a ridiculous question. They support him in every choice and he knows that.  
Beck laughs lightly about Jade’s comment. “Gosh, don’t remind me. I don’t know how we’ll survive without Benji home.”  
Jade knows that feeling. “Make sure that he won’t see me cry over it.”  
She isn’t a person that easily cries. She was for Benji’s pregnancy and when he was just born. Things also made her cry a bit easier when she was pregnant with the twins. But at any other time, she has never cried easily.  
This is a big thing though. Her first baby boy leaving the house, leaving the family, for college... He’s really growing up and heck, yes, that thought might’ve already made her cry one night with Beck holding her tight. She can imagine her also being close to tears when they actually move Benji out of the house and into the dorm rooms. And she so doesn’t want that.  
“He wouldn’t mind,” Beck mildly notices.  
Benji certainly wouldn’t. It would possibly confuse him, seeing his mother cry, but why should he mind?  
“Ugh,” Jade makes though. “I don’t want to be THAT parent.”  
The kind of parent that can barely let go, that cries when they have to. She kind of is that kind of parent but... well...  
Beck smiles at her, like he does, with all that love, before he pulls her into another kiss.

 

Cat has her own baby boy roughly five hours later that day. A boy named Maddox.  
When Jade gets to hold him that very same evening, she already has to fight back tears. She remembers Benji this small and now he’s standing in the room with her, looking so much like his father, being so grown up, and how can that be true?  
Roughly a month later, they move Benji out. Jade holds it together and Benji hugs the whole family for a long time before they leave him at the dorms, driving back to their home that still is Benji’s but that one day won’t really be anymore.  
It’s not as hard as Jade believed though. Benji texts with the family and calls all the time, not to mention that he comes by regularly.  
Jade just now talked to him again on the phone, at the end of September. Benji had to vent about one of his classes and chose Jade to vent to, which might make her happier than she would ever care to admit. After all, he also has enough friends.  
Jade’s at home today, as is the eight year old Eli since he came from school.  
Jade cleaned up the kitchen during the call, now she came back to the living room, where Eli must have sat down while Jade was in the kitchen. She would’ve put the phone on speaker and have him on the call too if she knew he was downstairs. He was in his room before. Now he’s reading, sitting on the couch.  
Jade sits down on the couch too, taking her script up again. Next week, she’ll start shooting the new season of the newest show she booked and they got the first script for it this morning, on a Thursday.  
She read through it twice already and now wants to look further into it, understand her character in it better, maybe already learning a bit of the dialogue by reading it another time.  
She doesn’t get to take another real look into the script as Eli interrupts: “Mommy?”  
Something is wrong. Eli is eight years old. He usually doesn’t call her ‘mommy’ anymore, except when he’s very very sleepy. His twin brother does every now and then – and Nicky does too but he does it sarcastically or to his mock his younger brothers.  
“Yeah, sweety?” she responds, putting her script back on the couch table, turning to Eli.  
The boy has put his book down too but he doesn’t look at her and doesn’t say anything for a moment.  
“What’s going on?” she prompts him.  
Eli still doesn’t look at her and after a while, he shrugs: “I don’t know. I...”  
He bites his inner cheek. Something must really trouble him.  
Then, finally: “Am I special?”  
Jade blinks. What kind of question is that?  
She lies her hand on her boy’s cheek, turning his face, so she can get a good look. That also makes his gaze wander up to her face, as she says: “Of course you are. Did someone tell you you aren’t?”  
She’s so ready to kill as soon as Eli would confirm that someone told him so. Nobody is telling one of her boys that they aren’t special.  
But Eli’s answer comes quick and is definite: “No! But...” He hesitates. “I don’t know. You... You adore Benji because he’s your ‘baby’” – he actually does airquotes for that – “and your oldest and everything. Nicky is the cool musician.” – If Eli wouldn’t look so serious, if he didn’t mean this, Jade would’ve laughed. Yeah, Nicky is oh so cool. Well... Maybe he is for a ten year old, which isn’t actually cool at all. He is a musician, even started his first band now, which is a mess but that’s neither here not there. – “Josh is... the artist in every other way and... I’m nothing.”  
Josh is an artist. All their children kind of are, all find comfort in art in one way or another. Benji makes music and writes stories in his off time. Nicky makes music and writes it too. Eli himself makes music and was in a play at school just a month ago. Well, but Josh wasn’t only in that play, he played the main part. He makes music and comes up with stories all the time and he paints beautiful pictures for his age.  
But whatever Josh is... What does it matter to Eli? How can he ever believe he’s... nothing?  
Jade runs her hand through his hair. “Firstable: All of you are our babies but we thought we couldn’t call you baby number three or something.”  
That was supposed to make Eli at least smile. He understands jokes like that. But obviously he doesn’t feel like it right now.  
She continues: “Second of all: You’re extremely special.”  
Eli doesn’t believe her. “I’m not the best at anything!”  
“That’s not true,” Jade immediately answers. “Not to mention that you don’t have to be the best at anything. Nobody ever is.” There’s always someone who is better than you at the thing you’re best at. That thought frustrated her to no end as a child, while some people take that thought as comfort or even to motivate themselves.  
“But compared to the others!” Eli desperately says.  
“To your brothers, you mean?” Jade makes sure she understands right. But she knows that’s what Eli is thinking about. He did just mention all of his brothers. And while she never felt competetive towards her own brother, Jasper, she knows a lot of siblings do.  
Jade leans down, drops a kiss on top of his head and puts an arm around him, pulling him close. “Oh, Eli. It’s not a competition. But you know what? You’re the one out of your brothers and yourself who does the best in school.” Which is true.  
“Josh does just as well,” Eli says with a sigh.  
Which is also somewhat true but only because: “You help him a whole lot and you know it.”  
Josh is a dreamer, always in his head. He was that way already as a toddler, so much quieter than Eli, or Nicky or Benji at that age. Beck and Jade assumed he would grow out of it, but he still doesn’t pay too much attention as he’s always elsewhere with his thoughts.  
He’s still only eight years old. It can still change. But it doesn’t have to as Eli makes sure that his twin brother catches everything important for school and alike. It’s not like he does Josh’s homework for him but he helps him with it. Without his parents ever having asked him to do it. Eli loves to do it instead and Josh lets him more than he ever would his parents. Josh is always open for advice and lessons by Eli.  
Eli is a great brother. They all are really good together which Beck and Jade both feel very blessed over because they know it’s so dependent on the characters of your children, next to age, how well they get along.  
Eli also is effortlessly doing good in school.  
The boy checks with a furrowed brow: “Wasn’t Benji as good?”  
When he was the same age as only that’s somewhat compareable.  
And that means that Eli understands that he helps Josh to do as good as he does. And that he assumes that Nicky didn’t do as well when he was two years younger. Well... He didn’t. Not because he isn’t smart. He just doesn’t care about school all that much. He never has. He goes to school to meet his friends and have fun, not for learning.  
Which doesn’t mean that Nicky is doing terribly. He’s doing fine – but not as good as Eli. Or Benji. Or Josh.  
“Benji did good in school,” Jade responds honestly. “But it wasn’t as easy for him as it is for you. It’s different.”  
Eli doesn’t say anything to that. He seems to think about it. Jade doesn’t know if that’s a good sign or a bad one, if he’s understanding that he’s as great as his brothers or if he’s thinking of more reasons why he isn’t.  
And as art is so important in their family, she has to add: “Don’t forget that you’re also creative and talented in different arts.” Eli should never feel like he doesn’t belong because he isn’t as much into arts as his brothers or isn’t as... talented in them.  
“Not as much as the others,” Eli grumpily responds.  
“And you don’t need to be,” Jade responds because he so doesn’t. It’s not like she or Beck find it important for their children to be as into arts as they are. Heck, their parents also weren’t, so it’s more of a surprise that their children are. And, well, if that might calm him down... “Or as your grandpa would say: Arts are stupid anyway.”  
Eli looks at her, almost offended. “Grandpa would never say that.”  
Her father always behaved well enough around her children. They all have a good relationship to him. But Eli, yes, he’s closer to her father than any of the others, in a way. He seems to find his grandfather’s cold demeanor the easiest to deal with, with Benji, who finds everything and everyone easy to deal with. Jade sent the twins over to her father’s and stepmother’s place just last week and when she came to pick them up, Josh was playing a game with Stephanie, her stepmother, and the dog they have, while Eli was in a long discussion with her father about nothing really, just exchanging opinions and the boy learning about the world from the man.  
“Oh, you didn’t know him when I was your age,” Jade says with a smirk.  
She remembers how terrible her father was at times. But she knows he always only wanted what’s best for her – even if he insulted her on the way. Well, she already knew how to insult him back when she was Eli’s age and was able to hurt her father with just a few words. She prided herself on it. She still does pride herself on the ability to use words like that with all people, even if she doesn’t use it anymore.  
Eli doesn’t understand. “Didn’t he like art?”  
“No, not at all,” Jade answers honestly. “And he hated that I chose to be an actress.”  
Eli looks weirded out at that and Jade’s almost sure that he will discuss that at length with his grandfather when he sees him next. For now, he settles on: “But it turned out great.”  
Jade has to smile. It’s good that her son sees it like that.  
“It did,” she confirms. “And your life will too. Just follow your passion, wherever it lies at the time. It doesn’t need to be in anything creative. And you don’t need to have found it yet.”  
Eli looks at her for another moment and then he hugs her. She hugs him back tight, had her arm around him before anyway. She’s glad that she apparently calmed his fears, that he feels better now.  
“I love you, Mom,” he says after a moment.  
And there’s no sweeter sound. There’s nothing better than this. Your child in your arms, telling you they love you.  
She smiles as she responds cheekily: “I love you, too, Elijah, my little baby number three.”  
That finally makes Eli laugh again.

 

It’s the middle of January. It’s still about a week to Beck’s 35th birthday but as all the friends are in town and everyone has time, he invites their old group of friends out to eat. He also planned to invite the partners but neither Beatrice nor Trent had time and somehow, Cat and Tori had the idea to just be in their old group of friends. They plan to go into a bar afterwards, stay together and drink, and decided the partners could join them. That’s Ruby and Jonas, but also Beatrice later that night as she only didn’t have time for dinner.  
That’s how they do it and they have such a great time. They reminisce about old times, high school mainly. Then they also catch each other up on recent events of their lives and Cat has to show them all the photos of baby Maddox, which she hasn’t sent already. Maddox isn’t even half a year old yet and of course everything for Cat. Though when she’s done showing him off, she also asks for pictures of the other children and they all do show some.  
Tori behaves weirdly... cagey, when she shows pics of Ayla. She already did before, really, when she cooed over little Maddox.  
When everyone puts their phones back in their pockets, Tori slowly starts: “As we’re on the topic of children...”  
She only stops for a moment and then also doesn’t get any further as Andre already asks, positively excited: “Are you pregnant?”  
A wild grin spreads on Tori’s face. “Yes.”  
“Oh, yeah!” Andre makes. “I thought so but didn’t want to say anything. Congrats!”  
They all hug Tori, everyone being absolutely happy for her. She confesses that she’s already quite far along, will already have her second child on the 25th of June.

After dinner, they go the bar as planned and still have an amazing time. Beck and Jade are tired though and still get home around 10pm. They also promised Benji to not be out for too long.  
Benji’s watching his brothers tonight. They don’t need that much supervision. Eli and Josh are eight years old and Nicky’s eleven. Nicky sometimes has crazy ideas but usually, all three behave well. Beck and Jade still consider it being good if someone older is with them during late evening, when the sun already set.  
Benji is extremely responsible with his eighteen years of age and without a doubt always able to watch his brothers. He was also willing tonight.  
Beck and Jade find all four of their boys on the couch. They’re relaxing there and must have for hours. There are drinks and snacks everywhere, on the table, on the couch and on the floor. There’s watching a movie that must’ve taken some time to pick because they don’t necessarily have the same taste in movies. Though Benji with his eighteen years will have agreed to what the younger boys decided.  
But it’s not like it’s that easy between Nicky and the twins, especially Eli.  
They all are looking extremely content and comfortable, spread over the couch, partly leaned into each other.  
“Oh, you’re back home already,” Benji says.  
Eli shushes him, barely having looked at his parents, otherwise captured by the TV.  
“We told you we wouldn’t be out for too long,” Beck responds and Eli also shushes him.  
“You made quite a mess,” Jade notices.  
And suddenly, Nicky cuts through, with a harsh voice: “Can you just...” Jade’s sure to hear a ‘shut up’ in the air, but Nicky pulls himself together and continues instead: “be quiet for three more minutes? The movie is almost done.”  
Beck and Jade share a look and well, they didn’t realize their boys were that into the movie and that they were interrupting the end of it that seems suspenseful.  
They shrug and for a moment silently wonder if they should start cleaning up – but the noises and them walking through their line of views and everything would disturb their sons while watching the end of the movie. Not to mention that the boys made the mess and should help clean up.  
So Beck lets himself fall on Jade’s old chair, while their children are spread out on the couch. Without a doubt, they would make room for their parents but Beck is happy to sit down on the chair, knowing for Jade to sit down closely with him then. Which she does, finding her seat right next to him on the chair, lying her legs over his lap.  
They all watch the ending of the movie and directly afterwards, the boys talk about how they didn’t count on that ending, what they would’ve thought and maybe even would’ve made more sense. They’re still talking about it when Jade says that they should all clean up and also while they then clean up.  
They’re done talking about the movie at the same time as they are done cleaning up.  
It’s only then that Benji says: “Sorry for the mess.”  
“Don’t worry about it,” Jade says. “You all did help to clean up just now.”  
Beck agrees with a nod. “And it’s great that you had a good time.”  
It is indeed great that they had a good time and didn’t fight all night or something. And it’s not like they’re usually always leaving their mess around. Especially Benji cleans up behind himself. And the other three also aren’t as bad as they could be. Especially as they still almost always clean up when their parents ask them to. That’s enough for them.  
Benji nods about them having a good time, before he claims though: “I can’t believe you raised me when you where as old as I’m now.”  
He makes it sound as if it was a stressful evening for him. On purpose of course. He wants to tease his brothers who also understand. With them relaxing like that together on the couch, the evening must’ve gone well enough. Though yes, Benji was responsible of course and that alone can feel like stress.  
“Well, you were only one, not three,” Jade responds with a smirk.  
Benji nods again as if that was something to think about, then: “And I must’ve been way cooler than these three.”  
Nicky shrugs and says in that casual voice that Jade can’t help but love: “But you grew up to be a huge jerk, I guess.”  
Beck and Jade are both amused by the easy come back, but they don’t appreciate their sons outright calling each other names and therefore also call Nicky out on it now, with his full name, like they do in cases like this.  
Nicky rolls his eyes a bit but doesn’t say anything else.  
Benji meanwhile smiles and says: “Well, on that note, I think I can leave.”  
And he turns to Nicky first: “I still love you.”  
He kisses his temple and Nicky answers: “Love you.”  
Beck and Jade share a quick smile. They might have taught their children how to call each other names and how easy it is to fight over everything – but they also taught them that you can still love each other and even say so, they guess.  
Benji also kisses Eli and Josh and tell them that he loves them, before he hugs Jade for a goodbye.  
“Why don’t you stay the night?” Jade checks.  
She would love to have her oldest son home for the night, to have him eat breakfast with them, all sleepy and just... at home.  
But Benji shakes his head as they break apart. “I still want to go to Gabe’s.”  
Jade can’t believe he’s still going out. She never went to one of her friends’ anymore when it was already after half past 10 pm. It will only be 11 pm when he arrives at his friends’ place.  
Well, but Jade realizes the next second that she pretty much always had a child. When others got into an age where you start to go out to party, she already had Benji. She had him all through college. She was too exhausted to stay up late most nights. And when she stayed up late and even went out, she went out earlier. She tucked Benji in at best and then went out to use the time she had – before she was too exhausted again and needed to go to bed. Before she had to take care of her son again.  
Well, Benji should use the time he has. He’s in college and should have the full experience that his parents were denied. And that they denied themselves because even when their parents took Benji, they usually got home early. Just like they went home early today, though Benji was willing to watch his brothers as long as needed, probably would’ve told his friend then that he wouldn’t come by after all. They just know they need to be fit again tomorrow, for work, for their kids, for everything. And they love to not have to directly fall into bed as soon as they’re home, but that they instead still will have a bit of time just the two of them. They always loved that.  
Anyway... Benji continues: “But how about I come by next weekend again and stay all of it?”  
“We’d love that,” Jade says.  
Beck agrees as he hugs Benji goodbye as well.

 

Tori has her second child, a boy named Gavin, on the 25th of June. Beck and Jade take all four of their kids on the weekend a few days later to visit. The four year old Ayla introduces her little brother proudly and they all get to hold Gavin sooner or later.  
When it’s Benji’s turn, he promptly turns to his parents with the boy in his arms. “And? How do I look with an infant in my arms?”  
They got to know on the ride here that Benji and his new girlfriend are already quite serious. It’s only his second girlfriend. He has dated around after he broke up with Evelyn with only 16 years of age but never got exclusive with the few girls he dated. He’s now 19 and has a girlfriend for one and a half months. And as he’s told them now, she’s already sleeping over at his place and he at hers.  
Beck and Jade couldn’t help themselves and directly told him to remember to protect which made Benji roll his eyes and the eleven year old Nicky make noises as if the thought of Benji needing to protect at all was disgusting for him.  
Of course, Benji finds it in himself to tease his parents now. As if he’s thinking about having a child of his own now, with Gavin in his arms.  
Jade glares at him as if her oldest would ever be serious about this. “It looks awful.”  
Beck says at the same time: “Don’t you get any ideas.”  
“Geeze, relax,” Benji makes with a smirk.


	19. Grown up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to the last chapter of this fic and this era, really! Most likely the last chapter about Benji and his family. ;) If I don’t get another idea about his life and still do a little one shot or alike.  
> Thank you for everyone who stuck with me through this fic (and possibly also the other two of this series) and for the kudos!  
> Have fun reading!

Beck and Jade are 39 when they get called to school for the twins. They have no idea what this could be about. They got called into school for Nicky, because he cut a few of his classes. But what could the twins have done?  
They claim they also don’t know when they ask them after they got the call. They are supposed to meet the teacher the next late afternoon when the kids are already back home. The twins are 13 by now, Nicky 15, they can stay home alone. And as the teacher, Miss Jennings, asked both of them to come if they can and they both do indeed have time, they drive to school together.  
They joke on the way that maybe the teacher wants to tell them how amazing the twins are doing, that they’re outright geniuses. They know that won’t happen, but they can’t imagine what else it could be, what the twins could’ve done. Especially as Miss Jennings explicitly asked to come for both Eli and Josh. She teaches both, but not in the same class. They barely have any classes together as Beck and Jade still made sure to have them seperate in school at least a bit. They know they won’t ask for that in high school. They can be in the same classes a smuch as they want at that point, also are old enough to know themselves if they want to spend all their time together, if they will each gain friends that way, if they need that or alike.  
But what could they have done with not being in the same class? Something must’ve happened during break.  
Both Beck and Jade do think their sons know very well what this is about. They know them inside and out and the way they looked when they got asked about it... Of course they knew. But Beck and Jade didn’t pressure them. Their teacher will tell them anyway.  
Miss Jennings waits for them in one of the classrooms. They sit down in front of her, all around the desk.  
Miss Jennings smiles at them after they greeted and introduced each other – they haven’t really seen each other in person yet. “I’m so glad you were both able to make it. It’s always good to see both parents care enough.”  
Okay, no, Jade is so not up for smalltalk. She isn’t here to chat it up with her children’s teachers. “Why are we here?”  
Beck puts his arm on the back of her chair, casually, but really to touch her, trying to keep her calm. If Jade already starts this talk annoyed... well...  
But Miss Jennings doesn’t take offend but readily takes a piece of paper from the top of her notes and shows it to the couple. “It’s about this test.”  
They both take a look, while Beck already asks: “What about it?”  
He already notices Josh’s name on the top of the test. But it’s not fully his handwriting on the rest of the test.  
Miss Jennings explains: “I surprised Joshua’s class with this and he needed to go to the restroom right away. He wrote this test after he got back but when I read it I noticed that this isn’t his usual handwriting. It also doesn’t look too much like Elijah’s but when I asked Mr. Teller if Elijah was in his class at the time, he told me that he also went to the restroom early in his class. He remembered that he lectured the class about using the breaks to go to the restroom when Elijah was back as it happened more often lately.”  
Beck can’t believe it. Gosh, no.  
His eyes find the B Miss Jennings has written at the bottom. She apparently corrected the test anyway, maybe because it took her a while to notice or she wasn’t too sure at first, had time to grade it and only asked Mr. Teller afterwards.  
And while Beck doesn’t know what to say or how to react, Jade already asks sharply: “What are you implying?”  
That actually makes Miss Jennings look unsure. She didn’t expect that. She explains: “Elijah has written this for Joshua. Who knows for how many more tests they have switched.”  
Beck doesn’t even want to think about that.  
“You are not serious!” Jade meanwhile says.  
Miss Jennings is young and not too experienced with parents who don’t accept their children being in the wrong – though those are most parents.  
That makes her even more unsure now, but she still argues: “Joshua isn’t doing as good orally as he is on written tests.”  
Okay, that’s true. Because Josh is always dreaming in class, he isn’t attentive. He works hard at home to still be good in tests. With and without help. He isn’t dumb. It’s just hard for him to be attentive for a long time, especially in school with everything else going on and with every action of his classmates activating his fantasy in one way or another.  
They thought about getting him professional help a lot lately. They chalked all of it up to him being still so little in first and second grade. Some children need more time to get used to school. But it never got that much better.  
He says he’s fine though and that he doesn’t feel burdened by... his short attention span or whatever it is. He wants to do it by himself and that’s why they let him try. They do tell him that it’s no shame to get help as soon as he wants to. They just also don’t think it makes sense to force him into it.  
Anyway... To now use his difficulties in class against him though he tries so hard... Beck has to say before Jade can get all worked up over it: “An issue we are well aware of and he tries to work on it.”  
Jade promptly adds, in one of her harsher voices: “And we don’t appreciate you alleging our sons of cheating, just because they needed to use the restroom at the same time once.”  
Though it isn’t just them using the bathroom, obviously. It’s the handwriting too. Gosh, and yes, it isn’t Josh’s. And Beck’s sure it could very well be Eli’s. Just a few months ago all four of their children tried out how well they can write like each other. They started talking about it because Benji told a story about a forged last will. They all tried to imitate the others’ handwriting then – and their parents’ (which Nicky was frightingly good at, especially forging each their signatures; he promised he never used that skill before though he was aware of it).  
This sort of looks like how Eli tried to do Josh’ writing.  
But Beck won’t say it. He won’t tell Jade that the teacher has to be right. Jade has to know anyway, right? But if Miss Jennings still is unsure... Well... Beck knows Jade will protect their sons at all costs. And honestly... As nobody got hurt and he wants to believe this is a one time thing, he’s with her on that. The school doesn’t need to know, they don’t need to confirm Miss Jenning’s thoughts. They will talk to the twins first, give them a chance to explain. And depending on how they will react and if they confess that they did it before, they might tell the school or not.  
“It’s too much of a conincidence,” Miss Jennings says, but Jade promptly asks: “Do you have proof?”  
Jade must also know that Miss Jennings won’t get an expert assessment on whose handwriting this is. And that means she doesn’t have proof.  
But maybe this isn’t how they should play it. Maybe they will provoke Miss Jennings into telling the director if she hasn’t already. As they talk to her and not the director, they’re sure she hasn’t told yet. The director is quick to interfere and taking it on himself to do it right. They had already talks with him because of Nicky.  
“You know what?” he therefore says with a charming smile. “We will talk to them and make sure they’ll never ever switch places in school – again if they have done it before. Thank you for bringing the issue to our attention.”  
He stands up as he says so, marking this the end of their conversation if Miss Jennings wants it or not. This way she can’t get any more ideas about proving anything or alike. And she shouldn’t get aggrevated with him explicitly thanking her.  
“I could suspend them for this,” Miss Jennings still says and yes, Jade wants to say something to her all angrily.  
Beck quickly puts his hand on her arm and in the same moment starts pulling her up from the chair. Trying to calm her down and get her to come with him to leave at the same time.  
He notices how hard her face is and how she does everything to hold back.  
He meanwhile says: “Thank you for letting us handle this. Can we take this with us to confront them?”  
He points to the test and Miss Jennings nods. Beck has already noticed that she has also made a copy of it which she keeps with her things. It’s okay. He honestly wants to have it to confront their children with it, not to destroy the only proof she might have.  
They say their good byes – Beck and Miss Jennings, while Jade leaves without another word, but with the test in her hand.

They walk to the car without a word and only when they are inside with the doors closed, Beck says: “You know that they did it.”  
“Of course they did!” Jade immediately answers. “What were they thinking? Idiots!”  
“What if they have done it before?” Beck questions. He doesn’t want to think about it, really, but they have to. They have to deal with it. They learned that they have to deal with difficult stuff too when they were 16 and had Benji.  
Jade shrugs and easily says: “Then they’ll have to live with us sitting next to them at every one of their tests until graduation.”  
Beck snorts. “I think we would only have to do that once and they’d never do it again.” He can’t imagine how he would’ve felt if his parents came to school with him and would’ve sat next to him.  
Jade smirks. “Sounds like a plan.”  
Beck grins and they share a kiss before he starts the car.

“Elijah! Joshua!” Jade yells up the stairs as soon as they’re home.  
They walk further into the living room where they find Nicky, but not the twins.  
“You, go to your room,” Beck promptly tells him.  
He’s watching TV and seems angry at the prompt at first. Then his curiousity gets the better of him though: “Why? Oh, are they in trouble?”  
He obviously also heard his mother yelling for the twins.  
“They might be,” Beck says with a nod.  
Nicky considers them for a moment, then he turns the TV off, stands up and leaves, while saying: “Don’t be too harsh on them.”  
Eli and Josh come in only shortly after Nicky has left.  
Jade points to one of the sides of the couch and that’s where the twins sit down while Beck and Jade sit down at the other end, facing their children.  
“What was your talk about?” Josh asks in his most innocent voice.  
“You have to know,” Jade promptly answers.  
“No,” Eli claims.  
Well, Jade won’t play this any longer. Beck also wouldn’t. She puts the test that has still been in her hand on the table. “You aren’t good liers, you know. Explain.”  
Neither Eli nor Josh seem too surprised. They share a look before it bursts out of Josh, fast as he wants to get it over with quickly: “She suddenly came with that test two weeks ago. I didn’t know what to do. It was all about what we learned during the last leasson and I... I didn’t listen at all. Everyone started writing and I didn’t know anything. So... I texted Eli under the table and then asked to be allowed to the restroom.” He takes a deep breath and bites the inside of his cheek for a moment, then: “We changed clothes and then... switched. He wrote the test for me.”  
Jade looks at them with her most threatening glare. “Have you ever done that before?”  
Josh hurries to say: “No. Never!”  
“Promise,” Eli adds. “We also didn’t want to do it then. But he was so scared.”  
“Why?” Beck questions. “We don’t need you to write all A’s or something.” He really doesn’t get why Josh should be scared about some test. Have they made the impression that they would be angry if one of them didn’t get a good grade?  
Josh actually does answer: “I was scared to get an F and detention.”  
“So?” Jade makes. “That’s what happens!”  
Beck nods, almost violently. He can’t believe this is even an issue. How?  
Eli comes to his brother’s defense, like he always does: “It’s not just that. He isn’t stupid! The test wouldn’t have shown his actual abilities.”  
“It would have,” Beck clearly answers. “It would have presented the knowledge he had at the time.” That’s what tests should be about, right? No, Beck isn’t kidding himself. You can fail in the school system though you’re smart and trying, because it just doesn’t work for you. But if it’s that what’s happening to Josh, they will deal with it. And if he just isn’t attentive in class, yes, he does deserve a bad grade.  
“I don’t want to look stupid!” Josh says and sounds a bit like a toddler throwing a tantrum. Though this is way more serious. He means it. It makes him anxious and he feels way too strongly about this.  
“Joshua,” Jade starts and somehow she manages to sound sympathetic and threatening at the same time. Beck doesn’t know how she does it.  
Josh interrupts her anyway, quickly: “I’m sorry. I’ve felt guilty ever since we’ve done it. We both did. And I was attentive in all my classes since.”  
That’s a statement. Beck believes him when he says he feels guilty. He looks like it. Eli does too. And now he claims he finally succeeds in being attentive which he never does for too long?  
Jade’s thinking about the future though and now says: “But it will happen again that you will get a test like that, all unprepared. You have to deal with it!”  
“I know,” Josh hurries to say.  
“And you,” Jade starts, turning to Eli. Yeah, he also deserves a talking-to, without a doubt.  
But now it’s on Josh to defend his twin: “He just tried to help me!”  
“That doesn’t matter,” Beck intervenes again, also turning to Eli now: “Help him in supporting him, not in doing his things. Elijah! Really!”  
“I’m sorry,” Eli says, looking down to the floor.  
For a moment it’s silent, then Beck decides, addressing Josh again: “If all of this gives you anxiety, maybe we should search for professional help after all.” If he’s so scared to look stupid but at the same time doesn’t manage to be attentive in class. It’s obviously not like he doesn’t care about being attentive. He wants to be but it’s hard and now he got so anxious about the whole situation that he cheated and pulled his brother into it as well.  
“Let me try one last time,” Josh begs though. “I think I found a way.”  
“What’s that?” Jade asks impatiently.  
Josh explains: “I approach it like acting. When I was in Eli’s class I had to act like him so nobody would notice. I did, was attentive all through class, also to tell him about what he missed later, and even raised my hand a few times.” Which he barely does in his own classes because he doesn’t listen enough. “That’s how I’m approaching my own lessons now. I pretend to be Eli. It works.”  
Beck and Jade share a look. Well, they are both immediately able to relate to that. They approach some things like acting. Jade did it for her first red carpet actually, when she didn’t feel too sure about all of it, the prospect of just misstepping on the red carpet or saying something wrong in an interview or something. So she invented a much more self secure person than herself for the red carpet and easily glided over it. That’s what a whole lot of people do all the time, they realized when they talked about it one day, Beck and Jade. Even if many of those people might not realize that that’s what they are doing.  
Eli now interrupts again: “And I did research on the matter after he told me. It says if you make yourself behave in a certain way for a while, it will be easy at some point. So if he pretends in his classes that he is an attentive student and actually is because of that, he one day will stay that way without thinking about it.”  
“Oh, boys,” Jade makes with a sigh.  
Beck understands that sigh. It’s this mix of sort of being angry with them because of what they did but also being relieved that it isn’t worse and that they both already feel guilty and that they found a solution to the problem that resulted in their bad behaviour.  
“It’s good that you found a way,” Beck allows, though he still has to make sure: “But seriously: Have you ever switched places in school before?”  
“Not since kindergarten. It was an emergency,” Josh says.  
Jade shakes her head: “It really wasn’t. If you ever feel anxious and can’t handle it, have someone call us or something. Don’t switch places and cheat.”  
Both boys nod and... well, what else can they ask of them?  
Beck adds: “The next time we’ll tell school that you did it. For now, you’re both grounded. For a month.”  
While they both looked surprised and relieved when hearing that they’ll only tell the school the next time and therefore not this one, they’re still not happy about being grounded for a month, obviously.  
“Both of us?” Josh carefully asks after glancing to Eli. He isn’t asking for himself but for his twin brother. He sees what he did wrong, he doesn’t see how Eli is at fault.  
“Yes,” Jade answers without hesitation though and, almost mockingly: “Not that we only ground one of you and you switch and both of you can still go out seperately.”  
Eli and Josh share a guilty look and Eli says: “We’re really really sorry.”  
Jade nods and Beck decides: “You may leave.”  
The twins stand up but they’re not leaving right away. Instead, Josh is walking up to Jade and hugging her. Eli promptly decides that that’s the way to go right now and goes over to hug Beck. Then, they switch.  
It’s obviously to apologize and to say thanks for not telling school.  
And suddenly Jade says, over Eli’s shoulder to Josh, who’s still in Beck’s arms at that point: “But I have to say: It’s great that you found a strategy to handle school in a way that you find promising.” The kids break apart from them and Jade turns to Eli: “And that you managed a B in a class you’re not in on a test you came in late to write? Seriously?”  
“Impressive,” Beck also confesses and both boys have to smirk in that same way like their mother does.

o  
O  
o

The new year has started. Nicky will turn 16 in a few days. Beck will turn 40 at the end of the month. Jade already did in November and they had a somewhat big party for it.  
Eli and Josh are 13 and Benji is 23 and is visiting master classes in journalism while already working for a new political online paper, for which he has travelled through the US and even to Mexico by now.  
He has his own one room apartment close to the university and his door is usually open for his brothers. Nicky used it today and is now spread out on Benji’s bed and telling Benji all about what happened between their parents and him.  
Benji’s sitting at his desk, working on his first article of the year. Or not, as he’s now listening to his little brother vent.  
Somehow, Nicky’s always able to ask their parents for the exact things they don’t want to let him do. Their parents are quite relaxed and leave them with a whole lot of freedom. But Nicky wants to join his best friend Miles on a trip to his uncle at the end of the month. An uncle who lives in Boston, so on the other side of the country.  
Nicky has a band that his best friend and two others are part of. The others also want to come and Miles’ uncle organized them a gig in Boston. Which is pretty cool but their parents don’t want to let Nicky go.  
Benji doesn’t totally get it. Nicky will be sixteen by then. Benji was allowed to visit his relatives alone in Canada by then. He did twice when his parents didn’t have time with the younger kids to fly up there but wanted Benji to see the family – and Benji also wanted to visit the country his father was from.  
So it’s not like they don’t like the idea of a sixteen year old flying somewhere alone. Though yes, he was visiting family. Beck and Jade knew who would watch him there. They don’t know with Nicky. They don’t know Miles’ uncle. And don’t particularly trust Miles or his family – though Nicky gets the two of them more often into trouble than Miles does.  
But it’s a great opportunity for Nicky to get out, to play in front of an unknown audience. And Benji already offered to join Nicky, to be able to watch him. Which Nicky would accept. Their parents say that one of them would have to come, which Nicky doesn’t like at all. Not to mention that they say that probably neither will have the time. Which is mean and stupid. Benji gathers they just don’t feel good about Nicky crossing the country without them and staying with a stranger there. It must feel different than one of the kids visiting family in Canada. Though if Benji would join Nicky... it wouldn’t be any more dangerous, honestly.  
Benji told Nicky a few times by now that he should talk to their parents again, calmly. That he should argue and promise to call and everything and that the idea probably just came too suddenly for their parents. It got suggested to them New Year’s Eve and it only the third of January now.  
Nicky will still have time to persuade them and Benji’s sure that they’ll let him go under Benji’s supervision in the end. He knows their parents.  
But Nicky’s also annoyed by them in general at the moment, which doesn’t make a calm conversation any easier.  
It’s just that the family spent a lot of time together over the holidays and Nicky’s in that age where it just annoyes him. He celebrated New Year’s elsewhere but otherwise was home a lot.  
Nicky keeps on venting about every little thing, before sighing: “They annoy me so so much.”  
“I know,” Benji says with a smile. He picked up on that. “But just talk to them about that performance. I’m sure you can change their minds.”  
Nicky sits up on the bed, pulling himself back and leaning against the headboard. “Easy for you to say.”  
“What do you mean?” Benji asks.  
Nicky looks at him for a moment, before he shrugs. “You and our parents... it’s different.”  
Benji furrows his brows. He doesn’t understand what his little brother is getting at.  
Nicky seems confused at Benji’s face. “Did you never notice? You’re more like... It’s like you’re a team with them. Of course you can talk to them and easily change their minds. They respect you much more than they do me or Eli or Josh.”  
“That’s not true,” Benji immediately says. Their parents don’t respect any of them more or less. Just like they don’t love any of them more or less.  
“It is,” Nicky says though. “I mean... They still treat you like their child. It’s not like they see you as a friend or something. But it’s different. I always felt like it’s you with them and Eli and Josh with me if we had to split our family up in any way.”  
Benji blinks. He never thought about that. He doesn’t know if... he’s more on his parents’ side or his siblings’, so to speak. Huh.  
But... Well... He has to give something to Nicky: “I guess it is somewhat different. They had me when they were extremely young.”  
They still knew how it felt to be a teenager when he was one. They were immature teenagers when he was a toddler while they were in their twenties and somewhat mature when his brothers were toddlers.  
Nicky makes a gesture that’s supposed to say ‘told you so’. But his thoughts wander and finally he asks: “Do you remember them as teenagers?”  
It’s obvious that Nicky only now thought about it. He can easily do the math and knows that his parents had Benji early. Heck, he also already had a few talks with his parents about protection, ever since he started dating with thirteen. They alwas told him to not make the same mistake, as much as they love Benji and are happy to have him.  
But he never thought further about it. He never thought about the fact that they were indeed teenagers.  
Benji looks at him for a moment before he honestly says: “No, I don’t. I get so weirded out seeing old pictures.” Their father loves to take photos and already did back then. Benji has seen so many selfies of his parents and him as a baby. His parents still looking like children themselves honestly. It’s weird because: “They were always adults for me.”  
“They were my age!” Nicky calls out. That seems ridiculous to him.  
Benji gets that. Nicky himself knows that he’s still not an adult, though he’s fifteen and at that age you feel very much grown-up. Benji remembers that age very well. But when he looks at his little brother... God, is he young and such a child! And his parents were about this age when they had him. It’s unbelievable. It’s especially unbelievable that they really always felt old for him.  
“Yeah, I know,” he agrees. Then: “Can you imagine having a child now?”  
He can’t and he’s 23 by now. He even more can’t imagine Nicky having a child now. However their parents managed...  
“No,” Nicky also says. And then he asks: “Were they different?”  
Were they different than nowadays, as immature as they were? Well... Benji can’t remember too well. He’s sure they must’ve behaved differently. But he grew up with them and he doesn’t know.  
Though... “Yeah, I guess.”  
“How so?” his brother asks curiously.  
And honestly he says the one thing he’s sure to remember to be different: “They fought more when they were younger.”  
Nicky snorts. “They fight all the time.”  
Gently, Benji says: “I don’t talk about bickering.”  
“Oh,” Nicky makes. He understands what Benji means with that.  
They often make it easy and only call what their parents do ‘fighting’. Everyone does. Benji guesses many people think their parents are indeed fighting. They don’t, most of the time. Fighting is more serious for him.  
What his parents do is mostly bickering. That can also turn ugly from time to time, but it’s about really unimportant stuff. There never needs to be a solution or anything. Their parents bicker to let out their emotions about other things, because the other one can take anger from them, because it’s the way they are with each other. They can bicker for days, but that doesn’t mean that you won’t find them kissing in between or that you can’t count on them pulling themselves together when you need them. Their bickering can end from one second to the next without a real reason.  
Fighting is oh so different between their parents. Benji doesn’t think he has truly seen them fight for a long time. It’s once a year at best that they seriously fight because of something. And their fights are usually over quite quickly because they take care to clear the air between each other whenever they notice it’s something serious. They actually sit down and talk it out then until the issue is resolved.  
Benji seems to remember that it was different when he was smaller. Much more fighting and deep down he even believes to remember a fear of them possibly breaking up, which seems ridiculous now.  
“Yeah,” he now tells Nicky. “It’s not like I remember specific fights. I just remember that there was fighting and... that I was the kid in preschool teaching all the other kids the worst language possible.”  
It’s said jokingly and makes Nicky grin: “They have dirty mouths. I also was that kid.”  
Benji also has to smirk.

o  
O  
o

Benji turns 24 in March and the twins turn 14.  
It’s summer and the twins and Nicky are out a lot. Even all of them together with different friends. At the moment, even Eli and Nicky get along well enough. When they were younger, they sort of needed Josh or Benji or their parents with them to get along. Now they can go out together without problems which Beck and Jade are more than happy about. They love that their children not just love each other as siblings but also like each other and like to hang out. Not only because it gives them much more time alone with each other, whenever they don’t have to work.  
Beck and Jade are eating lunch with Nicky, Eli and Josh right now. It’s Sunday and neither has to work. They’re planning to visit the theater though and now ask their children what they’re up to for the day.  
Nicky plans to practice with his band the whole day (well, the rest of the day; the whole family only got up for lunch just now). Josh wants to meet up with a friend later.  
“I’m going out tonight,” Eli then finally says. “On a date.”  
Beck and Jade share a surprised look. Very well. That’s the last first date one of their children will have.  
Josh had his first date a few months ago. Since then he has gone on three more dates, but nothing more, while Nicky is dating around very much and also already had two girlfriends with his sixteen years of age.  
And now it’s Eli’s turn. Well.  
“What’s her name?” Beck checks.  
Both Beck and Jade try to behave and not question their children too much about the people they hang out with and date. They remember how obnoxious that can be, especially Beck. But of course they’re curious and also want to make sure their children are safe. This also means that Beck’ll have that talk with Eli later, before he leaves for his first date. Just to be sure.  
Eli shares a short glance with first his twin brother, then Nicky, before he slowly says: “His name. It’s Adam.”  
For a moment it’s silent, then Beck shakes his head: “Oh, sorry. I didn’t mean...”  
He immediately feels guitly. Damn. He and Jade often just use ‘they’ when talking about potential partners for anyone, because it so doesn’t matter. But when Eli talked about that date he somehow just thought it’d be with a girl. It’s stupid to assume.  
“No,” Eli makes though. Apparently, it’s fine for him that his father assumed otherwise.  
Jade’s already over the slight surprise that Eli’s first date is with a boy. She’s hung up on the name of that boy. “Adam? As in... one of Nicky’s friends?” She doesn’t know another Adam about Eli’s age. Though Adam also is two years older, in Nicky’s age.  
“Uhu,” Nicky makes.  
Wow, Beck hasn’t counted on that. One of his sons dating a friend of another. Male or female really.  
“You knew?” he checks with Nicky. Did his friend and Eli ask if it’s okay with him?  
“That Eli is gay? No, not before he agreed to that date. Who cares,” Nicky says with a shrug. “That Adam is bi? Yes. And he asked me if I would mind if he asked out Eli. Which I didn’t, so...”  
Eli knows to report, almost with a blush – well, Adam might be his first requited crush then: “We flirted for a while, whenever we met with everyone.”  
Josh shoves his twin brother with a smirk: “You didn’t think it was flirting though I told you it was.”  
“Yeah, well,” Eli makes and grins happily.

Beck and Jade talk to Benji on the phone when the three teens are out of the house that evening. They’re already back from the theatre. They have the house to themselves for another hour and want to use that – only that Benji then calls and of course they have to talk to him first.  
They also tell him of Eli’s first date of course which he already knows about. Apparently, Eli called him after Adam asked him out and asked him if he thought it was weird for him to go out with one of Nicky’s friends. So, all of the kids were involved while Beck and Jade only got to know about the date right before it happened.  
“We’re getting really old,” Beck notices when they talk about that after the phone call. Though they’re only 40 years old. But for teenagers, without a doubt, that’s extremely old. And they don’t want to talk to them about stuff like this, about dating. Eli also acted as if was punishment when Beck sat him down and made sure to let him know that it wasn’t only important to protect because of the risk of pregnancies but also because of many deseased transferred through sex.  
Jade now easily says: “I just hope he’s really gay and not bi or anything else.” Nicky used the word ‘gay’ and Eli didn’t protest. That seems how he identifies as of now.  
“Why?” Beck asks her.  
They are in the bedroom, already went up before Benji called. They aren’t too sure when the kids will be back and better be safe then sorry. They don’t want their children to walk in on them having sex on the couch. So it’s the bedroom with a locked door, so there’s no risk.  
They’re lying on the bed, on their backs, as Jade answers: “Then I’ll be the only woman he’ll ever truly love.”  
Beck grins, as he’s turning onto his side to look at Jade. “That’s awful.”  
“Think about it,” Jade says, also turning into his direction with a big grin in her face. “He’ll love so many other men next to you but only one woman. Me.”  
“Now you make me feel bad about him being gay,” Beck claims though obviously she didn’t.  
She’s joking anyway. Also when she continues, though she pretends to be serious: “Now you know how I feel about the sexuality of our other boys. All of them might have another woman in their lives some day. You’ll finally get to know how it feels to be second best of your sex.”  
Beck shakes his head slightly while he moves closer to Jade. “I already know how it feels.”  
How could he? Yes, their sons of course also love their brothers. Maybe he means that.  
But he kisses Jade before he whispers: “You don’t only love me but our boys as well. So much.”  
So he knows what it’s like to be second best of your sex regarding Jade. Because Jade also loves their sons, not just him.  
Jade smirks. “Still jealous?”  
They share another kiss and into that, Beck confirms: “Mhm.”  
He sometimes still does feel jealous. How couldn’t he?  
Jade’s smirk gets wider as they break apart for a second. “Good,” she only says before she pulls him into another kiss, slowly pushing him down, pushing his back onto the bed while moving over him.

o  
O  
o

Nicky has graduated from high school and they moved him into another state. It hurts both their parents, though they already learned how to let go with Benji, who has his master in journalism by now, with 26 years of age, and is travelling a lot through the world, reporting on political issues in different countries.  
Nicky is taking business classes in college but mainly tries to succeed with his rock band that still consists of him and his best friend Miles, but otherwise got changed around a lot. They have three other friends in the band at the moment.  
Eli and Josh are also already sixteen and making plans for college. Josh wants to take acting classes like his parents did. Just like Nicky did and Eli does, he actually goes to Hollywood Arts. He also gets acting gigs outside of school, more than Beck or Jade back in time – but they also know more people in the business than their own parents and that makes it easier for their children.  
Eli thinks about taking teaching classes though he can’t decide on subjects yet. But he’s tutoring younger students already and really enjoys himself there.  
And right before they moved Nicky, Benji told them that he’s engaged. He got together with a young woman named Jane only half a year ago. Beck and Jade weren’t thrilled about the announcement of the engagement but when they said so, Benji used unusally harsh language to shut them up and they felt amazingly like Beck’s parents with Benji being Beck and his girlfriend being Jade. Well, they didn’t like that at all. And as Beck’s mother then took notice: At least they aren’t pregnant that earlier – that binds people much closer together than marriage does nowadays.  
Yes, okay. They guess they have to let this go. If Benji wants to marry her, he should. He totally is in love and they are happy to see it. If they will go through with that wedding, they’ll have a goot time, even if it might end rather sooner than later. And if it lasts... even better.  
But that makes Beck and Jade feel... sort of lost. Gosh. Benji is getting married and Nicky has started college far away from them and soon enough Eli and Josh will also be out of the house.  
They talk about it, when Beck is back from work a week after Nicky moved out. It’s Saturday and he has another acting job, for which he filmed two scenes before he was home again.  
They wonder if they’ll stay in the house that long feels like theirs. They both find it weird by now that Beck’s parents used to live here. Beck finds the thought weird that he grew up in this house himself and didn’t only raise his children here.  
They don’t know yet if they will stay in the house. They love it by now. And Beck’s parents gave it to them a few years ago. But what should they do with such a big empty house? Yeah, they get why Beck’s parents decided to move out.  
Beck also starts talking about the house being empty in general, only two kids being left in the house and them being out so much.  
Jade promptly tells him about the empty nest syndrome which she read about back when she was pregnant with Benji. Apparently, some parents feel like they loose all purpose when their children grow up and live their own lives. And it can even happen that relationships break apart because of that. Couples realize that they only stayed together because of the children, that they don’t have anything more in common anymore, after so many years.  
That’s what she tells Beck with a smirk: “We might find out that we have nothing in common.”  
Beck makes a serious face. “Yeah, sure. That can happen. I mean, we already know that you love acting while I can’t stand it. I love writing but you get disgusted by my stories. You love dancing while I prefer cuddling on the couch. You always drag me to the theatre though I don’t want to go and I force you to restaurants. And that’s like only the tip of the ice berg.”  
Yeah, okay. Obviously they have a lot in common. They still have the same passions, after so many years, still have the same taste all in all in stories and movies and alike.  
“See? Told you,” Jade says with a smirk and promptly moves over Beck, straddling his lap before kissing him.  
They’re in the living room, on the couch.  
Beck deepens the kiss, obviously enjoying himself. But as soon as Jade breaks away from him, he says: “Let’s not forget how much you love to jump my bones while I hate it.”  
Jade’s smirk widens. “Yeah, I see that.” Right, he hates it so much to have sex with her in any way. No. They still are damn attracted to each other. It’s weird because they changed so much. Their looks changed.  
They met and started to fall in love when they were fourteen. They are 42 by now. It’s unbelievable. 28 years and four children later and they are still very much in love and so into each other. Nowadays even more than back when Nicky and the twins were so small and they felt constantly stressed. They finally have time for each other again and they use it. It’s like they finally have their teenage years, sort of.  
Seriously, Beck asks her: “How about we do that again to make sure I still hate it?”  
Her jumping his bones. She smirks. “You wish. Show me how much you love it. Show me how much you love me.”  
And it’s the way she says it. The way she moves her body while sitting on his lap while she says it.  
It makes him swallow, yes, as if he was a teenager about to have his first time or something.  
“What’s with the kids?” he checks because he would love to just take Jade right here, on the couch. But he has no idea if the twins are home. And if they are, it can also be difficult in their very own bedroom, they had to be really silent because they also don’t want to make it awkward for their children.  
“Benji invited them...” Jade starts. Benji asked the twins if they would want to sleep over at his place. He probably gathered that his parents would love some time alone with everything happening. The twins took him up on his offer, enjoying time with their big brother, especially as he’s travelling so much or otherwise spending time with his girlfriend – well, fiancée now.  
Jade doesn’t get any further. Beck doesn’t need any more. He gathers from those words and the way Jade starts to tell him that the twins are out and that she doesn’t expect them back anytime soon. She would’ve outright told him otherwise.  
That’s why he promptly interrupts her with a kiss which she returns passionately.


End file.
